I have a girlfriend of about 6 months. Because we are both adults (about 35) it is time for us to have children and she really wants to have a child. We often argue with her about some nonsense - mostly everyday life. I don't know why, but it's as if she doesn't have the thrill, or at least I don't have that strong love that I want to have for her. Because I don't want to waste the little time she has for a child, I have to decide very soon whether to stay with her for life, have a child, etc., or separate each other on our way. If I have to listen to my intuition, she tells me that this girl is not for me and in principle I would part with her and not think about it much, but already at this age I wonder if the problem is not in me. Isn't it normal for people to fight often for nonsense and not for everyone to have great love and great thrill? Will I not miss a very valuable person, because I think that things are not right, but in reality with anyone can never be as I imagine and want them. I can say for myself that I am obviously one of those crazy men that no one wants, because in general I have no success with women, although over the years I have not been alone for more than a few months. It's just that in all my years I haven't felt a woman take me down, and several times there have been women I liked to have been cut. Maybe that's why I have a fear of what will happen to me if I'm left alone. Will I find another girl and as they say - what will I come across. How do I take this hard to decide? I have a feeling that whatever I choose will always be wrong. but in reality they can never be with anyone as I imagine and want them. I can say for myself that I am obviously one of those crazy men that no one wants, because in general I have no success with women, although over the years I have not been alone for more than a few months. It's just that in all my years I haven't felt a woman take me down, and several times there have been women I liked to have been cut. Maybe that's why I have a fear of what will happen to me if I'm left alone. Will I find another girl and as they say - what will I come across. How do I take this hard to decide? I have a feeling that whatever I choose will always be wrong. but in reality they can never be with anyone as I imagine and want them. I can say for myself that I am obviously one of those crazy men that no one wants, because in general I have no success with women, although over the years I have not been alone for more than a few months. It's just that in all my years I haven't felt a woman take me down, and several times there have been women I liked to have been cut. Maybe that's why I have a fear of what will happen to me if I'm left alone. Will I find another girl and as they say - what will I come across. How do I take this hard to decide? I have a feeling that whatever I choose will always be wrong. It's just that in all my years I haven't felt a woman take me down, and several times there have been women I liked to have been cut. Maybe that's why I have a fear of what will happen to me if I'm left alone. Will I find another girl and as they say - what will I come across. How do I take this hard to decide? I have a feeling that whatever I choose will always be wrong. It's just that in all my years I haven't felt a woman take me down, and several times there have been women I liked to have been cut. Maybe that's why I have a fear of what will happen to me if I'm left alone. Will I find another girl and as they say - what will I come across. How do I take this hard to decide? I have a feeling that whatever I choose will always be wrong.
Answers 18
Separate. It is not good for both of you to start a family with this attitude and doubts. From experience I tell you, when I have doubts about someone, it has always been a waste of time and emotions when I have given a chance, although every experience is useful and teachable. Quarrels between people - there are, if one or both sides are more immature and / or hot-tempered, and this is a terrible coexistence. It's pretty ugly to yell or mutter or shrug. It is good to find a calm woman who has an opinion, but does not quarrel with you, does not raise your voice, then the quarrels will end peacefully and quickly, when one has a quiet temperament, notice - not depressed, but calm, the other calms down faster, and a dispute is reached. For example, I always talk calmly, even if he shouts at me, and to provoke such an attitude is not without reason, everyone has their own burdens, we must be resourceful, especially with our loved ones, whom we know well. Think about whether you respect each other, the love you are talking about is more passion, which is strong in the beginning, and then (especially if the woman is not super beautiful and sexy) - disappears and appears regularly on occasions, be it because of a positive change in her vision , some sexy attitude, gesture, lingerie ... So - do you respect the question. Ask her if she feels respected by you, and ask yourself if you feel respected by her. some sexy attitude, gesture, lingerie ... So - do you respect the question. Ask her if she feels respected by you, and ask yourself if you feel respected by her. some sexy attitude, gesture, lingerie ... So - do you respect the question. Ask her if she feels respected by you, and ask yourself if you feel respected by her.
Oh, too. Be realistic about yourself, but not critical, because criticism leads to pessimism, and it leads to making wrong decisions. And you're not old enough to worry about, she is, but you're not. It is bad for a woman to be an old or too young mother, but not for fathers. I start from the point of view that it is important for men to work and develop professionally, and to support the family, while - the woman is the one who has to take care of the children, from nutrition to upbringing, and the age between 25-30 is the right one for a woman to become a mother, biologically as well as emotionally, after 30, without a man having relationships, for me, these women wear out emotionally. Find a woman around 27-30 years old, this one is old for you.
Dude, what can I tell you? I'm also 35 and I've been alone most of the time. I've had the opportunity to be with girls I don't like, but I've never done it. I know how you feel, because a few years ago I was faced with a similar dilemma. I met a very valuable woman who I can't find a bad trait or even something I don't like. The problem was that there was simply no thrill, but no thrill. In the last few years, I even feel like I'm getting used to being alone. Something I could never stand in principle. Still, I think there should be at least a little thrill. The person next to you cannot be indifferent to you. The attitude is very important to me. A woman can win me over with just one word or gesture. That means she has a relationship, too.
If you fight and after a year, you have a child, it will not fix things - most likely you will separate or live together for the sake of the child. At the age of 35, it is enough for a woman who does not have a child, but not for a man, many of my friends got married for the first time, for the second time after the age of 35-36. My opinion is that if you are together for only 6 months and you do not see your future with her, leave her, for the good of both of you. M33
An innocent child does not deserve to suffer because of your fears and indecision.
Stay with her and have a baby. Everyone has flaws, the next one will be the same.
