Hello, dear people who are reading this site. I am a 21-year-old girl and I will try to tell as well as I can to formulate my problem so that it does not turn out as if I am in a crisis at the average age of 21. I will start with the fact that in the last 6 years, since I went out with boys, I have experienced many emotional holes, many, many failures. I have only one "successful" relationship behind me, which lasted 1 year and several months and after that almost everything is a wreck. I say one because it may be the only one in which I have experienced real emotions, strong and healthy, and with which I have been reciprocated on the other side. While now I just feel like I'm mentally dead. And I can't live with the fact that there seems to be nothing in me anymore. Once I realized that I didn't need anyone, things went downhill. At the same time, I want to have someone by my side, not as background noise, but really some understanding and how to call it - a common rational path, not just sex and various ligatures. I don't want to sound arrogant, but in order to stand next to me you have to be quite ... special. It's not about cohabitation (I don't think I'll ever be ready to swallow to cause this), I want to be at home, I'm at ease, I don't feel ok in someone else's house. I ruled out that the relationship made sense to me. It even touches on ordinary friendships. Gone are those deep vows of fidelity and devotion that they once were. And don't get me wrong, I'm not a sociopath, anti or antisocial by nature. I've definitely never been like that by nature, but in the last year and a half I have to - I try to somehow protect myself from all the bullshit that pours in all directions, because I just can't stand it. From which it is understood that I rarely go out anymore, I have no environment for a number of reasons (it took me a long time to break away from society, to think and rest).
I love talking to people, I could say that men like me, not much, but there is almost no one with whom we have become close and something has not happened ... complicated (of course). I always try to help with what I can and with what I have, very often people listen to what I recommend them to do, even for small things, I observe that I have some influence. You will say "ha, another league that has not yet officially come out of puberty and has started thinking and talking about the serious things in life" - no one will pay attention to me that I'm really tired and that I don't care about nonsense. I lose interest very quickly, I get out very quickly when I see that in the long run I will only waste my time and lead to more serious damage - in short, I can judge my battles. My heart and soul are numb and do not trust anyone. I feel like a donkey on a bridge sometimes. Probably deep inside, but really deep down I'm afraid to relax and not think about these complexities and banalities that I lock in my head, but when I see how shallow they are, I feel bad. It may be depression, it may be a search for the non-existent, but I know it's always the same - I see how unworthy they are and how simple things they can't afford to do and I draw everything. Is it depression, is it high self-esteem, I don't know but if I can do things like people like keep my word, be punctual and honest, be organized on the spot, both emotionally and materially, then so can others. I always approach the above "methods" first, and only because it is me. I live modestly - I rarely waste, I don't keep a lot of things, everything is taken home, except for the books and that makes my soul calm. Not to mention that every time I start reading the thing in my heart I read it between the lines, it's as if the book knows how I feel, or I just look too much through my prism and realize that the sheets of paper understand me . I don't deny that I'm a rather strange bird, but one thing I can say for sure - a few years ago, when I was in high school, it wasn't like that with people. Now everything is wild, everyone clings to his own, what's left for someone to sit down to understand with me: D Anyway, I plan to stop here before it becomes super, super complicated and I hope someone will be able to give some clear picture and if you can ... without attacks and insults :)
Answers 22
As I read "Special" for you, a "special" man will not be found. Look for a capricious and narcissistic - you will fit;)
Congratulations! You are not the only one, I also think like you! A 22-year-old boy with the difference that I have found a subjective explanation for the ignorance of people by calming the eternally seeking mind of my mind with the simple phrase what to expect a thinking person dares to call himself an intelligent man from a herd of expressionless individuals without identity and guided by primary instincts .. how to reveal your soul in front of a character who does not have the ability to listen and process information adequately .. how to build an emotional connection with someone for whom the most important is the material and there is no concept of morality and values .. but who knows there are always exceptions;)
There are passengers for every train! If you think that you have high requirements, we are not talking here, about character, but about material, to have a well-paid job, serious, etc. reduce these criteria, this does not guarantee love, but what is someone for you who besides good job and income offers nothing else. If this is also important for you in this regard, reduce your requirements. If it's up to the character to hold the reins tight, there are decent men in place, but they are few, which means still looking for them. You read books, you don't drink, so you don't need an alcoholic who hates books, and someone like you who will read between the lines, it's important not to read, it's important to be able to think, to be nice and a man on the spot. I was like you after relationships with men who had not made a living and especially the one that lasted 3 years. and 6m. in lies. He dated the ugliest women, who could exist and did not even take off, but sought sex. A beautiful one could not sound arrogant, but really no one could step on my little finger. He never liked them, but he was a womanizer, everyone around me is like that, they have girlfriends, but they lie, they cheat. I just lost faith and realized that I was better off on my own. Some cheat, others do not have their own opinion, others do not have a gram of brains, cheap