The Barrier - The Enemy Of Happiness

   How equal you women are. You all think that "he's more afraid of intimacy" and you start to believe that things are actually getting serious and then "but these men are pigs." You experience yourself as a kind of educator and ignore the fact that the man is too direct a being. If he said it was just sex for him, then it was just sex. To say one thing and keep another in mind is inherent in female nature. "I don't want to look in his eyes like a woman who has no self-esteem" I'm sorry to tell you, but that's exactly how you look in his eyes and there's no way he'll take you seriously. Even if you start a relationship, it will be doomed from the start. Don't be fooled. If you fall in love, just end the relationship before it gets even more complicated. Forget about contact if you keep persisting, this job will not work well. And it's not bad for women to stop believing what you want and seeing reality.

   Number 1 said it well enough, but as a "confirmatory opinion" I will tell you. No man would respect a woman who agreed to be "just sex", even the super liberated.

   I support 1, but with the difference that I think there is a large mass of people who are like that, but of both sexes. They keep thinking that the other side is probably just scared. I am a woman and in the same way various men have tried to change me, seemingly agreeing to what I want and accordingly NOT wanting, and after they are finally convinced that I do not give in, some dramas begin. , emotional outbursts, etc. slop ... just like young children react when it is once again explained to them that they will not get what they want, even if they ask for it 1,000 more times. I also can't understand why they keep believing what they want, and instead don't just start accepting the reality of these people - wanting something so strong, let them look for someone who wants the same thing in the same way as them.

   This sounds like Michal Mishkoed to me and "gave me a target that ma libi" :-) The man said he didn't want to commit, but she decided that deep down she wanted, ma na, something stopped him and he asked how to break down its barriers. Author, if you don't like someone for a relationship, however, he starts a topic "how to make her fall in love with me, because she loves me deep inside" (there are many here). How will you feel and what do you think? Is there a chance?

   Well, no man ... I've been with a few girls just for sex and I don't respect them any less for that. After all, I wanted the same from them as they wanted from me, right? By that logic, I must despise myself. You become funny with your stupid matches. Author, do nothing. Beauty does not happen by force. If you start to persist, there really is a chance that numbers 1 and 2 will turn out to be right and take you for some annoying attraction. You can very discreetly try to talk to him if you think there is a problem - to share with you as a friend, but without pressing him. I am of the opinion that a person, no matter how distant and withdrawn he is, if you want to be nasty and rude, if he falls in love, he will not listen and become naughty. Leave that job.

   First, the fact that no one will take you seriously because you started with just sex is not true. But it is good if you move forward without this person at some point to keep in mind that such relationships are much less likely to continue and if you fall in love easily it is better for you to avoid them yourself. So that you don't suffer. Second, 5 is right. Cool the passions, distance yourself from it more physically and mentally and less often think and dream about it and comply with it. Otherwise you will sink much, much more than a sink, and then he will see you as pathetic. Even if you really aren't like that, you can become without realizing it at some point. It is reversible, but it is humiliating and the road to recovery is quite difficult. Whether it happens or not between you, the most important thing is not to sink. Love is love, but depression does not mean stronger love, but a nightmare through which, believe me, you don't want to pass by and see you in that light. I speak from experience. It is difficult to clear up after Hurricane Katrina-style drama, and when you allow yourself to get stuck there, disaster is inevitable.

   A lost cause. Numbers 1 and 3 have already said it. The man is at least honest and said to himself that he only wants sex without more complications. As he would like from a prostitute, but without paying in the case. However, the author is building a whole script, like a Turkish TV series, that he was deeply in love with her and she probably sees herself as a bride in the end, but there will be no happy ending. If it suits you, you want it - you only have sex, if you don't - say goodbye to him and that's it.

