Is it normal for the mother of a 27-year-old man to treat him as if he were 7? At the same time, he should not find an appropriate approach to show her that he has reached an age that does not impose her concerns as it did when he was a little boy. Do you think it is right for a mother to demand the constant attention of her son and to take offense if he does not call her several times a day and does not visit her at least once a week? Is it normal for a mother to manipulate and lie to her child to get what she wants? Don't get me wrong, I don't think the mother should be respected, but I think there should be boundaries at some point. Your opinion on the issues will be useful to me, as I suppose that I may have a misconception and will be happy to help me change my thinking and accept my mother's behavior as normal. I do not think it is necessary to go into details, because I will share such situations that will shock and confuse you, and I think that your opinion will be more objective if I save them. I will be very grateful if you comment on my story.
Answers 13
No it's not normal, you have a relationship with mom's son! And the only thing I can tell you is run with 300, you can't change it. This woman will be a victim in front of you, and he will tell you "this is my mother, and she comes first".
Hello, author. It is not normal, but it is common. When deepening the relationship of a couple with a life together or a child, for example, the relationship degenerates further and you get the so-called old mother-in-law. I have been in this situation and I have read a lot on the subject. They treat their sons this way because they want to keep them dependent on themselves and control their lives in every way based on their own complexes or selfishness. They will try to control you too, and if you don't break down, they will either start harassing you until you leave alone, or they will set their son to leave you. If he doesn't, they'll just make sure your days with him aren't happy if he lets it, of course. This is not normal - it happens in toxic families in which relatives are interdependent. Why mothers-in-law are so evil and why they want to be number 1 for their son and not for her husband, don't think about it - they won't change. Boundaries are the most normal thing, and at some point the parent-child relationship must become an adult-adult relationship. Apparently the woman has trouble accepting that her son has grown up, is not dependent on her, has another woman in his life and she is number one for him. This is evidenced by the insistence that attention be paid to her non-stop, every day. This is her problem. Talking on the phone every day means that he shares the smallest details of your life. Every weekend is not ok - we have so little time with our partners - it is not normal for them to dedicate it to their mothers, not to their wives. Talk to him and find out what you will do to impose boundaries. If it's your opinion, prepare for a lot of emotional manipulations on her part - banging, accusations, instilling a sense of duty, can even make other relatives and even friends oppress him. If you are strong enough, you will go through this, the woman will understand that the relationship with her son has changed and she must respect his personal space and the fact that he is a big man now with his own family. If he does not realize, people have said "the good mother-in-law finds a daughter, the bad one loses a son", ie there can be a complete severance of contact. If your husband doesn't realize he has a problem, you better run while it's time. The more serious your relationship, the more harassment you will take. People look at their own children to see how far they can go. Fighting alone is a lost cause. You will only make your mother-in-law happy that she managed to hurt you in some way. Someone had said in the forum that a person is separated from his parents and his own family becomes a priority for him. If it does not separate, the circle closes, which is not correct. Many divorces are due to parents. Think about whether you will be able to get your man out of the toxic relationship and if not, run with 200. Good luck :)
It is normal for a mother to take care of her child, but to let him live his life as he pleases. It is normal for a son to respect his parents and think of them, but not to be too influenced by their opinions and to look for them in every small problem. Sometimes the transition from childhood to adulthood does not occur quite naturally and problems arise for which labels such as 'mother's son' or 'domineering mother-in-law' are attached. The truth is somewhere in the middle, no extreme is good.
now you are a woman, tomorrow you will be a mother and you will wonder how it is possible for your son to have such a daughter-in-law. it is called the wheel of life.
It's not normal, of course. This is a classic "mother's son" or in more psychological language "emotional intertwining between mother and son". The son has difficulty realizing where he ends and where his mother begins, ie, which desires are his, which are his mother's, which emotions are his, which are his mother's. And so on...
Among other things, pay attention to the upbringing of your future child. It is very likely that she is trying to control her upbringing and influence the decisions you make.
Number 4 is most likely a mother-in-law who doesn't like her daughter-in-law. When you come out of your limited consciousness and realize that your children do not owe you, you owe them until they become conscious people. Your small manipulations for attention and material benefits have no end. But you are missing something very important, when your daughter-in-law and tired of your Munyo will watch it. Most men with unhealthy relationships with their mothers develop addictions, alcohol, drugs and more. A woman who has a son and does not intend to burden him with herself.
Horror, I had such a boyfriend, his mother kept calling, we could not plan a vacation or weekend together without consulting her or complying with her plans, complete annoyance, but the most unfortunate thing was that he allowed it, for him it was a normal mother-son relationship. He is now 34 years old, still living with his mother and is unlikely to get married soon (let me add that he has supported her for years, and she is not of retirement age and is not disabled).
I am a girl of 26 and my mother is the same. Or at least it was. Read the book "Poisonous Parents" by Susan Forward (it has been uploaded online), I found answers there and I managed to tame it a lot and stop confusing me. However, it is not easy, I warn. But he has to oppose her ... does he want to oppose her? Success!
Run.
My situation is similar, but it is about an old and annoying mother-in-law who is hanging around my wife's neck.
I broke off such a relationship with my friend. His mother treated me disgustingly, as if I were an intruder, and with him as if she were his mistress. I do not want to describe.
It's not normal. It's the same thing for me ... We fought a lot many times because of his mother, at the beginning of our relationship he manipulated him terribly ... There was always something and the reason was me, of course.