When I was born, my father was 24 and my mother was 23. They were already married, married, and had their first and only child, me. I am already 24 and we soon had a conversation with my father. Unlike him, at 24 I didn't even have a girlfriend, he knew it and told me how disappointed he was. I know he never liked me because I'm more closed, but this time he told me directly that if I don't find a wife, start a family and wait for my first child within 2 years, then he doesn't want to be my father anymore because I am a shoot. He told me that if you were alone on your 26th birthday, you would no longer have a father. I replied, "That's good, so be it." Then my mother came and said that they had tried to raise and educate a man, what had they done wrong that I was like that. I told them "nothing". I also told her that 2 years is not enough, to get from loneliness to marriage with a child. The answer was "so far why not do something about it." And they are right. Now that I think about it, I realize that it's not normal to be alone forever at 24. I am ashamed of my kind. I don't know what's wrong with me, is it antisocial? It is not normal for a 24-year-old man not to be able to get a boyfriend. I've tried over the years, but they still didn't like me, which is understandable, because my "dumps", if I can call them that at all, are boring and uninteresting. I do not think of myself as handsome or very smart, I am not rich, I will not brag and attribute qualities that I do not have and justify myself to others. It is clear that the problem is in me. Do I deserve help and a chance to start over or is it too late? that it is not normal to be alone forever at 24. I am ashamed of my kind. I don't know what's wrong with me, is it antisocial? It is not normal for a 24-year-old man not to be able to get a boyfriend. I've tried over the years, but they still didn't like me, which is understandable, because my "dumps", if I can call them that at all, are boring and uninteresting. I do not think of myself as handsome or very smart, I am not rich, I will not brag and attribute qualities that I do not have and to justify myself to others. It is clear that the problem is in me. Do I deserve help and a chance to start over or is it too late? that it is not normal to be alone forever at 24. I am ashamed of my kind. I don't know what's wrong with me, is it antisocial? It is not normal for a 24-year-old man not to be able to get a boyfriend. I've tried over the years, but they still didn't like me, which is understandable, because my "dumps", if I can call them that at all, are boring and uninteresting. I do not think of myself as handsome or very smart, I am not rich, I will not brag and attribute qualities that I do not have and to justify myself to others. It is clear that the problem is in me. Do I deserve help and a chance to start over or is it too late? if I can call them that at all, they are boring and uninteresting. I don't think of myself as handsome or very smart, I'm not rich, I won't brag and attribute qualities I don't have and justify myself to others. It is clear that the problem is in me. Do I deserve help and a chance to start over or is it too late? if I can call them that at all, they are boring and uninteresting. I don't think of myself as handsome or very smart, I'm not rich, I won't brag and attribute qualities I don't have and justify myself to others. It is clear that the problem is in me. Do I deserve help and a chance to start over or is it too late?
Answers 15
You are a sulo, but not because you did not have a girlfriend, but because you let yours lead your life. How will a person your age allow other people, be they his parents, to define his life? Definitely yours have rigid thinking, and they have also managed to impose guilt / inferiority on you quite well, undermining your already low self-esteem. But let's get back to your question - it's only late when you're 2 meters underground. In other words - you are young, life is in front of you. Instead of nodding your head in front of your father for good and bad, ask him to give you advice (after all, at your age he was quite advanced with the material, right) how to approach women your age. This is the role of parents - to be supportive, unreserved.
You have stupid parents.
And who hasn't heard these things from his .... But it's nice to look around for a boyfriend ... They are from another generation .... But it's not very nice at 45 to remember .... Right?
Except that we don't live in a time of arranged marriages and conservatism, where at 24 you are already an old bachelor / girl and that defines you as a second category person. No one can give you an ultimatum for marriage and children, even in a period that is probably too short. I'm just saying that I've been in a relationship for 2 years and it never crossed my mind to get married now or in a year. I also have a lot of friends who are exactly your age and very few of them are engaged or married. Most who took this step either had an accidental pregnancy or were together from an early age. Look for a girlfriend if you want one, but don't set a deadline for marriage. That would be very stupid, people should not get married because society has demanded it, but because they want it. I'm not going to give the opinion that you haven't had a girlfriend until now, this is your personal business and I am no one to judge you. You have time, and relationships are often exaggerated.
Your parents are not normal. And if they want to deny you, but let them, you will be much better after that.
Parents who paint complexes on their children do not deserve to have them. There can be no problem in you after you have been raised and educated. And what? Does your father want to escape responsibility for his own mistake, that he raised you like that? Aren't you independent? Can't you support yourself? Why are you napping about your parents' "ultimatums"? As you describe the situation, you are obviously a mother's boy and if you say that you still live with your ... First take changes in your lifestyle and be independent. Then think about marriage. My father stopped calling me when I started to support myself at 17. And what? Let's have children because of the old ones? That there is something to be distracted by until they die ... Life is yours, children are your choice. As for women in Bulgaria, this is another topic. Me too, and all my friends are 35 and none of my company is married. This is a syndrome in the country and it is not up to you. It's just that women already look like men and our nation has become same-sex. Bulgarian women have become dramatically ugly, unlike 20 years ago. everything .... Not to mention mental health ... I have had many girlfriends and with each subsequent one I already disgust the behavior of women. Many of them lack even normal human respect. And most of them, for themselves, especially 30, are already mental, with mental disorders. There are a lot of single mothers who do not give 5 money for their children. Raise male haters or mother's sons, which then become genders. Maybe your parents are to blame for raising you as an antisocial type, but I wouldn't say that's 20% of the problem. But in no case is it your fault, you are like that and if you find one she will like you. Good luck! I hope you find an exception. There are few but there are still normal girls.
