Hello. I have a huge problem ... I'm shy and too shy. I'm ashamed to talk to others. And now, somehow, I'm all bored. They always talk about some drunken parties and some stupid parties and discos. I am most ashamed of the girls. I am very shy in front of them. Not that I can't talk to girls, but it's hard for me, not to mention an invitation to coffee or an attempt to get closer to a girl. I have the feeling that they will say to themselves "Look at what he's going to do - invite me for coffee" I just can't. When a boy comes ... I feel like I'm 10 years old. I don't see myself as the others. I don't look like a man (and I'm 20 years old) And in front of other boys ... I'm even more ashamed to talk to girls. I just have the feeling that I'm ashamed of everything and I get depressed all the time after I think about it. I didn't shave my body and I'm ashamed to go to the beach (I'm already a student, in Burgas) And I'm a little full. But I will not shave !!! I have tried many times to remove this shame, but I can't! When I went to Burgas, I became estranged from everyone in my group (only girls, ha) and it will be very rare for me to go to their cafe, I talk a little, but very little, I am very shy. And my tastes are not at all like theirs, or in general of everyone in college ... yes, they are not: D But come on this is not such a big problem (but that is a problem, it is a problem) it's just that I'm very shy, too !!!! I don't see the point anymore. I'm not in the mood for anything, he doesn't even smile at me. I live alone, I do what makes me happy and so on, but I know that without contacts it is impossible, but ... obviously I will be like that all my life, because I can't overcome this shame, it ruins me ... he's already ruined me ... I don't see the point in my life, I'm not doing anything, but I have to tighten up, there's no way, no matter how meaningless my life is, I'm going to start a job, so somehow I have to I'm pushing this summer ... And I hate being terrorized with the question "When are you going to be a boyfriend" NEVER I Guess ... That's all. Who wants to write anything, if ACCIDENTALLY someone decides to give me advice, to give. Not that it will help ... I have believed in myself many times, BUT I can't believe in you so much. I CAN NOT!!! I have tried MANY times. And I'm much more valuable than the others, I'm not an oligophrenic, I want to find a girlfriend and start building a future with her, but ... I can't. I breathed a lot when I went there, to Burgas. One Boy-20y. no matter how meaningless my life is, I'm going to start a job, so somehow I have to push it this summer ... And I hate being terrorized with the question "When are you going to be a boyfriend" NEVER I Guess ... That's all . Who wants to write anything, if ACCIDENTALLY someone decides to give me advice, to give. Not that it will help ... I have believed in myself many times, BUT I can't believe in you so much. I CAN NOT!!! I have tried MANY times. And I'm much more valuable than the others, I'm not an oligophrenic, I want to find a girlfriend and start building a future with her, but ... I can't. I breathed a lot when I went there, to Burgas. One Boy-20y. no matter how meaningless my life is, I'm going to start a job, so somehow I have to push it this summer ... And I hate being terrorized with the question "When are you going to be a boyfriend" NEVER I Guess ... That's all . Who wants to write anything, if ACCIDENTALLY someone decides to give me advice, to give. Not that it will help ... I have believed in myself many times, BUT I can't believe in you so much. I CAN NOT!!! I have tried MANY times. And I'm much more valuable than the others, I'm not an oligophrenic, I want to find a girlfriend and start building a future with her, but ... I can't. I breathed a lot when I went there, to Burgas. One Boy-20y. if ACCIDENTALLY someone decides to give me advice, to give. Not that it will help ... I have believed in myself many times, BUT I can't believe in you so much. I CAN NOT!!! I have tried MANY times. And I'm much more valuable than the others, I'm not an oligophrenic, I want to find a girlfriend and start building a future with her, but ... I can't. I breathed a lot when I went there, to Burgas. One Boy-20y. if ACCIDENTALLY someone decides to give me advice, to give. Not that it will help ... I have believed in myself many times, BUT I can't believe in you so much. I CAN NOT!!! I have tried MANY times. And I'm much more valuable than the others, I'm not an oligophrenic, I want to find a girlfriend and start building a future with her, but ... I can't. I breathed a lot when I went there, to Burgas. One Boy-20y.
