People consider me a very good person, I leave such an impression in them, which is not true. Sometimes it comes to me from the inside to be a good person, to help someone in need and I do it and then I feel good. But most of the time I'm "good" or I just keep some truth to myself, not because it comes from inside me, but because I care too much about other people's opinion, not to have fairs and so on. Sakun not to offend anyone, not to be considered a bastard, not to say that I summarize and what not. And that depresses me. Somehow I rape my feelings and emotions. I want to shout some things, but immediately a voice calls out to me, "Abe, are you crazy, then it will be confusing, how will you look the man in the eye later, what will they think of you." The second voice then counters, "Well, yes, but I'm tired of raping myself." In 99% of the cases, the second voice is accepted somewhere, agreeing that it is better to calm down, not to be thrown out of the social circle, that my mother taught me that - to be brought up, etc. Yes, it is certainly not good to give too much will to such emotions, but sometimes I feel like shouting, "Abe man, how can you be so simple and not see elementary things."
Or "you're a disgusting whore who has puffed up her lips with some shit and you think you're very beautiful, but you've become like my ass in my mouth, I'll drift off, I'm fed up with sheep following some stupid modern trends and my napping the dick that I summarize all the botox empty-headed palms sex dolls ". Or "hey, brazier, why don't you get a job or study something instead of thinking the state should feed you, fuck your mother, or, for example, when I see an ugly colleague making some clumsy hints to a colleague, I tell him "abe, look how ugly and clumsy you are, do you seriously think that this one will tie you up?" Or when someone writes a plural with "y" at the end, I come to shout "abe, fagot, how can you be so illiterate? Where did this IJ come from, when it doesn't even sound like that? And why has this been so widely confused lately? I would feel sorry for a jerk, but you became 99% in this country, well, fuck your mommy to fuck. "But to tell him straight in the eyes live. I can go on, but many people will recognize, and without that, they have already confessed and I will make a serious hatred, that's clear, they will accuse me of energy vampirism, etc.
But my thought is that when I hide like this, in order not to offend anyone, I somehow feel that my emotional energy is somehow suppressed and I feel depressed, I have no physical strength and energy and somehow I have no motive. I feel intuitively that I need to release this energy to move, not to be stagnant. And so to feel energetic, motivated and light. Something similar happens in the movie The Liar. Jim Carrey's character loses his ability to lie and be hypocritically honest, then begins to say straight in the eyes of his colleagues who's ass, who had a disgusting boil on his nose, who was fat, how unsatisfactory sex he had last night, however all this had serious consequences. And I both don't want them and I don't feel like saying them, and I can't suppress them anymore. And because I guess more or less in what direction they will attack me, from now on I say that I am not perfect. I'm short, bald, fat, ugly man with headlights. I'm greedy and I always want more money, but I don't feel like taking risks and starting a business. Another question is whether it is worth it. And that's why I go to an office for a decent salary, because I don't have balls for more. I'm super boring. Women have never shaved me for 5 cents. Recently, to my amazement, there were 4 women from work who tried to wonder what they liked about me, so I don't even have self-confidence, but all three of them are old, which is understandable, because a young woman will hardly like me.
And both of them are ugly as a cover. Come on, the one in the body is really very good and puts the 20-year-olds in her little pocket, but in order to have sex with her, I have to put a sack on her head. And the fourth bride has a lot of moles. You can see for yourself that pickiness, without having much choice, is also a bad trait of mine. This, that I judge too much too. But in the end, as it comes to me from within, does it make sense to force my perceptions. In fact, I've been doing just that for years - but I don't rape myself that way. And because I prefer not to tell all this to people, I decided to present it here and to be honest, I was relieved.
Answers 14
You have a desire to criticize. Most likely because you have been criticized too much as a child, and / or because you don't seem to like yourself very much. When you are criticized so much, for example, you can start criticizing where it really makes sense and useful - criticize parents who are aggressive towards their children. They are the people who really need the most criticism in my opinion and it makes great sense to be actively criticized by the whole society!
And what if you tell them directly ... what's the point. Everyone has chips to cut and no one is perfect. Behaving well with people is a part of life. You don't have to be rude. Good manners are always With this you can bring a good mood, smile at someone's day, raise someone's low self-esteem, make someone happy, etc. If you want to say something, do it with a sense of humor and in a fun way, not so that someone feels offended or humiliated and in no way strikes at his honor and dignity. I am also careful in my relations with people because by nature I have a sharp and sharp tongue and I can be bilious and ironic. But over time I realized that there is no point in attacking someone in this direct way, to put them in an awkward position ... even I feel sorry for them, I apologize to them and I put brakes in my thoughts and words ....
Most of these examples are not about a good / bad person, but things that you definitely can't comment on just like that. You have to not only see the silicone jukla, but also challenge you in some way. It's not easy to express your opinion, so this example is not accepted. But in general, kindness is not rewarded except in words. Oh, how decent and good a man he is ... And then "hey, he won't tell you anything (because he's a good man)" - kind of fuck him calmly. Or we will give him a low salary, he is still a good person (he will not stretch, he will remain silent).
What a good confession, there is a comic note in what is even written, there is a shout against injustice in life, there is self-irony. The relationship between people is a difficult and complicated thing, there is a whole bunch of characters. The important thing is for a person to fit in and live, to be himself and with human virtues. Sometimes I want to dig a hole in the woods and shout that King Trajan has donkey ears, like in that fairy tale, but I myself have shortcomings and I determine to some extent the behavior of others towards myself. So, everything seems to be in place.