Author, don't take offense, but your parents' behavior is infantile. Yes, it's great to have a family and children, but it's not like buying bread from the store. I'm 35 and I haven't met the right woman yet. And now what, do they lynch me! Otherwise, if I was chasing some norm, I could get married at the age of 20 and have been divorced a hundred times so far. I just then decided that the girl was not for me at all and I was very right.
Why are you confused in life? Just because things went the same way for them doesn't mean you have to act the same way. You are a separate person and you judge for yourself what is good for you, even though they are your parents, they have no right to impose their opinion and confuse you! In my opinion, their reaction is extremely unacceptable and selfish ... How will they give you such ultimatums, do they even think about how this affects you. When it's time for you to meet the person for yourself, you don't have to go looking for someone now - just to satisfy your parents, because they wanted it that way, the important thing is what you want, not you!
Bad story, but the only thing you can do is take your shit and let them talk on your hat - it's up to you whether you can handle yourself, possibly another city, accommodation, personal expenses and more. I have not given such ultimatums to my children, I have married at 21, and my son is now 32, my daughter is 29 and there is no one around them. I feel some dissatisfaction with what is happening, but it is rather in the direction that the son is not realized professionally, when and for whom he will marry is not my job and I have never raised the issue. I don't know you, but if he squeezes your ass, get out of this nest - you don't owe anyone! It's all up to you, and if they put a lot of pressure on you, you can turn the situation around by telling them that it's YOU, the thing they created and your "failure" is actually theirs, to correct their mistakes, to create you again, smarter, more beautiful, richer, more social. I don't know where you are from, but your parents' thinking is agrarian, most likely you are from a small town or a village - ask your father, as he is so great, why didn't he move to a bigger city with more opportunities when he was young. , if you are extreme and brutal enough, tell your mother that you don't want to get married for village sticks like her (I don't recommend it to you, but I respond to rudeness with rudeness). I'll tell you one more thing - the time has passed when people got married early to have more children, so that there is someone to dig in the fields. You will probably get a lot of other advice (I see that 8 comments are waiting for approval), I will stop here, but it depends on you which advice you will accept and which way you will go - ultimatums for marriage, children, etc. should not be to be patient and if your father is so anxious to take it that he finds you a bride, let her. was to give birth to a grandson, even to look after him.
Look, you have to want marriage, not your father. You may get married, but you may not be happy, especially if this is not the woman for you. He is in no hurry with such things.
Hello, son! I address you this way, firstly - because it touched me and secondly - because I am a mother of two sons, aged 21 and 25. I don't want to take any parental credit, but my boys are doing well on the "love front". Yes, there were sections, but I think it's okay - that's how experience is gained. Forget the ultimatum, the pressure, don't feel indebted to anyone or anything, don't set goals you don't want, relax, don't force yourself, whatever happens will happen - sooner or later. And you're not too old, but nothing! Success!
Hello, author, for me the behavior and attitude of your parents in this case is disgusting. Instead of trying to talk to you in a human way, asking you if you need advice or sharing your problems in communicating with women, they give you absurd ultimatums and reinforce your feelings of inferiority. Instead, think about whether something in their upbringing has caused you to feel this way and have no personal life. They choose the easiest way - to shift the blame on you and wash their hands. Congratulations on trying to analyze yourself, looking for your weaknesses and acknowledging them - many other men in your situation become misogynists. I don't think that at the age of 24 you missed all the opportunities, but you need a different attitude and people to support and encourage you, your parents do the exact opposite. Tell us more about yourself - how have you approached women so far, do you have the type of woman you are looking for? Maybe you will get valuable advice on the site. Success!
For so many years without a girlfriend, people may have thought of him as gay, so now they're rushing him to calm themselves down that it's not what they think. I do not believe that there is a parent who puts such ultimatums and really thinks so. I think people will calm down if they see him with a girl.
Take your life. Live alone and do not follow their minds.
Your parents' behavior is super inadequate. Your life is yours, you decide when and how it happens, not you. Just because they got married at 24 doesn't mean you have to do the same. The bad thing is that, as fellow commentators have mentioned, you have no support in the face of your parents, quite the opposite, and that's exactly when you need it most. This is a pity. Really. I would advise you to seek the support of another close relative or friend. I think you just need someone to believe in you, that you're good enough. And I'm sure you are. Try to shake off what your parents told you and think, feel more precisely what you really want yourself! Good luck!!!