This year I'm graduating with a master's degree, working and living abroad, and I'm actually doing my internship right now. I had the chance to be hired in an amazing company where I wanted to stay at work. I don't think I will find such conditions elsewhere, and the team is nice. But there is one problem. I am convinced that one of the managers is in love with me. Until recently, I thought I was imagining and told myself that maybe I was exaggerating myself. At least she is married with 3 children. She is 13 years older than me and from the very beginning, she looked at me somehow so strangely. This did not bother me in any way, I thought it was a matter of curiosity since I am a foreigner, of pure sympathy.
Recently she found out from colleagues that I was leaving with one of the interns, we are three in total - 2 girls and 1 boy. And since the boy lives near me and comes by car, and I with public transport, we started coming back together. The next day, she gave me a job exactly 2 minutes before the end of the workday so I could stay after work and he could leave (like everyone else). Her argument was that it would help her move forward with her day's work. Of course, I couldn't refuse her, it took me less than 10 minutes. And her argument was absurd because it was about entering data from a table, she showed me 7-8 lines that she wanted to enter, and the whole board was extremely long. Therefore, the argument that it would help her in this way to progress with her work for the day was absurd. These 7-8 lines were a drop in the ocean, and it really wasn't an urgent matter, it could be done the next day or even left for the next week. Anyway, I thought it was a test of patience, I did what I had to do, went through the office to tell her, and wished her a pleasant evening. She thanked me, also wished me a pleasant evening somehow satisfied. The boy came out, dude, waiting for me in the parking lot, and the first thing he told me when we got in the car was that the manager was acting weird this week. We laughed and deliberately changed the subject because I didn't want him to come to my conclusions. In the days that followed, I noticed that she began to dress the way I had dressed the day before. For example, on Wednesday I was wearing a red shirt, a black jacket and black pants.
On Thursday, she came dressed like that. On Thursday, I was wearing a black blouse and blue pants. She came dressed like that on Friday. A few days ago we were training together. The group was about 15 people about 7 people sitting opposite each other (the tables were arranged in the shape of the letter P). She sat on my side, there were three people between us. The training was super short, no more than 30 minutes, during which there was a presentation and explanations by the trainer. Twice I caught her staring at me. Both times I cut off eye contact, first because I was embarrassed, and second, perhaps because I knew subconsciously that if I didn't, she wouldn't. It was not cold in the hall, we were all short-sleeved.
I noticed that the skin on her hands was bristling to the max. Of course, she might just have been cold. Another thing that impresses me is that it gives different things to do to me, but not to the other two interns. Therefore, and talk more to me than to them. This week he came to ask me about some tasks that needed to be done. As he spoke to me, he touched my shoulder, held his hand, but also move your body away at the same time (take a step back). It was very strange because the most logical thing when you touch someone is to get closer to their body, not to move away. After I didn't move or react in any way, she removed her hand from my shoulder and moved closer. The way he looks at me also I think is indicative of my doubts.
She looks at me like boys who have obviously shown me that they like me. If she stops here, I won't have any worries. I can easily pretend to be hit and in no way will I make her feel naughty. By the way, she is an extremely reserved woman, both emotionally and in her stories. I still can't believe that a guy like her is behaving like that. She's not conflicted, I've never heard her speak ill of anyone, and she's really trying to be super delicate. I respect her and hope in no way to make her feel bad.
What advice would you give me? Do you think she will stop here? I am convinced that at some point, he will realize the real situation. After all, she is in a managerial position, married with three children, and I am an intern and just this whole picture is not in her favor. I have almost four more months until the end, but as I wrote at the beginning, I want to stay here after that. It would be a pity if I had to leave because of something like that… but as I wrote at the beginning, I want to stay here after that. It would be a pity if I have to leave because of something like that… but as I wrote at the beginning, I want to stay here after that. It would be a pity if I had to leave because of something like that…
Answers 16
Ah, are you a woman or ???
I think he's more jealous of the boy than you, so he's looking for a job so you're not together and he's dressing like you to impress him.
