It's not about a teenage relationship, we're a little older. I'm 24, she's 25. We've been together for 3 years or so. The difference is that she is very connected to her parents, and I am very independent. At the age of 18 I moved to a dormitory before entering university, I worked, after 2 years I decided what to study and then I applied. And she still lives with hers. Which is her choice. I told her that if we decide to start a family and children, we must be separate from parents and point. Because she often asks me when I was going to propose. How can I suggest to a woman who relies financially on her family for the most part (she is supposedly working on something, still studying, but mainly takes from them) and the bigger problem is a woman who is absolutely mentally dependent on them. Her dad is the ideal man, and I do not hide that I do not like him, and her mother is still above her like an eagle. Otherwise, she is from Pancharevo, she travels to university, she lives with them, sometimes she is with me, and I come from Dragoman, but as I said I lived in a dormitory in Sofia, now I am in a dormitory, plus I work. I respect ours, but I have a more distant relationship with them. Because I already feel like a man. In the beginning, the first 2 years, so to speak, seemed to me a very strong and independent woman. And very clean ... but something, the shell of the shrimp started to crack - it is cancer and without it, I read about them that they are glued to mom and dad all my life, I have a best friend cancer and he is the same , I'm a crazy ram ... As soon as we quarrel more seriously, he complains to theirs or to my mother. Mom likes her and pleases her a lot, which annoys me because our problems are not part of their job. Here is an example. Once we were staying with them in Pancharevo and we were going to go to the birthday party, I've warned her in the morning that she must be ready to leave at 7:00. She was ours and at the last moment she started to shout, and I hate to be late (it wasn't about minutes, it was 20:00) and I shouted at her. I did not offend her. From there, my dad remarked that she was sensitive and shouldn't be rude to her. OK, but these are our things. She also called me many times and was angry. But let's just say, then he intervened. But recently she decided to go to a seminar with a colleague alone at a hotel and things sounded very suspicious to me. It was obviously annoying, but it made me angry and I raised an inhuman scandal. She roared, calling my mother, hers, and her father. All three then jumped at me and I went mad. I fucked them all, I even told them that once again they would get involved and I would build the three of them. And I haven't spoken to her. She is now roaring at me and begging my forgiveness. And I'm tired of her being the eternal victim, doing my trick and then everyone defending her. Only my father sees the truth and tells me in plain text - "leave this league." The irony is that I never share it with my parents or friends, and she always uses them as a buffer. I can not take it anymore! I didn't hit her, I didn't insult her, sometimes I just shout, and let me tell you she's much more violent - she roars, swears, prays, makes scenes. And if I tell our parents that she is unstable and in front of her friends I will want her? The point is, when you love, it's not important to be right, not to be rude to the other, and she humiliates me that way. I have no words for her stupid father. He believed a lot. So my thought is to continue this relationship at all. I love her very much, I am very attracted to her, sex is our top, she is intelligent and I can develop millions of topics with her and talk all night, and we are both great adventurers. But she has the mind of a child and I of the mind of a man. She's addicted, I'm not. I'm annoyed by her parents plus that, and my mother, who is always her support as well. What to do? Sorry for any mistakes, I write from the phone.
Answers 26
You are well aware that energy should not leave the house. There is a problem, it depends on it whether it is solvable. If you want to keep in touch, you can try different / all possible options - from a calm conversation with her about this PROBLEM, which may deepen in the future, to a visit to a psychoanalyst. The latter is useful when your partner / who, however, is an opponent in the dispute / does not believe you about certain things / this is natural, especially when the mind is close to the child /. Because from another / disinterested person /, especially a professional, she will respect and believe. And there will be no trace of emotion, which is certainly present in your relationship. In general, its task is to grow. Good luck
I don't think it's bad to make her move out and live with you. To try to support myself with my own money, as well as to help, but a little. To try to do everything herself, the duties. Live a little and this can affect her well, to learn, of course it will be difficult to pass without tension and scandals, but that's it. If you love her so much, separate her from them. Not so emotional, let her love them, share (ah, how much I hate that) with them, but be independent otherwise and build her life with you. Either she will come to her senses or you will part in time, but in any case it is better than being in this situation for another 6 years, for example.
