Hello, everyone. 21-year-old girl My problem is the following, 1 year ago. and half I started work. I had a very cool colleague who attracted me terribly, but the thing is that I have a friend of 4 years. we love and support each other very much in everything. I'm thinking of getting married this summer, but I have remorse. When I started working, I met me, I communicated with me, but only that much. Then he met me to take me down, just waiting for a convenient moment and coming to me. Nothing happened between us, we just pushed each other, he kissed me two or three times, but I did not respond. As much as I wanted to give up stopping these things with him, I couldn't. I saw where things were going because I loved my friend very much and I quit my job. It was between us, there was no sex just kissing and we pushed each other. My question to you is how to proceed, it's been almost a year, but this thing bothers me and I'm very sorry. Should I tell my friend what to do? My friend, proposed to me we will get married. I don't know what to do, I'm sick of telling him he'll never forgive me. To be silent or to say. With the colleague there was nothing but that at work. Help me, I don't want to lose my boyfriend, I love him very much! I know what I did is not right .. Give me advice, to keep quiet or tell him .. Until now I have never lied to him and I have never done anything like that .. Thank you! I don't want to lose my boyfriend, I love him very much! I know what I did is not right .. Give me advice, to keep quiet or tell him .. Until now I have never lied to him and I have never done anything like that .. Thank you! I don't want to lose my boyfriend, I love him very much! I know what I did is not right .. Give me advice, to keep quiet or tell him .. Until now I have never lied to him and I have never done anything like that .. Thank you!
Answers 50
Tell him and see what anger you will take
Whoever said "A" will also say "B", in the sense that after you pressed and kissed another, given that you have a friend and you intend to remain silent, sooner or later you will find yourself in a similar situation, but you will be married already. and next time it won't be just pushing and kissing but strong sex and then you'll say to yourself again - let me keep quiet like the last time, and then he didn't know anything. Obviously you are like that, you can't be with one man and sooner or later you will unleash yourself at will. Poor boy, your friend, at least don't ruin his life and deny him marriage, separate and then you are completely free to push and fuck whoever you want without having to give anyone an explanation.
It does not count during work, business trip and a hundred kilometers!
With so much love for your boyfriend, why bother with another? Who are you lying to - your boyfriend, us here, yourself? A woman she loves does not let anyone else kiss and crush her. There is always a way to refuse, to insult him if he does not understand cultural rejection, to threaten him that you will raise the issue of sexual harassment with the bosses, to call your friend to clarify things for him. But no, you enjoyed it and you wanted to be liked and wanted by more than one. Brushing your ego and vanity, but you are afraid of losing the safe. It's disgusting, you're hiding from your friend that you push yourself at work with someone else and go to bed with him in the evening. And you don't call him that. Did he have to hire you to be something? It went that way too. And if it's nothing, tell it to your future husband, why are you hiding it and fucking yourself? Let him judge if it's nothing, let his beloved touch her and kiss another. And will he be calm when you get married, that nothing like THAT will happen again. To me, it's infidelity and meanness, and you don't deserve to be forgiven. If you are a worthy person, you would confess if you respect your friend and his love. But you will hardly do it, you will be silent like a cowardly and pitiful mouse. Otherwise you wouldn't have asked for advice here, you would have already told him. A good family life awaits him, beginning with a lie.
And wouldn't you stop this colleague ?! Hey, how do you make sacrifices!
Oh darling. Change, because at this time people like you are rare and the worst thing is that people like you suffer from their honesty and kindness. You will tell him and you will ruin your future, he will tease you, he will think, he will turn the fly into an elephant and why. Telling the truth is desirable, but sometimes not advisable. He just forgot it and didn't think about it. What women I know, if they are like you, they will not be alive, what they did.
It would be fairest to tell him, in his place I would like to know, BUT in such situations it is almost never about the feelings of the other, but about the needs of the offender. You admit it and you lose it, but you don't want that. The truth is that I would keep quiet too ... Years ago something similar happened to me, my friend heard from third people. I was terribly scared, I was about to explode with anger at what I had crushed. I made, cost and plastered the situation. I learned my lesson the hard way and now I dare not move because I can't lose it. I didn't feel particularly guilty, to be honest ... There were many moments when he hurt me too, so I accepted that we were even.
