I am 37 years old, I could not find a woman who is not married, but I found a widow, I thought about creating a generation and a colleague of mine introduced me to her. She has two sons, one of whom is 6 and the other is 10, she is 35 years old. We meet 1-2 times a month, last summer we went on vacation .... but I'm not so in love with her she promised to give birth to my child and she wants a daughter is God's work .. otherwise sex with her is not so fascinating for this purpose I have a mistress but she is married with her sex is supreme for 5-6 years we meet twice a week, but so to continue I thought about whether to start a family with this widow ... I'm afraid I'll have headaches with the children and it's a big responsibility to support two more children, and my apartment is small for that ...she really wants us to get together but does she want a husband for her children and stability because I have a big salary ... I can't decide how you would advise me ....
Answers 37
Under no circumstances should you start a family with a woman you do not love and DO NOT LOVE. You felt it yourself ... The woman is just looking for a man who? help materially with raising children? I understand her very well as a woman and a mother, but for you the deal is, to put it mildly, unprofitable. Trust your intuition - not by chance and sex is not good. You both don't love each other and marriage would be just a farce and a marriage of convenience. You will keep your mistress, and this woman will pretend not to notice, but she will make your life hell at home - she will set children against you, maybe, etc. Everyone deserves more. You are in a better position. As a man, you can have children at 50, where are you in a hurry? You also have a wife for sex ... there's no point in starting a family with this woman. Look for a woman to love and LOVE YOU, with whom to feel the thrill, to feel her as a soul mate. Anyone else can give birth to a child - give 1000 BGN to a Roma woman and 5 children will give birth to you. You need a partner in life, someone for old age, and if there is no love and affection, but only the bill .... sooner or later the marriage falls apart at the first problems that were not thought of when concluding a deal. What happens if the widow in question fails to have a child? What if the child is a boy and not the girl she wants? What happens if you lose your well-paid job ??? What if they don't accept her children? No, just forget .... You deserve more than one pro forma family. Wait, there's your wife out there who's just as lonely as you right now, looking for love. Do not give up! You need a partner in life, someone for old age, and if there is no love and affection, but only the bill .... sooner or later the marriage falls apart at the first problems that were not thought of when concluding a deal. What happens if the widow in question fails to have a child? What if the child is a boy and not the girl she wants? What happens if you lose your well-paid job ??? What if they don't accept her children? No, just forget .... You deserve more than one pro forma family. Wait, there's your wife out there who's just as lonely as you right now, looking for love. Do not give up! You need a partner in life, someone for old age, and if there is no love and affection, but only the bill .... sooner or later the marriage falls apart at the first problems that were not thought of when concluding a deal. What happens if the widow in question fails to have a child? What if the child is a boy and not the girl she wants? What happens if you lose your well-paid job ??? What if they don't accept her children? No, just forget .... You deserve more than one pro forma family. Wait, there's your wife out there who's just as lonely as you right now, looking for love. Do not give up! if the widow in question fails to have a child? What if the child is a boy and not the girl she wants? What happens if you lose your well-paid job ??? What if they don't accept her children? No, just forget .... You deserve more than one pro forma family. Wait, there's your wife out there who's just as lonely as you right now, looking for love. Do not give up! if the widow in question fails to have a child? What if the child is a boy and not the girl she wants? What happens if you lose your well-paid job ??? What if they don't accept her children? No, just forget .... You deserve more than one pro forma family. Wait, there's your wife out there who's just as lonely as you right now, looking for love. Do not give up!
Do not burden the woman with yourself and your own selfishness. Most likely, she will bet a lot on this relationship and will have high expectations. I'm not disappointed. No sense, life and slapped enough. It is enough that she has to take care of her 2 children to take care of a selfish person like you. Hold your mistress and look for someone else. If there is justice, you will fall for a young, cocky and mercantile bitch who will show you where you belong.