dumps, cheap men, I just stood there and wondered, beautiful and extremely stupid. At one point I distinguished them all like that, women and illiterate bloated uncles where you have no mind even at the age of 5, and my mother watches the others and I can't call them men, because their mothers control the lives of men for about 30 years. It's not normal for me, and a lot of people tell me I'm very mature, I fix the lives of a lot of people for my age, and in my complete mess. I decided that I would never find the perfect one, I would never fall in love, even the handsome men who took me down did not attract me because they were extremely superficial. But, still time passed and I took to meet men who are not beautiful, rich, etc. but are real, men in place. They themselves offer help, intelligentsia, etc. still exist, and after so many disappointments and examples I was obviously blinded and did not believe that they existed, I did not give a chance and maybe I did not meet them for that. You will fall in love, you will meet him, now, in time - when the time comes, however, if you have big criteria regarding salary, education - do not look for these qualities, it is not the most important thing when you look for love. Many unfortunates, don't worry, you have no problem - you need time and the right person, when you meet him or shake off the experience, everything will change:
Yes, first of all, to say that I am a man and because many women have a psychological profile like yours, I do not take them very seriously and I do not bother at all and do not compromise. By a psychological profile like yours, I mean that instead of trying to please and make an effort to gain and retain attention, they sit on the sidelines and judge, weigh and consider themselves special, they are actually daffodils. The typical thing about daffodils is that they want to receive and not give. They want attention, they want others to deal with their problems and feelings, they want others to be perfect and loyal to them and they themselves are not loyal, they are capricious and too absorbing. In general, they expect an unbalanced and selfish communication from which they can only receive. Normal people when communicating expect normal giving and receiving relationships and as daffodils increase, people no longer want to give without receiving immediately because they have already been scalded and the daffodils complain that there is no one left to tie them up and deal with them. This situation is now more widespread, because when normal people initiate contact and behave well, expecting the same and deepening intimacy, daffodils do not respond with the same but say that they do not owe them anything and that good attitude is implied by only itself and that means nothing. Accordingly, people forgot about the good attitude, because it is not valued and everyone concentrates on themselves. The problem with daffodils is that they need attention, but now it is missing and what can they do? They may complain and say what daffodils are, but they lack attention because people have become different. It is normal for people to be different with people who do not have a normal and balanced attitude but are selfish and narcissistic. The solution is for daffodils to stop being daffodils and start giving themselves away in one relationship instead of just waiting for attention from others and dealing only with them, if not then accepting their current situation.
Number 4, by the author: Will there be a sentence that does not contain the noun "narcissus"? It is obvious that you did not understand anything from the story. To the others - I don't know why you think I want a man with money ?! I want a man with MIND and attitude, nothing else matters.
When you start at 15, that's what happens. The truth is that you think you are tired and very smart and you are looking for Mr. Special, but you have been deceived. If I'm a man I won't look, sorry
To the author from number 3: If you are referring to me, I did not mean that you are looking for money, but simply if you are the type of woman who wants stability and a well-off man - that should remain in the background. And I didn't say it to make you sound material, but because you pointed out that you have a good job, you have expectations from the man, and I explained that it's not the most important thing. Only I didn't mean that you are looking for this :) And, for the mind and the attitude, I have already told you - you are looking to the last! To and, for number 4: The man has no idea where to put some elementary commas in his idiotic sentences, and you pay attention to him. Daffodils, birds and bees, she gave a mind, and he / she doesn't even have one for himself. Before "for", "yes" repeat of and, between two simple sentences - if he knows what they are, but connect with a comma to make it complicated! Not just like the daffodils in your head! Apart from "che" and "because", the comma is used in many other places! I quote only part of the lack of basic education: "instead of trying to please and make an effort to gain and retain attention, they" - wow, and you give people a reason? Things you learn in first grade! "Yes" "yes" is well listed 1000, YES and where did you forget those commas? At least you list things - Horror! Before "a", "who", etc. - a comma is also written! From who and who - there is also a difference! Daffodils, daffodils, and what has daffodils got to do with repeating 10 times in a "sentence"? You probably don't know what a daffodil is - and not for sure, but obviously! Share it now, what are you up to? That something is wrong with your job. More stupid and illiterate comment, I had not seen! I'm not a great literate, often in a hurry and I forget to put somewhere or make mistakes, but yours are from top to bottom! You're obviously on something - as soon as you intervene daffodils, as soon as you understand them - Thank you :)
From number 3 again: Author and number 2 does not say that you are looking for money, but that others are like that. Most of them are spoiled, shallow, superficial - you understand me, that's why it's difficult. The man explained it to you. You are intelligent and a simple person has nothing to impress you - stupidity, does not impress the smart :) He acts first as a signal, can not think, listen, understand - nothing. So upside down, as I said, there are passengers for every train - just watch out, don't miss it or catch the wrong one!
