Hello! I decided to write here to get some unbiased opinions. I am a 25-year-old woman in a serious and happy relationship for 3 years, but for 5 years I have not stopped asking myself some questions about my ex and my relationship with him. We were 19, I was his first, he was my first. At first I didn't want to start a relationship because I wasn't ready, I had told him, and we were both aware. However, the boy made big gestures, I saw that he was in love and suffering, and I decided to give us a chance (I had no relationship and a friend before him, because my priority was learning and I did not want to be disappointed, but getting to know him I trusted). From the beginning of our relationship, he had my photos everywhere - on the background of his phone screen for 8 months, on the carpet and on his Facebook profile, comments from him with kisses, hearts, messages on my photos. I had never seen a boy show so much love or obsession with a girl before. Everything was normal until after the 8th month I accidentally told him about a boy who was in love with me, but went to study in Austria. He's been crazy ever since. He thought I was waiting for him to come back and that I was temporarily with him, he started to be jealous for no reason - the way I dress (tank top and shorts in the summer, nothing special), he started rummaging in my phone, yes he gives me an ultimatum to end my relationship with my best friend because he had second thoughts. It has completely changed. Despite the stupidity of being jealous, I could see that he was genuinely suffering, which led me to think that he really loved me. Things started to get worse and we parted with very bad words. He tried to contact me several times after that, but I told him that it made no sense (because 5 times before we had the same situation and he does not change) and to stop looking for me. And so it happened. The next day he started posting pictures of discos, how he was partying and almost how good he was despite what had happened. 3 months later I found out that he was in a new relationship that continues to this day. My question to you is, do you think that during our relationship (11 months) he was sincerely in love with me and loved me, or was it just an obsession that subsided at one point? Do you think that I was his true love, that he resigned himself to losing it and decided to move on, or just a moment of strong attraction ...? Did he forget me quickly and that's why he started a new relationship or did he start it to forget me? Thank you in advance for the comments! :) that it makes no sense (because 5 times before we had the same situation and it does not change) and to stop looking for me. And so it happened. The next day he started posting pictures of discos, how he was partying and almost how good he was despite what had happened.
3 months later I found out that he was in a new relationship that continues to this day. My question to you is, do you think that during our relationship (11 months) he was sincerely in love with me and loved me, or was it just an obsession that subsided at one point? Do you think that I was his true love, that he resigned himself to losing it and decided to move on, or just a moment of strong attraction ...? Did he forget me quickly and that's why he started a new relationship or did he start it to forget me? Thank you in advance for the comments! :) that it makes no sense (because 5 times before we had the same situation and it does not change) and to stop looking for me. And so it happened. The next day he started posting pictures of discos, how he was partying and almost how good he was despite what had happened. 3 months later I found out that he was in a new relationship that continues to this day. My question to you is, do you think that during our relationship (11 months) he was sincerely in love with me and loved me, or was it just an obsession that subsided at one point? Do you think that I was his true love, that he resigned himself to losing it and decided to move on, or just a moment of strong attraction ...?
Did he forget me quickly and that's why he started a new relationship or did he start it to forget me? Thank you in advance for the comments! :) The next day he started posting pictures of discos, how he was partying and almost how good he was despite what had happened. 3 months later I found out that he was in a new relationship that continues to this day. My question to you is, do you think that during our relationship (11 months) he was sincerely in love with me and loved me, or was it just an obsession that subsided at one point? Do you think that I was his true love, that he resigned himself to losing it and decided to move on, or just a moment of strong attraction ...? Did he forget me quickly and that's why he started a new relationship or did he start it to forget me? Thank you in advance for the comments! :) The next day he started posting pictures of discos, how he was partying and almost how good he was despite what had happened. 3 months later I found out that he was in a new relationship, which continues to this day. My question to you is, do you think that during our relationship (11 months) he was sincerely in love with me and loved me, or was it just an obsession that subsided at one point? Do you think that I was his true love, that he resigned himself to losing it and decided to move on, or just a moment of strong attraction ...? Did he forget me quickly and that's why he started a new relationship or did he start it to forget me? Thank you in advance for the comments! :) My question to you is, do you think that during our relationship (11 months) he was sincerely in love with me and loved me, or was it just an obsession that subsided at one point? Do you think that I was his true love, that he resigned himself to losing it and decided to move on, or just a moment of strong attraction ...? Did he forget me quickly and that's why he started a new relationship or did he start it to forget me? Thank you in advance for the comments! :) My question to you is, do you think that during our relationship (11 months) he was sincerely in love with me and loved me, or was it just an obsession that subsided at one point? Do you think that I was his true love, that he resigned himself to losing it and decided to move on, or just a moment of strong attraction ...? Did he forget me quickly and that's why he started a new relationship or did he start it to forget me? Thank you in advance for the comments! :) ? Did he forget me quickly and that's why he started a new relationship or did he start it to forget me? Thank you in advance for the comments! :) ? Did he forget me quickly and that's why he started a new relationship or did he start it to forget me? Thank you in advance for the comments! :)
Answers 14
This is a cordial relationship. Ask your heart, strangers would give explanations with their minds, but they cannot feel the truth.