You are very sharp. I want to hear her point of view, it's interesting to me. You're right about one thing, a family is built with a man and a woman, there's no room for other people. It's so simple, it takes two people, understanding, love, acceptable circumstances and the formula is complete. Your girlfriend can be a great person, but it doesn't matter if she is willing to interfere with your parents and friends in your relationship. It is not bad for a person to be attached to his parents if he observes certain limits. Your girlfriend's boundaries do not overlap with yours, you will have such annoyances that it is not worth talking about. Some imagine that the family is a man, a woman, children and minor relatives, but other people say family and imagine two close-knit families in which everyone is aware of everything. You have different views. I don't know if your girlfriend licked, or you're a nerd, but you won't get along easily. In your place, I would give up this relationship because there is too much discrepancy in your ideas and your worldview. By the way, work on yourself. You can't call the girl's father such ugly epithets, it's a lack of respect for her loved one. You are an Aries, I don't believe in zodiac signs, but you burn fast, you have a fire in you and it will be useful for you to calm down a bit before you burn a whole city of opportunities.
Dude, get her out of your life. It will never change, and it will always be your fault. She is a pamper and there are no fixes.
It is clear what we will all advise you, however ... Obviously you love this woman very much once you have endured this. Don't just break up with her, before that, be sure to talk to her seriously first. Tell her everything that bothers you. Say that you can no longer continue like this - the problems in the relationship are yours and it is not the job of her parents to interfere in it. Tell her to stop complaining to her parents and if there is anything that worries her to talk to you and not look for allies in other people's faces. If she is so dependent on them, offer her to move out together. And now, if she does not agree with these things and again in case of a problem she goes to her parents - wish her success in life. : D PS I had a relationship with a man who at the age of 26 thought that it was normal not just to live with his parents, but also to create a family in the same apartment with them. He also pressured me for marriage and children. He was not so emotionally dependent on his parents, but rather a person who is afraid to take responsibility. We broke up, I just saw that it would never change, so I generally understand what you're talking about.
This applies to both men and women - if they are glued to mom and dad, run away! There is simply no connection with such people. You are never just the two of you, you are never in the first place, constant pressure and manipulation from several sides. They make your life bitter now, and then imagine when there are much more serious issues to interfere with. Therefore, did you see that he interferes with other people in our relations and that he does not stand by my side, on the left. I know that loving someone is not so easy, but it is the truth.
Um, of course, yes, I know this, why it's something known in advance, so it's important for everyone to complain. Kofti sounds like a family, she doesn't look like a stable woman to me. If all disputes are resolved with the roar of parents, where will it end? Set clear boundaries that the problems between you, whatever they are, are solved between you, the others have no place. On the other hand, her behavior is also unacceptable: "roaring, swearing, praying, making scenes." Obviously, communication with others is not her strong point. If there is no change, I do not see how you will proceed.
Hi, It may sound rude but you are different breeds. It's not just this discrepancy, sex is not the only connecting element. Each in his own way. Go on alone, calm down life offers other opportunities. Let the bed go where it is from. Your father is right, listen to him !!! You are an independent man, do the best for yourself.
If you continue this relationship, one day your girlfriend will become just as dependent on you. One addiction leads to another. Parents grow old and from one moment on they cannot act as a buffer. Then you will be on the move - for everything! And after giving birth, there will be a real hell. I know such people: they are always helpless, they can't cope, someone is always to blame, they don't know how to do basic things without help, they live with the belief that the world owes them everything they want, and they ... they are just "good kids". You choose. But as a woman with more experience, I tell you what will happen.
How can I say - you are not for her!
I hope he leaves you! To realize the girl at last.
"Sorry for any mistakes, I'm writing from the phone." Emmy is typing from computers!
Your father is right. One piece of advice, in case your father hasn't explained this specificity to you anymore - Don't lie about it, let's call it - "positive sides" in your relationship, and think that everything will be fine with fairy tales. And that it's all a matter of desire and compromise. You are not children, you should be able to sit down and talk seriously about your future, as well as your behavior, how mature you are and how you should be. You are not blind, you have a head on your shoulders to judge how much her stories are backed by real actions. And if there is a discrepancy, it is clear to you that things are seriously lame. It will get worse in the future, and the stakes will go up. I hope you understand what I'm talking about.
