Hello, I am looking for a solution to my problem and consolation. I have been married for several years. Things don't seem to be going well in sex. I will tell you an incident that is very fresh - from yesterday. Basically, at the beginning of our relationship with my husband, we had sex almost every day. Maybe it is important to specify our age, I am 29 years old and he is 31 years old. Yesterday, after dinner, he decided he wanted to have sex with me. It's always like that with us - when he decides I have to be available, and when I want he usually responds with "again, oh I'm drinking my beer, oh I ate a while ago, I'm tired", etc.
We hadn't had sex anymore for two weeks and I decided to give myself to him, despite the tendency I notice - to become more and more insensitive to me. He immediately turned me on my back, without foreplay, kisses, nothing, jokes, took my clothes off my waist down and started straight. Then he threw me on the table with brute force, then on the sofa, where I lay face down and stood speechless, just looking at the table ... And he had focused only on my genitals and gave me instructions on how to stand to have a good visibility to them ...
The only thing I could do was cry. Something he didn't immediately understand because he didn't even look me in the face. Then I cried harder and pulled away, got up and went crying to the bathroom with the words "I do not want more." In my bathroom, I cried out loud, and when I wiped away my tears, I went out to get dressed. He asked me what made me very surprised by my reaction. I explained to him that I was his wife, that he hadn't kissed or touched me tenderly in months, and that I didn't like him treating me like a pile of meat just to handle like a ferocious animal. I told him, that I want him to pay at least a little attention to my reactions during sex to watch what I like and what I don't, because he is for two, not for the man, and the woman is in the role of a sex inflatable doll. He didn't answer anything. He always does so when there is a problem. He is silent and never tries to make things right. We went out, I looked away and I was a little angry. He stroked my arm from time to time, then told me "how can you say such things."
Nothing more. I was silent again, I wanted to see what he would come up with this time. We went to bed in the evening and he just told me he loved me. The new day has come. This is our story. And he would never talk about her again until my next cry. And it wasn't like that before. Before we started with kisses, there was French love, something that is now completely absent. The problem with me with the French is that it doesn't wash off the bottom with an intimate gel, for example with mine, and has a slight unpleasant odor. That repulses me. I love clean and well-groomed men. It wasn't like that before. Now it happens that he takes a shower every 3 days once. He wears the same T-shirt under his blouse, even though it smells of sweat, and if he throws it in the laundry and screams at me, I haven't decided when to change my clothes and how I would feel if he touched me like that. A child does not want to have, he always justifies that we do not have money.
Our income was small, 1,000 in total for both of us. I don't know what to do, I've tried everything, and if I try to leave it won't let me, it starts rudely, takes my house keys, things, shoes so I can't go out, if he sees that I'm serious he starts some complaints ... How much he loved me, etc. And I soften every time. It works because after a few days he's nice to me and everything is as I want him to be but then it becomes the same again. He accuses me that if I wanted tender sex with kisses, etc., I would have found someone gay, because real men did it like him. All of masculinity kills him. And it is not visible that it is full of complexes. He's a nice man, but he doesn't want us to go in public. The mall is hell for him, there were a lot of people. And what of it, people like us. No, they stared, shouted, teased. I hope to receive advice from you, I am very confused, maybe you, looking at my life from the side, will see the truth better than me. Thanks. And so what, people like us.
No, they stared, shouted, teased. I hope to receive advice from you, I am very confused, maybe you, looking at my life from the side, will see the truth better than me. Thanks. And so what, people like us. No, they stared, shouted, teased. I hope to receive advice from you, I am very confused, maybe you, looking at my life from the side, will see the truth better than me. Thanks.
Answers 31
Terrible story. I wouldn't put up with it for a day. I have the feeling that he is ashamed of you, of the way you look, that's why he avoids public places. And that's why in sex it's like that, you don't arouse him. and that's why he doesn't look at you. He may be in love with another and think of another while he handles you. I have no words for impurity.
Apparently not the one you fell in love with. He seems to be some kind of hypocrite and liar. m31
Come to your senses while it's time because time flies. Silence, compromises and ... life goes away. I wonder more and more whether we can really be happy with someone or it is a temporary feeling. As selfish as it may seem, it's best to be self-sufficient. I wish you to meet happiness, but do not look for it HERE. M40.
