Hello readers! I would like to share a twisted story for advice, as I can't put the puzzle together. I have a relationship with a wonderful girl of almost 2 years, which was about to end a few days ago. She is extremely patient and dedicated in every way and has always looked for a way to make me happy with something, and I, surrounded and obsessed with professional problems, did not pay attention to almost anything she did to turn our world into a place where we will both be happy together. And not that I didn't pay attention, I saw and noticed, I was happy, but I never showed it to her. She endured a lot, and her self-sacrifice was great. She had recently begun contact with a boy whose purpose was to sleep with her and was willing to do anything to achieve it. I understood in time, we talked. We promised each other to go both ways. I said I would change and she believed. Alas, I was deep in thoughts again about how to save my job, I did nothing, I avoided attention and intimate relationships. We were on vacation for a few days 3 weeks ago. Immediately after we returned, the same boy I mentioned contacted her again. They talked for hours on the phone. The next day they went out and there was close contact, not intimate! They often went out and in the end she cheated on me. I caught her, we drove, we talked. During this period, when she went out with him, she repeatedly sought intimacy with me, but I played her. According to her, when I asked why she sought intimacy with me when she wanted one with him, she replied that she wanted to get me back. She didn't want much all this time, ordinary attention and ordinary gestures. She claims that she only failed once. We went out, we talked, I took her hand and I wanted to know if she wanted to be with me in the future, if she wanted to save what she had, and I accordingly to swallow my ego and be the one she deserves. I wrote above that her self-sacrifice was really huge, if it was another girl she would have beaten my jester a long time ago, but alas, she has been staying for almost 2 years and has endured all my negligence. I don't know what to expect, she had decided to separate before she cheated, because she had already gone this way to give her best, and the person next to her would not reflect anything of what was happening to him. Please for opinions and advice. I'm confused and indecisive, which is not my style, I've always found the answers to difficult questions, but this story is ruining me little by little. I know she hasn't slept with this boy only once, but hey ... in 14 days it won't be 100 times. We are human, we make mistakes and we must forgive. I forgave, but was it right I apologize for the long story, but I had to write things in more detail to get a minimal idea of the story. Greetings!
Answers 19
I was impressed that you manage to make a good analysis of the situation and report your mistakes correctly. In this sense, I believe that you are mature enough to be able to truly forgive yourself and her and eventually continue with new foundations. If you are sure of yourself that you can do this, and not carry anger in yourself and "get revenge" with small and not so small actions in the future .... Honestly, you look more mature and calm than me even though I think you're smaller. I am too emotional to give you the right advice for you. It will certainly not be easy for me to swallow the infidelity, if I continue with the person I will take revenge in time - whether with quarrels on other occasions, whether with ignorance in important moments for him ... I'm just such a character, and probably I will. "slipped". Come to think of it, I have never neglected my partner - we are our best friends, so if I have a lot of guilt ... I would still go a little further, at least for a few days to analyze well and if he comes back I can be sure that he will return with pure consciousness, not with anger. It would be difficult, maybe impossible for me. In your situation, the question will remain: why after she decided to separate from you BEFORE she was with the other boy, did she not do it first? Isn't it just an excuse, and even if she thought so, she didn't let you know that she was cheating. She didn't break up with you first. However, we do not know what she has sacrificed so much for you ... a not with anger. It would be difficult, maybe impossible for me. In your situation, the question will remain: why after she decided to separate from you BEFORE she was with the other boy, did she not do it first? Isn't it just an excuse, and even if she thought so, she didn't let you know that she was cheating. She didn't break up with you first. We don't know, however, what she has sacrificed so much for you ... a not with anger. It would be difficult, maybe impossible for me. In your situation, the question will remain: why after she decided to break up with you BEFORE she was with the other boy, did she not do it first? Isn't it just an excuse, and even if she thought so, she didn't let you know that she was cheating. She didn't break up with you first. However, we do not know what she has sacrificed so much for you ...
Well, it's good that you're just aware. And how many times has she forgiven you, have you thought about it? Give it back and I hope you appreciate it this time!
Personally, in my opinion, the moment a person cheats on the other, the relationship ends
Rather, your girlfriend should ask herself if she did the right thing by coming back to you. If you do not change your behavior, the result will be the same. Pay attention to the women next to you, no one is obliged to be with a man who treats him as if he is not worthy of his love and attention.
