Hello! I really like the site and how people support themselves with an opinion when it's not easy for someone. I am 33 years old, married. I can't complain about my marriage - each of us tries, but something else weighs on me. I know I'm not young and I hope I took my life in my arms, but since I can remember, my mother has always loved my little brother more. He is 28 years old. He still lives with our parents, he is not married. My childhood was not easy - my father drank a lot when he was young. And while my mother and I didn't sleep all night, my brother was small and hardly understood any of these stories. There are many events from my childhood and I remember them with pain. The memory of how my mother took my brother after another drunken night and went to his parents was especially vividly imprinted. He didn't say a word to me. I asked her to come back - and she did. I don't know if I should feel guilty - this situation has been repeated many times. My father doesn't drink today. They have a family business and my brother and I take good care of him. I'm no longer part of their family, let alone business. I visit only by invitation. Even my child's granddaughter's birthdays are neglected on the grounds that they have a lot of work to do. For as long as I can remember, I've been told that I'm someone else's dinner. Nobody cares about my problems. I feel like I have to forget that I have parents. I have been asked for financial help, I cannot expect that. These relationships deepen with each passing day. They rarely call, and when we see each other it just doesn't work. Is it possible, is such alienation normal I know that a really good parent is the one who makes leaning unnecessary. But it hurts, it hurts terribly to see how my brother's problems are my parents' problems - both emotionally and financially, in everything. He is not independent in any way. He never worked with a boss, my parents wouldn't let that happen. His wishes are a priority and I am constantly witnessing benefits for which my parents are responsible. His self-confidence grew and he soon told me that I had to work harder if I wanted the corresponding benefits ... Today I learned that it is best to ask for oneself. I consider my life meaningful because I do everything in my power to fight it. But with living parents / May they be alive and healthy for a long time! /, I feel alone. I understand that my family is what I wake up with every morning. And I'm grateful. But sometimes a person needs to cry on the mother's shoulder. And I don't remember any moment of being close to my mother. I just don't remember. And it doesn't stop hurting.
Answers 9
I have almost the same problem with my mother but over the years she has become indifferent to me! Love the person next to you - in difficult and happy moments he will be inseparable from you! Unfortunately, one cannot choose the parents, otherwise one would choose the most ideal ones, and at a time when your mother needs you, just show where she has made a mistake over the years, maybe then she would think twice, even though it is quite late! Good luck
Hello from me! I can tell you a lot and a little, but I think it is literally pointless to turn the problem into a discussion! Apparently the saying: "Blood - water does not happen!", Is definitely not true! And I have proved it to myself! This alienation, this attitude, is not normal, but it is obvious that it exists! Therefore, I would advise you to forget these people and not to think about them! Not with malice, but simply to ignore them from your life and focus on YOUR family! May God make a good choice with your husband, to understand and support each other! This is your life and don't waste it! Just live it with a smile and desire! You can't bring them back to you, make them love you! If you continue in this way - you will ruin your psyche, your family, your life! Let them live their miserable lives! Thank them that they created you, that you are now enjoying YOUR LIFE and ... put a cross on everything! I'm sure it's clear to you that time heals if you don't give free rein to your thoughts! That's what I think, and you decide what to do! I wish you happiness and luck from the bottom of my heart!
Don't worry, it's the same with me. There is a saying in my area: "Let the most nephew be, be a son". The daughter is nothing. My brother is 2 years younger than me. From the moment I saw him, I hated him and so far. Out of jealousy. But it's not his fault, it's them. They have always divided us. Everything is for him - a house, a villa, a car, love, he was still the little one of mom and dad, he still didn't understand - and when he understood to steal from the store, and when he was too lazy to work and they supported him, and now he is the little one - 40 is! We haven't seen or talked to each other in years. For years, when I saw my mother, she only cared about his problems. Eventually I got fed up and forbade her to mention it to me. At least my mother didn't leave me. But how he beat me ... horror. Because of her and the difficult character of my father, I married very young for the first one I met, but it was made of thorns, and hawthorn, and taller, for a stranger on top of that with a jealous evil mother. Now I have 2 big children who only want money from me, a friend with whom we often quarrel viciously, a fan who dies of love for me because he does not know what an evil bitch loneliness, insecurity, neglect of loved ones and infidelity of ex-husband. Glad you have a good family, I can tell you that, because I don't have that either.
Hello! I sympathize with you so sincerely, but as the woman wrote in the above answers, enjoy your family, your daughter, your husband - they are only yours and you are theirs. It is unlikely that your brother will be able to cope alone if he is left without your parents one day, because we humans leave and those remain behind us. As he is used to lying constantly on their shoulders one day he will not be able to cope. It's not your fault that your mother has left so many times, it's her fault. Children are the most important thing, and she obviously doesn't appreciate it that way, because whatever child, whether a girl or a boy, is yours and no one else's. I'm sure you're a great mother, and if you have a second child, and I wish it on you, I'll never make that difference. I wish you success and the most sincere happiness with the people next to you, with those who truly love you!
Thank you people! And I wish all of you from the bottom of my heart to be happy!
Number 3, I don't think you're as much as you call yourself "evil bitch" I would give you my heart ...
Number 6, I'm number 3, I'm not a vicious bitch, I'm terribly depressed, straight for a psychiatrist.
Number 3, fight darling, don't give up! I know you're strong! Don't give up, please. Never give up. There is always hope for everything and everyone. Don't give up, okay ?!
:) Hello! It was the same with me. I married a man they didn't want, at the age of 19, and my father immediately changed the lock on the door, and when my daughter was a 16-day-old baby, I was with them after the birth because we were in poor housing, they kicked me out. my father, or rather expelled me /. I have been terribly depressed for 4 years, I know from that day that I can't count on them for anything. At first I hated them, then I forgave them from the bottom of my heart and I didn't really want anything, but I also became cold to their problems. The worst thing is that my relationship with my daughter becomes the same, and I can't control it. I also have a younger son. I can't count on my husband 100% either. I endured, but I became cold to be alive and at peace with myself.