Separation After 25 Years

   A friend said something to her or was influenced by someone (religious or otherwise). In the meantime, menopause may have started, etc. There is a reason for sure. Reason by writing here. And stroke and alcohol are not compatible. Despair is not a solution. Don't worry, the sun will rise tomorrow as well. M54

   The advice is to let her break her head and cut her finances, and let's just start with your son, I guess she's caught the critical one.

   What advice to give you. Most commenters are teenagers. Just head up. Better alone than with an unfaithful wife. Believe me, no woman has the courage to leave a long-term husband without someone new to encourage her. Sick sewn, do not worry unnecessarily B

   I can not give the most adequate advice, I think, but I will say one thing - I came to the conclusion that life in a couple (marriage) literally depersonalizes the person, he feels almost obliged to be until the next day and night, for years, to merges with him, to die for him almost and if he can - to put himself in the background. And this is called love and marital duty. It's not that it's not love, but it's more convenience! Love is for the other to be free and not indebted to you. This is love for me. You're too dependent on your wife, and I don't think stroke matters here unless you're saying it to show how vulnerable you have been and how unfair it is to you. Well, it's not male! Feel free to be a man, a man, a person, not an appendage of your wife. That's it. If you choose to feel like an appendage, you will suffer.

   Your wife probably has another. I'm sorry, but it seems so to me. Don't ruin yourself, forget her and continue your life without her. I know it's hard, but it's not impossible. Time heals. Thank God you are still healthy and have no serious problems after the stroke. And something very important - settle your property relations with your ex-wife / because she is already an ex - seven months is not a short time /. Apartments, money - you have to share what you have in common. Try to somehow find out about the divisions out of court, otherwise you will lose everything.

   Hello author. When you had a stroke, your wife fell into a kind of sobering shock. She has realized that she has not had her own contacts and friendships for years, that the acquaintances you are most likely the only family she can't really count on if you're in trouble, and that she's absolutely dependent on you and that if something happens with you, she is left completely alone and without support. She felt betrayed, abandoned. She has panicked and wants to be sure that she will not be in such a situation again. She took stock and was scared of the result. Most likely, she is now blaming herself and you for all the missed life opportunities and for all the plans that she, as a family, failed to realize for herself and you. She looked around, saw where she was at this stage of her life, and she didn't like it. This is, which happened in the 3 weeks - until the stroke it was as if you lived automatically and by inertia, and suddenly it was as if someone woke her up from sleep with a blow with a wet rag :) And shock and fear kill in the desire to escape and change - and you both probably need to talk to a therapist after what happened. It is a mistake to drink, and it hurts you - stop and focus better on fully recovering, changing the diet, activity and habits that led to the disease. This is the best thing you can do right now, take care of yourself. It is a mistake to drink, and it hurts you - stop and focus better on fully recovering, changing the diet, activity and habits that led to the disease. This is the best thing you can do right now, take care of yourself. It is a mistake to drink, and it hurts you - stop and focus better on fully recovering, changing the diet, activity and habits that led to the disease. This is the best thing you can do right now, take care of yourself.

   Well, author - welcome to the club! and I am divorced after 21 years of marriage, and I have an acquaintance who divorced again after 20 years of marriage. And not to get married, but to calmly experience the thrills of love. Unlike you, I was in the deserts for 5 years, transferring 50% of my wife's earnings to take care of myself and the child. And when I came home and it became clear that the income had stopped, I was told that I no longer loved her, not exactly her, etc. Now he owns 200 thousand euros and will go somewhere with the child. Two things are very important in our case: 1. Do not get depressed and memories of the past. Whatever it was. The best is yet to come! 2. Do not drink without reason and measure - you do not feel how you enjoy it and you can swallow. One tip: catch a divorced friend and live with her. It may not be old, but if you want it, it can be better. Your wife is like a coin 50, no one will tolerate her and no wonder when she is left alone, she comes to ask you to get together again. Do not do it. What is broken is broken! As number 1 said - The sun will rise again tomorrow and will be better than today! The best is yet to come! I wish you happiness!

   I am very uncomfortable to write this, but according to my observations the weakness of men, after a certain age are the heart and blood, and in women is the psyche, after 40 years of age go crazy and develop all sorts of mental disorders, for example I will give you a group of "tourists", abandon men and children and together go on tourism, tour the mountains and constantly demonstrate their independence. Another example, more ugly is how such women go around the pubs and offer themselves to men or just get drunk like pigs. They just think they look younger that way.

   Eeee, you're scary! Thanks to everyone who responded. I stopped the money a long time ago, I give it to my son every week. I buy him clothes, shoes, we go to lunch, coffee. There is no property to share, except for one car, which he still drives. I can't sell it without her consent, but I can discard it. I can hear from here and there that she is suffocating financially and has taken out some loans, but she would have thought so. Drinking is symbolic, finger whiskey to relax. I was a female psychologist, he generally didn't tell me something I didn't know. In 30 minutes. she told me that she was on the same ledge. Crazy work. Thanks again to everyone. Health and luck.

