Hello, I have been following the site for many years, I have even given advice many times, and sometimes I have come in just to see other people's problems. I didn't believe that it would be my turn to sign here, but that's what happened. My story is not interesting, but for me it is something new in my life and I am puzzled. Specifically - I am a man of 26 years, I have a girlfriend for 6-7 years and like any other such long relationship, and this time comes separately - the two options are clear to everyone. And right here I don't know what to do. I am very confused and this is new to me, because all my life I have been purposeful, purposeful, I have always known what I want and how to achieve it, and now I feel so insecure and ignorant that I have no words. I don't even know exactly how to describe what's bothering me.
What perhaps "bites" me the most is that this is my first serious relationship, besides, I haven't been with a woman for a long time. That is, I have no basis for comparing how I would feel in another relationship. Which is not to say that I can't give an objective assessment of my relationship and my feelings, I haven't thrown myself blindly into this relationship. It will sound immodest, but I've cut off the desires of a lot of women for a relationship, and maybe I shouldn't have, maybe I should have tried another one, who knows. At the same time, I won't care if we break up to start another relationship, and in general ... I'm so confused that I can't even describe exactly what I think, and you may not understand what I'm trying to say. Otherwise, what can I say about my girlfriend - she is great - beautiful, intelligent, sensible, I love her very much, absolutely everyone has a good opinion of her, she is just a part of me and when I see her all the nonsense flies out of my head, but if I was left alone, that's all I think about. And so for a month or two. We get along great, but as everyone with a long relationship knows, after years people get bored, the thrill is lost, but at the expense of love and respect. I also wonder if we didn't get too small in this regard? I'm really confused, if we stay together, maybe in time these thoughts will disappear, but they may haunt me for the rest of my life. On the other hand, if we separate, I may not forgive myself for the rest of my life that I lost her. What to do? .... So, I just wanted to pour out my thoughts somewhere that are so chaotic that you may not understand any of them. Thanks to everyone who read my nonsense! :) but on the other hand, love and respect come. I also wonder if we didn't get too small in this regard?
I'm really confused, if we stay together, maybe in time these thoughts will disappear, but they may haunt me for the rest of my life. On the other hand, if we separate, I may not forgive myself for the rest of my life that I have lost her. What to do? .... So, I just wanted to pour out my thoughts somewhere that are so chaotic that you may not understand any of them. Thanks to everyone who read my nonsense! :) but on the other hand, love and respect come. I also wonder if we didn't get too small in this regard? I'm really confused, if we stay together, maybe in time these thoughts will disappear, but they may haunt me for the rest of my life. On the other hand, if we separate, I may not forgive myself for the rest of my life that I lost her. What to do? .... So, I just wanted to pour out my thoughts somewhere that are so chaotic that you may not understand any of them. Thanks to everyone who read my nonsense! :) I just wanted to pour out my thoughts somewhere that are so chaotic that you may not understand any of them. Thanks to everyone who read my nonsense! :) I just wanted to pour out my thoughts somewhere that are so chaotic that you may not understand any of them. Thanks to everyone who read my nonsense! :)
Answers 11
Dude, look what I'm going to tell you, I'm in the opposite situation - I've always wanted a serious relationship, but I've always been in the trash. Decent women do not meet under the road and over the road, so my advice is to look at your girlfriend, because there may come a time when you are bitterly sorry.
There is a lot written about the crisis at the age of 7. Maybe it is good to look for opinions of psychologists on the site and to compare with your situation.
Take a piece of paper and write the pros and cons of your relationship. If you decide to stay with your girlfriend (I don't really know exactly what your problem is, I think you create one yourself just because you're tired of it), spend more time on yourself - take up a hobby of your own, for example. If you decide not to be with her, by no means enter into another relationship. Give yourself time, pamper yourself, feel the independence, including the emotional one, and then make decisions about relationships.
There is no eternal love, my man there is no point in changing the woman after the emotions will pass with the other sooner or later. No one can escape monotony.