Dear God, what did I read !? !? !? Do you, author, have at least a vague idea of what you want from life or just find another platform to ask for attention? I can't even fight the black dots in your whole speech, but I will try: - You say that you don't need a relationship, that they are meaningless, that you are an independent, strong, emancipated woman, then what is the whole post about? -Not worthy of you, that you are a goddess of beauty. -At 21 you are "tired", you see. That what experience should a woman have to "get tired" at this age. And whether a valuable man will deal with a woman with such experience. -You don't want to live together, but what do you want - to live alone, and for him to come when you want sex and a tampon for your emotional menses? -The dream man must be special, that is, to meet some of your subjective requirements, in addition to the standard for every woman (tall, beautiful, rich, with 25 cm x * y, etc.) -Your entire post is a huge unrelated thought, permeated with, you guessed it, NARCISM. Get aware of a little - I'm dumb to read 10 sentences from you, what's left to kill 1-2 hours of my talk time. You are not special, you are not great, and no one in this world owes you 5 cents. Judging by how absorbed you are in yourself, you are obviously beautiful and you get a very special treatment because people want to fuck you. From there to there you are a full cap. Just like you, they stand alone for 35 years and explain that there are no men. Regards, Heisenberg what's left to kill 1-2 hours of my talk time. You are not special, you are not great, and no one in this world owes you 5 cents. Judging by how absorbed you are in yourself, you are obviously beautiful and you get a very special treatment because people want to fuck you. From there to there you are a full cap. Just like you, they stand alone for 35 years and explain that there are no men. Regards, Heisenberg what's left to kill 1-2 hours of my talk time. You are not special, you are not great, and no one in this world owes you 5 cents. Judging by how absorbed you are in yourself, you are obviously beautiful and you get a very special treatment because people want to fuck you. From there to there you are a full cap. Just like you, they stand alone for 35 years and explain that there are no men. Regards, Heisenberg
№6, I'm the author and I haven't read anything meaningful, except for some groundless hatred, probably from an old one .... What was the connection with the fact that I "started" at 15? Some start earlier, others do not start at all: D
See here you can find the answers ... google ... apocryphal academy:)) ... that the rules do not allow to lean address .. and Calm down ok :))
Author: The next illiterate moralists - obviously just my post will not happen to commentators, because I will say it once again: it takes subtlety to get things done, and the commenters so far are still superficial and ... illiterate. Number 3: I have never bothered so much to read any text with these commas, which you claim to know where they are placed, but you actually have your own personal punctuation system for the Bulgarian language. What can I tell you about his empty "female standards", as Heisenberg put it - well, dear people, I'm NOT looking for a man with money and education, they come by themselves. All the men (95%) with whom I interacted / were friends / were together were intelligent, well-read, and there were people with a lot of money. But I understand that it is difficult for you to understand that these things do NOT interest me. I understand that it is different from the social "norm" and cannot be accepted so easily. I am NOT looking for them, they come to me on their own, mainly maybe because they are not in my interest at all, I am looking for something else, specific - ATTITUDE and psychological attitude to life, CHARACTER. Things that are less common than the famous material condition :) Number 11 - you are proof that men are more vicious than women. You are relatively simple and superficial, you are also sarcastic and vicious, given that you have neither seen me nor know ME PERSONALLY, you inflict quite severe insults for no reason. I would say that everything is based on fear in you. And just like you do everything contrary to what they say and thus prove how they are at the bottom, that is - a round zero. I am afraid that is the situation here. However, it is never too late to tighten up and realize things. I say I'm tired of what's on offer. I did not say at all that anyone owes me anything. And, yes, people like me at 35 are alone at home in front of the computer, because THEY KNOW THE PRICE and refuse to destroy themselves emotionally and physically because of some pigs EXACTLY like You. But at least they feel GOOD, because humanity is so bad at the moment that I even dare to say that back in the centuries they lived better :) I have no desire to respond to scathing comments anymore. because they KNOW THE PRICE and refuse to destroy themselves emotionally and physically because of some pigs EXACTLY like you. But at least they feel GOOD, because humanity is so bad at the moment that I even dare to say that back in the centuries they lived better :) I have no desire to respond to scathing comments anymore. because THEY KNOW THE PRICE and refuse to destroy themselves emotionally and physically because of some pigs EXACTLY like you. But at least they feel GOOD, because humanity is so bad at the moment that I even dare to say that back in the centuries they lived better :) I have no desire to respond to scathing comments anymore.
