Hello, I will start my story from afar to get a little better idea of the whole picture. I was born in a small town, I have lived in Sofia for 15 years. At school, I've always been a bit of an outsider, first because I wore glasses in first grade, and as you know, kids can be pretty cruel to their peers. Although then I got into a fight if someone was making fun of me. I was a strong student, ie of the so-called "bison". But I played on the volleyball team, so I wasn't that crazy. At 15, I lost my father and only I know what I went through. I helped him after I got back from school and day after day I saw him lose his mind more and more because of the nasty cancer. Then I closed completely, stopped talking, became completely antisocial. Students didn't go very smoothly, but then I got a chance for a fresh start and I'd say that things had begun to sort themselves out. Then I caught my first serious friend (only in the 4th year, I was already working almost full time). We were both virgins, but I had a problem with the member (phimosis) - I guess since adolescence, but I no longer have any memory of how it was then. At first we drove for a long time without trying to penetrate until she felt ready, then we tried, but it didn't work. My head turned blue because of the phimosis ring, and she was obviously scared, although I realized that after a while and I could look from another angle and a little more mature. Apart from that, she just sat at home during the day, bored and wondering what to do, and I got tired of trying to combine university with work. Well, I'm obviously tired of her and we broke up in a year and a half. I experienced it very hard, because I had sunk to my ears and it took me over a year to overcome it. And just then I moved to another apartment, there was no one to help me with the transfer and I decided. that he would manage on his own and the consequence was a hernia operation. Instead of calling her movers ... Otherwise I don't judge her for anything, even from time to time (rarely) we write to each other a little. But after that failure, I gasped again. I can't explain why I didn't go to the doctor after that. In fact, we went with her once and she said I had nothing. The essential part is already approaching :) Then another girl appeared - she started working in the company I was in then. However, there was a friend, and I was screwed and blown away and did nothing. I entered the friendly zone, no matter what I thought she was interested in at first. And so 10 years have passed since then. In general, she didn't use me much, I didn't pay her bills, I wasn't always available, we just went out because she didn't have anyone - her mother worked abroad and from a divorced family. So when they broke up with her boyfriend, she was left alone. Of course, I wanted something more, but I didn't have the courage, and his empty virginity became a complex, like many other people on this site. At one time I was in love with her, but as we know it passes. However, I still love her, while she is more used to me, I don't even know if she has feelings for me at all. Three years ago, she was diagnosed with a cavernoma (tumor) in her brain after a seizure, and later became depressed. I was with her more and more often and tried to help her somehow. We went to all kinds of doctors, but her anxiety did not disappear, on the contrary - it deepened. There were times when I couldn't get her out of bed at all. He was also getting something like panic attacks and we called an ambulance at night. I didn't know how to help her, I tried to be by her side, but that wasn't enough. Her mother came home and we thinned out the contacts a bit, ie I went to work for a longer time and saw her in the evening, but I didn't sleep with them. There was a suicide attempt, apparently seeing no way out, although, fortunately, the check-ups did not show an increase. However, she is constantly dizzy because this thing presses on the thalamus. She ran away from home and swallowed pills, I couldn't find the location of her phone, I went around the neighborhoods at night, the police refused to demand triangulation from a mobile operator. I was crazy, and her mother couldn't think straight, and I had to take matters into my own hands, trying to keep my cool and not panic. Fortunately, a security guard had found her on the basement again and taken her to a hospital, where they called us. He was in a coma and could have serious consequences. We spent in the hospital I think 2 weeks almost day and night. She woke up on the 3rd day. After this incident he still takes antidepressants. He doesn't go out without his mother or me. I try not to make her feel like a prisoner, but she thinks it weighs a lot on her that she can't go out completely free. We now come to my current problem. He asked for sex, I agreed because I had wanted it for years. It didn't work - I still have the problem down there. Apart from the fact that I was overwhelmed, super worried and I couldn't get over my head that I wouldn't be able to cope. The next time the mental problem deepened and I blamed myself more and more. Along with the phimosis, I also had a slightly short band, as well as a terrible sensitivity of the head, which led to pain. I went to the doctor, they said there was no phimosis and I scheduled the nearest date for surgery. In the meantime, she told me in plain text that she wanted to try one of her colleagues. I forgot to mention that he works entirely from home, does not go to the office at all. My gems sank. After 2-3 days he found out about the operation and apparently gave up. They removed my laser beam. I recovered in 15 days and we tried again - this time it turned