Well go to bed quo so much with a woman is much stronger you will see.
I don't see anything wrong with knocking. What if there are 3 children? This is not an argument at all in this situation, and you mention it twice. If she attracts you sexually, let her lick you.
To number 1: are you simple or not? Speak in the feminine eats that she is a woman!
You can just be nice to her or remind her of someone without having lesbian sex.
Horeysho ...: D I came laughing: D That's probably 1925521 people in love with me. : D Take care of your work and don't do absurd things
I don't know the woman's case, but I'm a lesbian and everything you list - I would do it if I like you. The initial touch is only with the hand from a distance to study the area. If you pull away abruptly at the gesture made in this way, then you did not expect at all and I have nothing to worry about. If you stay calm, then I can get closer. If my hand stays on you, however, it becomes too intimate, because when I approach my body, it is a hug. :-) I don't know if I would stop there. I have stopped many times to such a level - as the woman gave a clear indication that she is busy or that she has no interest. There were women who asked me directly about my sexual orientation and after my answer told me that they were not like that and if I could, I withdrew. There were those which I have met with their husbands (or boyfriends) and I have stopped thinking about them - to live their lives, I do not want to be a mistress. There were those who simply did not respond to my gestures, it is clear that they do not understand me, and if they do not understand me - then they are not with my sexual orientation. Then I don't bother them. They may like it, but I don't like those wandering between men and women. I could advise you just not to understand her hints, gestures, looks, etc. Don't worry about her, behave naturally and treat her like everyone else. If he does something more - kisses you, caresses you more like that - just explain that you are not so interested. He should show understanding. and if they don't understand me, then they are not of my sexual orientation. Then I don't bother them. They may like it, but I don't like those wandering between men and women. I could advise you just not to understand her hints, gestures, looks, etc. Don't worry about her, behave naturally and treat her like everyone else. If he does something more - kisses you, caresses you more like that - just explain that you are not so interested. He should show understanding. and if they don't understand me, then they are not of my sexual orientation. Then I don't bother them. They may like it, but I don't like those wandering between men and women. I could advise you just not to understand her hints, gestures, looks, etc. Don't worry about her, behave naturally and treat her like everyone else. If he does something more - kisses you, caresses you more - just explain that you are not so interested. He should show understanding. If he does something more - kisses you, caresses you more like that - just explain that you are not so interested. He should show understanding. If he does something more - kisses you, caresses you more like that - just explain that you are not so interested. He should show understanding.
Disgusting and nasty, show indifference and try to avoid it.
Until he tells you in plain text "go to bed I'll eat", it's only in your head. You can not do anything. If you don't let her go, she'll fire you. If you offer it, she will fire you again. If you go to bed, he will fire you on the first day. There is only one way. Wearing a dictaphone when you're around her. Eventually if something happens you have evidence of sexual harassment. They care a lot about these things. Grandpa Tosho
The author Thank you very much for the answers! Ten days later, some things seemed to become clear to me. Number 2, I don't think it's because he sent the boy to be almost all working hours in a neighboring office, in another building, about 300-350 meters from us, under the pretext of helping colleagues there. If she was jealous of him, she wouldn't do it. She just found a sure way to get rid of him so she wasn't around. Number 6, in the beginning I was almost entirely in your opinion. But too many things seemed to have accumulated. Number 9, terribly comprehensive answer. At the very least, the way of thinking was explained to me in detail. By the way, she stopped talking to me. The last time we talked, he started to blush a lot, and there were a few people around. She seemed vulnerable and immediately walked away. From then on, when he spoke to the trainees, stands next to me or around me and turns to the other two and communicates almost exclusively with them. However, he often finds himself around when I walk around the office. It is as if he is looking for some physical intimacy, even indirectly. As for the clothes, always combine part of mine from the previous day with something pink. For example, if I was wearing a white shirt and jeans, the next day she was wearing a white shirt and pink pants. If I'm wearing a black blouse and blue pants, the next day she's wearing a pink blouse and blue pants. I know it may be a coincidence, but I prefer to point it out. It is obvious that there is some inner tension on her part when she is around me. I constantly feel him looking at me. She is extremely cautious and careful both in her movements and in her speech. I can't figure out at the moment if it's one sleep or if it's just really sunken to some degree. Anyway, I think she's reasonable, and even if she has something on her side, she'll leave it at that. She won't talk about it, I don't think she would take any more decisive action, at least for now.
