What do you do when you realize that you maintain long-term friendly (sometimes family, unfortunately) relationships with people who have stopped developing at some point? When you see that you are terribly different and they lack humanity / intelligence and are very small, very small people? Or when they are terribly narrow-minded and can't see beyond their noses? Are you trying to change them, or are you ending any contact with them? To be friends - okay, but family? Him what to do?
Answers 10
If I can stop contacting them, I do. But if they are from family or close friends, I just "pour one by one" and express my point of view of perception of the world. In the end, everyone has a different opinion, understanding of the world and we can not make him be broad-minded, but sooner or later he understands his "problem". If they don't want to hear my opinion or tell me that I live in delusion, I just stop, otherwise there is a risk of beating them. : D To the author: Beware of negative people!
Ever since I grew up and started thinking on my own, instead of following the imposed norms of behavior, etc., I realized that it doesn't matter if he is a friend or an acquaintance, a random guy on the street, a boyfriend, family, uncle, aunt, grandmother, strinka - if you don't like it for some reason - right, godfather, in the eyes and two options: either by talking you reach a consensus and clarify something, or you end the relationship with this person. In the case of the family, when there are gatherings and holidays that are not worth missing because of 1-2 people, you just ignore them. In most cases, they are cruelly insulted and make scenes, but let them expose themselves. You have already told them what is wrong with you and there is no need to force and hypocrisy. It's stressful for you, and you're lying to the other side. There's no point. For this reason, I quarrel with most of my relatives and family friends of my parents (and I did not choose them after all). I have not died of grief and loneliness, there are many other quality people in whom it is worth investing your time. In this sense, I do not tolerate bad treatment of people I value. If they insult them, they insult me. Separately, I find it greasy in front of your relatives, but behind their back to hiss like a snake, for extremely pathetic and invertebrate behavior. I have such a pathological case with a cousin who is an extremely vicious and insidious creature - she always tries to say something nasty and insulting even for no reason. To say a witty remark or nonsense - tc, pure stupidity. Of course no one can stand her, but they invite her to all the holidays and gatherings, because she is the "family", you see ... But when she is not there, they make it for 5 stotinki. Nobody dares live. ;) An even closer example is my native mother - an infinitely good and noble being who comes to stupidity. By "stupidity" I mean beating her own brother many years ago and continuing to defend him because he is her brother or her closest friends to use her because she is kind and helpful. I've told her a thousand times that they get on her head like that, but I don't know what else because of the old days, because of the family ties. Emmy, break your head then, but stop complaining when you feel used. So what I want to say is to relax and appreciate your peace and mental health. You can only win by taking the nasty people out of your life, which isn't so long anyway that you have to worry about which aunt will sulk there. Personally, it gives me great pleasure to be honest - it cleanses my mind and soul. Focus on quality people, invest your time in them. Unfortunately, the term "family" rarely corresponds to our idealized notion of it.
I maintain more limited contact. Very rarely do I try to change them because 1) I am not asked to and 2) most likely it will not happen, but there is also 3) there is no guarantee that if they become "broad-minded" they will be happier and more happy. better overall. On the contrary.
This is a problem. I have such relatives. I had the best desire to keep in touch, but it didn't work out. Poor hygiene, smells. Forever without money, but even when their income increased dramatically, the money still did not decrease and the dirt is the same. As they raised their heads a little financially, they became super important. Simplicity is terrible. You can't escape the mentality. Before I tried to help them with everything, even cleaning ... but after a while, not maintaining it is the same. It doesn't work. Everything is old, gray in their house, messy. They can buy all kinds of rubbish, but they will not buy latex to paint their walls or clean and ventilate.
Whoever comes from the village to Sofia and doesn't look for it, but hahaha ... The family has nothing to do, you put up with it, at least on holidays, and you judge for your friends yourself.
With friends and boyfriends we move away with time. You get used to the family, you accept that there are different people, but personally I moved out for greater convenience.
There's nothing you can do about these years, just let them drift and watch them.
Very interesting case. If it's a family ... I guess it depends on you, your level of tolerance and exactly how different you are and in what way, whether it hinders the difference in your relationship and so many more questions. If it is in a softer version, you are trying to accept that not everyone is like you and to love them as they are, despite the differences. But if we are talking about whole gaps between you, it may be most painless to limit contact. It may be best to set an example so that we can give you advice more easily.
Friends or relatives, if someone makes you unhappy and you are uncomfortable communicating with them and it does not happen with conversations, you limit or end your relationship. You owe no one but yourself. Read Wayne Dyer's weaknesses and you will find many answers.
That's right 9, it doesn't matter who the person is, you just go through communication and you feel a certain promise. These are toxic people, and if you don't give up, that's it. Fuck, life is good, and too short to waste time re-educating, or winning, and proving to people who don't deserve it, be it relatives, fuck them!