I understand you - for me things were similar, but ended after the fifth year. He was my whole world, his self-confidence made me follow him everywhere, I listened to him about everything over the years, I was completely devoted to him and we were all very happy until at one point it became painful. Our love had transformed into a form of intimacy between best friends - no thrill, no zeal. We broke up five months ago, each following his own path, as we are at important stages in our lives (we are both 25 years old), and we have no similarities in our understanding of life in general and our dreams. Today he has a new girlfriend, and although their things are not serious, I feel that I went the wrong way - I don't even want a new relationship, I don't want anything, there is a wasteland around me. Therefore, my advice to you is to do everything possible to revive your relationship, while you still can, while she is still your girl, light the fire and don't think much of him, just follow your heart. I did not follow my own, thinking that everything is a habit, that we are very different, and that he is not the most accurate for me, and now it is difficult for me to find the strength to be myself again. I wrote you all this so that you could learn and not make a mistake like me, ending something wonderful without the time coming! Success!
Suggest that you give yourself some time. Be in an open relationship. See how you feel with others. If you're still thinking about it, get together, if not - split up once and for all. I do not know. Strange situation. In your place, I would post a topic like yours.
Of course, I'm just surprised that you're not a woman, but a man, such an expression is typical of them. Otherwise, it's easy, dude, everyone regrets something, whether it's for a long-legged or big-breasted woman, whether it's for a missed job, or for some other choice. Some regret less, others who are more insecure more. And since you are a man and not a woman, I will tell you that the only important thing in this life is to behave like a man and be in place, the rest are details. You can't have such a long relationship and not share with her what's going on or not come out of this situation with dignity. Stop mouseing, don't do half the work and everything will be fine m35
Hehe, dude ... you're too young - that's the reason. Nowadays, with these communications and means of transportation, one has the opportunity to experience many connections, and most often it does ... Imagine what it was like to be in a village when going to your neighbor was a whole event where everyone they knew each other, there were no phones, not even watches, and people orientated themselves in the sun when they had it :) Try others, gain experience, even if you don't have dirt, that you haven't "made a living", nor questions like "what would happen if? ...". And in the end, it may turn out that you and your current girlfriend were the best choice, who knows? Otherwise, as you describe it, if you don't want it anymore - send it to me! I promise I'll take good care of her while you think about it,
A common problem - a person feels best where he is not. Supposedly, we feel soooo special, and certainly around the corner we are waiting for something better. And when we go to that corner, we tell ourselves that behind the next one is even better. You understood what I wanted to tell you, didn't you? Watch your wife, that because of the same thoughts, my friend still can't survive an 8-year relationship, which he ended for the same reasons. Wonderful
Thank you all for taking the time to read and write! There is a dose of truth in every opinion and also advice that I will take into account. Numbers 7 and 9 are right, I'm acting like a bitch and I'm wondering if I'm missing something, but it's really the first time I've not known what I want and wonder what's better. I just want to say that I talked to her about our relationship and told her everything I think, and she turned out to be as confused and ignorant as I was about the subject. I also thought of a version of the proposal of number 6, but maybe in the end I will put on my rags and after a while the mental simplicity that bothers me at the moment will pass. Thanks again to everyone, in such situations any advice is valuable and I appreciate it. I wish you all health and good luck;)
Hello !!! I can tell you that I fully understand you. It's as if I wrote this story. I am 25 and we have been together for 6 years. There are two options, either everything is exhausted, or it is a moment of crisis in your relationship. You wonder if these thoughts will fade away or will haunt you .. They faded away from me, but they kept coming back ... :( It's awful, I'm not happy, but I don't have the strength for anything ... He didn't pay attention to me, only from the time of time and now I stopped muttering, gray everyday life .. Now, even when I'm happy, it's still this .. We had periods when we didn't talk, at least how our day went ... Nothing .. From work, dinner and the laptop .. Sometimes we don't even sit at the table together. I really agree with most of the advice, let's try to smooth things over, but I have nowhere else to go: ((((