   Author, who gives credit to a woman who has never worked? You seem to be mushrooming us! Or is it from our clever stories lately, how the woman will suddenly fall into a difficult condition - financially and morally, and will start begging you to take her home! And you, as a very broad-minded person, will do it! Let's stop making up!

   He has been working on an employment contract since September. We still use general mail and there every month the bank sends a statement. So I find out He still bears my name and if he stops paying, they will look for me. Unfortunately, the story is not made up, and I'm not so broad-minded. I'm far from thinking that all the stories here are real, but I don't see the point in messing with anyone.

   I am a man of 33 with a child of 6, after 11 years of relationship and my wife decided she wanted to be free and independent, did not appreciate my care, help in the household, my meek nature, I was always ready to compromise, but would not. Crazy work. Don't drink, have casual sex and play sports.

   That's right 10, very cool mushroom this uncle. Enough with this drinking propaganda! A cup of this, a cup of that ... very pathetic.

   Author, are you serious? Your wife started working in September, now it's October, her bank has already granted her a loan. I don't know if you know that in order to give you a loan, they are researching your internship for the last five years at least. But nothing, you write, and we will read.

   "She told me that it was best to separate temporarily. To make sense of the situation, to take a breath because I was suffocating her." Bingo !!!! these are the classic remarks and excuses that every woman with a lover utters in order to get rid of the unnecessary man. I experienced the same thing with my first wife, I was much younger and naive and I almost became attached to her lies. But something told me ... And only a week after our "temporary" separation, which she asked for "to find herself" , I caught her at the crime scene. I immediately filed for divorce. Author, I can't know 100% what your case is, but it seems that it's about your wife's "butterflies in the stomach". I hope not, of course. In any case, leave her, do not look for her, she will either realize or not. But try to understand the truth! A friend of mine hired a detective, as crazy as it sounds, and found out the truth about his "temporary" separation from his wife. It turned out that his had a 1 year relationship with another before they separated. Anyway. You decide what to do, but the most important thing is to preserve yourself as a psyche and spirit! Do not give up! True, you have been with this woman for many years, you have a child, but these women are like that today. Leave her, don't look for her, let her look for you! Then sit down and talk. don't look for her, let her look for you! Then sit down and talk. don't look for her, let her look for you! Then sit down and talk.

   Thank you nom. 17! I don't look for her, I don't call her, I only contact my son. I'm considering taking my car home. It's unlikely we'll ever get together, it just won't be the same anymore.

   That's right, and I don't understand what it's like to always look for a reason to talk about drinking everywhere. It may be an anonymous site here, but it is a free space and drinkers must have the self-awareness to be aware of this fact - it is said to have a sober judgment. What is worthy of drinking, and even more of explaining that you are doing it? Let him who wants to drink, but not to flaunt it and not to intrude!

   Author, when you wrote in your last post you will take her car, it became completely clear to me why she left you. You are a petty accountant! You will take the car because you bought it with money made by you! And what should she take? The love she gave you? The comfort it provided you to work calmly? The household care she took care of on her own? Caring for a child while you worked 12 hours? What exactly to take back?

   Do not despair, be careful with the drinker that in such moments men are vulnerable. Don't think anything bad, don't do anything extreme. Whatever is going to happen will happen. Don't chase her, stay in position, be strong! A male bully does not scream! Sooner or later her mind will come to her. If it's too late, he'll suffer a lot. But now the most important thing for you is to save yourself!

   Author, everything you wrote, except the last one, shows that you love your wife. 21 years is a lot, your whole conscious life has passed together. Are you ready to put a cross on it? And for what exactly? It amazes me that you obviously haven't listened to what she told you until now. And she must have told you another time. Everything is fixed with conversations, but if you don't talk to each other, it can't happen. My own marriage was not easy, we from 18 years. are together. We are from different nationalities and unfortunately this plays a role. We have had crises, serious sometimes. I left him in 2 months. Fixed our frantic desire to be together and the so-called "family therapy", which we went to a total of 2 times. It had such a huge effect! I highly recommend it to you too. The first step is to start communicating again. No mean and no insults. As objectively as possible and with respect for the other! If you start talking, especially with the help of a specialist, I believe things will get better. I wish you from the bottom of my heart. The woman

   Here is a woman involved, which is very nice. I really still love my wife, despite the pain, the disappointment it caused me. During these seven months, I have spoken to her many times. But it was a monologue, not a dialogue. During those seven months, he didn't call me once to see if I was alive, given the illness I had. I suggest we go to a family counselor - he flatly refused. I began to think that magic had been done, although I had never believed in such things. For her, important dates, such as birthdays, wedding anniversaries and others, became simple, some numbers and some dates. Now to nom. 20. Probably you are also a woman, only expelled or abandoned by your husband. You call me an accountant, but I assure you that in my former family, nothing has ever been accounted for. Everything was bought no matter how much it cost and always in cash. For information on nom. 20, four months after I moved out, I continued to pay the bills while furnishing my new habitat. However, I'm tired of it. I liked Nom's comment. 21, I leave to fate, whatever is going to happen will happen. Everyone has written, at least I believe in it from the bottom of my heart ..