Aries is the most disgusting zodiac sign, there are no two opinions on the matter, you clearly express the trait of being a commander and be forever yours, you are so primary and elementary that a person often vomits from you. I'm not into the zodiac and such mambo-jumbo nonsense, but in rams the dumbness is clearly expressed and he refuses to understand the whole world, except only himself. Selfish :) Dare, let the girl not lose another year of life with you
Such a woman would ruin you in the future - she will always be a victim, she does what she wants, you if you try to impose limits on her (and you are right about the fix and the seminar) - an innocent victim. If you have children, you will also involve them in manipulations and intrigues. Only your mother set it up. Egati! Run away from it with 200 - such people will only want to crush you and will use all means to achieve it. The problem is not even that she is addicted, but that she is hypocritical and confuses intrigue. What relationship do you have once you claim your rights and find ways to crush you right away? Really leave her, because you will be very sorry later.
Now the moralists who are against children, to come in and give you a sense of how better it is to be alone, because having children sucks ... but here you are, people want a family and children, obviously your grapes are sour. If it was that bad, there wouldn't be so many in vitro procedures. Aman! Author, the girl is just close to mom and dad and they did not teach her independence. Help her become more independent. She is just sacrificing her parents and watching them. She has to start fixing herself. Be by her side.
I'm sorry, but we're talking about a 25-year-old woman, aren't we? She is not small at all, and from your words I get the impression of a 16-18 year old girl. I guess her parents are to blame because they're still beating her up, so to speak. I will not comment on the fact that he still lives with them, because the reason may be financial. But it still doesn't sound very adequate. She lacks the maturity and independence that should be typical of a woman of 25. I can only wish that over time she matures emotionally and changes.
My mother-in-law does the same intrigues - lies, manipulations, and she is always an innocent victim. He sets everyone against everyone and people fight on their own afterwards. He was trying to set me against my husband. Everyone knows it is, but they tolerate it. Only he and I drew the line and we no longer communicate with her. Better away from such intriguers and manipulators. I would not have a relationship with a man who sets my own mother against me in order to do whatever he wants. She thus crushes and controls them through relatives.
If you live together, you will help her to separate and become independent, but given the life so far, she will expect you to provide the material part, and if she does not export, she will flirt and go to mom and dad. Being from Sofia and studying in Sofia, you rarely leave your home with enough space before you graduate. There was no other option for you. I'm a woman but I don't like that kind of problem from screaming or actually creating problems and dramas. If the person next to me does such things at some point I will get bored and there will be no going back.
Hmmm, she constantly complains to them and your mother, and you decide to complain to a group of strangers ... Because you like to solve problems on your own. Isn't that ironic. Me, such people do not change - you speak once, I repeat - once, about this problem with her. Then you either break up and look for a single woman (with whom you will have other annoyances), or you stay together and accept her as such and stop tormenting yourself.
If you love her, don't think about parting until you've tried your best to make things the way you want them to be. And it seems to me that so far you haven't even tried to explain to her what you wrote here. Do it. You have already warned her that you will not live with them. Offer her out. Aspire her to be more independent in some way. You know her, you should know how. If he finds a job with a better salary, he will be financially detached from theirs. But you will have to help her with the emotional detachment. Ask her what kind of children she wants to raise. A man who always clings to his mother's skirt does not go far. If he doesn't want your children to be like that, you need to set an example for them together. Make her, instead of going to complain to your loved ones about how you made her feel, tell it to you. Show her that you are ready to listen to her. Your girlfriend is behaving like this, because it is easier for her to have another fight. Convince her that she was strong enough to lead them on her own.