I would advise you not to get married and have children just because you have to. Answer the question why do you want to start a family? Why do you have a child? And if the answer is different from "I can't live without her, I love her so much" by no means start a family with her. For a 37-year-old man who has lived alone so far, it is difficult for even a woman to enter his house, touch and move things, and what are these two children guilty of? They will touch, break, move, make noise. They are not things you can leave in the corner. To live with them, you have to love their mother so much that you are ready for anything because of her. I hope you listen to me and don't make the mistake of starting a family because you had to have a child of your own. Do you really need a child? Why for what?
It's like you're going to make a trade deal ... What if you like the woman, if you're comfortable with her - get together! You will do good for many people, including yourself. She is not so afraid of her sons - do you know what it is like for a baby to roar on your head around the clock?!? Growing children are a GIFT of GOD! Well, your obligations will increase, but what do you want - just rights without obligations? If you are afraid of this and will grumble later - you better stay alone and do not confuse people's lives! It is quite natural for a parent (and especially a mother) to want and seek stability for their children ... you what - don't you want for yours? And love ... keep it, if it is vital to you, but you better orient yourself to the end ... after all, life is not only (supreme) sex and pleasures ... On the other hand, in family life you will find joys and satisfaction that you would not otherwise be able to experience. One of them is that you have realized yourself as a person, a man, a parent and a husband - it is not a small thing, let me tell you ... some losers also fail. Head up and act! Family and parenting are far from the hardships most inexperienced people imagine. And remember - a person must complete a stage in his life (such as choosing a partner) to continue his development. Otherwise, he remains somewhat infantile in this regard. Family and parenting are far from the hardships most inexperienced people imagine. And remember - a person must complete a stage in his life (such as choosing a partner) to continue his development. Otherwise, he remains somewhat infantile in this regard. Family and parenting are far from the hardships most inexperienced people imagine. And remember - a person must complete a stage in his life (such as choosing a partner) to continue his development. Otherwise, he remains somewhat infantile in this regard.
Bills, bills ... if you start thinking that much, the answer is NO.
Great - so you have a mistress with whom you see very regularly, but you wondered if the widow is not with you because of your high salary! So why not? And you, given that you are acting absolutely dishonestly with her from now on and intend to continue like this, with what right will you condemn her? Make her a deal-she-domestic helper, maybe without sex, you-piggy bank, again without sex and things will be clean and clear! Such relations are absolutely unacceptable and meaningless for me. In this line of thought it is better to separate. However, if for both of you emotions are something imaginary, and pragmatic decisions are the meaning and basis for coexistence, you have no problem. But it should be clear to both of you what you are doing together. So it is honest and fair.
Number 4, I don't agree with you. You talk as if having a healthy family is the easiest thing in life. On the contrary - this is the most difficult and anyone who sees marriage and family as a kind of deal ends up divorced. The basis of the family is love, affection, respect. The benefit may be good in business relationships, but it is a time bomb for family life. My husband is very intelligent. He even has a professorship, has succeeded in business, work, career, and also failed in his first marriage. It's not that simple. Being with someone for life, looking after your children with them, building your life with them is not easy. There is no ready-made formula, but one thing is necessary - love and respect. The author neither loves the woman in question nor respects her (he goes with his mistress). What's worse is that the widow hardly loves him either. She is just looking for someone with a good salary and a quiet life. The bad thing is that such relationships always end badly. No one can be happy without love. In the beginning she will be patient because the woman will make many compromises for the sake of her children and simply because the memory of being alone will be fresh, but over time she will begin to emancipate herself and become uncomfortable with the author. If they have children, he will be a hostage of this relationship for life. Is it worth? What if he meets the love of 40 years to say? Will a mistress hold on again? What if he wants children and a family with this woman, because it's natural to want that when you love? What are we doing? for the memory of being alone will be fresh, but in time it will begin to emancipate itself and become uncomfortable for the author. If they have children, he will be a hostage of this relationship for life. Is it worth? What if he meets the love of 40 years to say? Will a mistress hold on again? What if he wants children and a family with this woman, because it's natural to want that when you love? What are we doing? for the memory of being alone will be fresh, but in time it will begin to emancipate itself and become uncomfortable for the author. If they have children, he will be hostage to this relationship for life. Is it worth? What if he meets the love of 40 years to say? Will a mistress hold on again? What if he wants children and a family with this woman, because it's natural to want that when you love? What are we doing?