The author I don't know if anyone is interested in exactly how this story unfolds, but let me share. I stayed at work. I was lucky enough for a colleague to leave a post super suitable for me, fully corresponding to my language training. I was immediately asked if I wanted to take it, and I agreed. I officially finished my studies. Now I was sent to the office in the next building, because in the building where the department where I work is, there is no room for all employees. And since there are 4-5 people there (out of a total of 40 for the whole department), the management decided that it is good to have a manager in our building from time to time, to whom to turn in case of a problem. I do not need to specify who expressed a desire to come to spend the mornings or afternoons with us: D Several times she interferes with her husband in various topics discussed with colleagues and directly observes how I will react. I do not react in any way. Maybe that's why he stopped doing it. Every time I turn to her for something and talk to her, she blushes a hell of a lot. When he talks to someone else, he doesn't. Otherwise, she is kind every time. Even when he addresses me, the way he pronounces my name is not the same as the others. He complimented my hair recently because I had a haircut. I thanked her. She blushed again. She started going to the gym obviously. She became super tight. She was weak, but now she is terribly athletic. There were strikes on Friday and no transport. I had warned her that I would stay until later because there was a lot of work, and I did not want to leave her for next week. She answered me, that it is normal for this time of year, thanks for my initiative. There were only two of us left in the office. I talked to her from time to time about various things related to work, so as not to be embarrassed to be silent. And it was a good time to share her problems. She stayed with me until the end. It's an hour and a half after hours. He offered to take me somewhere. I refused. She told me once more that she didn't stop her from taking me somewhere. I tactfully diverted the subject again. Then she told me she was leaving and her exact words were "so you won't tell me yes". I simply replied that I would return in another way. In fact, I had really arranged to be picked up by car. This last incident remained in my head in one way or another. She never insisted on anything, but this time it was as if she wasn't herself. thanks for my initiative. There were only two of us left in the office. I talked to her from time to time about various things related to work, so as not to be embarrassed to be silent. And it was a good time to share her problems. She stayed with me until the end. It's an hour and a half after hours. He offered to take me somewhere. I refused. She told me once more that she didn't stop her from taking me somewhere. I tactfully diverted the subject again. Then she told me she was leaving and her exact words were "so you won't tell me yes". I simply replied that I would return in another way. In fact, I had really arranged to be picked up by car. This last incident remained in my head in one way or another. She never insisted on anything, but this time it was as if she wasn't herself. thanks for my initiative. There were only two of us left in the office. I talked to her from time to time about various things related to work, so as not to be embarrassed to be silent. And it was a good time to share her problems. She stayed with me until the end. It is an hour and a half after working hours. He offered to take me somewhere. I refused. She told me once more that she didn't stop her from taking me somewhere. I tactfully diverted the subject again. Then she told me she was leaving and her exact words were "so you won't tell me yes". I simply replied that I would return in another way. In fact, I had really arranged to be picked up by car. This last incident remained in my head in one way or another. She never insisted on anything, but this time it was as if she wasn't herself. I talked to her from time to time about various things related to work, so as not to be embarrassed to be silent. And it was a good time to share her problems. She stayed with me until the end. It's an hour and a half after hours. He offered to take me somewhere. I refused. She told me once more that she didn't stop her from taking me somewhere. I tactfully diverted the subject again. Then she told me she was leaving and her exact words were "so you won't tell me yes". I simply replied that I would return in another way. In fact, I had really arranged to be picked up by car. This last incident remained in my head in one way or another. She never insisted on anything, but this time it was as if she wasn't herself. I talked to her from time to time about various things related to work, so as not to be embarrassed to be silent. And it was a