Have you ever met someone on the Internet, written to each other and liked communication? Everything is fine until you both send each other your photos and ... something crashes. The person you enjoyed interacting with is visually unpleasant. Strange thing, isn't it? We are not talking about long communication, we are not talking about love and making plans ... such things are crazy to do with a stranger from the Internet. We are talking about pleasant communication, with a polite and relatively smart person who does not have any irritating complexes that interfere with your communication, have conversations in which you have similar opinions, etc. All this can lead to pleasant emotions, but once you see what this person looks like - you no longer have the desire to communicate. There are no unique people to try to compromise for. And just - you disappear because you are not given explanations, as if you are obliged to justify your decision. The thought creeps in that this person may be left with a damaged ego or shake his self-esteem, but what if he is highly emotional and such an attitude triggers a depressed state in him? But you tell yourself that he will survive it, everything passes, there is nothing scary. There is nothing scary in an explanation like "I'm happy to communicate, but after seeing what you look like, I don't feel like I want to continue, even as acquaintances" ... the problem is not in this sentence, but in the subsequent questions. . Everyone has the right to free choice without explanation. And no - this type of disappearance without explanation - is not disrespect, but a personal choice that has nothing personal to the person opposite. I can say the same about "live" dating, you meet because you liked the look, but after an hour of talking - you realize that you don't like the person opposite. You get up and leave without feeling uncomfortable or giving explanations. It is your personal right.
Answers 9
Yes, it is a choice, but it is cowardly and selfish. You do not need to give a specific and detailed explanation to the person on the other side, but you owe him at least some end. And not to let him wonder and torment what happened, why it happened, whether he should do something, etc. Especially if you've had some longer communication, it's not like you went out on a date and didn't fit in. So, you can justify this "choice" as much as you want, but it only serves you, your fears, your lack of dignity and unwillingness to put yourself in a slightly unpleasant situation for you, although in this way you will put the other in a much more bad one.
Sounds bad, I don't even want to talk to you because you're very ugly, but it's human.
That's why minimal communication with strangers online ... In fact, online only with friends I communicate to understand where to go out.
You absolutely do not have to give explanations. And how will your explanation save the person from a blow to the ego and depression, and the lack of explanation will cause them ...?! Calm down. You will not depression anyone, people's lives do not depend on your approval, I think you have taken yourself a little seriously. However, the decision is yours, so do not wash your hands with "He is ... I do not know what", but with "I am a man who seeks physical beauty in his partner." Because the person has no problem with your communication, you have. He did not say to himself "I am too ugly and I will feel inferior, restless or depressed with such a beautiful woman", if he communicates calmly and without complexes, then he does not find you too high a ball. You, on the other hand, do not care about Internet friendships, you are looking for an intimate partner with a beautiful appearance. Why should your dissatisfaction be a burden to this unknown man? She is your problem. And if it's such a big problem, well, just ask for a picture at an earlier stage. If communication is pointless, if the person is not nice, why start it at all?
I've been on both sides. And yes, it's naughty to hang out with a person for a few days, to like him and at some point have to dump him, because a gram, but you don't like a gram visually and it would be stupid to tell him directly, because you will think - am I just a vision, and the fact that we talked and liked each other for so long, does not mean anything. The truth is that the vision has some meaning, although it is not the most decisive, but still you can not be with a person who at least a little you do not like visually. It and the aunt, who short tickets in the city toilet, can be super decent, but since I don't like a gram physically, it doesn't work. Like me, they played me the same way. Well, they didn't tell me directly, but it's not very hard to remember. And yes, it's painful. You talk, you get closer, you like each other very much, it feels like you're very close in understanding, values, etc. and at one point "sorry, but you're ugly." Well, it's not the most pleasant thing in the world, but when you think about it, she's to blame and she doesn't choose what type of men to like visually. I feel bad at such moments, and there is really no one to blame - neither I am guilty of being ugly for her, nor she that she has other preferences, but you can not reconcile, because you really liked each other emotionally and is a nasty thrill.
I'm glad that there are people like number 5 who have outgrown their ego because they can think. Everyone who seeks account from people, especially their feelings - you are quite immature (the rude and sarcastic tone you hold on a stranger - also confirms). In addition, you were impressed by the dislike of the vision, and I mentioned that it is the same for differences in character. I wrote the topic so that more people could read it and not feel bad, no matter which country they are from.
I can tell you that a photo gives much more reliable (real) information about a person than a month of chat. What's surprising?
Photos are also not a criterion. Sometimes a person is not photogenic, nor can he take pictures. Better on camera or live - best. But at least on camera, before you decide that you don't like this person visually. And the photo can't really give you information on whether you will have sexual attraction with this person. This is felt only live. But in general, no one makes you say that someone is ugly, because for you it may be so, and for others - attractive. For example, I find repulsive the vision of quite a few celebrities that thousands of teenage girls and young ladies adore. But anyway. What you can say is that you feel only friendship, that you do not feel physical attraction. If the person wants you to communicate due to intimacy ok, if not - you will stop communication. But it's better to explain
That's why the photos are exchanged at the beginning so that there are no bad surprises. If someone is stubborn and does not want to send a photo, the probability of being bad is very high.