you are not for this woman, she needs a real man to love her, not one who has a mistress from now on, and look at 37, a bachelor, so other things are lame :(
Oh, mamoooooooooo! And that was my husband! He does not know what he wants, but he inspires hope in the woman, separately he even caught a mistress. I have no words! She would be better off without a man than with a man like you.
If you don't love her, and don't cheat! It's not worth hurting each other. You will find your happiness elsewhere. Mika
To be left alone at the age of 37 means that you are not suitable for a family. You wrote great idiocy. Spare the woman and the children and get out of their lives. If I'm a woman, I won't look at you
Hello, Author! Life is a deal, marriage too - but here it is not your deal! In principle, there is no better relationship and broken marriage - when it is a contract! You are at a disadvantage here !!! I'm sorry to say that, but it's true! You are a profitable party and you will find the right one for yourself - whether it is mercantile or not it is a matter of upbringing, but look for it as for you - to love it - you too! The grandmothers did not say in vain - to be from one rug!
you don't need a woman with children, are you crazy, run away, these lonely women are looking for someone to look after their children, there is no love here, believe me everything is interest, single mothers are a big problem, you are not old at 37 you can catch 28 -30 years old did not give birth
Yes, the 28-30-year-old unborn will kill themselves for an old bachelor at the age of 37, who doesn't know what he wants and, just in case, catches his mistress before he even finds out.
Number 15 is very right, but I as a woman in my late 30s have no problem with men over 35 - on the contrary. Men mature later. It is better for people like the author to look among women without children. If I were a widow otherwise with two small children, maybe I would look for a similar man. It is a terrible misfortune - another question is that the deal is unlikely to be profitable for the man. Such women are looking to give birth to 1 child in order to bind him and the person in question will feed hers for life. If I were a man without children, I would look for such a woman. If I were a man with children - I would look for a woman with children, because she will have experience and will watch my children's league. But if I were a woman with children, I would make sure that the man did not have his children, so that there would be enough resources for mine and ours. Look - here women are more pragmatic than men. That's why as a woman I tell the author - the widow is with you of interest, dear. You're a big fool, you know! I'm sure she knows about your passions and I'm sure she doesn't? napping.
It depends on which bell tower you look at. If you are a single mother with a child, if you are very close in such a situation, whether you like it or not, you will adjust your receptors so that it will seem quite normal. Moreover, the world has become such that it is much easier to meet girls in their 20s with children in their arms than it is to meet those without them. Not to mention older age. I think that if you do not have a child, it would be foolish to take such a woman, as you have already been told above. The scenario is almost always the same. From the beginning they are very good, they allow liberties, because at the moment they are alone and build a complex for disadvantage compared to other childless peers. After a while, if things get worse, the above is forgotten and they start to happen lightly. I've even noticed that such women have far greater demands than a man, than those without children. Such a woman in most cases has no income, or if there is, they are so measly that they do not have enough for anything. Given this, she will want you not to swallow in the first place. even if he doesn't like you outwardly, he will tell you a big yes about your child's cause. But after another year, if she really doesn't love you and you don't attract her, then she will run away like no other. Thank you for helping your child, for example, you will not see, they will even want you to not be a complete parent, despite the fact that you will help according to your abilities. It turns out that in order to have a normal marriage with such a woman, you have to like her, to be interesting and unpredictable enough to keep the thrill of the obligatory good financial condition, because without it you will be played no matter how much the child likes you. So do an experiment, say kinty yok and you have to return some money. Complain and you don't know what to do next and play it hidden lemon. If it lasts you a year or two like that, then it sticks to you, if not, I think you understand, although usually after this conversation, it will catch you not picking up your phone, because it works a lot. In this irresponsible world, you can hardly trust a partner, I know it sounds very extreme, but that is the reality. Trust ahead is no longer given, it must be earned. but such is the reality. Trust ahead is no longer given, it must be earned. but such is the reality. Trust ahead is no longer given, it must be earned.