I want to help. The child will not fix things. Let me tell you what will happen if you don't leave. It will get worse. He will play leagues on others, but because of his fragrant T-shirts he will be left with a finger in his mouth. It will close and become more complex. He can start drinking in the evening like that,, normally, then you will eat a slap. You will feel sorry for yourself and blame for everything, it will become hell and you will wonder, how did I get here,,. Run!
Leave this one ... No matter how much he complains, then it's the same again, isn't it? He has already taken you for granted and does not think that he needs to take basic care not only of himself but also of yourself. Glad you don't have a child. You are young, don't worry. Since he has become such a pig in a few years, I don't think what will happen next.
While he's at work, get your things and get out of there. If he tries to harass you with a complaint and a restraining order. You deserve something better!
Can anyone give me a logical explanation why 90% of women get caught up in such scams?
Other times I explain from afar and more, but in your case I will just say - get out! Immediately! You live with an animal!
First, in order not to want children, he obviously does not intend to be serious with you in the future and does not want to complicate his life. Secondly, for him to treat you like that in bed means that he really doesn't care what you will experience. Third, in my opinion, he does not want to go to public places so as not to spend money. And this again leads to reason number 1, because when a man does not take seriously the woman next to him, he does not want to make "investments" in her, in the sense that it is pointless for him to invest in something that is so (not I know if I explained it well, I hope you get the idea) This is also complete nonsense for real men - this man just does not waste time, effort and money to show you that you are special to him. And before you make me a materialist, I'm not saying it's about large sums. I will give a simple example - let's say the man comes home from work and sees a flower booth with his wife's favorite roses. If he loves her, he would take, for example, 1 rose for 3-4 BGN, with which he will not become poor, but will show that she is important to him and her happiness is a priority for him. If not, he will pass by and buy 3-4 levs, say ... beer. Such men please themselves and do not like money when it is for them. My idea is that your husband, my dear, does not care about absolutely anything (even personal hygiene), because he takes you for granted and these theatrical performances to keep you are just out of selfishness and complexes. RUN in time before a baby is fouled - this man is not for you. I don't know who it is for at all. Julie that she is important to him and her happiness is a priority for him. If not, he will pass by and buy 3-4 levs, say ... beer. Such men please themselves and do not like money when it is for them. My idea is that your husband, my dear, does not care about absolutely anything (even personal hygiene), because he takes you for granted and these theatrical performances to keep you are just out of selfishness and complexes. RUN in time before a baby is fouled - this man is not for you. I don't know who it is for at all. Julie that she is important to him and her happiness is a priority for him. If not, he will pass by and buy 3-4 levs, say ... beer. Such men please themselves and do not like money when it is for them. My idea is that your husband, my dear, does not care about absolutely anything (even personal hygiene), because he takes you for granted and these theatrical performances to keep you are just selfishness and complexes. RUN in time before a baby is fouled - this man is not for you. I don't know who it is for at all. Julie RUN in time before a baby is fouled - this man is not for you. I don't know who it is for at all. Julie RUN in time before a baby is fouled - this man is not for you. I don't know who it is for at all. Julie
Gather your luggage and leave until it gets worse.
As a man, I would tell you - TO RUN FROM HIM! Now is the time. You are in the prime of your life - a woman's best years are 30 to 40. Live them with someone who will appreciate you! If nothing goes in bed, then in principle it will not work. There is the thrill, there is the fire of a relationship. Doesn't she give you everything she loves and doesn't shower you with kisses, love and tenderness - you will soon look for her from someone else. So - run until you have a child. Find love, find the one who will make you tremble. The one for whom foreplay will be more important (as well as your pleasure) than sex itself. He protects himself from three types of men in his life: Jealous, alcoholics or excessive "men" - all three will sooner or later be disappointed. Years later, the moment comes when they overdo it with the "cup" or they begin to reach out and humiliate the woman next to them. Don't think at all! M26
your problem is not only in sex, but in its overall relationship. man neither loves you nor respects you. dump it, you're young.
