One - naive, with childish thinking, great self-confidence and no idea what he wants from life .... but also repeatedly hurt by women. The other - mature, kind, intelligent, spontaneous and sober-minded ... the problem !! I can't figure out who I want to be with, or maybe I rather know, but I don't want to accept it. My life in the last few years has been like a soap opera and whatever decision I make is always wrong. I had promised myself not to get into such situations again, and it was as if life gave me a second chance to make the same mistake. To choose between two men, one of whom doesn't even know for sure if he wants to be chosen ... Let's call one boy the Uncertain 25, mature when he wants to, usually never when he has to. Optimistic to the bone and the big problem my colleague. What happened - we went out for coffee, then again and finally we said we slept together, then we went out a few times and that's a rare look, we almost don't talk, but we see each other (we don't just have sex, we went on dates and didn't end up in bed). The problem is that the women lied to him a lot, his last girlfriend he was going to marry cheated on him and now it turns out that he couldn't trust him and he needed time and eventually he would want something more than that ... no he gives me exact answers to no question, he doesn't make any effort for anything, the hell he doesn't even kiss and hug me, but otherwise he looks for me either for a conversation or something else .... and he doesn't know what he wants he said millions of times ... but in 5 months not knowing what you want comes to me more. Another issue is that he treats other women frivolously and seems to treat them deliberately in a way that he knows annoys me, and I am like a ghost. He is kind of cold to me in front of the others, when we are alone he is kinder and gentler, but in front of the others he doesn't seem to know me. He shares with everyone else about us, but not with me, what one God knows .... The other one I will call the Reclining, at 29. He is the complete opposite, careful, spontaneous, wanting me not just as a sexual object, and as a person. I met him before I started dating the Uncertain. But we never went out, exactly a week before he went abroad I went for a walk and coffee with him, we talked for so long that we did not feel how the day went. For the first time I had an 11-hour meeting, he was such a gentleman and with such intelligence .... yes, but after he left I didn't have time to hang on Skype and he is still both at work and the different time and so it happened with the other boy. But now Batkoto came back and looked for me immediately, I didn't want to lie to him and I told him that I was seeing someone - although it wasn't an exact vision and still he wanted to see me and then I decided. I don't know what to do, I like The Uncertain so much, but I don't have to wait my whole life to decide if he wants me or not .... I can't wait for him to trust me and I definitely don't want to lie to him, but if not do something I'll just go out with the Calm One, who tries a little or a lot .... my problem is that I definitely like the Uncertain one more, maybe I'm a kind of masochist and I don't know, somehow when I see him and my day gets better no matter how bad he behaves, and I have very slight sympathy for the Settled One, rather because of the way I can say everything to him, there is no topic we can't talk about .... I just have no idea what to do and whether to go out with the Calm One now or not ... I don't want to betray the boy, especially after all his nasty relationships ... if anyone has ideas to share. I'm sorry for the long post, it's just that everything is very confused, at least for me .... F, 23
Answers 9
I think you should choose the one who is 29 !!!! Isabella ********
Finally, you will choose the insecure one. This is in the nature of women. Not to say 100%, but 99% of you like to be provoked, crushed and in any other way to show you how much you do not cost for the person, and you try to prove yourself in front of him to please. On the other hand, when someone is behaving nicely and well with you, behaving properly and properly, you push them into the friend zone because they understand he is good, and you don't want to lose him as a friend. Fuck stupid logic !!! Roar that there were no gentlemen, but when he appears, you run again in the unknown. Hey, that's why I stop being a good boy, I become a jerk. There is no point in behaving well, the more times I was good, the more times I was pushed into the friend zone.