I wonder why you all think a woman uses it. He may use it. Nobody can know that. For the record, I am a 27-year-old single mother with a 4-year-old daughter. I work and support my child as best I can. There have been cases when I sent her sick and with a garden fever. Just so I don't lose my job. I work for a ridiculous salary, as well as for the majority of the Bulgarian people. I didn't rush to commit at all. I even prefer a man with a child or children, rather than one without children. At the moment, a boy a year younger than me wants us to live together. He perceives my daughter, or so he introduces himself. However, I hesitate. It never occurred to me to find someone just to support me and the child. Even more to tolerate some unsympathetic individual just to be well materially.
Namely 18, you hesitate, this is the only thing in your post that speaks for everyone like you, of course without affecting. He was a year younger than you, he wanted to live together, so you're kind of boyfriends, probably not from yesterday. The boy accepts you as you are, but that's not enough for you and you hesitate. It is clear that if you do, then you will not be with this person anyway. It's a whole other question why you're a single mother, probably because you're hesitant again. You are already 27, unfortunately you describe things hyper simply, as if you were sitting on a chat with your friends.
18, a hug from me for the strength you are fighting. Regarding your question why everyone thinks she used it - because a large part of Bulgarian men imagine that a single mother can not cope alone and is looking for a man only for the sole purpose of using his money. For them, a single mother is a beaten card that no one will look at anymore, and their idiotic arguments are that she is struggling to find a scumbag to have sex with her and look after her children. Because there was no one to look at her anymore. Limited and stupid thinking, but unfortunately this is their attitude and mentality. The big joke is that while guarding against a single mother not using them to look after her children, at the same time those free women, without children, tell them the game in every way and end up throwing them away as unnecessary things. Wise, what to do.
From 18 to №19. I hesitate because he is a foreigner. He feels good in the country where he works. He doesn't want to go to BG. I am also not firmly convinced that I want to settle abroad at the moment. A small child is difficult. Here I have a built life, work, habits, profession. In addition, I have old people in my family who are deteriorating day by day with their health. I have to take care of them in the future. These are the reasons that are stopping me for now. Being a single mother is for completely different reasons. I wasn't hesitant then.
I made that mistake. The biggest mistake of my life. I'm 37 too. I lived with a woman with a child (a 5-year-old boy at the time). I tried everything to get along with her child, really everything. It didn't work out, how much nerves and money I spent is not true. We had a baby and it didn't happen because of her kid. Whatever I tell him, the answer is you're not my father. And I didn't want to be his father, just to have a friendly relationship. I will not go into details (the topic is huge). To date, we are not together. I take my child on Saturdays and Sundays. I stayed with half my capital in the company and I LEARNED MY LESSON. I don't know the woman you want to be engaged to, but if I meet a single mother with a child, I will run at 300 kilometers per hour without turning around. Success!
19 to 18 You still don't understand. So your child's father wasn't sure, neither was this one, but what they have in common is that you both chose them. And now, after all that has been said, let me ask you ... do you have any idea how these actions of yours affect your child? He was the former, now another, and the child has to get used to each of them, then forget them, and thousands of questions arise in his head. This portends many gaps in this child. What if tomorrow you start to break up with this one, then you meet a new one ... don't you think that child is made of iron? The only positive thing is that at least you are trying to cope on your own, because many single mothers rely mainly on their parents and usually pass this irresponsibility on to their children, as well as what has already been listed.
№19, Come on, don't analyze my life, huh? Read before you write. The man wants to live with me, but I don't want to. I listed the reasons in a previous post. And I wonder why you think that when I have a child I shouldn't date men? What? I would only introduce a man to my child if I saw that he had more serious intentions. I'm not the type of woman who fucks one in the evening and takes him to her child in the morning and says, "Mommy, this is Uncle Vanyo," for example. And in a week to introduce my child to Uncle Pesho, etc.
