In the following months, I was diagnosed with systemic lupus, which is a lifelong disease. The doctors have stabilized me and at the moment I feel relatively well physically, but my mental state is a bit weak. I'm not worried about the disease. In the sense that all the bad that can be taken from my parents in terms of health, I robbed him. And, frankly, I'm glad my brother didn't take anything like that from them. Well, I'm used to finding something that's treatable in a few years, not her. I feel bad because my mother and father went abroad after I was discharged from the hospital. They left because of me, because I always bring them some financial problems, and also because they hope to find some long-term and safe treatment for me. They are struggling there because of me ... Now I live with my grandparents, in fact I see aunts every day, and lonely moments are really moments - no more than 2-3 minutes. They follow me for everything - when I go to bed, when I get up, when I eat, how much I eat, what I eat, how I am dressed ... If I sneeze twice, they immediately call my personal doctor; I am constantly protected from absolutely everything - not to be blown away by a little wind, not to open my window, not to stay outside for very long ... Winter was hell, I spent it almost completely closed in us - the only exception was school, but even they take me there by car. If they see me doing something to eat, they immediately cancel me and ask me what I want to eat, they would do it ... Don't overdo it! I can't even take the dog for a walk. I don't want to bother my mother and father with these problems, they have enough on their heads anyway, but I don't find support in anyone. I feel like a captive. Everyone is hovering over me as if I'm likely to die in a second. I don't know how to deal with it, I don't know how to talk to them. I tried to explain to them quite calmly that I was not feeling well, that I wanted freedom, that they would not be with me all my life and that I should be more independent. It didn't happen, although I had arguments. I also tried shouting and screaming, but it wasn't a good tactic at all, because my grandmother has high blood pressure and ... It's not preferable to raise my voice again. Then I did not comply, which I regret. How do I get them to give me the freedom I want I just want to live, I'm young (even small). I want to go for walks in the park, I want to walk my dog, I want to walk around the neighborhood with friends ... It's not that much, is it? The disease remains and will not go away, but let me stay in place (that is, in myself), because I go crazy like that. I'm buried in books and / or textbooks all day. I love to read, but it also bothers me when you have nothing else to do.
Answers 4
Honey, they love you so much for that they do so they can't accept that you are already big and you want your freedom ...! Old people are looking at things with different eyes ..!
The author: I understand why they do it and I realize that it is good for them. I know they don't realize very clearly that this way I don't feel good. The problem is that I don't know how to explain it to them, how to explain it to them so that they understand me correctly! I do not reject their support, I am glad that they care about me and love me so much. But they overdo it with the help they give me, and they ruin me mentally. I'm sure this damn disease wouldn't have affected me so much if they hadn't treated me like I was going to die at any moment, almost. My every step is watched with anxiety and the fear of fainting, of getting sick, of something happening to me is visible through their eyes. They suggest to me that I no longer have a life, that this will be my kind of existence, filled with fear of death. And I will not die now! I will live, I have a desire, I want to live and I WILL live if I am left alone. I will finish high school, I will go to university, I will work, eventually I will have a husband and children one day. Children are also a problem because it is not advisable to give birth so as not to pass on the disease / s to the child, but in the end there are so many abandoned children ... I will try to adopt. For my grandparents, however, this is an empty life, and on top of that, my grandparents think that no man will take me because I am almost childless. Well, I have a choice! I can give birth, but would I risk passing something on to the baby? Of course not. It is better to be without a lonely old woman than to be driven mad by a tormenting mother who blames herself all her life for giving birth, condemning her child to suffering. These people stop me from thinking about the future, they don't think I have one. And why? Because of a disease that doesn't kill me? It just harms my body, threatens my life, but is not a diagnosis of "death after 20 days." I have the right to dream, to get an education, to have a family, to work! I want to live ... Why don't they understand? !! Why don't they just let me live no matter what? Is it better to be locked up at home? Is it better to lose my desire for success? Is it better to get depressed? Do I have to shout, shake, cry because they just discovered my next health problem? Why don't they just let me live no matter what? Is it better to be locked up at home? Is it better to lose my desire for success? Is it better to get depressed? Do I have to shout, shake, cry because they just discovered my next health problem? Why don't they just let me live no matter what? Is it better to be locked up at home? Is it better to lose my desire for success? Is it better to get depressed? Do I have to shout, shake, cry because they just discovered my next health problem?
Dear author, I understand what you want and it is normal, it is normal to want to have dreams, to go out and communicate with your friends. Your relatives love you very much and do everything to make you feel good. It is normal for them to worry about everything and look at you more carefully than if there was no illness. I think it would be good to talk calmly by explaining to them what from a medical point of view there is no problem to do .... I'm not familiar with the disease, but I guess there will be no problem if you make tea yourself or go out for 10- 15 minutes with the dog for a walk ... If you have to ask your doctor to tell them at the next examination, maybe they will listen to him. I hope that you will be able to understand each other and that although there is none at the moment, a cure for your illness will be found!
I think you have to do 3 things. 1. Send an email to your parents (write them everything), and ask them to talk to your grandparents. 2. Write it to your grandparents on paper, as you wrote it here, and let them read it. 2. Talk to your doctor and ask him to support you and talk to them. I think that if you do everything at once, things will change. Good luck!!..:))