crooked, but I smeared myself with lidocaine. There was no other way with this sensitivity. We went home to them and she sat down at the computer without expecting me and showed me a picture of that colleague's work. I have no words. I'm not very gifted (14 cm with good thickness) and I felt bad. Affected, I left. The next day he apologized to me and I swallowed. This happened sometime in January. Then we did it a few more times with varying success and each time I think it's getting better. But I continue to use lidocaine. However, the sensitivity gradually decreases - I can now touch it with almost no problem, while before it was a terrible pain to wash. I maintain otherwise quite good hygiene. The problem is that she continues to write to this colleague (I don't know what exactly) and they exchange nude photos, maybe masturbate together. He doesn't pay much attention to me, he probably doesn't like me at all. I am 100% sure about the photos. Maybe a video, because her phone camera broke recently and I guess it's from overheating. I try in sex. I have no experience, but I try to predispose her, I like the pre-game and I have long fingers. I think I'm doing well - I pay a lot of attention and I try to please her. However, she seems to be a tree in the bed - she just lies on her back and so much, she hardly touches me, she has never been to kisses. 2-3 times she hugged and kissed me and helped me with her hand. It often happens that he just lies down and says "I want" without any play. Otherwise, it gets aroused and moisturized, so I don't know if I have the problem or if it is. Maybe during sex he thinks about her again. I can last a long time with lidocaine, but I don't feel almost nothing to see it and it happened to me :( This situation with the photos (I also feel when she lies to me in the evening if I write something to her) bothers me a lot - from I can't sleep for 3 days, it will definitely affect me, now at the end of the week I will stay with her while her mother travels to work and I wonder what to do. The lack of sleep and these thoughts about the photos (and that member is imprinted in my mind) will certainly make the situation even worse and I may expose myself again. I thought that this with the colleague would be temporary and would disappear quickly, but she is still bored and it is possible that things will get worse there. You may be wondering why I haven't whipped myself before, no matter that I still love her, and why I don't know now whether to open my mouth or swallow again. I'm afraid he'll do something stupid again. I know that I neglect myself in this way and only harm myself, but I also get into a situation because of the ugliness in her head. I try to help as much as I can. I don't want to hurt her, I want things to get better. I don't think I can make her feel wanted enough, so she's looking elsewhere. But I'm angry that he's making a fool of me and thinking, that I feel nothing. I want to somehow make her feel that I am not a given to her and she can lose me at any time, but without pushing her to extremes - I will never forgive myself. I don't know what to do, but there should be a way out. I am more reserved, I am not impulsive and I think about every situation. I'm a programmer and my mind works in analytical mode, that's why I'm not that interesting. Fortunately, I have a good sense of humor and I compensate with that :) This outpouring became terribly long, and I could have written so much more, but I will stop here. I don't have a super close friend to share with. I hope someone will endure and read it all :) M 33 but without pushing her to extremes, I will never forgive myself. I don't know what to do, but there should be a way out. I am more reserved, I am not impulsive and I think about every situation. I'm a programmer and my mind works in analytical mode, that's why I'm not that interesting. Fortunately, I have a good sense of humor and I compensate with that :) This outpouring became terribly long, and I could have written so much more, but I will stop here. I don't have a super close friend to share with. I hope someone will endure and read it all :) M 33 but without pushing her to extremes, I will never forgive myself. I don't know what to do, but there should be a way out. I am more reserved, I am not impulsive and I think about every situation. I'm a programmer and my mind works in analytical mode, that's why I'm not that interesting. Fortunately, I have a good sense of humor and I compensate with that :) This outpouring became terribly long, and I could have written so much more, but I will stop here. I don't have a super close friend to share with. I hope someone will endure and read it all :) M 33 ) This outpouring took an awful long time, and I could have written so much more, but I'll stop there. I don't have a super close friend to share with. I hope someone will endure and read it all :) M 33 ) This outpouring took an awful long time, and I could have written so much more, but I'll stop there. I don't have a super close friend to share with. I hope someone will endure and read it all :) M 33
Answers 18
Hello! As I read, I thought of two options. I don't know who is better, so you choose. Now, when you go to her these days, ask her directly. Do you have feelings for me or am I just for sex? Ask what this colleague is doing, what is it for her? The other thing is ask her if she minds getting a girlfriend. See how he reacts. If she doesn't agree, ask why. You can then ask her how she feels about you. P.s. Whatever you do, write down what happened
Brother, advice. If he had driven in essence. You've told your whole life, and no one will have the patience to read this whole thing.
