Hello dear friends, a 14-year-old girl writes to you .. I will be very happy if someone reads my story and gives me advice :) and I start ... It all started a long time ago .. my mother and father divorced. I have lived with her for a long time. She got married and has another child (a boy). My father too. She has two children. I have always felt superfluous. My mother won't let me do anything. I missed it. So I'll give you an example: My classmates go to discos (youth), and I was too young .. Why do the parents of the others let them go and I don't? She decides how to dress ... I have personal space .. She punishes me physically and mentally .. She cries every night and I pray things get better .. True, she loves me .. but why does she do things this way? Why is there such an approach? And my father? - very much different. When he found out about the cigarettes, he told me ...
Answers 16
Hello, dear child, I know that many of the adults here will find your problems stupid, but for me it is not. You yourself hinted at the decision you wanted - to live with your father. Have you talked to him about this, are there conditions for you to live with him? From the age of 10, you can generally choose which parent you will live with. Talk to your mother and with good, as you wish for yourself ,? say you just can't keep living with her. I wish you a lot of strength, but I'm sure that if you really want it, you will be able to go and live with your father. Laura
Hello! If you live with your father, there will be something else you don't like. You can try for a few months to see where you will be better. As long as your parents agree. You have to forget bad habits. It is no coincidence that they are called bad. For the clothes I can support you. You have to choose your clothes. Talk to your mother that you want to choose your clothes. As long as you are dressed warmly enough for the winter, there will hardly be any other objections. It is not easy when there are other children, especially when they are younger. They want more attention, but that doesn't mean they love them more. Even you, like poop, have to help them and be a good example. Just one thing to tell you that is 100% true: Rejoice that you have brothers and sisters, because when you become an adult and have a family, they will be the people who will help you and them. You will not be alone. I have a sister 10 years older than me and if it weren't for her I don't know what I would do. I can neither rely on my mother nor my father on her alone. And I was confused when I was your age and now I ask myself if there was anyone to guide me what is right to be able to be 14 years old now, but with my current brain but can not. Watch your learning nowadays without education it is simply impossible to live. You may not learn to run for hours now, but if you go to university you will see how sweet it is to study. I graduated from university and now I want to be a student all my life to study. And not to try to find a job and not be able to deprive myself of some things because I can't afford them. Live while they support their parents and learn so that when you separate from them, work can be a pleasure and not a pain. Let me tell you about the cigarettes. People have fought for freedom and cigarettes make them addicted and by calculating how much money is given to them per month with this money you can make a nice trip for example. Every month with the money you give for cigarettes you can go somewhere or buy something useful. And they only hurt. Don't make yourself dependent on anything.
You better trust your mother. She knows what she's doing. You may not like it, but in time you will understand why it keeps you so short. You want your mother to have more confidence in you, and look what you do - cigarettes, alcohol. Is that how you show that you are a sensible girl who can make the right decisions? Do not think that if you go to your father, he will immediately let you go to a disco and allow you to dress as you wish. If you want a change in your attitude, change yourself first.
I support number 3. I am 20 years old and I want you to know that at your age I also had great problems with my mother - I was going out, and I was buying clothes that she did not give, I wanted to wear high shoes, she did not give, everyone everywhere let them - she rarely me. Then I was terribly sullen - because I was excellent, always tidy, I helped my family, and I didn't get the things I wanted. Now, years later, I have great respect for my mother for the way she treated me. The woman was afraid of getting into bad company, of starting to want to become a 'poop' very quickly, and so on. She just protected me, as I think your mother does. I am sure that in two or three years you will understand this too. Until then - just have faith in your mother. We live in too dangerous days, when with each passing day, children increasingly forget that they are children, rush to grow up and miss their best teen years, just because of arguments at home. If you want to be with your father, be. The decision is yours. But know from me that there will be days when you will ask your mother for advice - on what combination of clothes to wear, on what to do with the boys, all things that only one woman can advise another young woman. :) Don't rush your decision. And most of all, don't rush to grow up. Greetings, smile :) about what to do with boys, all things that only one woman can advise another young woman. :) Don't rush your decision. And most of all, don't rush to grow up. Greetings, smile :) about what to do with boys, all things that only one woman can advise another young woman. :) Don't rush your decision. And most of all, don't rush to grow up. Greetings, smile :)
AUTHOR: .. dear people, thanks for the good advice :) I don't know .. I have the feeling that she is doing unfairly .. she knows that I am in good company and she still won't let me go .. tell me how to make her let me go at least once. .: Х
I'll tell you how to "make" her let go. Let your father take you by car, you and two or three of your girlfriends, and wait for you in front of the disco. If he is such a great father with a unique approach - he will not mind. Personally, I don't know girls who go to a midnight disco on their own at the age of 14, unless theirs just gave up on them for ease.
to 6 .. my father can't influence my mother in any way .. it makes sense if he goes to give her a reason ... nenene
You have a communication problem with your mother. Why don't you both try to go to a psychologist, not that you're crazy, just consult with him and clear up the misunderstandings. And stop the nasty cigarettes and alcohol. At 20 you will look like 25. It is ugly for a woman to drink and smoke. Do you think that a man so uneducated with nasty skin and teeth will love you, plus a lid that stinks of vodka and cigarettes?
Try talking to her. I know at this age you think your mother was never young, but you're wrong. She's worried, much more than you think. I don't know if it's for good or not, but this is her method of upbringing. You say that your father is very cool, of course, dear, but he is not responsible for you. My uncle used to take me to discos at your age, but he was never responsible for what kind of person would come out of me, he was just a cool uncle. So my advice is to talk to her seriously, ask her to talk I don't believe she disagrees and come to a reasonable agreement that suits both of you. But with anger, banging on doors and "I'll go to Daddy" it doesn't work. ~ Ramona ~
Stay with your mother, there is nothing sacred about your mother, she loves you, so she forbids you to dress like a little whore impressed by folk and chalga mutres. Since you are small, you can't think soberly, if you are free from now on in your choice, you will wear out quickly and you will have no values in life, everything comes with time, don't run in front of it, don't you want to grow old fast? thanks
When a 14-year-old girl attends midnight discos at 18, they are no longer interesting to him. If at 14 he drinks and smokes at 20, what will he do, he will sting. Author everything with your time! The time will come, you will be able to go where you want, then you will not want to go to a disco.
People, if I tell my mother to talk, she tells me you are bothering me with nonsense. If and jealous -2 slap. Money is not a problem for us. There is an excess, just when I want to talk to her and she tells me that I'm bothering her with nonsense, etc.
There is nothing you can do but go to your father, you must be firm and not regret your choice. Yes, she raised you, but that doesn't mean she'll keep you to herself for the rest of her life. Another option is to wait until you turn 18 and move out to live alone. I can't understand those parents who forbid everything to their children and control their lives. Then why is it full of unemployed malnourished people and geeks waiting for everything ready. I had two such alcoholic masters who liked to fight each other, and me by my side. I will not go into details, I just ran away from us at the age of 16, to this day they have not heard anything about me. I live as I want and as I have achieved. At least you have a chance for a better life, take advantage.
Dear Girl, look - your father is right and he stopped smoking a lot.
I also have such a problem, but my mother does not keep me that much. so let him go, for example, one day show your mother that you can be trusted .. make her go out to dinner with her husband and let your brother take care of him .... and so I hope I helped with something :)
It happened because of his mother. Go to your father, because I could not stand in your place! What TV does is disgusting, but it's still your mother. Go to your father until he realizes and demand love from her. And yes ... Stop smoking cigarettes and alcohol, it's not good. Good luck!