Be silent when you say you will only lose and one day you may realize that you have been given horns G.35
You have nothing to say, you are young, maybe this is not the man for you, how old is he? Wait a year, family life is not a song.
In my opinion, you should be silent, because a year has passed and no one has understood, so you should not understand. You will only create problems. I, like you, have a friend and I had written about sex with a boy, but only a chat, nothing more and I was sick anyway and I told my best friend and she said it made no sense for once a chat to tell him and to ruin your relationship. I advise you the same now. Only that at 21 it is too early to get married. Before 25 this decision is too final, live together, get engaged, but do not get married. When you are pushing another boy, it means that you do not love your friend madly. you loved him enough, you wouldn't push yourself with someone else, think about it. Maybe this boy shouldn't be your husband. Wait until 25 and if you still want, get married, but don't hurry, you're young.
I've always enjoyed these "ONLY" kisses. He made me ONLY French, there was no penetration. Or "it was ONLY" once..Only for euros 99.99.
No, don't say.
First, consider getting married. If there was a thrill with someone else, maybe it's not your husband. Second, don't tell him!
Do him a favor and admit to him what rubbish you are. For infidelity it is not necessary to reach penetration.
Once you get married, you will easily overcome the passion for a colleague. You will start looking for a wedding dress, this is a very pleasant activity. I tell you from personal experience. There is such a wide choice and so gorgeous models that you will have a hard time ... The wedding requires a lot of preparation. This will fully engage you. You will forget your colleague without much effort. Success!
Horror, you're not a jerk. You better make a living and when you know what you want, then get married.
Do not say.
It's over, you've left this job, you don't have to hurt the person next to you and risk your future. Try to forget about it and leave it in the past.
Remorse will not stop alone. And if you have them, then you are a person with dignity. Share this with your friend I hope he will understand and accept it. And you will be clean in front of yourself.
Tell him the truth. If he is a real man, he will appreciate your honesty.
First consider whether to marry. If you push yourself from now on, what will happen if the routine comes to you? In the end, your future children will take it again. Second, everyone deserves to have an informed choice about who to marry. If you hide now, he will be fucked, because it can affect his choice. Tell him to judge for himself. And without it, it may not be good if you don't get married. A man who loves has no eyes for another. Apparently he is not your man or you just don't get up for a long-term relationship, and with time and routine it won't get any better, no matter how much you are convinced now that you love him. Maybe it's better to separate now than to have children.
If you really loved the man, you wouldn't throw yourself at someone else.
If there was no sex, it didn't happen who knows what, but with this susceptibility, it's better not to marry the man you supposedly love very much. If you loved him, you wouldn't be pushing other men. If you tell him, there will be no wedding, and if there is a wedding, it will be worse for him. It's best to tell him to decide for himself what to do. In this way you will wash your guilty conscience, and he will show if he loves you and if he will swallow the bitterness. I can't understand if women are insatiable, that they want so much. Married with 20 years of marriage, I understand them to some extent, but young people who seem to love each other very much, even before marriage, stagger, I do not understand. Save him the harassment, this is my advice!
You are 21 years old, what is your marriage for? That sounds so stupid and naive to me. Better live on a family basis. It's too early for you to get married, too early. CONGRATULATIONS that you have left your job. And let it be a lesson for you not to do such things with colleagues. In my opinion, DON'T tell him, because your relationship will become AD! Definitely don't tell him. An acquaintance of mine also admitted her life and it became impossible and left her husband that she and her mother were a small child! Don't even think about telling him or anyone else. It's been a while, and don't be in such a hurry to get married so young. Helga
Oh, chick, I can't tie myself to your fictional conscience at all. That here even super-goodness is earned by some ... Where has this conscience slept for a year and a half? Very convenient, in the style of "I have principles, you don't like them ... I have others", I have a conscience, come on, I won't have this year. You don't seem to love this man. You cheat on him, you lie to him for a year and finally, that's how you decide to hurt him to make you feel better. May God protect me from such love and sincerity.
May God protect me from such women who love me, I can protect myself from those who hate me.
Everyone is wrong, it's good at least that you stopped on time. Think things through very well - if you are sure that such a thing will not happen again, because it really sucks - imagine your friend "only" kissing and crushing another, how will it be up to you? So if you are sure that you will not repeat such nonsense - keep quiet and move on with your friend. Infidelity is a disgusting thing with sometimes terrible consequences.
