It is unlikely that the posts on the topic of infidelity will stop and maybe this is natural - infidelity is probably inherent in nature. Sometimes it leads to tragedies, other times to exciting exotics, I do not undertake to recommend or forbid it. I just want to share some personal observations on how to prevent it when it would obviously lead to unpleasant consequences. My recommendation is simple: purposefully create a habit when we are at home, next to our partner, to turn the attitude "at home" to the attitude "in front of people". We are used to "in front of people", to dress in nice clothes, to bathe and perfume, to clean our shoes, etc. And why not do the same at home, in front of and for our partner - he is ours. special person Why are outsiders more special than him / her? Yes, home is the place to relax and be yourself. And then, why not be (or transform) yourself this particular person who tries to look his best, like at the beginning of the relationship? For example, if you are a woman, why not reverse the usual behavior in the following way: when you go out, do not think about how you look more than the level of "decent", and when you go home to your husband, to devote all that attention and time, how exactly to adjust, how exactly to dress, how exactly to put on make-up, especially for him, and not to be a one-time pleasant surprise, but your usual approach in a home environment? Why don't you dress as well as you would at a special dinner with your husband when you go out with company. Why not keep the energy of consciousness in search of the most voluptuous, provocative, an over-elegant look just for him, not for the mass audience? Similarly, have you ever wondered how you talk to your boss at work and how you talk to your husband at home? If every time you come from inside to shout and mutter to him, you think about how you would react in such a situation to your boss and, accordingly, you speak exactly like that, isn't your relationship to have a much better basis? The same, of course, applies to men - why not be at home as "beaten" and sophisticated as at a business meeting or when you meet a nice new colleague at work? Why not approach with the same sober judgment and emotional stability in domestic conflicts that you would approach in some professional negotiations for which you have been specially prepared? (Etc., let the ladies add, because I am a man and I do not have their point of view. ) Neglected attitude towards the partner, whether we are talking about appearance or communication, creates preconditions for infidelity, just as neglected attitude towards the body creates preconditions for diseases. In order for this not to happen, we can step on our ready-made habit of behaving in front of outsiders.
Answers 13
Correct. I would not cheat, because I respect the person next to me, and I have no desire. Nor would I take revenge on someone with infidelity if he did, because that is disrespect to myself. People do not understand that they love each other very much until they lose the person next to them. And it's not true that love goes away with time, that's what people who don't really love say. I have been in love for 5 years and I am still in love, and there is a thrill. When two people talk to each other, anything can be resolved. Infidelity is not normal for me, but there are all kinds of people. Most beautiful thing in the world is true and pure love.
I am impressed by your opinion and ways to prevent it! These things, in principle, should be clear to us, but we often live "downstream", or we allow everyday life to "swallow" us, we always try to be 'in front of people' (acquaintances, colleagues, etc.) and neglect our partner. ... unfortunate, but a fact With desire and effort everything is achieved, as long as you hold on to the person. And one more thing "Beauty cannot be forced!" F, 20
He cheats because of bad emotional relationships, not because of hygiene.
If you love the person next to you you will never pass the thought of cheating on him a relationship is based on love, understanding, Trust things that are never trampled
Exactly. These 'principles' need to be broken down, replaced by the outdated way of thinking and looking at things. Many times I have asked my girlfriend what and for whom she prepares so much for an hour before going out. And when he's with me ... he puts on a blouse, jeans, and come on. Not that you mind. I like her anyway, I love her! But looking from the side, the attention he pays to various strangers and colleagues, bosses. It makes me wonder ... why is all this attention to impress people who may not work tomorrow, not know each other, not be friends, etc. But you see, that's what today's girls think. Not that it's not the same with men. But I think that when a man wants the woman next to him, he dresses the way SHE tells him, haha. So that he can be who she wants to be. While, when one man wants to impress another he dresses as he knows how. A complex topic. But to whom, as far as his mind goes, right?
You talk nonsense that you found people to applaud you. Why don't you yell at your boss? Because in 5 minutes you will collect your things. Because in front of him, as well as in front of all strangers and people who are not close to you, you wear a mask. People put it under the pressure of society and it is different depending on who is against you. That your girlfriend has no haircut, no makeup, farting like an elephant, that's her (to a large extent, what it really is only she knows) And that's why she does not pretend in front of you, as she pretends to strangers - because you you and your partner, it is assumed that in front of you can be free, to be yourself. The more you get to know a person, the more freely you behave around him. If you want make-up babies who refrain from expressing their opinion, change them constantly so that they don't get used to you, or find one that is terribly complex.
It happens between people who do not love each other
And I always dress well just because of my boyfriend. When I'm out with friends or at work, I don't care what I look like. I get dressed quickly and go out. And when I was a student, you did it again, just so the boys could see me. Not like the other vanity girls or I don't understand why. I tried to put this in the head of some developers, but they don't understand anything.
Infidelity is like a surgeon's scalpel - in skilled hands it heals, and in inexperienced it is a tragedy. Be surgeons!
I cannot agree that the basis of infidelity is the neglected appearance. For example, my husband in jeans and a T-shirt looks much sexier than in a suit. But I really support the idea of trying to be attractive at home. I have learned my lesson in this regard. My principle is: luxury is not always expensive, luxury is a matter of culture. What do I mean? The dinner table is served every day as I would serve it for guests: ironed white tablecloth, suitable glasses for any drink, nice dishes and utensils, linen napkins, a vase of flowers. Law! It doesn't matter if we eat lentil soup or salmon. I can't imagine shaking the pot on the table or spreading a tarpaulin. My husband loves to see me in a black dress and high heels. That's why I have at least 10 different black models and I often just wear them, to give him pleasure. So it's nice to me, and it's nice to him. He, in turn, always changes for dinner after taking a shower. Office clothes are office clothes, at home there is another dress code - softer fabrics, looser cuts, which does not mean, of course, anzung. We have made such a rule and I say again - we do it because it is pleasant for both of us. It's not expensive, it's not "just for the rich", it's absolutely within everyone's means.
In general, I agree with number 10. In general, infidelity is a matter of feeling. If you don't like a man in a suit, then you don't like him in an expensive suit. Quite a lot of people put sex in the first place, and this is instilled in them by various silly series, reality shows and the like. Naturally, a relationship based on one sex quickly dies and a person begins to look for another object.
I am against infidelity because it is a lie! When a person wants to sleep with another, he MUST part with his current partner in order to give him the opportunity to look for someone who will want to be alone with him / her. It sucks to take advantage of someone's naivety and mislead them about yourself, and only to provide you with home comfort, coziness, family atmosphere at home, etc. Otherwise, about screaming and the attitude to the partner, especially in conflicts I agree with the author. Who comes to him to shout to go live in the woods or start drinking sedatives. Or to go and shout at his father and mother at least - after they created him / her, it follows that they are the only people in the world who have to endure his / her hysteria. Happy Holidays :)
I have read this article many times and I wonder what kind of utopia we are talking about. What black dresses, shoes, etc. are you talking about? If the person next to you doesn't like you and loves you in a tracksuit ... what do we do? Do something for your husband. ..you should only dress extravagantly, for me a nice word is more than expensive skirts.I like women natural, not smeared with makeup.And what is constantly chewing this for infidelity, will never stop if you wonder how it goes there is a cvl section.