Are you afraid of too beautiful women? Today I realized that I am afraid! I am a man of 29. I'm not a kid, I've had a lot of relationships and I usually know how a man should behave with a woman, but this one is just not "ordinary"! She is extremely beautiful. Of these women we all look up to when we meet them on the street. This is not all. She has a prestigious profession and is financially independent. She is also experienced and extremely smart. He always knows exactly what to say and how to behave in the specific situation. I'm a little more ordinary. I play sports and look good for my age. I have an apartment, a car, and a decent job that allows me to meet my needs and travel and explore new places from time to time, but I don't look like Brother Pitt, nor can I spend money like him. I met her 3 weeks ago.
We liked it. Among other things, she really knows how to have fun. Not one night with her was calm or boring. She has recently been separated from her ex-boyfriend (much better financially secure than me) and apparently wants to make up for missed entertainment. We haven't been intimate yet. Most of the time we went out with mutual acquaintances. In fact, I didn't expect her to pay attention to me. Of course, do it discreetly and unobtrusively. A few non-committal compliments to me (usually I do compliments when talking to a woman). A few inviting smiles and a pinch of charm and innocence radiated by a young and beautiful woman (she is 27 years old). This was the recipe to make me fall in love as a student. This is where the problem begins. I really don't know how to deal with her. It's like playing chess with Veselin Topalov. She always sees the situation at least 2 moves in front of me. When she says something nice, I just cast myself and I don't know how to answer her.
When she's funny and playful, I try to add a compliment to the conversation that doesn't look right at all! No matter how experienced you are, you are always worried when you talk to someone you really like. Late last night we were coming home from a club. We were walking on "Vitoshka" and it was full of drunken people going or returning from a disco. I was with her and her friend. She had been drinking a little more and was telling a funny story to her friend. I was tired and just watching the people around me. There was hardly a man all along the street who did not look at them. On three occasions, companies of drunken men tossed something to them or invited them to drink with them, even though I was obviously accompanying them. The girls with me, of course, enjoyed the attention, but they did not provoke or encourage him in any special way. It's happened to me before that someone looks at my boyfriend or even talks to her, but it wasn't every day.
When I got home I couldn't sleep. I remembered my ex. At that time I had problems in the office and I was terribly nervous. We often fought with and without a reason. Sometimes in the morning, we both went to work after another unexplained scandal. I imagined the new girl in her place. How we fight for nonsense and then go out separately. How at least five men take her down every day in the office in the trolley or on the street. How I work late and after I come back from work I'm too tired to pay enough attention to it.
And how every day she meets many men ready to give her the attention she needs, at least in the beginning. Of course, there is still no connection between us. I'm not even sure what exactly she wants from me, but I don't know if I want to dig deeper. I'm not jealous, but isn't it too annoying for 80% of the men around to want your girlfriend? What do you think? Isn't it better for your potential future partner to be cute, but not too beautiful?
Answers 14
I would try, you lose nothing. Then don't be angry, you better act on time, it won't be long, you know! Now or never, run in and how do you know - New Year, new luck, new boyfriend;)
Act really. You have to try, that's why you're a man. You always have to try, because otherwise you can only regret it. Like me. Years ago I was introduced to a woman ... so beautiful, so tender, so kind and beautiful. Every time I looked at her, I shivered. I didn't dare touch her, I somehow had the feeling that if I touched her I would ruin her, she was so tender and delicate. If I've ever been afraid of beauty - then it was. Then no one else. I was dizzy, so confused and ... I didn't do anything. I didn't even try. Fool, you fucking fool! Years have passed and now I don't know where she is and who she is with. She is hardly alone, such a woman cannot be left alone. And I'm dying of anger at myself. It is true that a man regrets most of all the woman he has never had. The feeling is awful, but there is no going back. So try it, man, otherwise you will regret it for a long time. Success!
You are not afraid of beautiful women. You are afraid that such a woman will never go unnoticed and without male attention - and other men do not sleep. I can even feel a hint of jealousy in your words right now, before you had anything to do with each other. Typically masculine - I can stare and take down other women, but no one can watch and take off mine. Drop these Balkan complexes and dare with the girl. It will probably be a beautiful story for both of you. But if you don't act because of these stupid arguments you've made, you'll never know what could have happened and what you missed.
Excuse me, but I think you are indecently in love :) Precisely because you are in love, you are ready to idealize her. The latter has killed more men than you can imagine. It is not my job, but I would dispute much of what you have written from there and you will have many problems. First you are in love with her because of the vision itself, not the character (for a 29-year-old man, you should have sifted things). You are in love with the fact that she has chosen you to be together in some way, and at the same time everyone loves her. Not bad, but it seems to me that scratching your selfishness has a price. Secondly, I don't think from what you've described she's smart or the other things she mentioned. She looks more like an injured woman who can't stay alone because of the pain she's in. If she was so smart and wanted you, I would hardly tell you about my ex-boyfriend and I would hardly look for another so quickly. probably really wants to find another to replace these bad emotions, but another is the question that this will not happen, namely it is a problem of many beautiful women, thinking that they can have anyone at any time, believing that their pain should not be experienced, but to fly to someone new. Of course, the choice is yours, get involved in the game, but my personal opinion is that she will treat you like that until her ex seeks her (if she is not seen with him at the moment) or until she decides to calm down, then you will not be needed. I wrote the last one in connection with the incident in which she and her friend were walking, and you were a gadget, almost because you didn't talk and you were there only because she doesn't want to be alone among people. Vanity and stupidity have ruined many men and women. Good luck though, they say that personal experience cannot be replaced by any sincere instruction.