Answers 13
Man, a few simple rules for me, for some reason helping me with boyfriends. Building and maintaining a athletic figure, starting with running and fitness, for shaving, you do not need to walk like a naked snail, but I guess you remove them on your face, so it's not a problem, a matter of hygiene habits. To my shame, what helped me in puberty is to sit in front of the mirror, you don't have to talk much, just contemplate, but this shame must be eradicated, but you know there are passengers for every train. You probably have a hobby, use it to meet new people, mine is paintball and it's a great thing, try it a few times. But it's all up to you, every man has been ashamed of the girls, you're just an outsider, so you have to catch up, not suffocate anymore, self-pity is a disgusting thing that if you acquired, use for motivation. Every time you regret, or even think about this problem, smile at a stranger. This is a month, I hope it will help, I will follow the topic, but know that everything depends on you, do not perceive yourself as a victim or something like that. St. Legend
Act now in some way, because it will get worse! I was in the same situation, I couldn't say two words out of shame, but I won't tell you at length - you know how it is. I came out of that period as a depressed temerut and now I have to deal with my depressions and other problems arose during all this time spent alone. There is one question I still can't answer - how can others have self-confidence just like that? Where does this arrogance come from, where I don't have it?
There is no greater shamelessness than shame. Can you imagine making people uncomfortable because your embarrassed behavior shows that you have bad thoughts and are not at peace with yourself. When you realize that shame is unworthy behavior that annoys normal people - you will stop. But for this purpose you have to stop parting with part of your ego and become more attentive, observant and empathetic to others, who are also people and have their own problems.
My brother and I are the same, only I am a 17-year-old boy. Absolutely the same! It really sucks ...
Hahaha and I am a student in Burgas, I was very shy and when I went there I was even more blown away :) Burgas is a naughty city, especially because it is crowded with maniacs and muffins, which hint at their presence and are extremely impudent :)
Only you can help yourself. It will not happen suddenly. It will happen gradually and as long as you really have the desire to change, you will succeed.
In my opinion, you should be ashamed only of the fact that you use the word "shy", which does not exist :) This is a joke :) It may sound trite, but why not start exercising a little - both for self-confidence and body you will do it, maybe you will meet someone :) And when they irritate your hair, well, get rid of them, dude! I don't understand how you can bother about such a thing, given that it will take you no more than 10-15 minutes! Tighten it up! As for self-esteem, we can't help you, you have to overcome this problem on your own. And make sure it is more likely that he and his life are over ... Look how lucky you are - you live in Burgas, now it's summer - all day beach, life ... You live alone, you don't suffer ... Young you are, you are healthy ... You will start work ... I can list at least 100 reasons for you to smile here and now, but it is not possible to force beauty, you know ...
Dude, I think you have some complexes. Tighten it up! Work on your confidence and I think everything will be fine. For starters, you can start to be interested in what others are, so that you have some common topics of conversation. Alienation from others will not help you and your tastes may be different, which is normal, but this does not mean that for this reason you can not communicate with them.
This, shy,, irritates me a lot ... Become more open
If you have free time, start a sport. Work on the body, you need to raise your self-esteem.
Author: Thanks for the comments, and up to number 9, I know that others do not like it, but just this shame is extremely big and very difficult for me, but you more open do not understand, you do not know what we are shy and not you are in our place to see and be convinced that things with us are very serious and not easy at all. I will try, I am not interested in boys, I am interested in girls, I want to relax with them and talk calmly. :) One Boy-20y.
I sympathize with you, I am a boy of 19 and I am in a similar situation except for shyness. I have not had 1 girlfriend and I have few friends with whom I meet very rarely. I think otherwise to enroll in some sport, interest club or at least some organization. But it is very difficult for me to find people with similar interests, I agree that most prefer to waste their money on bars and discos for parties. Otherwise success.
There are good girls in the churches. Look there!