And I cheated on my ex because he was playing me sexually. F31
This girl just isn't for you. She recently started in contact with a boy ... well, it doesn't start out of nowhere. You write that you "understood in time", but did you think that there may have been other cases in which you did not understand at all? The girl lives, she doesn't care about her girlfriends. It's interesting how strong your guilt is - you blame yourself for part or even the whole situation. You didn't pay attention to her and blah blah blah and she cheated. You justify it. Such intimate relationships are not built, at least not real and harmonious, deep relationships. Unfortunately, more than half of people nowadays cannot have normal intimate relationships, the main "culprit" for this is overdeveloped communications. Everyone is always looking for something "on", and instant internet communication means they can find something "
* At the moment you justify her in every way, just to make you believe how good and dedicated she is in your relationship. If she was good, would she cheat on you? !! If she was dedicated, would she be in someone else's arms? !! * My husband is also busy and can't go to work, he didn't even sleep in the summer, we saw each other for an hour, enough to enjoy each other and he started working again. Yes, I was sick, I was sad, but I didn't cheat on him, I supported him. It never crossed my mind to cheat on him when he loves a person, he can't let another person by his side. * Its author is not a self-sacrifice, but a whim that she has satisfied, but at the cost of losing love, she realized whether this love was so real. * She is self-sacrificing when she has chosen you over everything else. She is self-sacrificing when she chooses to live instead of her. She is self-sacrificing, when she lets her be whipped and saves you. * Yes, everyone makes mistakes, but hers is not a mistake, but a choice. * If I were you, I will NOT forgive betrayal.
A familiar story, she tried to give you a chance, but you didn't do anything, if what you're saying is true, the girl somewhere is legible somewhere. Do you need to sleep with someone to understand what the other means to you, I do not understand such people, the relationship does not work, you end up as a white man and go on your way. You don't have to joke with the person next to you. In my opinion, the relationship is a broken card, firstly because you will not change, and secondly it will be quite humiliating to return to it, at least in my opinion personal opinion. You, for your part, already know best, a piece of advice does not seek human opinion, so as not to be angry with someone later, judge for yourself. Good luck :)
Not her, but you screwed up .... you just shit. Don't forgive her. You beg for forgiveness. But if you intend to ignore her again - free her from your pathetic selfish being!
Wrong question - you do not hit the crux of the problem.
In my opinion, not every relationship ends with infidelity. An example of this is my, and maybe your, relationship. I've also been with my boyfriend for 2 years, I made the same blunder. Forgive me and we are happier now than ever and I would never look at anyone else again. So yes, you did the right thing, and she told you so ... It wasn't because she was fed up with her, on the contrary. People make mistakes. If you love this girl, give her a second chance.
I'm sorry. Life is short.
11, share it a little more, how come you're with someone for 2 years and you've already cheated to cheat so that he forgives, that you are happier than ever? When has this always been the case, these are some measly 2 years in which you have boiled over to meet another, even if you make a "blunder", even if they catch you and have time for forgiveness and happiness. I hope I'm wrong, but I don't think they forgave you, they tolerate you for lack of a better offer and they will play you the minute the "better" one appears. I do not want to be extreme, but in my opinion no one FORGIVES infidelity, there are those who reconcile, there are those who endure, there are all sorts, but there is hardly anyone who forgets betrayal. The ghost of betrayal constantly hovers in such a relationship and the skeleton of infidelity sooner or later comes out of the closet.
11, she wouldn't look until one of your whims reappears, which she doesn't like ... To the author: Really, it seems to me that you are whipping yourself more than necessary. You understand your mistakes, that's fine, but your chick cheated emotionally long before she went to bed with this levent. Think about it, is this a mistake caused by a momentary emotion or a well-thought-out infidelity? Well, she was patient, she was dedicated, but you've obviously crossed the line of those qualities. And only after 2 years, there are not many. Honestly, it's not a big achievement on her part, so I doubt her true qualities. The truth is that we can stretch our delicacies for another 2 months in this topic. However, the solution will come when you sit at a table together and talk. Do not do it in bed, then you will lose your mind and your decision will not be objective :)
Dude, the woman didn't screw up! YOU are for fighting and for f .. no! I wish I could be in the place of the "other" and scatter her plum while you chase Mihalya, sorry - the careerist ... It's good that at least you realize things. There are some shoes and they haven't been felt all my life ...
And why are you denying her sex? how are you doing? You didn't pay attention to her, you took her for granted and she showed you that she wasn't. It's a pity, I don't think your relationship has a future.
Infidelity is a sign, the problem is elsewhere. Lack of responsibility - responsibility to leave you when she is not happy in your relationship, instead of lying to you. A responsibility not to flirt with others just because you're busy, a responsibility not to sleep with this or that, just to give it back to you. The other problem is that you both have no idea how to maintain a relationship. You because you are so engrossed in your problems that you are fooling the whole world. She did because she didn't know how to do it right, so you could at least get along before she got out of the way. Author, if you have to swallow your ego - this relationship will not be it anyway, because you do not love it strongly enough. If that were the case, your ego would only give way. Divide and dare.
You should not refuse sex, but it is a fact that 2/3 of women are perverted to cheat, this is the problem.
Fuck her