She is quite old for a mother - 35 is the age at which a woman's fertility drops sharply. You are young for a father - you have time to 40-45 at least. Drop it and have fun, otherwise you will fight all your life.
Talk to her and see how she feels. Tell her that these quarrels bother you, think carefully about whether she really is a valuable person and whether you want to have a child at this stage of your life. If you feel that something is wrong, my advice is not to rush to have a child, because then he must grow up in a good environment. My question to you is why do you think you are one of the "crazy men"? This self-esteem is a little disturbing for a person your age. You may simply not have come across the right woman yet. And yes, it is normal for people to quarrel about nonsense, but usually this does not happen in the sixth month of the relationship, but much later (1-2-3 years). You shouldn't have lived together right now, in a hurry. It is also right to find out if you are on the same page of your lives right now. And my other question to you is do you spend any time having fun together? Because you may be about 35 years old, but still your relationship did not start very long ago and it takes some time to get to know each other, spend time together, fun, surprises, rapprochement ...
Oh, the sheer fear of not being left alone. You obviously don't love her, do her a favor and get rid of her.
From the author: I feel a lot of malice in comment number 9. I can only say that unfortunately this is life. I'm not as lucky with the generic lottery as many people, and that's why I'm afraid of what will happen to me. This somewhat overlaps with the answer I wanted to give to number 8. It's just that in all the years I've been interested in women, I've felt that I don't particularly like them. For comparison, I have seen how things go with some of my friends who have no problems with women, are liked and relatively easy to find normal women. Now someone here can jump against the fact that I said "normal" and say that I choose a lot, but still I have some requirements. For example, a woman who weighs more than me,
It amazes me how boldly Bai Ganyo puts labels. Number 4 and number 7 still live in the Stone Age to identify a 35-year-old woman who was too old to give birth. Author, for the second time you want an opinion here on the same topic. As long as you both struggle, beauty does not happen by force.
Listen to your intuition. I don't really agree that a woman is very old to give birth at 35. I have an acquaintance who gave birth to her third child at 50. The problem is that you are obviously not for each other and this will inevitably lead to separation. If you are now fighting over nonsense in the absence of a child, believe me, after the birth of the child, the problems will intensify threefold. I have a bitter experience in this regard, although I married for love.
Visit a psychologist or family counselor and try to solve your problems. Give yourself time, no matter what - as much as you need to be emotionally and intimately stable. If you succeed, only then can you think of a child. If you are not ready to face yourself and defeat the ego (the same goes for your partner), there is no point in committing as a parent. Neither the child nor you two will be happy. On the contrary. You will destroy another life. And then you will wonder how to look outside for the lost freedom, thrill, desire, etc. A family is made only by people who love each other more than anything in the world, want to grow old together and have a real desire to be with each other. - mentally, physically, emotionally, mentally. Anyway. They are ready for the responsibility to create and educate a human being, to raise him in a good environment and to offer him an example of a real family, of love, care and warmth between partners. They fought together against the difficult, the difficult, the problems, the poverty, the boredom, the pain, and they coped. When people decide to commit to a child, but they lack some of the above, the result is secrets, lovers, divorces, scandals, insults, indifference and divisions - something we witness too often. And then we wonder why our children go down bad paths or repeat our destiny ... Don't become parents if you feel that there is a high probability of entering these statistics. Don't cause it. Fix your problems first, and if you find a light in the tunnel ... then maybe it's time to talk about the next step. If you decide to end your relationship with the woman who is sharing your life right now, a visit to a psychologist on your part is still mandatory. You are hindered by fears and mental blockages, which should be cleared up. Then, when you start working on them, you will see a completely different perspective and you will no longer feel like you are crazy. On the contrary. Women will show more and more interest. Anyway, good luck!
You are both too old (and not smarter) to have a choice. On the issue of women, the fact that women give birth at 30-40 ... 50 ??? ... (my wife gave birth to our second child at the age of 31) have you heard of Symphysis Edge, which until the age of 25 has cartilage (associated with birth) and then becomes ... bone, if you are not read. I say that you are too old, because you both have CERTAIN household requirements and nobody gives in ... they don't want to give in !!! The thrill ... this thrill ... at this age, it's just ridiculous not to be 15-20 years old, what you don't understand ... so that you shiver. You caught a lover because she didn't have a "thrill" for her husband ... (deviation from the topic). Sit down and talk, talk, talk ... and find out if you will live together or separate !!! ... and don't forget that while you're waiting for the thrill, you'll be 60, ...
One should not start a family with a partner who does not feel right, and even more so with one with whom they have frequent conflicts. So good luck with future relationships! Do not bother unnecessarily, you will burden the children with your problems.
I will not give advice on whether to separate. I'm a little older than you. I had a long-term relationship. And I had doubts about the person next to me. At times, the red light flashed on me. But I just didn't pay attention, I made compromises. Everyone has flaws though. Until the moment came when she ended our relationship, in a difficult period for me. I'm not saying I was sinless. So I want to say that if you have doubts, they are hardly without reason. Sometimes we have to trust our intuition. It is true that compromises are important in life, but big compromises lead to big mistakes. Beauty cannot be forced. Ah, I lost years with a meaningless relationship because I didn't pay attention to my intuition, and I believed in things that turned out to be a big mistake. If you don't feel happy now with the woman next to you, if you're not sure about her now, things are unlikely to change in the future. So you decide.
From n. 9: it is not malice but indignation that you are wasting a woman's time. A time when she can find someone to love her. Why don't you tell her what you wrote here to give her the right to choose whether to be with you or not. You just act like a pathetic coward, and I as a woman can't help but be outraged!
From the author to number 17: She knows very well what worries me and what we are arguing about. She is free to choose what to do at any time. As I said - such is life. Sometimes it makes us selfish. I just didn't understand why I was a coward?