I loved it. Well done! I think you have to write lyrics for rap songs. If you can rap, it will be great. You will arrange them strongly. And as advice I can tell you to relax and express your opinion sincerely, but without such cynicism. You can't please everyone, so don't try. Be yourself, so you will be respected. Now you are a kind of baker's shovel and you agree to everything, just not to get into a conflict or to hurt someone's feelings. With such behavior, no one will respect you.
Find an anonymous site and tell yourself these things there;) It will make it easier for you, and they won't consider you a BAD person;)) OPA! : РРР
Work on changing your attitude to certain situations. For example, something that irritates you in the other person, if you accept him as part of his world, and then transform the attitude itself. To stop thinking, to judge, to blame. Suppression of emotions can trigger schizophrenia and disorder. And emotions are a consequence.
Do you really believe that you are a good person? You have a very flourishing and cynical language, even if you haven't said it out loud, your thoughts are not of a good person. And your statements about how ugly some women are are also ... ugly. Not everyone - no matter a man or a woman, can be beautiful. This is a given. But in everyone you can see the beauty, in the mind, in the behavior, in the actions, and to like the person because of it. Then you will stop noticing just some features . At the moment, you are obviously only interested in appearance, I'm sorry, but for me you are not a good person, and you are not smart enough to realize.
8, is, yes de. I'm not a good person. That's what I am saying too. Apparently you haven't read it. That is exactly the topic. Well, at least I didn't go down without explaining myself first. :) Maybe you were mistaken that I wrote that people are left with this impression. To tell you the truth, I have no problem being a bad person. It was not my goal to be good. When it comes to me from the inside to be good, OK, but my bigger problem is that I don't feel like telling some people the things I think, just so there are no unnecessary conflicts. And more precisely, that it suppresses my emotions and I am not myself. By the way, there are no 100% good and 100% bad people. There are nuances. And last but not least, not all people agree on whether a trait or step is good or bad. So the problem of subjectivism in determining goodness also remains.
I think you don't like and accept yourself enough and that creates internal conflict in you. On the one hand, you are trying to be polite, to be someone "good". On the other hand - your accumulated internal aggression is trying to kill. In order to be in sync with your essence, you must accept yourself and not judge yourself. You do the best you can. You try not to hurt people with your opinion. This is wonderful. You feel like you weren't born to do business. There is nothing wrong. There are people who are not, but they do. Believe me, even if they win, then they fuck themselves and sink into debt. You don't like cool chicks because you don't like yourself. The attitude you have towards yourself is the attitude you will receive from others. Learn to like yourself. There is a booklet, Heal Your Life, by Louise Hay. If you want you,
10, I really don't like myself, but in my opinion, because as a child I was told too much that I was naive, introverted, green, feminine, etc. Every second word of my father was "woman", because he kept telling me how I should be a "man", how we should be strangers to him and be cold to me, because I should not be ankle. If I wanted to hug him, I couldn't, because that made my ankle. He told me with admiration how he and his own father had seen each other on the street and greeted each other, and that must have meant raising a son that way - with the coldness of becoming a "man." My mother loved the word "green." If I asked them why they give their last BGN 10 for beer, instead of eating them and not starving, it made me "green". Understand the ignorant and immature. So I grew up believing that I was a fucking idiot, that I thought hugging my father was a sign of pampering and femininity, and that eating was more important than smoking and cigarettes for ignorance. This led to introversion, because things that were obvious to me were subject to fierce criticism from supposedly mature people. I began to doubt all my convictions, and subconsciously I decided that I should think as others dictated, even if my soul screamed that it was wrong. This led to uncertainty as to whether my thinking was correct and to introversion as a result of my suppression of my own beliefs, no matter how unshakably logical they may seem. This caused a chain reaction, which was especially noticeable in high school. I closed in on myself, stopped communicating. Needless to say, I wasn't particularly attractive to girls. And all this was increasing avalanche, because it led to even more of the same. But at the same time, my demands on myself increased, with the idea of being more than them and proving to them that they were wrong. This only made me even more tense. By the age of 30, things had become unbearable, and I realized that some kind of catharsis was about to happen and I had to change everything abruptly. This catharsis was the realization that my inner aggression had to find a way to release me emotionally. It has to come out because I feel an intuitive wisdom that is overshadowed by all this mental noise. Instead of making people around me ass, I decided to share it here to get at least some of that mental noise out of me. From now on, I will be more aware and more honest with myself. I will be myself and I will tell things only to myself, I will not hide it on a subconscious level. It is.
Author, I'm number 10 :) I'm also an introvert, I've experienced somewhat similar things in school and high school. And lately I have similar thoughts as you. I go back and discover my parents' mistakes. I'm also 30 :) My problems are a little different, but similar. I have a rather depressed but strong anxiety that has haunted my life. However, the anger towards the parents (which was swirling in my head as well) does not lead to anything constructive. It does not help you change the situation, but you fall into a vicious circle. And let's put ourselves in our parents' shoes. Aren't they human too? children who were built as individuals by their own parents? Here is an example of your father - didn't his father make him like that? However, here is an advantage that both you and I have. We realize it. Therefore, if I may give you modest advice, as a man fighting his own "demons" .. Forgive his parents, they are just people. YOU think how to feel good here and now. And if one day you have children .. you already know what not to do :)
Go to a psychiatrist. Or just tighten up, because an awful lot of people in Bulgaria and around the world have received the wrong and bad treatment from their parents. I can only imagine what the comments would be if a woman complained that men didn't like her, and that there were still some men, 4 in number, who liked her, but you see, they were ugly, I don't know what they were. Mega condemning comments would pour in on this woman, no matter how heartbreaking she would describe her situation as a child.
In fact, you mean that sometimes it is difficult for you to behave civilly. You are not a bad person, you are even quite good, but there is a lot of malice and envy in you.