   # 1, no matter how much you repeat to men that you are super direct and direct, I am constantly confronted with the exact opposite. Namely, hints, squabbling, running around, outright lies. Of course, some parts are to get what you want, but another is out of pure fear and unwillingness to face the consequences of your actions. And of course, finally comes the fact that you can't accept when someone is right with you. You don't understand a word and keep pushing where you're told it won't happen. Here I accept that the man said it to himself, he does not want a relationship, and the author just imagines some things because she wants to. But I also know how much you are willing to drive, come and give me false hope, just because you both want to eat and then the plate is clean. So, don't make money, which when it's time to act you just aren't. And you author, I would recommend you to try, even just to make sure that there was never a chance. But keep in mind that such attempts will probably cost you a lot, and if you succeed, it may turn out that being with such a man has a serious price. Some may calm down, but most remain exactly as they were, with or without a serious partner.

   She can't let you, author, next to you - you write in your first sentence - a non-committal relationship. You agree to these terms, and then you want something more. I will tell you one thing to keep in mind when you decide to look for something more serious - no man, but remember it, no one likes easy women. Yes, he takes advantage of them, but he will neither respect them nor allow them to himself. Next time, play your cards better.

   From the author: Obviously I need to clarify that: Number 1, I do not believe that things are starting to get serious. Number 2, I don't agree at all. Relationships based on simple sex have existed between people for a long time, and when the relationship is realized and clarified, there is no room for negativity on the part of both men and women. Just mutual benefit. I admit that I like it, but I try not to give way so much to my sympathies, which may be a reason to pour everything here. The bad thing is that in such a situation, one of the two always has a dose of hope that things can change, which is also not impossible. I just wanted to get advice on how to behave so that I wouldn't let my emotions take control of me.

   Isn't it just easier and better to be with someone who loves you? There will be sex again, but there will also be love. What are these modern non-committal relationships and for how many years do you think you can have them? While you waste your time with such relationships that bring you nothing, your sets build stable relationships with men who love them. I don't know how many you are old, but you hardly want to waste your youth with frivolous men. He doesn't see you seriously, realize that. Life is not a series where the protagonist shuns you because of the power of his feelings. He does not keep you aside because he loves you and desires you madly. He does not deepen things, because he is afraid of running away from the turbulent feelings in him. These things only happen in soaps and love novels. He is just comfortable using you and you have accepted this role.

   From the author: 11, of course it's better! But it's not easy! I can find a man who loves me, but one to whom I can respond with the same - no. Obviously there is a problem. My last relationship was with understanding, friendship and great communication, but there was no passion and thrill - what I feel now. I have long since stopped comparing myself to my sets, I want a real thrill, not a relationship based on 100 percent certainty. It sounds awful to say, but I have the feeling that a lot of people reconcile at some point and just live with someone with whom they are calm .. I'm 25 ..

   I'm 11 I'm a little older than you, I'm 27. And I realized that not only thrill and passion are important, but security and being able to count on it. Can you count on this person for anything? Can you call him at any time and ask for help? Are you good friends? Or just for one bed? Men don't respect women they only sleep with, and the men above told you that. For a man, such a woman is on a very low step, just fun. He knows he won't stay dry if he has it. Do you go to parties together, do you know colleagues, friends? Anyone at all? Or does he just call you when he itches? Answer these questions and form a real opinion about his attitude. You're still young now, but do you want to waste years waiting for him to get serious, even though it's just fun for him.

   Author, you are right, they reconcile a lot, they live dissatisfied and when this thrill you are talking about comes, they cheat. Of course, the thrill does not guarantee family happiness, nor is it certain that it will last forever. Rather, both are compromises, but with different things. Complete happiness is a rarity. So, you have to make your choice. You are young, you have time to look for yours. For me personally, it doesn't happen without a thrill, maybe because I've seen enough unsuccessful such connections. But I also want a family, and if it doesn't happen at some point, I may resign.

   by the author: Honestly, I'm glad I read so many opinions on the subject. For better or worse, they affected me, and now I feel even more confused. It started to get annoying and it exhausts me mentally because I'm confused and hesitant about the type of "relationship" I have. I have the option to just cover up and finish it, which will be very painful for me ... and sit down and talk to this person. I want to tell him everything, but I have no idea how ... and I'm afraid of his reaction. How do you talk to a man about something like that? I don't want to give way to my drama and emotions, that will repel him.