As you were told above, you should always give it a try. BUT, don't do it blindly, try it wisely, as they say. You must have suffered enough in 29 years. At least I am and I am just that. Act boldly, but don't lose your mind !!!
.... and you are "indecently" insecure .... or as you call yourself "ordinary" ... ZARA
Boy, don't waste your time with thoughts - people have said: While the smart one thinks - the crazy one goes crazy. Now is the time - ACT !!!
I have a similar problem, but I am much younger than you and this is my advantage. Think carefully about whether you are in love with this girl or you are in love with the idea that you can love the girl. I was on both sides of the river. I sank both times because I didn't fully clarify the issue. Everyone wants to sleep with beautiful girls, but not everyone can love just because of the physical beauty itself. Good luck ;)
I fully support the opinion of 4. Do not rush to take down her stars, because she may not feel the same way about you. 3 weeks is too little time to love someone. You're sunk, that's clear. But you will make a big mistake if you tell her it's too early. Give her a chance to feel the same way about you, and when you feel something from her, just talk to her about it. Good luck :)
From the Author: Thank you to all of you who commented. I see that the story has aroused interest and that makes me happy. Most of you advise me to give it a try and this is definitely the only right solution. I have to be crazy to miss such an opportunity, even if it's just sex. Even if the chances are small. It is clear. Of course, I will do my best to be with this girl. As you have noticed, and I have written in the topic, I am quite sunken. This puts me in an extremely disadvantageous position. I have already invested emotions, and on the other hand there is sympathy at best. It's really not normal to fall in love so fast at my age. I laugh I'm surprised by myself and I didn't want that to happen. That's exactly the problem, if I wasn't in love I would just have fun with her, instead, I am tormented by thoughts of a hypothetical relationship. I have not experienced such feelings for a long time and I even hoped that I would never experience them again. (I distinguish between love and falling in love) In fact, what makes me reserved is my desire to protect myself from possible disappointment. That is, it both itches and hurts. I also want to answer some of you and make some clarifications. Number 3. I don't know if it's jealousy. It's my observation that only makes me more reserved about her. I do not deny the right to be liked. I just don't want to be in constant competition with all the other men around me. If this is really the price to be with her, then I am a pass. "Typically masculine - I can look at and take down other women, but no one can watch and take off mine." I haven't said anything about taking down other women on my part. As for the Balkan complexes. I am a Bulgarian, respectively I am a Balkan man and I have not noticed that we are worse than the other men in Europe. Of course, every herd has a carcass, but to evaluate men from all over the peninsula in this way is a stereotype. I lived in Germany for a while and I got into meat scandals several times because someone allowed themselves to define Bulgarian women as light women. Number 4. Nice comment. I don't agree with this "First you are in love with her because of the vision itself, not the character" I don't know why you thought so. I meet beautiful women everywhere every day and I don't fall in love with all of them. "She and her friend were walking, and you were a gadget, To consider myself ordinary and normal. Why exactly did he join? Just to hurt me in some way? I really wonder what men have done so much to make you so. To consider myself ordinary and normal. Why exactly did he join? Just to hurt me in some way? I really wonder what men have done so much to make you so.
4 you wrote it in general. If you can, follow my motto "* don't ask", although you seem very naive to me and you will hardly succeed. On the other hand, really, as 4 told you, if she suffered from her ex, now she will need some soft Plasmodium who will quietly fulfill all her whims to get rid of previous fictions. And my opinion is that a modern straw. I know it doesn't sound illogical, but I've noticed that many beautiful women have a low tolerance threshold and usually can't cope with their strongest loves, as if they can't swallow the pain that goes hand in hand with the strong. feelings and love. That's why he can tell you about a long-term relationship, because he won't feel anything strong for a man who doesn't have self-confidence and writes like a characterless puberty. M42
Well, it's annoying, but when you say they don't care, don't panic so much. It would be more annoying if she dated 80% of the men who stand in her way, right? :-)
.... to the author; I have no doubt that you are interested ... and not everyone is interested ... and yet; be confident and aggressive, even if you are terribly '' ordinary and normal '' ZARA
Author, № 3 am. I didn't want it to sound like a stereotypical concept. I used the term * Balkan complexes * because most of our men show a disgusting sense of ownership in their own wives, but they think they deserve others. Now for the * constant competition * - what would stop you if you were sure that she stopped and clung to you? Or would the very fact that other men pay attention to her irritate you? I think it's the second. And one more thing, a little off topic, but I'll use the phrase - if you want a woman to be interested in you and be just yours, you don't have to stop competing. I mean, remember what it was like in the beginning and how you won it once, then forget it all, thinking it takes no more effort, and then wonder why she showed interest in another man.