Hello, I am 22, I have a friend of about 2 years. We love each other a lot, we don't fight, we even started talking about a child, a family. We are financially secure, we both have homes, everything is fine so far, but there is one BUT! There's something I've been hiding from him from the beginning, so I don't lose it if I tell him. I am from another ethnic group, but it is not obvious to me, it is obvious to my relatives, but for now he did not suspect anything, at least I think so. I think people, is it right before we start something more serious - children, marriage, to tell him this about my origin, if I have to lose it at the cost, it weighs a lot on me that during these 2 years I was silent out of fear, because I love him very much. Help with posts and hopefully no attacks!
Answers 12
Well, um, you weren't very honest with him ... But even if he broke up with you because of that, then it just wasn't worth communicating with such a person. If for him the ethnos is above the human qualities, then it is still too green in life and spiritual terms, and nothing good awaits you with it. Look, it's much more dangerous, in my opinion, for your parents not to take any steps in an attempt to separate you. Then it will be naughty, especially if you are still dependent on them ...
If your close relatives are more than 50 in number (brothers, sisters, cousin, aunts, uncles). If you take the woman, you take the family.
"Is it right before we start something more serious - children, marriage to tell him this about my origin" No, make 2 children and then tell him. Why be in such a hurry?
Talk to your friend. Explain to him that you wanted him to meet you first as a person, so you haven't told him yet, but you think it's time to confess and tell him. If you hide from him, it will get worse. Once he communicates with your relatives, he will always understand and then you can really have problems not because of anything else, but because of your lie. Fear is a bad advisor.
Hmm, why do you think he didn't understand anymore! Think about it a little ....
To number 1 "If for him the ethnos is above the human qualities, then it is still too green in life and spirit, and nothing good awaits you with it" What are these cardinal conclusions, man can appreciate the human qualities, but it does not mean that one must or is obliged to accept a person who is from another ethnic group! This is a personal choice, and who knows what problems they will get into, we know how our society accepts mixed marriages. I, if I were the author and respected the person next to me in the beginning I would tell him, otherwise it happens after the rain hood-let him fall in love, to entangle him in his net and at a later stage I will tell him, absolutely wrong approach, wrong your and if you leave one day get angry at yourself not at him!
Of course you have to tell him. If you are hesitant about how he will accept it and you think that your ethnicity will repel him, then what kind of family and children are we talking about? If you think you might lose him because of your ethnicity, what is this person to you? It is possible that these worries are only in your head and he has long understood. If he is a normal tolerant person who loves you, this may not be a problem for him. If your confession will lead to his departure, then he is on the right path. It is not a loss to lose a person burdened with such prejudices and lack of tolerance.
You didn't act honestly with him because you built the relationship on a big lie! Of course, if he loves you, he won't care, but you still have to tell him!
The fact that you are ashamed of yourself ??? Chick, you should not be ashamed of what you are and where you are from.
Of course you have to tell him.
It's not fair to your friend. If she had told him at the beginning, he would have decided which is the right solution for him and for you. A relationship that is built on a lie and it is not an important relationship. Be sure to tell him if the boy really wants a family with you. Yes, he may leave you, but he may not. The fact that you do not see the ethnicity is not a prerequisite to make someone fall in love and subsequently admit it to him, you are lying to yourself and the person next to you!
Fake theme. Babe from the paint with her own home, goes with a Bulgarian (instead of a father to make her a virgin on the market), and the boy for two years did not understand that she is from the ethnic group ... come on;) FAKE!