Hi, I'm going to tell you my story, I don't really know why. It's just that I've accumulated a lot and I want to pour out my soul, no matter how banal it sounds. I am 28 years old, when I was 19 I met my wife, who was 21 then, is now 30. The first year our relationship was very turbulent, like most - strong passion, jealousy, at times obsession with her, wonderful moments, there were everything ... In the following years we adjusted our characters a lot and our relationship became meek and stable. We went through many difficult moments caused by problems in our families, death and illness of my and her relatives, we were always next to each other and supported each other. Because we studied in different places, and then worked in different places, we saw each other only on weekends, during the week in the evening for 2-3 hours, and in the winter during the week we saw each other 1-2 times. It is for these reasons that 5 years have passed imperceptibly. After these 5 years I started to think a lot. Somehow I had the feeling that we made a mistake not to live together in the beginning, we did not take any action. We stayed at the level of boyfriends, everyone went on their tasks during the day, we saw each other in the evening and on weekends. I felt like we were wasting our time, that we either had to break up or do something more serious. I began to get nervous, always thoughtful and sour, there was no way it could not affect her. After completing my bachelor's degree, I wanted to go to work abroad in the specialty. However, she and my parents were on the other side, I didn't want to leave her, because to this day I haven't stopped loving her, I couldn't leave them either, because I'm the only child with elderly parents. And since I know her, I know that she will not go abroad to work, in Sofia too, she wanted to develop in our city. And he did, he is now in a good position in the district court. It was her dream, she studied hard to get here. The tension was rising even more and I finally screwed up and went with the flow and whatever happened. Shortly afterwards, I found a well-paid job for my level then, calmed down and our relationship improved. From the beginning, we always used precautions during sex, because she was adamant that she would not have abortions and she wanted us to be safe. However, on a vacation at sea during her ovulation she became pregnant. For the first time, our condom broke since we had sex, she got pregnant from the pre-ejaculatory fluid that had accumulated inside (in principle, I secrete a lot). I will not lie to you and I will say to myself, that I was not happy at all, I was even quite worried, internally I did not want to have children, no matter that I was not small. She was worried at first, then she was quite happy. Which affected me and I started to look positively. Then everything started to happen very quickly, we went to the apartment and we understood each other relatively well, of course there were quarrels, but for a short time and not serious. After our baby was born and until his 2nd birthday, we also got along. We were even great, I gained more experience and found an even better job, which I still do today and my salary is good. Our child will soon be 3 years old. In the last 5-6 months, a lot of stress started to build up for me again, because I twice refused good job offers in the English office of the company where I work and in a German office of another large IT company. I will not hide that as a child I had said to myself that I wanted to get rich one day, I was approaching 30, and I had not achieved anything like that. I am constantly thinking that my life did not go in the right direction, that I made a mistake, that I did not leave earlier. In general, whenever I have free time, I think about it. Nothing makes me happy anymore, inside I am always worried, I have no desire for anything. I constantly accuse myself of causing this to my child, but I can't stop him, thoughts come up again and again ... My wife is adamant that she will not go abroad, I don't blame her, I knew this a long time ago . I am constantly torn, I have various thoughts to leave them here and leave, whatever happens. I know this will be the end of our relationship. But I immediately remember my boy, that I can't do it to him, and his mother, I still love her and my heart won't let me dump them ... Our life is not bad, we are not like other couples in the face of such a dilemma abroad, we cover our expenses, we even save, we have no credit, we have a relatively good standard of living. We also get along well with her, our sex is still wonderful and regular. But is my greed empty, is it some innate complex ... These thoughts just don't give me peace. I don't want to stay at that level, I want to achieve something bigger, to earn a lot of money that I've always wanted. I'm just not happy with how my life is going. I am not one of the people for whom it is most wonderful to raise children and dedicate themselves to them, I do not hide it, it is selfish, but I cannot blame my soul, I am like that, this is not a development and a dream life for me. My wife has been talking about a second child for some time, she really wanted and was ready. I am firmly against it, she wonders why. As I speak, that I want to make more money, she says that there are good opportunities here and she is right to some extent. The thought of living a monotonous life, working from morning till night and going home to take care of the children and various family responsibilities scares me. I don't want that to be the case, I know, I'm very selfish, but I can't change it. I just don't know what to do, I'm terribly disoriented and time is running out. These thoughts drive me crazy, I am constantly frowning and without a desire to live. I don't really know, I don't know what will happen next, I know I'm terribly confused. Thank you very much for reading my story, I totally deserve criticism is attacks, I will not be angry about anything. The problems are only in me, I am not aware of myself and a lot of people suffer because of that ... The thought of living a monotonous life, working from morning till night and going home to take care of the children and various family responsibilities scares me. I don't want that to be the case, I know, I'm very selfish, but I can't change it. I just don't know what to do, I'm terribly disoriented and time is running out. These thoughts drive me crazy, I am constantly frowning and without a desire to live. I don't really know, I don't know what will happen next, I know I'm terribly confused. Thank you very much for reading my story, I totally deserve criticism is attacks, I