Hello. I will tell you my story briefly to get an idea and I hope you can help me :( I was 16 when I met a boy. He lives and still lives in Burgas, and I am on the other side of Bulgaria. they know me and from the very beginning they forbade me any contact with him, there were even punishments and beatings, but we did not give up our relationship. After 6 months of waiting, we saw each other. He was my first. The sweetest boy - never he hadn't been rude to me, he had touched me .... nothing bad. He's 13 years older. Our love was pure, sincere and innocent. We did everything together, but hid so they wouldn't find out about us. At some point in a year and a half things stopped going. He didn't pay any attention to me, he ignored me. I couldn't stand it and asked for a break. I started, even as a friend, to communicate with a new boy, but things grew into a relationship that developed quite rapidly. Within a week, he introduced me to his parents, and he introduced me to mine. Everyone was content and happy except me. I realized that he was cheating on me and I'm just another one. We broke up and I returned to my first love. I had hurt him terribly, he looked awful, but he was flying in the clouds that I had returned to him.
Happiness did not last long - questions began why I caught up with another, why I went to them and he at home and why I did not do these things with him (and the reason was the disagreement of my parents). I turned 18, finished high school, and he started insisting that I go with him, get married, and start a family. The problem is that my parents warned me - if you go with him, end with us !!! They will never look at me again and accept me. I'm worried about losing them, because the most important thing is the family and the people who gave you life, and they are the ideal dream parents. If things don't work out between us, if we are perfect, but it's too early for my family life ... But on the other hand I know that he is my true love, as I am his, he is ready to give me everything, but I'm worried not to it would be only in words, and when I sacrifice everything here to go to him, it will not be like most men, only the difference here is that I will not have relatives and parents to whom I can turn for support .. and I don't know what to do, it will hurt me in both cases, and I will lose something to which there is no going back.
We have been with this boy for more than 2 years, he has always been perfect, even when I was with another he did not give up on me and did not stop begging me to come back to him and that he would give me all his attention, but since then he has become different, and lately he has been rudely rude to me ... he curses me, insults me and threatens me. He constantly humiliates me and lowers me to the ground with the excuse that I haven't gone to him yet ... how do I know that when he leaves he will be nice again? Please give your opinion what you think is more correct and how you would act. I need help and advice to make the right decision.
Answers 18
You're in a big mistake about this man, darling. He owns you. He insults you, hurts you, and wants a family ?? These are two incompatible things. And you think correctly about your parents - do not give up on them!
What boy, darling, he's a 30-year-old man? !! If you feel really confident in your happy future - go to him, your parents will take it hard, but surely after another year they will pass and accept your relationship. The point is for you to be happy. In your place, I wouldn't trust a man who "has been rude to me lately ... swearing at me, insulting me and threatening me. He constantly humiliates me and lowers me to the ground." Don't hurt yours, but most of all don't hurt yourself. You are still so young, don't think that the best things have already happened to you, that you have met the most valuable people, there is a lot of life ahead of you ... F 24
"He constantly humiliates me and lowers me to the ground with the excuse that I haven't gone to him yet ..." - this is the fact that shows that you should NOT go with him. If I were you, I'd dump him without thinking.
At first, tell him about the situation with your parents and that you are faced with a difficult choice. It's good to tell him to prove to you that you can count on him at any time. There is no guarantee for anything in this life, and even if you are far away, you do not know what he has shown and what he has not in front of you, yet you do not see each other every day. If you think he is not lying to you, that he is honest about everything in his life and if you think he will understand you, it is good to talk seriously.
don't leave. I quote your words: "At one point after a year and a half, things stopped going. He didn't pay any attention to me, he ignored me" - even before you broke up. after you returned to him: "but since then he has become different, and lately he has been rudely rude to me ... he curses me, insults me and threatens me. He constantly humiliates me and lowers me with the ground" are you seriously asking if you should leave permanently to a person who treats you as described? he asked you to return to him from a wounded ego. I do not see love here, but an attempt at domination. and since you are not yet completely under his control, that is, you have not left everything for him, he allows himself to insult and curse you. do you call that love? and on your part the thrill was from the forbidden, from the fact that it was far away and was your first. don't let that ruin your life. dump it, and it's far from it. you don't write whether you study or work, but focus on yourself. as you rightly point out, it's too early for family life, especially with this specimen. leave him and move on. I'm not saying parents are always right, but in your case it really looks that way. F42
I don't think he's leaving if he treats you like that. It is unlikely to change if you go to him.