Either way, you have to tell him. Otherwise you will have such remorse in you all your life and you will not live fully. And how he will react, I think he will forgive you
22 says it briefly and clearly. I also think so. I think you're with him, simply because you're probably one of those people who can't live without being bound. It's best to leave him and look for someone you really want to be with. You don't need to tell him what you did. But realize that you will certainly still want to do it if possible, if you stay with your current friend, because you do not love him, but he is just comfortable with you. Try to put yourself in his place and think about whether you will be okay.
You will ruin your marriage. Shut up and forget.
Hello, everyone . I love you very much, I can't live without him. That's why I quit my job, took my half and it will never happen again. I can't imagine life without him. And I think I'll shut up, that'll be best, I can't hurt him. I've never done anything like this before, it was the first and last time. Thanks to everyone for the tips. From the author!
I have never looked at another. He is everything to me, I made a mistake, but I love him very much and I do not want to lose him. From the author!
You never looked at anyone else, you just "pressed" and kissed. Well, are you pushing yourself without looking at him? She didn't want to hurt him, but she was kissing someone else. You acted like a pussy and instead of at least now acting like a male girl to admit and give him the right to make an informed choice, you act like a pussy again and last with the hope that you will get away with it. Okay, but what you sow, you will reap. This will come back to you one day. If you have made a mistake, at least be honest and take responsibility, this is a dignified and correct act towards him. Explain to him that it was an accident, that you were wrong, ask him for forgiveness. This man will still take you for a wife, will make you children, he deserves honesty. Let him forgive you if he wants to, but at least you will be aware and there will be no deceived and deceived. But you still prefer to act unworthily. In the end, they didn't fuck you, they just pushed you, maybe he'll forgive you. if you don't tell him, you will torture yourself, because your conscience will linger all your life, if you have one. Everyone can be wrong, but at least have the dignity to be honest and responsible. Do you really want your marriage to happen through silence and infidelity? One day, if your marriage lasts for about 40 years, will you feel proud that you managed to hide important information from him and kind of lured him to get married? Wouldn't it be better for your marriage to have happened as a result of honesty and openness? It's easiest to hide something while luring the person to take us, but is that the right thing to do? Wouldn't it be much worse if he learned it ex post facto? Won't it hurt your conscience? Is it fair to him? Or it doesn't matter, as long as you managed to lure him and achieve your goal and your ass was saved without risking being left behind? If you really regretted and regretted, you would say. You worry that it will not be heard and that there will be no consequences for you. This is living selfishness - ostensibly to deceive the other that everything is fine, so that I don't fuck myself. At least it will be easier for you and you will be clear in front of your conscience that you admitted the mistake and did not continue with the lies. And if he loves you and believes that it will not happen again, he will forgive you. that you admitted your mistake and did not continue lying. And if he loves you and believes that it will not happen again, he will forgive you. that you admitted your mistake and did not continue lying. And if he loves you and believes that it will not happen again, he will forgive you.
Author, whether you keep silent or not, things are obvious - you threw yourself at the first sweet talker. No man will be pleased with this, nor will he think that you love him and that he can count on you. A lost cause.
I find it very strange that they advise her to be silent. It is as if this erases the act itself. The very fact that she has been pressed does not speak well of the feelings she has for a person she has been with for 4 years. But apparently people are on the principle that infidelity does not count, as long as it is not known.
37, yes, I've watched interviews with killers and they think so. They do not regret the act itself, but that they were caught. If they hadn't been caught, they wouldn't have realized they had done something wrong. On this principle are the infidels. If it can be so smeared, not understood and everything is fine, nothing bad has happened. He doesn't know and he won't be hurt, what's the problem? The typical joke of infidels is "I will not spoil my family / relationship," only "we will fuck and that's it". It is as if the relationship is no longer broken, as soon as infidelity has occurred at all, and it was just pressure. Once you get there, then the problem is not infidelity itself, but somewhere deeper. Infidelity is just a symptom. I'm not saying that murder is like infidelity, but there are many similarities between the thinking of a murderer and an infidel.
I hope you lose it;) Brother.