good time to share her problems. She stayed with me until the end. It's an hour and a half after hours. He offered to take me somewhere. I refused. She told me once more that she didn't stop her from taking me somewhere. I tactfully diverted the subject again. Then she told me she was leaving and her exact words were "so you won't tell me yes". I simply replied that I would return in another way. In fact, I had really arranged to be picked up by car. This last incident remained in my head in one way or another. She never insisted on anything, but this time it was as if she wasn't herself. And it was a good time to share her problems. She stayed with me until the end. It's an hour and a half after hours. He offered to take me somewhere. I refused. She told me once more that she didn't stop her from taking me somewhere. I tactfully diverted the subject again. Then she told me she was leaving and her exact words were "so you won't tell me yes". I simply replied that I would return in another way. In fact, I had really arranged to be picked up by car. This last incident remained in my head in one way or another. She never insisted on anything, but this time it was as if she wasn't herself. And it was a good time to share her problems. She stayed with me until the end. It's an hour and a half after hours. He offered to take me somewhere. I refused. She told me once more that she didn't stop her from taking me somewhere. I tactfully diverted the subject again. Then she told me she was leaving and her exact words were "so you won't tell me yes". I simply replied that I would return in another way. In fact, I had really arranged to be picked up by car. This last incident remained in my head in one way or another. She never insisted on anything, but this time it was as if she wasn't herself. I tactfully diverted the subject again. Then she told me she was leaving and her exact words were "so you won't tell me yes". I simply replied that I would return in another way. In fact, I had really arranged to be picked up by car. This last incident remained in my head in one way or another. She never insisted on anything, but this time it was as if she wasn't herself. I tactfully diverted the subject again. Then she told me she was leaving and her exact words were "so you won't tell me yes". I simply replied that I would return in another way. In fact, I had really arranged to be picked up by car. This last incident remained in my head in one way or another. She never insisted on anything, but this time it was as if she wasn't herself.
Make scissors to pass her desire, or you can spread a rise for dessert. Now is the time to experiment and do nonsense. When your squirrel withers, you will look for the manager, but it will be too late ...
I don't know if it's too late to give you advice, but I'll do it. I am also in another country and I am a manager, so I hope to be useful to you. If it makes you feel uncomfortable - this is reason enough to talk to the HR manager. If he is your direct boss - this is sex harassment and be sure that they will take him very seriously and do their best to stop him. If you have a close friend at work - share with her to have a witness. If you think the situation is not so serious - try to hint that you like men and even if you can somehow insert in a conversation in front of her that you have nothing against homosexuals, but it's just not for you. But - be careful how you sound - try to be neat and politically correct. If you then feel any attempt on her part for revenge - run immediately to HR. Although it doesn't look like that from the side - in fact you are in a stronger position. Especially if there are witnesses. Good luck.
The author Only I think I can solve the problem myself? As a matter of fact, apart from the story I'm telling you, it has an impeccable reputation. She has been working in the company for more than 10 years, she is extremely competent, of course very well with all colleagues, nothing bad can be said about her at all. He is definitely a man with many qualities that has proven itself over time. I do not want to cause trouble in any way, neither in my favor nor in hers. Besides, I have no evidence or witnesses. The fact that he blushes, that he dresses in any color or that he inserts comments that can be understood ambiguously is not an argument. She plays super clean if I have to be honest. There is nothing specific that can be used against her if the issue is raised. Apparently naive I still believe that it's about some staggering on the right path on her part ... And despite everything, not just because he is my direct boss, but because that's how I feel, I don't want to go against her in such an ugly way. We are women, no matter what she does, she can't force me to sleep with her. It is strange that despite this situation I have a good opinion of her and I do not want to cause her any inconvenience.
