Hello! I need an advice. Not because I don't know the right decision, but maybe because I need support to make it. We met him in the summer of 1999. We worked together and I fell in love. He did not refuse to go out, we had a good time, but nothing more. Coincidentally, we became roommates. He knew from well-wishers that I was in love with him. He became a little more cautious. But one day on my birthday, he said he wanted to have sex with me, but without any commitment. I accepted only because it was a chance to have it, albeit misunderstood. After a year and a half, he fell in love (but not with me) and it was over. I will not go into more detail. I want to share that to this day I love him and I think he is the love of my life. I keep hoping, and we are already in different cities. My dilemma is whether to tell him what I'm feeling ! I want to know if now, after 9 years of acquaintance, after experiencing emotions from anger to love, he is willing to give me a chance, a spark of hope? I know that if I share these things with him and he can't respond to my feelings, he will end our already fragile relationship. But I want to, I need to know. I don't give anyone a chance because of him. On the other hand, I don't want to lose it! What to do??? Help, please! What to do??? Help, please! What to do??? Help, please!
Answers 6
It's time to shake off the illusion. This man has definitely shown that you are not his type and has cut off contact with you. The fact that he fell in love puzzles me against this background - probably, so as not to disappoint you, he showed some feelings, but he quickly became convinced that they are not deep and real. Instead of wasting your time, put this finished story in the PAST! Remember that we all have such stories - some have brought us a lot of pain, others - incredible moments of happiness - but alas, have not developed FOR ONE OR OTHER REASON. Your love does not rest on real full moments, but on some dream that you still maintain. WHY? Do you want to hurt yourself so much? Be realistic and accept the truth - he has no feelings for you. AND THEN CONTINUE FORWARD - WHERE YOU WILL MEET SOMETHING TRUE! I allow myself such a comment, because I was on the other side of the barrier - a man fell in love with me, who knew that I was not alone at the moment and still did everything possible to enchant me. I gave in ... "I fell in love" under the pressure of his feelings, we came to intimacy - and that's where I realized he wasn't my type. Some traits of his character were added that I didn't like and ... I ended the relationship. To this day, he claims to be the love of his life - but I have already kept contact with him to a minimum so as not to give him vain hopes. I just don't love him as much as he loves me. And next to me there is a man who makes me much happier ... I hope I helped you ..... Write !!! under the pressure of his feelings, we came to intimacy - and that's where I realized he wasn't my type. Some traits of his character were added that I didn't like and ... I ended the relationship. To this day, he claims to be the love of his life - but I have already kept contact with him to a minimum so as not to give him vain hopes. I just don't love him as much as he loves me. And next to me there is a man who makes me much happier ... I hope I helped you ..... Write !!! under the pressure of his feelings, we came to intimacy - and that's where I realized he wasn't my type. Some traits of his character were added that I didn't like and ... I ended the relationship. To this day, he claims to be the love of his life - but I have already kept contact with him to a minimum so as not to give him vain hopes. I just don't love him as much as he loves me. And next to me there is a man who makes me much happier ... I hope I helped you ..... Write !!!
I have so much to tell ... but it doesn't matter. More importantly, do I want advice to tell him or not? I don't think I can go on otherwise. And he is alone at the moment. And we're damn close.
Hello! I think you should call him to reveal your feelings. In the end you lose nothing you have to try and if he pushes you away again then try to forget him and replace him with another no matter how unpleasant you are - life goes on with or without him! I hope I helped you .. . GOOD LUCK!
I would advise you to tell him indifferently as a fact the preserved feeling towards him. That way you will not be in a position of begging and begging for attention. And he will get a chance to win you over again. To the other interlocutor: I know the difference in the strength of feelings. You are definitely right. Judgment is also in the general features of the personality.
From number 1: Well then tell him, since this is your dilemma. You will not lose anything - you will just clarify things. But if he doesn't feel the same way you do, you really run the risk of losing touch with him. I don't want to disappoint you, but I think I can guess what his feelings are. Don't you think that if you shared them on an equal footing with yours, you would have already shown it to them? In any case, it is high time to clarify the situation (you say that this love destroys you) and move on. "Too close" puzzles me, but you know what you're putting into it. I understand it that way - good friends. At least for him. Be strong and I wish you TRUE LOVE (this is not like that) !!!!!!!!!
I completely understand you