38 of 37 I have encountered similar thinking and remarks before. Men who are engaged have flirted with me or my girlfriends. But otherwise they love their girlfriends very much, they are faithful men, they will never cheat. And they openly wanted to pressure me and made me quite juicy hints. One of his girlfriends was our colleague. When I threatened to tell her, she immediately began to pray to me, to fall to her knees, if only she didn't know and didn't abandon him. That was his main problem - not to dump him, not to take me down. I sincerely felt sorry for the woman because she was with such a duplicitous man. As a relationship doesn't work, you break up. There is no point in insidious stories without the other person understanding. If you respect him as a person, you sit down and tell him. Yes, you will separate, he will hate you, but he has every right to be with a person who will not push on the corners with others.
Have you ever heard that lying is a sin? You lied to him with your actions and now you continue to hide the truth, in the name of winning him for a husband, to have a marriage and a family from him, children !!! This is a lie and a substitution of reality for personal gain! To guess a person from people like you !!!
The author, you are a person who cannot be trusted - unworthy, cowardly and mean. It may have been the first time, but I doubt it will be your last. Too bad for your friend, but I hope one day he will return your infidelity. There is retribution and everyone gets what they deserve. You may have missed it now, but when something is built on deception and meanness, it can't end well.
He has the right to make his own informed choice. You can stay together, you can split up. But he has a choice, and you have a clear conscience. Good luck and the situation to develop in the best way for everyone! F32
It doesn't matter if the colleague melted the pepper or not. You have cheated - an indisputable fact. If she loved her boyfriend so much and was serious about her relationship, you wouldn't let them flirt with you, let alone push and kiss you. The bottom line is that you either don't care about your boyfriend or you don't get into a serious relationship at all right now. Admit it and if you're really sorry, tell your friend. But if you plan in the next similar case to let yourself be taken down again and the like - let the boy look for a suitable girl. Because of performances like yours, most men are prejudiced against the fairer sex.
You are talking here about some of your connections and projections. This girl feels bad after a year of posting this topic and she hasn't slept with the man, she's young. It is a mistake to attack a young, inexperienced person like that. Comparing her act to murder is a pathology. Girl, you have learned a lesson and as long as you have suffered for all this, forget about the case and be happy. If you tell your friend, he probably won't believe you didn't sleep with the man, that it's all over. You will mix a mess that will ruin your relationship. A year has passed. Stop, forget and start thinking about your new life after that.
I would like to add that I have no connection with this colleague. And I will never have .It was and will never happen again, I just liked it as a person .. There is a huge difference between liking and love .. I can't tell my friend .. I don't want to lose it .. Thanks to all who supported me as well as those who rebuked me. From the author
The woman left her husband, she could fight with both of them. And the man in question, he may have had one. That is, one does not always resist the temptation, even just mentally we all cheat.
Author, if you listen to 8 and 9, then your job is lost. These sludges and I am prejudiced that they fucked and kept quiet like that and even now they are doing it, that's why they tell you not to tell him. Um, little one, if I were to tell the man, let him decide what to do with you. I personally would slap you a lot. Because this is both an emotional betrayal and a physical one. Tell him, don't be silent like a dried-up well. It's for your own good! Garo
As long as you've already reproached me .. I'm sorry I shared it with you .. Don't blame me that it could happen to you too .. And I'm not some whore to offend .. I have dignity .. This is my life, you don't decide whether I will get married or not !!! Thank you though, and I want to say that then I was arguing with my friend .. We were in a very bad relationship and so I was wrong, I will never repeat it .. and let me know I will marry him and I will not tell him, because and he made mistakes ... Someone had even told him, but I smoothed the situation and everything is ok .. We love each other terribly ...
"Someone even told him, but I smoothed the situation and everything is ok. This shows your thinking. If you blur, then everything is 6 points. I still did not understand why he asks us whether to tell him, like you anyway from the very In the beginning you decided to lie and hide to the hole. You wanted to say "big leek, they've been looking for you, you last", but a nut. If your conscience allows it, you're lying, but remember that everything goes back to someone moment and usually at the most inopportune. But when it comes back to you, you will not say that you deserve it, but you will still roar what a victim you are. The bad thing is that it is usually taken by innocent people like children. barat, what will happen at 40 when you get into a routine?
Author, the very fact that you are lying to him is a betrayal. Your relationship will not survive, not because you have stumbled, but because you are hiding. Trust is one of the most important things and with behavior you destroy any chances to build one. Even if you get married, you will not endure it, because a guilty conscience will not leave you alone. Secrets are what will ruin your relationship.
Thanks to N48 .. I will never say it again thank you!