will not be angry about anything. The problems are only in me, I am not aware of myself and a lot of people suffer because of that ... The thought of living a monotonous life, working from morning till night and going home to take care of the children and various family responsibilities scares me. I don't want that to be the case, I know, I'm very selfish, but I can't change it. I just don't know what to do, I'm terribly disoriented and time is running out. These thoughts drive me crazy, I am constantly frowning and without a desire to live. I don't really know, I don't know what will happen next, I know I'm terribly confused. Thank you very much for reading my story, I totally deserve criticism is attacks, I will not be angry about anything. The problems are only in me, I am not aware of myself and a lot of people suffer because of that ... I'm very selfish, but I can't change it. I just don't know what to do, I'm terribly disoriented and time is running out. These thoughts drive me crazy, I am constantly frowning and without a desire to live. I don't really know, I don't know what will happen next, I know I'm terribly confused. Thank you very much for reading my story, I totally deserve criticism is attacks, I will not be angry about anything. The problems are only in me, I am not aware of myself and a lot of people suffer because of that ... I'm very selfish, but I can't change it. I just don't know what to do, I'm terribly disoriented and time is running out. These thoughts drive me crazy, I am constantly frowning and without a desire to live. I don't really know, I don't know what will happen next, I know I'm terribly confused. Thank you very much for reading my story, I totally deserve criticism is attacks, I will not be angry about anything. The problems are only in me, I am not aware of myself and a lot of people suffer because of that ... I will not be angry about anything. The problems are only in me, I am not aware of myself and a lot of people suffer because of that ... I will not be angry about anything. The problems are only in me, I am not aware of myself and a lot of people suffer because of that ...
Answers 13
Follow your dreams.
Tighten it up! You are experiencing the crisis of the 30s and it is obviously related to the eternal complex of men with money. Except you have everything. And you're about to lose it for nonsense. Men make money to have what you have, and you have both achieved it and you are financially well and still dissatisfied. Instead of thinking nonsense, enjoy your family. People who have a lot of money usually do not have time for such things, work late, their wife is lonely and flirts with someone else, and the child grows up without adequate fatherly attention. In the end, they still don't have enough, they want more and more. I don't know what else to tell you. I hope you come to your senses while it's time. F31
As a man who has gone your way, I will give you some advice and you understand it as you want - Where is today's life, where our innate trait is always to aim higher and higher, sometimes we tend to go down in some way in the hope to secure a better future for ourselves and for others. But aspiring to this "bright future" we often forget that life goes on, every day, and every second. And no matter what you've been through and what you're going to go through, the only thing left for us to do is enjoy those moments, right now. Because you do not know how fate will turn, in time what you will be, what the people around you will be like. And you may regret not appreciating what you could have with what you had. And you sacrificed your present, in the name of some imaginary future of yours.
And I will get involved. I'm a 26-year-old man, I don't have a wife, I don't have a child, and I haven't graduated from university yet, because I dropped out, but I don't think you'll mind hearing my opinion. Here, you are exactly a typical sample of an average man from a Bulgarian family without putting anything bad in it. I have to explain again, but obviously men don't understand this thing. Of course he will want a second child. Do you know why? Because it will bind you permanently. Any thoughts that you want to go abroad will completely disappear from your head if you have a second child. The task of women is to give birth to children and not be alone. This does not mean that everyone is in love with their husbands. They want security, and that security is achieved by giving birth to a child, for sure two. Then you have nowhere to move. You will no longer be as brave as when you are alone. From your topic, I can feel how nervous you are and how tense you feel. This is today's family. It's like you're at a job you don't like 24/7. Here you are told to appreciate the present moments. Yes, there is nothing wrong, but in the end everyone has some dream goals and if he does not dare to realize them at least a little, he ends up with a child who is not really sure. that he wanted at first a constantly grumbling woman. I know that yours doesn't grumble yet and you have regular sex, but wait a little longer when the second child is born. I don't want to scare you, but the tension will only get worse, then the sex will stop ... having a family is not such an idyll at all. I will never forget how my father told me - your mother shortened my life. Why do you think he says that? Precisely because he constantly and all his life tries to satisfy all her whims and needs, and in return receives free scandals. He manipulates it as he pleases and can crush it verbally in any way. I love my mother and father equally, but I am a realist and I know very well how things are. My brother's family, who is a little older than you, with two children, is following exactly the same path. Why are you in such a hurry with these relationships, with these families, children and women? Why do we all go like in a matrix and do the same thing? I cannot describe to you the reaction of my mother, my brother's wife and my cousin, with whom I had an occasion and were together, and I told them that I would not marry. They literally jumped. But how? But what kind of man will you be, not to have obligations to be alone and what not other nonsense .. God forbid I decide to follow my own dreams and goals and do what I want, not what my wife says he should. What I want to tell you after all these lines ... is that you made a mistake, that you didn't listen to your instincts in time, unfortunately. It will be very disastrous now if you abandon your child, because it will really have an impact over time. The woman will quickly replace you, you can be sure, but the child will always feel the absence of a father