Hahahaha author, I read the post, the comments above and across only. Welcome to the world of "blood of the gods" (for the primitive, de) DNA goddess rh-, look for and you will find the answers to your questions. Those here, the "others" will not understand you. But you always have them! At the very least, I guarantee you a second allele, but active ... Cut it and everything will fall into place;) There is no way to speak "one language" with macaques and get along, off, proven!
I'm 4 - Ha, the author has grasped grammar and punctuation like a letter eater. I tried to bring to your mind the problem of narcissism, and that's why I've repeated it so many times, but you obviously don't want to understand the situation. I will explain it in simpler words. Your problem, in short, is that you are arrogant, pretentious, think of yourself as special, and expect too much attention and consideration from others without giving them anything in return. Of course this doesn't work and that's why you're complaining. This is in short. The solution is also briefly as follows - you have to learn to give, to invest, to rejoice, etc. instead of standing idly by and waiting for others to fulfill some of your imaginary criteria.
11 to the author: Don't you think that when out of 15 comments 10 are against you and 3 are yours, maybe the problem is not in the commenters. Besides, you're the one who uses insults and definitions, not me. You are also the one who profiles me and describes how I act without knowing me. "I say I'm tired of what's on offer." - Well, then take matters into your own hands and look for something else, instead of just waiting to be offered. "I'm looking for something else, specific - ATTITUDE and psychological attitude to life, CHARACTER" - This statement does not make sense: Everyone has an attitude and attitude to life and everyone has a character, the question is exactly what you want. Obviously the answer is unclear for you too. "And, yes, people like me at 35 are alone at home in front of the computer, because THEY KNOW THE PRICE" - they think they know the price but do not realize that they are caught by inflation. Anyway, I wish you success in finding the prince on a white horse with "ATTITUDE and psychological attitude to life, CHARACTER", but something tells me that even if you do not measure him, he will not linger long. : D Oh, good health!
№15, explain it a bit, please, I can't figure out what exactly it is :)
"The way to yourself" - it is certainly early at 21-22 to try to feel, think and realize it, but once you get there - at least try. Because of the claim "I can't find the special one", "the same thing is offered", etc. I thought to pass you by and not comment ... but I think you need help because you sound like an intelligent girl to me. Define as leading 2 qualities that you are looking to see / find in the boy for you: tall and intelligent, intelligent and funny, with a sense of humor and common hobbies / interests, someone to adore you (don't you want attitude ...?) , without doing something special for this, etc. However, do not ask for everything together, because you do not offer all the extras, which and whatever you are .. - I hope you understand me .. or to put it more roughly - no men with golden dicks,
Author - you suffer from excessive pride. Swallow your ego and think about why people here react negatively to your post. Instead of learning a lesson, you react defensively. It is clear that you are still young and have no life experience, but this behavior will not bring you anything good. In real life, you will simply be ignored because no one will waste time giving advice to a spoiled and ungrateful child. You are waiting for the prince on a white horse and you have too many requirements, and, as far as I can tell from what has been written so far, you are too heavy, you do not accept criticism and you do not want to compromise. If you don't want to change, get used to being alone.
H 18 is looking in other languages for almost nothing in Bulgarian. Let's say in English - rh negative blood type. In Spanish, German, Russian too. They are still trying to pass it off as a "secret", although geneticists and others have been forced to admit at least half ... but they still don't know much.
Author, what was the reason for this serious relationship of yours to end?