You won't leave, darling, just because you're married, you'll get a divorce to come across another salesman who's going to be even worse ... because for an unmarried man, a woman who has a failed marriage behind her back, a beaten card, yes we don't talk if you have a child. You may have a chance with someone divorced as well as a child, but don't expect something special to happen, let alone something better. The truth is that you are the one who has the opportunity to change things to impose yourself, to show your real man that you can be a real woman, if you fail to impose yourself and continue to be the same jerk subject to manipulation and without an opinion to be a factor you will remain the same crumpled rag in the eyes of the next one who will take advantage of you. You lack self-confidence because you are weak and have no will. Most men don't like to regret because they are disgusted by such scenes that spoil their discomfort and shout to themselves: "fuck the stupid pussy, now what does he want to roar at me and make scenes for me" Take matters into your own hands because you are married and no one has forced you and not he led them before the bridle. Burn your mind and if you get divorced, try to have a serious reason. In this situation as a man, I would advise you to put the stupid bastard in his place by showing him that you are independent and strong and also resolute. Don't care when he wants to shake you, be the one who decides, besides, make yourself beautiful and pay more attention and start going out with friends and you're gone in the evening, try to see you with another man and have him make you jealous, start going to the malls alone and when he looks for you irritate him and tell him that he does not want to be your company, you are looking for the company yourself. The independence and determination of a strong woman can drive any man crazy, even more so his own man. I guarantee you that you will be able to impose on him all kinds of measures and behavior and schedules to follow if you do not let him understand clearly and precisely, tell him that he is not the man for you and you are ready to part with him if he does not change habits you are. However, do not give in to his attempts to pretend to be as kind and gentle as you like, be strong and let him understand the rules. The risk is that he may decide to leave you if he is of the euphoric breed, which I think is not far from the truth since he does not even kiss you and does not let your tongue down. Whatever you decide, however, be honest with yourself and with dignity before you catch a lover or another man, tell him these things so that your marriage has a chance, if there is no change or lasting effect, we are talking about a change in emotional terms, then the marriage is lost anyway. Then I just advise you to catch a lover, whether he is married or single, just find what you lack, passion, attitude ... respect and trust.
Why do 90% of women get involved with such swindlers, but because 90% of men are like that, including me, and you know what, I don't think I'm going to change, because I've found a woman who accepts me as I am. accepted her with her shortcomings. You have two options, either to accept the marriage as it is, or to look for the prince on a white horse, but let something shine on you, even the princes have their shortcomings, which may be worse, and then you will wail again. on anonymous sites. And I can't understand that with sex, my wife and I do it the way you described and she never complained, on the contrary, there are moments of tenderness, but it comes from within, in general, sex is sex, for men it is on a physical level, but in general your inability to cope with marriage is something that you will carry with you in the next, because I'm sure that what you have presented as arguments is distorted and exaggerated, women are just like that, you find problems where there are none, I don't know if for more attention or to make innocent sacrifices, but the fact is that men they have their own stereotypical shortcomings as do women. In conclusion, I will say that when a person has no problems, he invents them himself.
Hello, I support everyone who advised you to get rid of this person! Why do you tolerate this disgusting attitude? I understand if you had a child to put up with because of the child, but you don't and nothing keeps you from this "man" ... Don't bind him to the pathetic talk and requests not to leave him, because he manipulates you like that, he understood that that's how his number will go and you won't leave him, telling you, for example, that he loves you, that he can't live without you, that he will change ... but this is obviously just talk, enough to blur your eyes. w 26
You have been married for several years ... I have been married for over 20 years. Most men become like this after years - they take the woman next to them for granted and stop caring for her, there are no hugs, kind words and romance, but only rough sex, and as and when they want. In fact, there are very few men who have the thrill and keep it over the years. I try to predispose him and be kind and keep the fire alive, but all this is like walking on a rope, where keeping balance is quite a difficult job .... The forums are full of such topics - the dissatisfied and underestimated women.
I think all men get there at some point, or at least most. It's like describing mine. Exactly the same attitude. Finally she finishes in 2 minutes and gets out of bed, and she dumps me unsatisfied and crying. That's why I've been deliberately avoiding having sex with him lately. For what? Just another humiliation? Not to mention how many times I've tried to explain to him that it just doesn't happen. However, no, it's like talking on a wall.