next to him. Follow your instincts was people, first make yourself happy. Having peace of mind is the greatest wealth. I know I didn't help you, but I wonder. Nobody said how we should live in order to have a wife, children and a family. Merge your inner voice, take risks so as not to fall victim to circumstances. Don't go back for a while. Don't live in the past. Think what to do now .. Good luck It will be very disastrous now if you abandon your child, because it will really have an impact over time. The woman will quickly replace you, you can be sure, but the child will always feel the absence of a father next to him. Follow your instincts was people, first make yourself happy. Having peace of mind is the greatest wealth. I know I didn't help you, but I wonder. Nobody said how we should live in order to have a wife, children and a family. Merge your inner voice, take risks so as not to fall victim to circumstances. Don't go back for a while. Don't live in the past. Think what to do now .. Good luck It will be very disastrous now if you abandon your child, because it will really have an impact over time. The woman will quickly replace you, you can be sure, but the child will always feel the absence of a father next to him. Follow your instincts was people, first make yourself happy. Having peace of mind is the greatest wealth. I know I didn't help you, but I wonder. Nobody said how we should live in order to have a wife, children and a family. Merge your inner voice, take risks so as not to fall victim to circumstances. Don't go back for a while. Don't live in the past. Think what to do now .. Good luck first make yourself happy. Having peace of mind is the greatest wealth. I know I didn't help you, but I wonder. Nobody said how we should live in order to have a wife, children and a family. Merge your inner voice, take risks so as not to fall victim to circumstances. Don't go back for a while. Don't live in the past. Think what to do now .. Good luck first make yourself happy. Having peace of mind is the greatest wealth. I know I didn't help you, but I wonder. Nobody said how we should live in order to have a wife, children and a family. Merge your inner voice, take risks so as not to fall victim to circumstances. Don't go back for a while. Don't live in the past. Think what to do now .. Good luck
You don't want many things, but what kind of life do you want? Just imagine it. What does a life in which you are calm and happy look like? But I'm not just "rich." He is rich and sick. Rich and lonely. Rich and tired. I'm 42, I don't know what "rich" means, but I have no financial worries. What are you not getting enough money for? My regrets are that we haven't had more children. You can always make money, but it's time with the kids. The later you do them, the shorter you are with them.
And when you get rich, you will be full of fake smiles and you will be lost in your delusion that you are someone and that you have succeeded, but in fact you will have wasted everything! Someday, someday, because it often happens, you will realize that you are alone and what you have achieved, because you are aware that you can achieve it, there is no one to share it with! Once your life is monotonous, catch the family and travel, travel a lot, meet friends and live more actively! And yes, my friend, you are a greedy egoist and you obviously do not deserve what you have and you have to lose in order to learn your lesson in the most painful way! That is, when a decent man gives his love to the people you will abandon! Because there are stable men, men who know what they want and what to value!
M-57 Among IT professionals: Somewhere after 2/3 of your topic, I caught myself smiling - not because it's funny, but because you know what to do, long before you write the first line. I will not mention it publicly… What distinguishes mediocre IT staff from good ones? The mediocre asks what to do, the good one knows and does it right away. What distinguishes good IT staff from IT PROFESSIONAL? The latter knows what to do, but seeks peer review before clicking Apply. That's what you do, not necessary. Sometimes family relationships can be "Restore to last known good state", but never "Restore from image"! Follow your heart!
And when you make a lot of money what? Usually the richest people are the unhappiest .... Money is something temporary, it should not be a goal ...
Talk to a psychologist, good, to set your priorities. Some things will fall away or at least go elsewhere. I don't understand this "I want to have a lot of money". Although many people with money wanted just that. For me, it is more important to develop in the profession, not to stand still, to acquire new skills, to invent something new, to build a good business of your own and to give jobs to other people. To be a good employer. And if a lot of money accumulates somewhere along the way, ok.
Let's say you leave. Have you ever imagined how it will be there_ You will spend more money, but your expenses will be higher, you will find your way to a laundromat and that's it. Why do you think that when you go out, your life will be more fulfilling, I do not understand. Lola
Different people - different interests. I have left love for the sake of career and finances, and I cannot claim that this is the case with everyone, but I think you will feel this quote "Not with money, but with people" very quickly. You will leave a more fundamental step in Maslow's pyramid, for a higher one, which will ALWAYS bring headlong negatives, unless in time you manage to rebuild this foundation, which is much more difficult with the years and the presence of a child. . Burn your mind ... and seek adventure in the familiar. Brother.
I don't think you like family life and fatherhood, and you're looking for excuses and excuses to change that. Supposedly career, ostensibly means, you just want to run away ...
If you love her and feel good (not sometimes, but always when you're with her) if you love your little child (not sometimes but always when she's with you) if you love your wife whatever she says if you believe in her and you know she believes in you on a subconscious and spiritual level. At a level where words are not needed. Then and only then believe in yourself and tighten up and think about what you really want to do inside your heart and how you want to act. Life is about living, not thinking about how to live. Enjoy more than making plans for the future. Eventually, in time, you will realize that you grabbed the cart in front of the horse and that you wasted years to think and did not live in peace when you were both young and happy. If you were happy;) only we can explain the truth.