He loved you. But this boy had a problem with his self-esteem. And I sometimes, as jealous as my husband, mentions another woman connected with him, and I begin to sink into jealousy and thoughts. He tried to apologize, to get along, but you played him what you expect him to do. This for discos is a desperate attempt to pretend to be interesting to get your attention. He must have suffered. And I don't know about the girl, there is no explanation for some things, they just happen. Personal example - I was in love with a man I met only for sex, about a year, over time the sympathy grew into falling in love because he was my colleague and I knew what he was like as a person. Well, I confessed my feelings and he played me. A few months later I met my husband, it didn't start our relationship with falling in love, dating, etc., but just for the benefit of both of us. To heal my broken heart and injured ego, he did his reasons ... Although in a relationship I still loved my colleague, but over time everything faded. So your ex got a new boyfriend to heal from you
What's the point of digging into something from five years ago, especially since you yourself said you were happy now? Hey, I just stood there and remembered or how? That we women are a terrible thing - feel a little better and calm in your relationship and you get so bored that you pick up teenage things? I bet if he calls you he'll run again.
He had feelings. Love like his is no less love than any other, but it is more toxic and rarely manages to last long and happily. Your ex was not ready to really give himself up, to love you with trust and freedom. His love was a little more selfish, so he was jealous of you, restrained you, and still seemed obsessed with you. The first more serious feelings are strange, you do not know what to do with them and how to express them, because you are afraid of everything. As a matter of fact, you didn't love him freely either, since the word "obsessed" came to mind about him at all. It is almost obligatory to have such a relationship with someone at least once in your life, so that you can then learn to appreciate, be patient, and even love. Years have passed and you still don't trust him to love you. You were with him, and he didn't trust you to want him.
If you ask yourself so many questions, then you are the one who still loves him. And the biggest revenge for an ex-boyfriend is for one to see how the other has really forgotten him. Don't expect anything from this person again. And when you still think about him, think about whether you really love your current one. I have heard that when a person truly loves someone, he forgets all the former ones and even thinks that they are nothing compared to the current one.
I think he loved you. Really. And the discos and the new relationship are on purpose - to give you back for the pain he experienced - not that you are guilty, you say that there was nothing wrong with you and the other.
Hey, women. Damn your mom. Stay on your ass and enjoy the relationship you have. But you can't, can you? Because you are nasty, envious witches. You don't love him, you're with him, that's clear. Otherwise, your ex would not pass through your mind at all. What can I tell you ... he saw that you weren't worth it and now he has another one. Which has no problem with what he is. He probably doesn't even talk about other men, but they enjoy each other.
He really loved you, but there are few complexes. And don't tell other guys about your boyfriends.
I experienced almost the same in the former - photos everywhere, how I am the most beautiful, how much she adores me and this until the moment when she started to go crazy for no reason at all. For my best friend, then for my colleagues, then for strangers watching me on the subway. Checks, surveillance, ultimatums and separation, because I couldn't take it anymore. Not that he didn't love. It's just that this type of people (sickly jealous) love it that way - suffocating, obsessive and just scrolling at one point. Glad you got rid of it, you can almost be sure that the situation is the same in his current relationship. It's a disease.
The line between falling in love and obsession is probably very thin. On the other hand, in those years, I think it's normal to overcome relationships quickly and find substitutes quickly. 11 months are not who knows how many. Don't think about it, keep going.
For me, such a thing is not an obsession, but borders on mental illness. I have experienced it on my back, many of my familiar girls too. It is not necessary for the person in question to behave in the same way in all previous or future relationships, you may even be the only one who for some reason unlocks this side of him, but in any case I do not find it normal. The ex, with whom we were together for 5 years and who broke me emotionally during his psychosis or whatever it is, found a new partner long before me, and supposedly because of me he would commit suicide, he would not look at another woman, etc. that we have been separated for 10 years, I know that he is asking mutual acquaintances about me, even though he himself is already married and has a child.
He loved you, the other was a substitute, to see how much he was wanted and how quickly he scored something. Kind of see how quickly I settled, and how much I love her, and who were you? Pure substitute. You were together for 11 months, and when he managed to forget you, when he fell in love with the other. He was just trying to erase the memory of you with the other. Discos are the same thing. He is devoted to life, entertainment, so as not to be left alone, and to think of you. Why did you cause him to look at his photos, his profile? I avoid looking at ex-boyfriends, I'll just get hurt to see the new one, how happy they are, where she goes. It's best not to know anything, because I'll just feel dumb. One piece of advice - don't do it, whether out of curiosity or not.
only he can answer the question. Here everyone will give a different assumption depending on their personal experience, attitudes and experiences, but only he can say what was going on in his head. The more important question is why do you care so much what he thought? What will shine on you if he loved you but experienced it or vice versa if it was not love? Whatever it was, it's over. Look ahead and don't dig it, so that something similar doesn't happen to the current one.
Whatever it is, it's over. What do you need it for? If you cared so much for each other, you would be together today. Look ahead, not back. No sense in telling you now - I don't wanna ruin the suprise. It will not lead you to anything good.