Make a colleague or neighbor happy
Hello! I agree with all the comments so far. You, too, have already realized that you have no future with this person. I am a man, but I do not see anything masculine in his behavior, but complex. At this age, if he doesn't caress you tenderly, kiss you on the body and doesn't make you wet and look forward to it before the act, then when? When will you decide to have a child when you turn 40? If you ask me, you're already late. You don't have to have a child from such a pseudo macho. I have no idea how you liked such garbage, no apology. The way you write and think shows that you are an intelligent woman and your children do not deserve such a father. You know that after 30 years for a woman, the biological clock starts ticking faster, but you know it very well yourself. Get away from him and no matter how much you drool that he can't do without you, be adamant and don't soften! And further, what God said. I wish you success with breaking the shackles!
If you are not happy with the situation you are in - change it. That is, change the man, and there is no way to change him.
That's why my wife and I have sex once a week, but with quality. As I read how many dissatisfied and worn-out women there are, I'm going to kill you all !? !! Why not behave like that by behaving like that with you will help! M25
I think you found some others
I risk repeating myself with everyone so far, but still. Stop having sex, your husband has purely personal problems. Think about what such a relationship gives you (what kind of relationship, it's a marriage)? You look like a well-read girl, why do you put up with her? How are you less than the one in question to please him? You have no children, save yourself while you can. Such long-suffering genes as yours, under the road and over the road, get nowhere. Mizhiturki remain forever. Find a thinking and diligent boy, you have every chance. Success!
Your husband has problems, most likely at work. The fact that it is not washed speaks of depression and fear neurosis. Light, very light, but still problematic if not fixed. That's why he's being rude to you. The most important thing is to fix your problems. Sex will work on its own.
Get rid of it quickly. It will not change. A man is to fuck like an animal, but it is not a man to catch money for a family! The desire for a baby does not depend on financial capabilities. If it depended, we would have evaporated as a nation a long time ago. Leave it, you released the topic a month ago ... I hope you have already decided
Here's a piece of advice - get rid of this one. I'm a 27-year-old man and if anyone treats me like that, I'll beat her ass. I and any man who normally respects himself and the woman next to him would not behave like that. Success!
Well, I'm sincerely sorry to say it, but he's either cheating on you or he's selfish. He just wants to disgust him, which is not very good. The next time you try to leave him and he won't let you be direct. I know it's hard, I personally can't do it, but you have to: tell him the pure truth and what you think. If he gets angry and beats you, just file a complaint
I am a man of 45. So as not to scratch too much and repeat myself with the others ... I'll tell you ... listen to the advice of number 10 and number 12 ... And number 18 may be a cool chick ...
Go away! The faster the better. That's what 90% of the writers here tell you. Believe us! With this copy you have no chance. Even 1%.
Dear people, I am spamming this 'old' story, because it is unexpectedly very similar to mine, almost 1 to 1. I hope things have developed in the best way for the author ... Honey! The difference, however, for me is that he: - even wants a baby; - we are 22 years old. me and 23 years old, and we are neither married nor engaged; - we have not had sex every day, only in extremely rare and short periods; - I don't think he is insensitive, but changeable ... - he talks about his feelings for me, at another moment I made him angry and he starts insulting me. To note - the blame for everything is in me every time according to him; - we go out, but rarely; - begins to undress me directly, only occasionally kissing me for a few seconds; - it happened that he allegedly left him and me .. We lived in apartments, and now in his city and in his apartment - it happened that he chased me to talk.
Wow, is there anything wrong with you? I did not see one. Sex is bad because it's woody and safe and super boring, and you're wondering how to make up for it with foreplay and emphasizing caresses. His intoxication sucks. In the malls, I also agree that he does not want to go to save. I doubt he has any serious intentions for you. He just doesn't look after a child that much, 1,000 is really not much, but having a child is not his top priority, it's still his. Hygiene is a complete disgust. That he doesn't even sleep when you make a remark to him. It's just that this is your real man, you fell in love with someone like that, you went with someone like that. Now it has shown itself in its almost complete beauty, now if you have a child, it will show itself in its absolute full beauty.