The problem is that the girl doesn't want you. At the same time it uses you, and you use it to some extent. She is afraid of leaving her, so she offers you sex and she didn't really do it with her colleague. She's probably worried about him too, but anyway. What to do - get her out of your head, help, but don't neglect yourself for her sake. And don't indulge her desire for sex if she doesn't want to do it with you. 99% is not a tree in the bed, he just doesn't want you and this is clearly showing. Talk seriously and explain to the girl that her lies are bothering you and it's time for her to be honest with you. On the other hand, be ready to accept reality as a man. You've sacrificed many years, but it's time to move on if you need to register on a dating site or something. She's not the only woman you can be with, but until you believe it,
Talk to a psychologist. The problem is deeper. And the more you please the worse for women. As you can see, they have a lot of shivers, but she is still ready for anything. Talking to a psychologist will show you the way to change.
This girl abused you a lot .... Maybe they even had sex, leave her! A sick person is not up to sex, but she lives by watching! You have no self-confidence, so she abuses. You yourself said that she DIRECTLY showed you the member of the other, what more do you want from this woman? Can he even lie about his illness? I don't trust people anymore. Do you have to do it with the one in front of you to leave her? It's always good men fall for some whores with an apology. I just felt sorry for you .. :( - Better alone than with garbage.
Although you don't have much experience with women, you don't sound congested at all! I think you should break away from her, she humiliates you, and try another girl. If you don't have an environment, just start going to the gym, to some lessons, to the theater, to the cinema - things will always happen somewhere. I think you are mature enough, and you already have some experience so you will do it!
I find no logic in any of what you wrote. You know she wants someone else and she probably has a relationship with him, but at the same time you don't want to leave her because you're afraid she might get hurt again? You serious? Look, this girl doesn't care about you. Think about it, think about her actions, you say yourself that you have an analytical thought. If you have to read carefully everything you wrote above, just look. None of what she has done so far speaks of feelings for you. And you are sitting to think about it and worry. She took her own life out of self-pity, not because she was very sleepy for you or anyone else. I think it's time to think about yourself and be with someone who makes just as much effort to feel good and comfortable as you do for him. Things have to be mutual,
Specify. What everyone expects from the other. What she did (to show you the picture) is stupid, but sometimes you have to ask for it to be given to you. Explain your feelings (that you are not with her unfortunately), let her tell you how she feels about you. You need a conversation at all.
Man, you were next to the one during the hardest moments in life, and as soon as it didn't work out in sex for the first time, she immediately wrote you off and went elsewhere. I just don't have words. Once again, I reaffirm my view that you should not make any compromises, any sacrifices for the sake of a woman, even the smallest, or even gestures if you do not immediately receive the same attitude from the other side. Such ungrateful people that I'm sick. Now I immediately remember that some will say - "you can not love out of gratitude", but they can receive help, comfort, attention and support from the same person right? It just pisses me off.