№ 19, join. I don't know if you're a man or a woman - it's more likely the former. As a mother, I understand her very well № 18 - her child is small, her instinct is to protect him first. From my point of view and considering the world around us full of all kinds of freaks and oligophrenics / alas! /, I would never allow another man to live and be left alone with my tiny child, who can easily threaten and manipulate ... To remain a single parent, I also do not accept that it is irresponsible - it would be irresponsible to leave your child to his father and to live his life. It is clear that she gave birth young, but she took responsibility for the child - consider whether from the age of 21 she has the opportunity for discos, restaurants, movies, hairstyles, etc. She chose to be a mother and deserves respect, not sucked out of the fingers psycho analyzes by strangers. To the author: don't, you don't love her. As everyday life falls on your already not very meaningful relationship, you will be unhappy. You would be unhappy even if you didn't have children by the way.
From 19 to 18/24. I am writing to you last because you obviously do not take a drop of what I have written. You say that someone wants to live with you, but you don't want to. You also claim that you are not sure about it, then the question arises why, if you are not sure, did you introduce your child to him? The answer is simple and straightforward. You did it because you wanted to combine your free time with both at the same time so that neither of them would be offended. It turns out that you are looking for fun, you have decided so, so you do. But I told you, tomorrow you will lose this one and with the other one it will be the same again, until the moment when your child becomes a teenager and with all this mess in his head he will make unearthly nonsense and then you will not be able to tell him anything. and at least I won't listen to you, because this child may be small, but it is not foolish to see his mother mandate with this and that. With what eyes and respect will you tell him not to do something when you can't stop yourself? And it's not that complicated to analyze a life like yours, the question is when you decided to become a mother, why do you think you can do whatever you want? Actually, I'm telling you this as advice, because in front of my eyes many people like you hit the same wall, fell and got up and always wonder why life is not good with them.
I am 18 and 24 to 19. The person in question has seen my child twice. While we were together for 3 hours, I never allowed myself to be close to my child like kisses and more. I have already explained that I am hesitant to live with him because he lives and works in another country. That alone stops me. He doesn't want to come here and I understand. This person is the first one I introduce to my child. So if you don't know anything about my life, don't talk. My daughter is 4 years old. Ever since she was born, I have had a relationship with each other and with the person in question. If this at the moment ours can be called a connection. Safe from moralists.
Never think that you will "create" something with strangers. Start a family with a girl to give birth to your children.
I advise you not to commit to it, in any case not to have a child, not because your apartment is small or something ... something related to you seems to have said ... And because you yourself say that you are not so in love with her and that even sex with her does not please you so much. Such relations simply do not make sense - at least in my opinion. And always people like you who get into such a relationship with another person have been super weird to me and kind of pathetic, sorry dude. My advice is to LEAVE HER so that this widow can try to find a person who will really care only for her! I don't think any woman deserves to be used like that, ESPECIALLY A WIDOW!
I am 23 and I got engaged to a woman who has four children at the age of 42, I want to get married but she is still pulling. and I fall in love with older women. I hope everything goes well
number 33 Where did the 42-year-old find her?
I advise the author to marry the widow. It is more than clear that he cares a lot about his mistress. If he marries a widow, she will close her eyes to his second relationship, and an unmarried girl will not. It was inzata that the author turned to the single mother, not to the girl, in order to keep the mistress. If he intends to drive her like this in the future, it is better to marry the widow. She will forgive him for the parallel relationship as soon as he takes care of the children. To n. 18- thank you for doing it alone, I wish you a lot of happiness!
4, great nonsense, every gypsy can be realized as a man, parent, husband, great joy and satisfaction. You are unlucky if you don't have an education, a career, you can't make money, the rest everyone can do. Some, like this, can't realize themselves as "parents", but sometimes a child can't stand it.
By no means do you think you are old enough to find a single woman! Your age is great for a man. Don't waste time and energy on strangers. I am a woman.