I will objectively show you how things are, from a man's point of view, I think that's what you need. I don't put any emotions in, unlike you. First, your definitions are incorrect. The so-called insecure is a very clear, crystal clear image. The man is having fun with you, you are his girlfriend for sex and here and there something else, why not, after you allow him to be like that with you. You are not and cannot be a serious challenge for him, you are a read book and you cannot want him to look at you with different eyes, rather if you deny him your closeness, he will turn to another with thinking like yours, logically. , right? Masochist or not, you will have no future with him. The so-called settled. The man likes you, probably a lot, but he is still exploring the soil, he wants to be with you, but not at any cost, if you cut it, he will find another, not irreplaceable. I don't know how well you fit into his long-term plans given the fact that he lives abroad. You could have a future with it, but you need to download more cards to the table to clarify the picture. Conclusion: Do not be deceived by the arrogant airmen, for whom the sea is knee-deep, even if you are a masochist, you do not deserve such suffering. Give something more normal a chance, just don't act like another stupid woman, the world is full of them, be an exception. M, 34 the world is full of such, be an exception. M, 34 the world is full of such, be an exception. M, 34
And I was faced with that choice and I chose the insecure one. Don't make my mistake! Listen to comment 3, bet on the moderate and normal person, the one who will respect you. You don't know otherwise how you will regret it later ... let me not just explain it to you ... Don't think about it at all.
Author, I do not intend to repeat the previous comments, but I think that these girls are masochists! The more they make you tea, the more you run and then cry. Your loved ones suffer from crying - your parents, and then your children raise them. Bet on the True, passion is not love, but security and understanding. So if you want to be replaced - act!
See to some extent you give yourself an answer to the question you asked. I read your story and my advice is not to choose either. I argue that you sympathize with the "insecure", but he shows tactless behavior by not giving you answers to any questions about your future relationship for 5 months. And the other man is a sure wing, but not what you see more in the other. In principle, once you stand at this crossroads, obviously neither one nor the other manages to offer you something better to hold on to and instantly choose one of the two. Or maybe in this case you yourself are showing frivolity and insecurity towards both. So think carefully about what you can offer your future partner and whether you are satisfied with what you will receive from him.
From 3. I see that someone has gone to great lengths to give low marks to people who rely on a more rational, wiser approach. I bet she's a woman to whom the last sentence of my previous post applies. Of course, there is nothing wrong with that, everyone has the right to choose, and yet I urge the author, if she wants a stronger relationship, not to stop at the so-called insecure. One thing is for sure for him - he will not meet your feelings and expectations. However, if you want to experience your emotion, your life is yours :) M, 34
Hello, sweet and confused girl! A complicated choice ... In both of them you find something that you like, that you adore and like. The following thought must have crossed your mind: "How nice it would be if the two of them got together in one man ..." Life is a series of choices that predetermine the further course of events. We have just made one choice and hop, after two steps another one is waiting for us. The easiest thing will be to tell you: "Leave it, time will tell. Don't bother with unnecessary questions and thoughts, you are young, there is still a lot to go, a lot to learn and many more men to meet". But this answer will not satisfy you, I suppose. As a woman who also suffered from wrong choices, because there was not always someone to advise me and give me a hand, and as a little older than you, I will say - bet on the safe, bet on the one who wants you and not only tells you in words, but also proves it to you. I guess you like one more as passion and temperament, and the other you feel more like a friend and confidant. Nowadays, it is difficult to meet a person you can trust, even more a man! Bet on your friend. Passion is up to time. Then there is friendship and trust. From my current age and experience, I would choose the one I can share and trust. Leave the rest of the air stuff. A serious relationship is built with trust, and I guess you want one. Bet on your friend. Passion is up to time. Then there is friendship and trust. From my current age and experience, I would choose the one I can share and trust. Leave the rest of the air stuff. A serious relationship is built with trust, and I guess you want one. Bet on your friend. Passion is up to time. Then there is friendship and trust. From my current age and experience, I would choose the one I can share and trust. Leave the rest of the air stuff. A serious relationship is built with trust, and I guess you want one.
Thanks to everyone for the advice in the end after much thought and getting to know both of them I decided not to choose anyone ... I still like the younger boy and I can't lie to the other. But I came to the conclusion that I am not ready for a relationship with either of them or with anyone at all ... I do not like the idea that I will be alone again I will not hide, but even more alone than alone with someone :) Thanks again to everyone for the advice and especially to number 6 whose comment definitely made me think hard. The author