At first, when I read the story (especially when I realized that you are both women), I decided that you were getting into it and it was funny. However, after reading the sequel in your comments, I think that your manager really hides some emotions towards you. And because I was in a similar situation, but in the traditional version - he - a man, I - a woman, I will write you some things on the subject. In fact, it will be a long time. My colleague in a leadership position liked me (he didn't take me down aggressively, but he definitely liked me). And when we like someone very much, at some point it always shows. That's why I recognized many of the signs you wrote. Staying in the office late with you for no apparent reason, suggestions for sending, additional work tasks that are never too difficult, but rather appear as a common "homework" for the two of you ... My high-ranking colleague seemed to be shrinking around me and looking for my company again. But without any sex hints and pressure. At first I panicked and thought what kind of trouble he would get me into. Although he is a nice man, I just didn't like him, and I didn't even perceive him as a person, because ... E, because bosses are a separate category of creatures: D If it matters, then I was 24 and he was 34-5 , bachelor. I shared with friends and we started filming together. I was already expecting something to happen. To go and touch me next to the printer, for example ... At times I behaved dully, rudely, sharply. I probably even insulted him with my gestures. I was just ready to jump on the knife to defend my dignity and work. Months passed, and he continued to behave like a humble classmate in love. To help me with various things. It already disgusted me. Just before the office Christmas party, he suggested we go to the bar where the event was going to be, to help him organize some things. I had already filmed so much that I cut it quite roughly without looking him in the eye. He told me he wanted to talk. I don't know how I got used to sitting together in a pizzeria at lunch. I must have wanted it to end already. My heart was pounding, I thought that "he will now start with the offers to become his mistress." But nothing like that happened. He explained to me that he liked me a lot at first, but he realized a long time ago that nothing would come of it, because I obviously don't feel the same way. That he didn't want to show emotion, but it was obvious to him. He didn't want to avoid us like mice in the office. He never intended to make me uncomfortable ... Well, dear author, he was completely honest with me. Months ago, he had given up on the idea of something happening between us. He turned out to be a decent, normal, open person. And I was dying of shame and I couldn't swallow my stupid salad. It turned out that after I cut it, he called another colleague and they both arranged balloons and tied ribbons for the Christmas party ... As you can guess, he neither took it off nor touched it: D 5 years have passed. He is still aware of me. At one time he even got married. He hardly remembers his emotions towards me and the shame of the first months when he liked me. But to this day, I am ashamed of the way I treated him. One tip: Your manager is a person like everyone else. Being your boss doesn't make her a robot. Each of us has fallen in love with the wrong people. So far she hasn't done anything wrong to you. You can hope that her feelings are shared (since when is this a bad thing?), she may simply not be able to suppress them. As long as she treats you humanely, as long as she respects you, don't punish her for it. Don't make my mistake. We all have emotions and feelings and you don't have to beware of her as if she were a leper. Just tactfully hint to her that you don't like her. Or she does nothing - time will tell her that there is no chance. If she starts pressuring you to do anything against your will, you know how to find at least 3 ways to complain or file a complaint. If she doesn't, however, let her experience her emotions with dignity, because I guarantee you that if you behave the way I did, then you will feel much worse yourself. don't punish her for that. Don't make my mistake. We all have emotions and feelings and you don't have to beware of her as if she were a leper. Just tactfully hint to her that you don't like her. Or she does nothing - time will tell her that there is no chance. If she starts pressuring you to do anything against your will, you know how to find at least 3 ways to complain or file a complaint. If she doesn't, however, let her experience her emotions with dignity, because I guarantee you that if you behave the way I did, then you will feel much worse yourself. don't punish her for that. Don't make my mistake. We all have emotions and feelings and you don't have to beware of her as if she were a leper. Just tactfully hint to her that you don't like her. Or she does nothing - time will tell her that there is no chance. If she starts pressuring you to do anything against your will, you know how to find at least 3 ways to complain or file a complaint. If she doesn't, however, let her experience her emotions with dignity, because I guarantee you that if you behave the way I did, then you will feel much worse yourself. you know how to find at least 3 ways to complain or file a complaint. If she doesn't, however, let her experience her emotions with dignity, because I guarantee you that if you behave the way I did, then you will feel much worse yourself. you know how to find at least 3 ways to complain or file a complaint. If she doesn't, however, let her experience her emotions with dignity, because I guarantee you that if you behave the way I did, then you will feel much worse yourself.