From the author: Thank you all for the answers, I did not expect more than 1-2 people to be involved. I really didn't have to write so many things, but obviously something had clicked on me, I'm usually not so talkative :) In the "death SMS" she had written to me then that she loves me, but she can't live like that anymore. I am convinced that even if she doesn't have any stronger feelings for me at the moment, she certainly had it before. I am absolutely sure about the disease, as I am familiar with all the research, opinions of professors, MRI results, etc. Even a response from a foreign clinic. It certainly causes her the slightest discomfort and she doesn't even dare go out alone. It is not otherwise forcibly restricted, no one has tied it with ropes at home. Sometimes he overplays in my opinion, but the problem is real. Maybe her mother is upset too. Mine is good, but I find it difficult to endure 2 weeks by visiting once a year. The pills he takes after each periodic check-up change (doses are reduced, they are replaced) and in my opinion this also affects the mood and thoughts. I'm pretty sure they haven't really flirted with that one yet. Although it's not entirely impossible for her to play it so that her mother thinks she's been with me one day. And this boy is no more than 24. I forgot to mention that she is 5 years older than me, ie. their difference is 14-15 years at least. In those years, a lot of women seem to "go crazy". She must be shaken by the crisis of middle age. I think I will listen to the advice and act these days, ask her directly and clarify. She may have given me a kind of "thank you" for all those years, who knows. But it sounded to me and I thought he really wanted it, but I guess she didn't expect any problems. A few years ago (maybe 6-7) she asked me for the first time, but then I was very worried because she just lay down on the bed and waited. And not that I refused directly, but then I told her I was still a virgin. That's why I think she's like that in bed. Or the previous one taught her that - just to swear and that's it. However, she definitely feels better since we started doing it, then her eyes "light up", she is fresher and happier. And I am almost convinced that in those years after her last boyfriend, it is quite possible that she was not with anyone! Or even if it was by no means regular. Rather, she drove with the vibrator. Otherwise, I don't think I'm ugly, I'm not fat, although I need to step up. I practice a little more extreme sports (enduro with a mountain bike), I also went to the gym until the new year and I have to renew to improve my shape that the racing season is starting. I have many other hobbies that I do / have been doing - I take one while I'm interested, then move on to another. I will not be bored. So - I will act, otherwise I will only suffer. I would never leave a loved one just because he is sick. If I manage to shake off the feelings somehow, I will help again. However, this is a completely different matter. I will write what happened. Ehh ... it's been a long time again, I'm a great writer :) I would never leave a loved one just because he is sick. If I manage to shake off the feelings somehow, I will help again. However, this is a completely different matter. I will write what happened. Ehh ... it's been a long time again, I'm a great writer :) I would never leave a loved one just because he is sick. If I manage to shake off the feelings somehow, I will help again. However, this is a completely different matter. I will write what happened. Ehh ... it's been a long time again, I'm a great writer :)
Find another one. Urgent. Alpha, w. 29
Don't be a trash can, don't be a doormat. Why didn't you solve the member problem earlier? I think it's time for you to get rid of this girl. You have done each other favors - you have supported her in difficult times, she has taken away your virginity. It is an exchange of services, as materialistic as it may seem. I can't imagine a normal self-respecting man loving a girl who showed her a colleague's penis and told him how she wanted to fuck him. Have a little self-esteem, man!
You are right, you are all right. I think I needed such opinions, thank you!
Excuse me, friend, but you are a complete lefty, throw away this muffin and look for something decent, although it is already difficult to find decent ones, but there is hope!