   Don't hang around because the clock is ticking ... !!! After 7 months there is nothing and no one to wait for, and even to turn around ... it will not be like before. Divorce! - you submit documents ... this will give you clarity of the situation. Take care of your son !, use every moment to be together, do common things ... become his best friend !!! The difficult moment is to find a companion in life at the age of 51 .... Your ex-wife will always be in your mind and heart, that's clear, but she'll be somewhere in the "left corner." Concentrate on your son and your own life. Do not isolate yourself, do not drink, take care of yourself !!! (easy to say, hard to do)

   From H 20. No author, no guess. I have been happily married for 25 years. But look what I ask you, and what you answer me. If you talked to your wife in the same way, no wonder there was a crash. Understand - no woman leaves a place where she is happy and loved. Few women would leave a sick husband, even simply because of the inconvenience of the children and the family, unless they have a good reason. The fact that she doesn't even want to hear about you shows that there are things you certainly keep quiet about.

   That says it all about me ... "To make sense of the situation, to take a breath because I was suffocating her. She accused me that during all these years, she was always sitting alone, I didn't like her friends and acquaintances, and I'm still worked. "Author, no one runs away from the good .... no woman. If she felt calm, loved, appreciated and recognized during your cohabitation, if you gave her wings and supported her in decisions and communication with others, if you showed her all this, if you put the time spent with her in the first place (what is this work for 12-14 hours, well, the family). But if you trampled on her desires and ignored her, belittled her desires, if you were irritable and nervous about her, would you get here? If only he had given her more love ... it's that simple. If you poured "

   Well, you must be right. Everyone has some chips to cut. I know mine, and she knows them very well. I like to sit at home, especially after a hard day, I do not like noisy companies, I find it difficult to meet new people, and I am one hundred percent supporter of the maxim "my home is my fortress". I like psychiatric movies, and I can watch Hannibal or something by Tarantino a hundred times without getting bored. But that doesn't really matter anymore.

   The woman speaks complete nonsense, guided only by her own experience and husband. Of course, there are women who leave their husbands sick or without a reason. Sometimes because of looking for a new thrill, asking for something new and a change in life, some dreams and goals. Quite often it is the beloved and desired women who leave, and the crushed and unrequited women are silent and stay. My advice to the lady who sprinkles wit is to read a little psychology and look around.

   Up to 20 & 25: Yes, it is true that no one leaves for no reason and especially if his family life is good. When there is a reason for this family idyll to be broken, the reason is shared at the moment, if it can be fixed, if it can't, people are divided. Clear and precise ... not waiting for 20 years. When we start a family, each of us vows eternal love and fidelity. This is a big deception, because none of us knows in 5-10 ... 20 years how he will develop as a person - thought, intellect, morality. Against the background of daily murderous everyday life (actions on duty) our emotional connection with the spouse disappears, actions arousing positive emotions in the other, the relationship cools down, love disappears, everyday life becomes a habit, quite annoying at times. Man doesn't excite us ... and his body doesn't excite us emotionally and physically either. Emotional infidelity precedes physical infidelity. And when one of the two offers a temporary separation, he, the proposer, simply concentrates on the new object of emotions - the lover! He evaluates it, evaluates it ... and evaluates himself to what extent he can take on his negative character traits. If they are more bearable, she ends up with her husband, if not, she does her best to return to the "family" ... until the new addition. The husband and wife spend some time alone. They do not talk, they are ashamed of their own desires and thoughts. They take their partner for granted ... and that's how divisions and divorces happen. They are both to blame for this ... but there must be talks in time .... the offering, concentrates on the new object of emotions - the lover! He evaluates it, evaluates it ... and evaluates himself to what extent he can take on his negative character traits. If they are more bearable, she ends up with her husband, if not, she does her best to return to the "family" ... until the new addition. The husband and wife spend some time alone. They do not talk, they are ashamed of their own desires and thoughts. They take their partner for granted ... and that's how divisions and divorces happen. They are both to blame for this ... but there must be talks in time .... the offering, concentrates on the new object of emotions - the lover! He evaluates it, evaluates it ... and evaluates himself to what extent he can take on his negative character traits. If they are more bearable, she ends up with her husband, if not, she does her best to return to the "family" ... until the new addition. The husband and wife spend some time alone. They do not talk, they are ashamed of their own desires and thoughts. They take their partner for granted ... and that's how divisions and divorces happen. They are both to blame for this ... but there must be talks in time .... it does its best to return to the "family" ... until the new addition. The husband and wife spend some time alone. They do not talk, they are ashamed of their own desires and thoughts. They take their partner for granted ... and that's how divisions and divorces happen. They are both to blame for this ... but there must be talks in time .... it does its best to return to the "family" ... until the new addition. The husband and wife spend some time alone. They do not talk, they are ashamed of their own desires and thoughts. They take their partner for granted ... and that's how divisions and divorces happen. They are both to blame for this ... but there must be talks in time ....

   Classic of the genre. Your wife has another, so that's the whole point. Instead of supporting you in the most difficult moment of your life, when you are sick, she betrays you. So she was like that, but now you see her real face. Don't be interested in her anymore, in time she will look for you herself. Take care of yourself, find someone younger and everything will fall into place.

   Isn't your son with you, how can he be alone?