I don't think this person loves you, he just wants to "tie" you. If he loved you, he would never dare to speak ill of you, and what is left of humiliation. Your biggest mistake, in my opinion, will be if you go to him. What's more, he should be a conscious man now that you're 13 years apart, so you're talking about extremely ugly things. Think hard, but I think your parents are right against it. Good luck and be happy!
Don't go to him! He is not normal! This is a sick man! How will you tolerate being cursed and threatened! That when you are together it will reach you! Drop it! It is far away and it will pass. ж28
Forget it! Don't let a man treat you badly .. He curses you today, he can abuse you tomorrow ..
Abe, why do you do all this stuff when you're not ready for a serious relationship? You are both not ready! She was 18 ... well, get at least 28, gain experience - with men, with people in general, get to know them, get to know yourself. what can, what can't, what can be relied on and what can't, then! If you leave now, I guarantee you that in 5-6 years you will be happily divorced, lost the support of your parents, all alone, with a baby in your arms! People underestimate the importance of reason, but let us not forget that in human society and life, it is a factor of paramount importance.
Dear girl, from now on he shows off his curly shirts. It says a girl who has gone through a similar ordeal twice! Please don't ruin your life. Remember: No man, no. it is worth dedicating your youth to it! I realized it and I'm glad it's time when I'm still young. Some endure 20 years, and when you wake up, your good years are over. It's never too late to start from scratch, but it's one thing to be 20 free, it's another to be 35 with kids and ruined by your husband. And remember something else from me: '' When you wonder if it's worth it, then it's not worth it! . '';) You realize what a mistake you will make, don't make it !!! Leave him, he will ruin your life, he is crushing you from now on! If he holds you, you will not run away, but he will come. He wants you to lose the support of your parents. You will really be there alone, and he wants that. April, 25.
You will make a big mistake if you leave!
11, a man may not deserve to dedicate his youth to him, but LITERACY is definitely worth spending a few years at school! Moreover, this was your job while you were studying.
Hey, without taking offense, but you are still a child at 18 ... There is no logic in such a fragile age to voluntarily strive for literal enslavement - to live under one roof with a man, whether married or not, is pure loss for you. Believe me, you will quickly enter the everyday life and the gray part of life instead of having fun when the time is right. Think about it, then all your life you will have to consider someone else and you will never have the freedom you have now. And by the way, don't you have any other goals besides possibly washing socks and cooking all day?
the author: I have goals and they are for me to finish a specialty related to mathematics and computer science, which I could if I have a good relationship with my parents, and with him I will have to work, save money and then study, so as he does not want to come with me to Sofia, where I want to study, but wants to study in Burgas to be with him. Yes, I love him very much, but you are all right because you have seen much more in life than I have. I like to know that someone loves me, but he kills me with his behavior and his ugly hints, that only he loves me, that no one else will love me as I am and so on ...
13, I have devoted much more than normal literacy classes. You may not be picky. I shared my advice with the Author, like everyone here. From number 11.
Author, there will always be someone to love you. Don't stick to his words. He is not the last man on Earth.
the author: thank you all for the opinions, because I really obviously can't decide for myself which is more correct, I think it's better to listen to all of you, who obviously have a lot more experience than me. After all, I live for now in a small town where people know each other. I admit it's very difficult for me, I think about it all the time, I miss it terribly much and I don't want to think if it's with someone else at the moment, but I guess I'm supported by the thought that it would hurt a lot more if I left all relatives because as my mother said, "you will love each other, but when all the bills come and you have nothing to pay them with, love will remain in the background."