I am left with the impression that the author has a rather poor life - not in a material sense, but in terms of imagination and interests. You eat, you exist, you read some "smart" books and that's it. The rest of the time you think about princes and their absence. Take a deep look at something, find meaning in your life and along with your activities you can meet someone imperceptibly. You can't just stand there and think, "I want to have someone." I suspect that they like you in your imagination, but in reality you are on the verge of beautiful-ugly and you just pass as colorless for most.
The author: I had said that I would no longer respond to your empty and vicious attacks, but as I look there is something to be said. If I had written something good, there would still be 60-70% negative comments like "this is a fabrication", "you didn't do this, this and this" - there will always be remarks for the simple reason that the mentality to the Bulgarian it is such - to envy, to deny, to draw conclusions without having seen, or only not heard, unfounded malice, an exceptional complex, always finding flaws. This is clear to all of us :) Seeing someone with a little more self-esteem immediately jumps to crush him to inflate his ego - I know these, I've watched them enough, endured, played, etc. A crumb to have moreover, he will take out your eyes if he does not. The table is understood only by bad. Hey, it's you. Just think how much you have to be at the bottom to think that fair treatment is evil, I don't have these videos, one has to be on top, the other has to stand low and listen and perform - there is no such thing as " stronger "and" weaker ". How you treat others is very indicative of yourself, but these are other topics. The last thing I do is be an arrogant bastard with confidence in heaven. Just because I'm a serious person on the ground doesn't mean I'm mean, bloated, or anything else I've listed above. The fact that I NO LONGER please the minds of some simpletons who absolutely do not know where they are and what they want from their lives is absolutely my right :). Here comes the question of not judging people for what they have become as a result of certain circumstances. I could say that for a long time I clenched my teeth to keep myself and my former self, so as not to become what I SOUND now (namely in large doses more suspicious, distrustful, closed), but when you are crushed, underestimated, humiliated, ridiculed, insulted, BEATEN for so long for what you THINK, well, I apologize a lot, but I deserve everything that is happening right now, and the tone and thoughts, even more so what is to come, and it's not good at all.
And despite, and in spite of everything, I haven't completely become a classic bastard, to make you dirty out of nothing and who always tries to fuck you and makes his ok. My attitude towards myself and my attitude DESPITE EVERYTHING to others is almost equal, I say almost, because things cannot be 1: 1. I wrote that I am not a socialite, anti or antisocial and that I always try to help as much as I can (my biggest mistake ever), I NEVER stand aside to "weigh" things on the scales, "to stand aside", but in response to this only №2 has understood what is meant in this whole story. There is simply NO one left for you to try to be "attractive, fun, to keep your attention" :) I have a job, thank you for your concern - in the near future I will graduate :). As for what books I read - it's my job, but I'm convinced that I read what I MUST; Am I beautiful / ugly - there is no way for any of you to be objective, because you have not seen me, which also says a lot about yourself. I don't know what the exact indicator should be, but if 30 men pay attention to me and they are just like that, then there is something (yes, yeah, "who doesn't like to fuck young girls, blah blah" - I won't give detailed information, but I stopped allowing them too; draw any conclusions you wish on this issue). The problem is that MASSIVELY are impersonal to me and I was wondering what is wrong with ME, this is the main thought of the story. "You are waiting for the prince on a white horse and you have too many requirements, and, as far as I can tell from what has been written so far, you are too heavy, do not accept criticism and do not want to compromise." - quite the opposite, №20, but quite the opposite. I have noticed that I am among the few individuals who CAN tolerate criticism (not envy and malice, but criticism!), And can learn from their own mistakes and the mistakes of others. I'm not a heavy character you can't say a word about, but I think I've figured that out enough so far. I'm not waiting for any prince, and you see, because such does NOT exist. All I wanted to say in this story is that no elementary attitude can be found, and instead there is always some imaginary "problem." However, you will not say and show how much you like me, and at the same time you are neither convinced of it, nor do you know how to proceed, much less whether you will stay at all, etc. I always know what they think, I always know what they feel. , you do not need loud words or actions, just everything is felt even on a conscious level. It is also conscious that there is no point in explaining myself to primate beings. In conclusion, I can only thank you for the extremely subjective opinions and the fact that you do not have any capacity to interpret stories, but this primacy ... On the other hand, there is no way I can debate that there is at least a little rationality in the statements, because such a thing is not built with chaotic thoughts and reckless behavior, but with a lot of work on yourself, and people aged 40-50 (judging by your spelling and the way you handle a keyboard) can not have it brought up due to a number of factors. I hope you are not like that and realize that then it is hard for your children, hard for everyone around you at all ....