Brother! Run! Run far away and do not turn around. As I read what you wrote, I had the feeling that I was writing. No matter how much it hurts. As much as you love her. Get away from her. You are 24 years old. The same thing happened to my head, only I was 33. Now I'm 40 and I'm waiting for a stroke to break out at any moment. At the age of 15 I lost my father / they divorced /. I have been working and supporting myself since I was 16 years old. After numerous disappointments from the "tender" half, I decided to try one last time. I was dying for my child to love and make a great person. I was also inclined to pay a woman to give birth to my only child. But I met a 34-year-old. Everything was going perfectly. We understood each other in half a word. And after the 6th month of our acquaintance, I dropped the cards on the table. I said, "I have this and that. I can do this and that. I live to create and raise a child. Are we going to waste our time or are you with me?" He thought for two days and said he was staying. After 4-5 months she became pregnant. You have no idea how Beelzebub came into my house! This "thing" turned when she realized she was two months pregnant. It has totally changed. It was as if I had gone to the mental hospital to look for the worst case. I don't want to go into details so I don't have a stroke while I'm writing to you. Give birth. She gave birth with complications because she could not stand the pain. The child was taken out dead until he cried after the 5th minute. This happened on the third day after her water ran out and I pushed two charged phones and I don't know how many times I told her to call me. On the third day I went to the maternity ward to look for her because she didn't pick me up on my thousandth call. They found her. They made her call me. She gave birth on the fourth day. I stay another week. I hired my GP to go and tell me if they were okay. I bought a ring for BGN 200. One day he doesn't wear it. I refused to enroll in civil. I recognized my child and gave him all three names. Wonderful boy! But her scandals and pranks intensified. He jumped to fight my mother. Not once. He speaks absolute nonsense. Every night he stalks me to come back from work and start another scandal. From the behavior and scandals my child has a mental disorder. He is 5 years old and behaves like a one-year-old. He doesn't talk at all. They liken it to autism. She doesn't go to work to watch it. I push all day. Sick, healthy. I even went to work with a broken leg. Shop, cook, wash dishes. Put the laundry away. Feed the child. And he turns around and says in my eyes that I was a mold. Only her mother watched her! Her father is now 67 and barely able to walk. He drinks. And he was a mold. Nothing happened to us. Because with BGN 800. I can't afford more. Her mother gives her BGN 150-200 per month and we pay the bills with them. "-Mother and she supported us"! Run friend! There are no fixes with such. With a crooked tree and a stubborn man, you can't straighten them. You are young, looking for a person who will help and support you. Grandpa Tosho
Better part with this league.
It's like reading about my wife. At the slightest argument, I hear the words, "I'll call my mother," "I'll call your mother." Mentally unstable, he does not know what he wants from life, but the connection with his mother at the slightest thing is always there. Because of her, there is tension between me and her family. She complained about me to all her friends. As long as I stand and preserve her dignity in relation to all artificially created scandals, states of mind and character. Her father would come to deal with me in a few days, but when I saw him he hugged me and kissed me. Methods of crushing and manipulating are this. Someone above wrote that this is how he looks for allies - YES, that's right. Being mentally unstable, a person does such things. Gather an army of units, which at a convenient moment to use against you - so you can not live in peace and develop as a person. I'm sorry for you and for me. That's how life is.
Things were similar for me, my parents watched over me like eagles, I am a child, they interfered in everything. My friend, also a ram (I am a lion) was not pleasant to them at all, they did not even want him to come to visit houses, scandals and problems. I was younger than your girlfriend, but we didn't break up, I didn't listen to anyone. I am now married to him, we have two children and we love each other maybe more than before. My thought is that if you love someone, you stand by them and fight life with them. He is your family now, mom and dad you can love them, but not to report to them and give you a tone. If at 25 she doesn't understand it and is dependent on them, there is no chance for her to change. If the children come and it will be even harder, the grandmothers will interfere, they will help and supposedly for good. I realize you love her, but you don't have good days with her. She seeks to dominate and seeks help from your parents, you can't fight difficulties alone, you can't rely on such a person. This is my opinion, of course, the decision is yours. Success!
I'm a girl and I've had a pretty long relationship with a cancer boy. My advice is to run while it's time, because I see you are not compatible with each other in any way, you will always be crooked and it will drive you crazy. You certainly deserve so much more!