I will offer you something a little more unusual - there is no way to guarantee a result, but it does not prevent you from trying. Download from the internet a photo of someone you like (I like pink and completely hairless, but you will judge for yourself), tell her that you recently wrote to this girl and you exchanged photos, more precisely do it that your girlfriend did the same way she did - be prepared to answer any questions and make your answers sound believable and convincing. Observe her reaction and draw her own conclusions - in general, your girlfriend will go to compete with the imaginary rival and will no longer be a "tree" in bed, or at least not for now. If she jumps against you and wants to separate nothing you do not lose, you will lose the thought that you left her in a difficult time. In general, I can only say one thing, you are still young, it is not too late to have a family and children, but with a woman on the verge of critical this can not happen - do not waste your life with a man who has not appreciated you, he will not appreciate you. Regarding your health problem - firstly, this is not a health problem, but physiology is quite common in men, secondly, whatever has already happened and you need a full sexual life, otherwise you will start to be prescribed antidepressants. In conclusion - you have nothing, you are even a very good person, look for someone who will appreciate you and will want to be the mother of your children and I repeat, do not waste your life - a mime with 5-6 years younger or somewhere around your age it can make you really happy and satisfied, at least you have to try,
The whole situation between you seems super weird to me ... You don't have enough experience with women (which is not a bad thing, of course), but at the same time you are super helpful and naive to the point of stupidity. Apparently, because of the accumulated complexes, you approached this woman like a straw drowning man. Maybe you don't even love her, you're just attached to her in a purely friendly way, and you have a physical attraction to her. However, this does not necessarily mean that we can talk about love! It's just that your life has flowed in an extremely negative way, and now you may see this girl as an opportunity to get out of this negative rut. But the question is, is this the best thing for you ...? On the other hand, I understand that your girlfriend in question is almost 40 years old. And it is not very normal for a woman of this age to be alone and without children. At the same time, however, she dreams of younger men with big penises. Which, in my opinion, is a sign of some complexes and things that she has never experienced so far, but still wants to happen to her. What is not known is exactly where you fall into her plans, and that is exactly what you need to understand. Otherwise, you're obviously a very good person, and you may find yourself with this girl. I wish you success! If the outcome is still negative, you have already gained some life experience, and you can safely move on! I wish you success! If the outcome is still negative, you have already gained some life experience, and you can safely move on! I wish you success! If the outcome is still negative, you have already gained some life experience, and you can safely move on!
From the author: Well, I did, I told her, but I waited too long. I should have woken her earlier and had more time before her mother came home. I didn't seem convincing enough, but I still had the courage. Last night I think I was quite happy, but also a little grumpy. I was nervous and angry, probably that's why I got better, so far I couldn't relax in sex at all and I kept thinking if I wouldn't like it, how I would present myself, if she liked it, etc., until last night I thought more to myself. It calmed me down. I think I can now and without applying painkillers, the doctor said that it should pass gradually. I suspect that then three pictures of the laptop and she wrote to the one not to look for her anymore - I do not want to dig, I am not insolent, but the path of logic leads me there, given the other details. I just pretended to be shocked and asked questions to see what would lie to me again. As soon as her mother came this morning, I left. Now she keeps texting me, apologizing, begging me to forgive her and giving her another chance, she wanted to be with me, she would change, she would pay more attention to me, she would forgive me such a thing, etc. you can imagine. At the moment I just want to sleep because I haven't slept in 1 week. One thing worries me, or rather makes me curious. As soon as it touches me (very, very rare lately), it happens to me. Even if he just catches me under the arm. And it continues after so long "together". Is that so with you? Is it normal? Thanks again to everyone for encouraging me. I hope it serves as a lesson to someone else in the same situation! H14, haha, yes ... that's right! I realize it myself. : D As soon as her mother came this morning, I left. Now she keeps texting me, apologizing, begging me to forgive her and giving her another chance, she wanted to be with me, she would change, she would pay more attention to me, she would forgive me such a thing, etc. you can imagine. At the moment I just want to sleep because I haven't slept in 1 week. One thing worries me, or rather makes me curious. As soon as it touches me (very, very rare lately), it happens to me. Even