I also think that there is no point in committing to a woman you don't love and with whom you yourself say that sex is not good either, just so that you are not officially alone. There are too many complications, there is no point in doing something just because of people's opinion. I understand that you want to be married like the others and that is why you are ready for a big compromise. However, people will always find something to talk you into and stand in front of you, you can't please everyone. With this woman and sons, however, you will have to live under one roof, not the people. Meetings twice a month mean that you have no idea what your cohabitation would be like - you may not fit in at all, let alone add two foreign children to the picture. The woman is obviously serious and it is certainly not easy for her with two children - but what is the point of a relationship without feelings for both of you, as long as you are not alone? Author, you deserve to be happy with the woman you really want. Apparently you found one in the face of your mistress, after seeing each other for so long. Have you not reconciled that once she is married, you will not find another like her and if she is not her, you think that it does not matter who she will be .... do not close the doors yourself - at a wonderful age to create a you are a family, especially since you are independent and you know what you want. There are so many beautiful unmarried women. Your life is still ahead of you - you deserve to spend it with someone with whom you will be really happy. Number 37 is absolutely right. He does not compromise with his happiness. you will not find another like her and as she will not be, you think that it does not matter who she will be .... do not close the doors yourself - at a wonderful age to start a family, especially since you are independent and you know what want. There are so many beautiful unmarried women. Your life is still ahead of you - you deserve to spend it with someone with whom you will be really happy. Number 37 is absolutely right. He does not compromise with his happiness. you will not find another like her and as she will not be, you think that it does not matter who she will be .... do not close the doors yourself - at a wonderful age to start a family, especially since you are independent and you know what want. There are so many beautiful unmarried women. Your life is still ahead of you - you deserve to spend it with someone with whom you will be really happy. Number 37 is absolutely right. He does not compromise with his happiness.
Dude, what are you roaring about? !? Everything in your life is ordered and there are people who give wisdom and there is nothing they can do !! Here comes the woman with ready children, you have a mistress ... what else do you want? !? You will make one or two more children's leagues and go on excursions (family) - you have a big salary! Come on, throw yourself into life because, as I see, you have run away (37 years old) - there is no time! Ha ha ha, calm down !!
I was pleased with the comments 2 and 9 :) Not that I defend the author, but I was pleased with how mediocre and one-sided they think (haha, the irony that flows from this word :)) these two. Measuring with a double yardstick is always a sign of a not very intelligent person. On the other hand, it is quite vicious. Let's see if I understood correctly - the woman with 2 children who so wants to reunite with him, is not selfish, she does not want to take advantage of his financial situation. she is just a mother who thinks about the interests of her children. And what this is the author's problem is not clear. But it's perfectly normal, isn't it. Even noble. Or maybe the mistress? It is also quite normal. Shoto every 3rd topic here is not "Help, I had an extramarital affair but my husband understood and my marriage is falling apart, what to do, how I will look after my children". Or maybe because she, like the one with the 2 children, didn't get together with her husband, because she "really wanted to get together", but she remembered that she also "lacks love" (to read a lot of plowing at least 2 times). per week) and it is perfectly OK to slap the author. Not that he doesn't make the mistake of dealing with a married woman either, but the woman should think about it first because she has a lot more to lose. and number 9 - no matter how much you call your mother, she won't come :) in fact, she may come, come to think of it. Avotre, on the subject - you do not need to pay public opinion tax at all. Especially in the face of such semblances of women whose main job is to explain to men how selfish they are. Or to call their mother for nothing. That you come across such men is your problem, I would say "ladies" but I remembered that you do not fall into this category. And in the end, things always work out as they should and everyone gets exactly the person they deserve. Which comes to light up some lights in the painted heads.
What does "I did not find one who is not married" mean? You are 37 years old - a great age for a man. I am a woman and I tell you that from what I have seen, most tricksters with children only look at whom to "place" them. Woe to the softer men who accept the "inheritance"! It comes out through their noses!