Hello, I have been thinking for a long time whether to share my story ... It continues today ... I have been married for 16 years and we have two wonderful children ... I thought I was happy to have the blessing to have a home and family, understanding and love . Loved and I reciprocated the love, I gave my best, everything ... I even gave my soul. He broke everything ... dreams, love, trust, faith, life, everything ... It all started last fall, with the arrival of his new colleague and fell in love with her ... His impudence was so great that he used me as a friend to share it with me. It's one thing to cheat, it's quite another to share your feelings and desires for another woman ... It's awful. It's humiliating for me ... When I told him what I thought. The nightmare began. Insults, humiliations no matter where we are, at home, visiting friends, colleagues. What did i experience I only know what words I heard about myself and how I experienced it ... And the worst thing is that I started to treat the children in the same way, it hurts me the most. When I wanted to talk, he just went out ... All this remained unclear ... He came home one night and told me that things were getting out of hand. That he would go abroad to save our marriage. He wanted me to wait for him ... He fixed his documents in a month and left. And when he was gone, many more lies and truths came to light ... I am alone with many questions. I can't talk about feelings for him, there are just no such feelings. Before he closed the door, he repeated to me that he wanted me to wait for him ... I am his wife. He made fun of me until the end ... When he returns to the door, he will be greeted by a woman with an empty look and a piece of ice in her chest, instead of a heart ... From there to where I do not know. Do children bother me? I know that sooner or later they will go their own way. I don't want to hurt them or confuse them with my decisions. Now they are the whole world I have, they are the meaning, the air, the sun and my life ... Should I close the page of family life? Or should I continue to write in it in the name of the children? ...
Answers 11
Hi darling, I'm reading and I'm wondering if a friend is telling my story. I understand you very well and I would like if I could give you courage and moral support. I experienced something similar 5 years ago. My husband fell in love with his colleague, he started telling me what she looked like, how big her breasts were, how small her waist was ..... I don't know why I put up with all this, as people say "inexplicable love". She told me after a while that she was going to work abroad because of us, because of me and the children, in order to forget her and save our marriage ..... In fact, she did not go abroad but went to live with her .... More happened many things, but I need a lot of time to tell. I made a decision and ended my marriage. I do not advise you to do this, nor to stay and wait for it. It's hard to be alone. Life is very hard and a woman with 2 children alone is a big burden, but calmness and the fact that no one humiliates or insults me are very important to me. Make sure he is really abroad / is he calling you, is he supporting you financially, is he looking for the children /. If you don't do this and you think you can do it yourself, do it. Live the way you play best. If you want, write me an e-mail [email protected]
Close the page of family life !!! DON'T WORRY ANYMORE !!! The more you think, the worse it is for you. Take care of your health, because it is the most important thing. And you will harm yourself with these worries. Look for your way. The children take the road and that's it. If he's wrong, even if he comes back to you, it can happen again. Will you always be tormented and forgiven like that - a vicious circle. You are still young. If you decide to separate, it will not be easy for you, arm yourself with patience, time heals, they say. SUCCESS!
It says a woman with an unhappy marriage. It is very difficult to give advice. The situation is always specific. In your place / depends on how old the children are and whether they support you from abroad /. If they are small and send money, I would prefer to stay there for years until the children grow up. In my heart I would say "end" and I would look for another. He doesn't judge him for his "colleague" - he obviously loves her. Love is from God and cannot be controlled. It's important for children to feel good and think for themselves, not to freak out that they don't love you. I tell you from experience - I have a lover who loves me very much, was with me and my son on vacation, sleeping elsewhere. He behaved better than the child's father. He also will not abandon his wife, and so we all struggle. Men also have a great sense of responsibility - don't confuse it with love. Forgive him in your heart and you will calm down. There is always a solution. Good luck!!!
Very sad situation but I don't think you should continue to live like this with this freak. Even if you do it in the imitation of your children, don't you think that sooner or later they will see the pain in your eyes. Do you think that with this deep pain you will be able to give yourself 100% with your children. Don't you think that one day they would feel guilty that their mother sacrificed herself to be unhappy all her life in order to provide them with a fictional close-knit family. I am also in a similar story, even it is written here / I can't forget it / and I'm not as happy as I imagined, but the problem with me is that when we talk about separation, I was blown away by a fight. So I don't have a chance to be happy, but if you don't have this problem, leave it and move on. You will meet the man you have been waiting for all your life, I'm sure. I wish you success, I hope I helped you.
No sense in telling you now - I don't wanna ruin the suprise. Send a request and he will be summoned to a state newspaper and if he does not appear he will divorce you. So the children will not understand anything, and then let him know that you are already divorced so that he does not go home. But on the other hand, you need to gradually explain the habit to the children so that they do not fall into shock from what is happening. Attempting to protect them, I kept silent and said nothing to them, and mine insulted me and even cursed in front of them. They got confused when I wanted a divorce, because so far I have not shown anything that his behavior is abnormal. There were a lot of unpleasant things from my choice, such as not going to school, exams, etc. At times they even stand against me, I still don't have an official divorce - it has been going on for a year now and my agony is complete, so I tell you to file a petition and if he doesn't show up he will divorce you quickly.
Run away. That's one of the reasons I got divorced. Familiar situation. My ex-husband also shared everything with me as a best friend.
Hello dear. I am very sad that you are suffering so much. Both options are bad, but you have to choose, think hard! My mother also tolerated my father for us, but that didn't stop us from growing up with the feeling that we didn't have a father! Children feel these things. If the children suffer again, it will take a long time to understand why this happened, but ........ they rarely turn out to be strong. Most children of divorced parents are also low self-esteem, depressed, become drug addicts, do not care about anything, in short, despair of life. In both cases the result is the same. There are very rare cases in which this does not happen, I do not know what is due and I hope you have a good ending. Think, if you have a place to go and support yourself, dump it, I can't believe it's okay. Good luck!!!
Hello dear, this man will not return, or at least not soon. He has a lot to think about. Now he decides whether you have been his wife or just a friend all this time. I understand that you are very confused, and I admire you terribly for your courage and your sacrifice in the name of the children! However, I guarantee you that your husband is no longer the person you once loved. I wish you health and luck!!!
Why are you waiting and I was waiting like that and what happened, my life was spent in lies. Including this one - in the name of the children. I chose my own path, and now he is looking for us, but it is too late. I know what it's like to be alone among many people. Run while you still have time!
It was many years ago when my husband cheated on me. And he, like your dear, decided to share about the meetings with the colleague. I was devastated. At first I didn't seem to believe what he was telling me. It was almost a year after I already knew about the other woman, and he decided that in my presence he could call her and go to her. He went out and went to them. Just do it. I cried, I blamed myself. Didn't I do my best to take care of his children? It hurt a lot. There were no scandals or quarrels. I just stood there and suffered. Abe was just sick of grief. for a moment he felt it. He even changed his job. Things are over. It hasn't occurred to him since then to cheat on me.
What do you have to wait for, baby? To become 60 years old? Who will look at you then? Get a divorce, look after your children and find someone who will love and appreciate you! There are still decent men! And when the children grow up, they will understand you and tell you that you were right to do so! Success!