if he just catches me under the arm. And it continues after so long "together". Is that so with you? Is it normal? Thanks again to everyone for encouraging me. I hope it serves as a lesson to someone else in the same situation! H14, haha, yes ... that's right! I realize it myself. : D As soon as her mother came this morning, I left. Now she keeps texting me, apologizing, begging me to forgive her and giving her another chance, she wanted to be with me, she would change, she would pay more attention to me, she would forgive me such a thing, etc. you can imagine. At the moment I just want to sleep because I haven't slept in 1 week. One thing worries me, or rather makes me curious. As soon as it touches me (very, very rare lately), it happens to me. Even if he just catches me under the arm. And it continues after so long "together". Is that so with you? Is it normal? Thanks again to everyone for encouraging me. I hope it serves as a lesson to someone else in the same situation! H14, haha, yes ... that's right! I realize it myself. : D to apologize, to beg me to forgive her and give her another chance, she wanted to be with me, she would change, she would pay more attention to me, she would forgive me such a thing, etc. you can to imagine. At the moment I just want to sleep because I haven't slept in 1 week. One thing worries me, or rather makes me curious. As soon as it touches me (very, very rare lately), it happens to me. Even if he just catches me under the arm. And it continues after so long "together". Is that so with you? Is it normal? Thanks again to everyone for encouraging me. I hope it serves as a lesson to someone else in the same situation! H14, haha, yes ... that's right! I realize it myself. : D to apologize, to beg me to forgive her and give her another chance, she wanted to be with me, she would change, she would pay more attention to me, she would forgive me such a thing, etc. you can to imagine. At the moment I just want to sleep because I haven't slept in 1 week. One thing worries me, or rather makes me curious. As soon as it touches me (very, very rare lately), it happens to me. Even if he just catches me under the arm. And it continues after so long "together". Is that so with you? Is it normal? Thanks again to everyone for encouraging me. I hope it serves as a lesson to someone else in the same situation! H14, haha, yes ... that's right! I realize it myself. : D she would forgive me for such a thing, etc. you can imagine. At the moment I just want to sleep because I haven't slept in 1 week. One thing worries me, or rather makes me curious. As soon as it touches me (very, very rare lately), it happens to me. Even if he just catches me under the arm. And it continues after so long "together". Is that so with you? Is it normal? Thanks again to everyone for encouraging me. I hope it serves as a lesson to someone else in the same situation! H14, haha, yes ... that's right! I realize it myself. : D she would forgive me for such a thing, etc. you can imagine. At the moment I just want to sleep because I haven't slept in 1 week. One thing worries me, or rather makes me curious. As soon as it touches me (very, very rare lately), it happens to me. Even if he just catches me under the arm. And it continues after so long "together". Is that so with you? Is it normal? Thanks again to everyone for encouraging me. I hope it serves as a lesson to someone else in the same situation! H14, haha, yes ... that's right! I realize it myself. : D Is that so with you? Is it normal? Thanks again to everyone for encouraging me. I hope it serves as a lesson to someone else in the same situation! H14, haha, yes ... that's right! I realize it myself. : D Is that so with you? Is it normal? Thanks again to everyone for encouraging me. I hope it serves as a lesson to someone else in the same situation! H14, haha, yes ... that's right! I realize it myself. : D
You are naive, they play with you, you like to be comfortable, otherwise if you hadn't left her so long ago or given an ultimatum, her problems are not so much because of the tumor, but because she wants to live, to "sleep" with certain men, to have a relationship in which to feel loved and cared for, to do whatever he wants in general. No one else your age will be able to endure what you have experienced with her. Why did you give her your virginity? Obviously, she doesn't love you, she's used to you, that's why she let you in bed. In general, girls / women in love are careful, take care of their partner with caresses, especially when it will be his first time, do not press him, give him a start in sexual life first with penetration, when they feel ready enough continue with the real part. Sex is not a goal in a serious relationship, you have proved that she can count on you, and instead of enjoying what she has ... Please don't ruin your life with this seemingly unconscious woman, YOU are worthy of love, you will get it from a girl who knows how to he endows you with caresses, love and understanding. This poop, anyway, will dump you, if he catches e ** h, he will "sorry", he will try to bring you back, because he will not find such a mess like you. Be firm in your relationship, don't let them crush you. - Elizabeth, 20 because he won't find a bastard like you. Be firm in your relationship, don't let them crush you. - Elizabeth, 20 because he won't find a bastard like you. Be firm in your relationship, don't let them crush you. - Elizabeth, 20