Hello! I need advice, criticism, I accept and I am open to everything. I am 25 years old, married to a wonderful person with whom we have a big difference. He is an amazing man, caring, gentle, kind. We love each other infinitely, I just pray that we are healthy and that the story we experience will last forever. BUT he is divorced and has a child from his first marriage. A caring and dedicated father. He helps as much as he can and as far as the circumstances allow. He has never forced his relationship with the child on me, he has not pressured me, but I have a sense of guilt. Some say that if you love a man, you will love his child. God, this man is everything to me, I love him with all my heart, but I don't feel anything for this child. I have no desire to meet him when they go out together, I am either a hairdresser or a manicurist or I find some other occupation. The child does not come home, because the mother wants so at this stage. When I decided that I would be with this person, I was aware of everything, I didn't have the wedding I dreamed of and, no matter how silly it sounds, at times it bothers me terribly. There are many other things that weigh on me that are stuck in my throat like a lump and I want to pour them out. He tries his best to make me happy, to see me smiling, there is not a day that he doesn't make a small gesture to show me how much I mean to him and what I mean. Become petty. Sometimes I say to myself, what can I want, not to have the wedding I wanted, but I have the love and respect of the man next to me. I have the most wonderful, harmonious relationships, I have the comfort and tranquility I have always sought in a man. I have a burning passion and desire for me every time he looks at me and back. My friends they got married for piles of money and divorced a year later. What I want Which is more important. You will say love, yes, I know it too, but what to do in the moments when that lump in my throat will suffocate me, when I think, what would it be like if everything started anew for both of us. Wedding, first child, etc. I made many sacrifices and lost many things. Every night when we go to bed and hug him, thank God that he met us, that he made me the best gift - I just pray that we are healthy ... everything else will be fine. Give me some advice. Criticize me, help me see things from the sidelines. Thank you dear people. Be very loved and healthy! when I think about it, what would it be like if it all started anew for both of them. Wedding, first child, etc. I made many sacrifices and lost many things. Every night when we go to bed and hug him, I thank God that he met us, that he gave me the best gift - just pray that we are healthy ... everything else will be fine. Give me some advice. Criticize me, help me see things from the sidelines. Thank you dear people. Be very loved and healthy! when I think about it, what would it be like if it all started anew for both of them. Wedding, first child, etc. I made many sacrifices and lost many things. Every night when we go to bed and hug him, thank God that he met us, that he made me the best gift - I just pray that we are healthy ... everything else will be fine. Give me some advice. Criticize me, help me see things from the sidelines. Thank you dear people. Be very loved and healthy! help me see things from the side. Thank you dear people. Be very loved and healthy! help me see things from the side. Thank you dear people. Be very loved and healthy!
Answers 9
I know what it is, believe me, but I was wondering how long have you been together? There is something else and you can't feel anything for this child if you don't get to know him and you haven't met him ... I live with a divorced child, we have 4 years. relationship soon we are expecting our baby life and health, and his child is in us every weekend I have no problems, sometimes maybe ... but it is understandable you can not fight him is not yours and can not be but I really love it child there are moments when I want to be the two weekends and I am annoyed by the fact that we have to comply with the child but I have resigned, and you dear if you intend to be with him in the future try to get to know his child, it will not disappear because you don't want it ... the child is part of the man you have chosen.
Thank you for joining. We have been together for three years. Our relationship is wonderful. The more time passes, the closer we get, somehow the relationship becomes more real, more aware. I have the feeling that our love passes to a completely different level ... By no means do I want to become the mother of this child, I do not want him to disappear, I just do not want them to have any expectations from me. I don't want to play roles, to pretend to be who I am not, to try to please someone I don't feel anything for. I don't care, maybe because, as you said, I don't know him. I'm afraid of the days when it will start coming, I don't know how I would behave.
Oh what can I advise you, a delicate situation. If I tell you to pack your bags and leave, it's too late, and you write that your relationship is wonderful. And if so, it's not worth the trouble. Enjoy what you have. You do not write to have a child, if it is so in time and it will come, then things will fall into place. Good luck
I think you're selfish and you want your husband just for you.
My husband is number 4, it is normal for her to want him for herself, and the relationship between her husband and her has nothing to do with his child.
Look, nowhere is it said that you should even feel love for this child ... Just try to have a normal relationship, to be kind and good to him. Because it is certainly not easy for him with separated parents. Children suffer the most from this, try to show understanding :) And as for the wedding - is this the most important thing - to gather 200 hungry people and show how much you can spend with your husband? This is complete simplicity, sorry! It's as if you're doing it for other people, not for yourself ... Glad you have a wonderful marriage. The rest is nonsense ...
Number 6 thank you. When we signed the marriage and I was of this opinion, only he and I were important. But I don't know if he understood me, I'm talking about those moments when something happens and I get bored and I start .... I'm a child, my parents never deprived me of anything, I asked for it, I had it, he did it he experienced this, he had the wedding, he was the groom, why should I miss him, why should I deprive myself of it. And some torments, some comparisons, some comparisons begin. This torments me.
I'm number 6. I understand you somewhat. But at this stage you can actually do 2 things: -try not to think about it and live your life; or - to hold a banquet with your husband for relatives and friends and to celebrate it properly in order to make it easier for you; For something else I can't think of anything to advise you :) Maybe a honeymoon in some nice place? :)
When people don't have significant problems, they create them. for the wedding you sound like a spoiled girl who hasn't received a princess dress. 3 years later to harass for the wedding is complete nonsense. for the child, things are more serious now. you can't hide from him forever, and you're probably hurting your husband. just meet him, take him out to the movies, swings or whatever is appropriate for his age and be kind to him. do not overplay, do not try to behave like a mother, no one expects this from you and gradually things will work out. make some effort, this child will always be a part of your husband's life