My parents, who dreamed so much about grandchildren, went so far as not to know their grandson because they are still very busy. The child is 3 years old and has seen them no more than once a year. We rarely hear each other on the phone. As a result of these circumstances, my wife and I took great offense and stopped looking for them without telling them that we were angry and accordingly they did not call. Before, when I had no children, they constantly complained that they wanted grandchildren. When I told them they would have a granddaughter, they were happy to heaven. The child was born, and they became very busy, both retired and tending the village garden. They complain about how busy they are with the garden and when I ask them why they are trembling they say that they still enjoy it. When we take the child there, they shout at him not to walk, not to step on it, if the ball falls into the flowers, it becomes a problem, they are angry that the child has scratched the tiles with chalk, and when the child is meek and does not disturb them in any way, they do not pay any attention to him. My grandmother reads the yellow newspaper, my grandfather prefers the company of the village goatherd and my wife is constantly rushing to give birth to more grandchildren. I wonder what they are for Maybe brag to people? I must also mention the reason why we visit them so rarely, apart from the already mentioned, my sister has 3 children and they actually look after them and they are obviously fed up with donkeys and children and this is probably why this attitude towards mine. They visit them almost constantly, they raise them from babies, the big one is already 9, the little one is 4 and when they are their guests we don't go because there is no place. And they are almost constant and so we remain on the periphery. They do not look for us because they are busy with them and when their parents take them and they take care of the garden.
Answers 5
I have exactly the same problem with the difference that my parents work. But they always find time for my brother's children, they raised them from their babies and still look after them, mine have already grown up, but they never take them. I have no idea why, but they are definitely very attached to my brother's children and mine is a bit like a heavy duty. It was bad for me in the first years, then I decided that there was no point in getting nervous about things I couldn't change. And I can't be angry with them because they are my parents and they raised me.
Hello. If I tell you my story. You will see that there is worse than yours. 4 years ago I married a modest boy, but from a bad family. Now we are just waiting for a child because we have been living with my mother, a widow for 6 years. I meant we postponed for better times. I don't know my mother-in-law. She died just like my father. My father-in-law is a drunkard. There are no properties, only municipal housing. Lives for rent. He has debts because he withdrew small amounts that he did not repay. Now my husband, as he has nothing, has to do when he dies to renounce the inheritance because it is not known how much he owes. My mother and I considered returning the money. But when we return them. He pulled again. Because it turned out that even a retiree had taken out a cash loan for 300 and had to repay 600. There are no brakes. He drinks every day. They have a pigsty. Lose your phone 100 times. And he has signed nv I know how many contracts for mobile services and it is not known what he paid and what he did not. Besides, when my mother-in-law died, she was suing for unpaid water. She lost the case and when it became clear, my husband paid about two Bonas with interest. And rents are paid and electricity and water permanently. It got to the point that I had not visited the man for a long time and my husband avoided him. Only if he gives himself all the money for alcohol. His husband brings food. If you give him money. He buys brandy. My husband has a brother he married and divorced in a year. And he has unpaid top laptops and a car from both. He fled to a woman all the way to Ukraine. His wife divorced him without him appearing in court. So our child will only know his grandmother and my sister. Separately, my grandmother, my aunt and brother-in-law died recently. My husband studied himself works and manages in life alone. Without support, the relatives have given up their family. None of them came to our wedding. Although he is looking for them. They have a bad opinion of him because of his parents. Read again if you want. You will understand, maybe your parents are old and can't. They have so many opportunities. You don't mind why you're protesting, do you? Think about it.
I definitely sympathize with you, and my child is deprived of contact with his grandparents, but due to other circumstances. I can't explain in your case why they neglect one of their grandchildren and look at the others. It's not fair, but don't get angry! Unfortunately, the children grow up and start asking questions, but we will try to compensate in some way. I see no other way.
Don't deal with them. They lose. We are in the same position - the father-in-law does not want to see his grandson. He pretends to be ill and spins a mistress. And he has never seen him. The loss is for him. We don't call him anymore.
Look, don't dramatize so much. There are many people who did not even have living grandparents when they were born. For example, I had only one grandmother who lived in the village with her other child (my uncle), and I had no grandparents alive at all. And my parents raised me on their own, and I only went to visit my grandmother in the village, and we stayed at our house there, and my grandmother and I literally just went to visit each other. And my parents didn't complain at all that they raised me on their own. And you will be able to raise your child on your own, as long as my parents and other people can. This is the idea of being a parent after all - to look after your child alone, and not to leave him with grandparents while you do other 'more important' things. I have childhood friends who, as children, have always been with their grandmothers and are still traumatized.