Hello! I've been with a boy for a year, we've known each other a long time before. He is unique! He can always make me laugh, he understands me, he supports me, he respects me and he loves me, but .. he often mentions his former (first and strongest) love .. they were with her for 4 years, they lived together, they would to have a child, but she swept anyway, in the end she cheated on him with his neighbor and dumped him .. and .. when we talk to him, I don't know if she does it unconsciously or on purpose, but almost she always compares me to her .. "**** she didn't do that and that ..", "**** she never said that .." and she constantly tells me about her .. I have the feeling that I have experienced their story with them, I know her so well .. and .. I think he still loves her and is looking for her in me now maybe .. he has said many times that she was "his wife"
Answers 12
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It is a huge mistake to allow him to compare you to another, and it was his "great love". In fact, there is no such thing as "great love" - the very fact that this is how things developed between them proves it. If she was the "woman," why did she do that, why isn't she with him now? I have experienced something like this, I have been in your place and I fully understand you, the feeling is terrible. But understand - you are unique and amazing and you do not have to give him what she gave him for the simple reason that you two are completely different people. Don't let yourself be second. Talk to him openly, explain to him that what you are feeling is not jealousy, but pain. If he doesn't understand you, my advice is to run. You can't live in someone else's shadow for long. I realized it late and I will not repeat this mistake. Be the only one!
Hello dear! I would run away from this man as soon as possible! And I would not tolerate such things for a minute. To compare you, to put you in second place ... Nobody likes that!
Uh, horror, I love them so much. I personally suffer from pathological jealousy of exes. My current friend at the beginning mentioned several times about a girl (how smart, beautiful, etc.) she ran on her ass for 9 years (without a serious relationship) and to whom he made spectacular gestures, confessions of love and proposals. for marriage. That even pictures of the in question showed me. We've been together for about 2 years now, he hasn't mentioned her since the beginning of our relationship, but I'm still terribly jealous of her. I still think that she is better than me with something, and if we look objectively, I have no reason for such thoughts. I even found her on Facebook and secretly looked at her photos. I still hope that she will gain weight or get ugly, so that she will cure me of this sick jealousy of mine, but she won't. So, if you find a cure for jealousy, write, I will follow the topic. As for the other - if he compares you to her, he makes him go to her. Don't let him crush your self-esteem, you deserve to know you're the only one.
he hasn't forgotten her when he talks about her, he talks about her ... You send him to her the next time ... or tell him by forgetting her then to come to you .. If he knows how stupid it is to talk about her .. To be better you have to be without him, even if you are together, in a few years you will still be thinking about whether he really wants you or you are just a substitute ..
We all have 1 such love, which is the first so strong. You let her drink you at last. when it's over, you're completely drained. A lot of time passes - you look ahead, you have a new relationship, you do not want to return to the person, but he is still him and still keeps part of your heart with him ... You are in the present, prove it to him. The next time you compare her to her and you make a comparison, something like :, Yes, she never said that, but I would never cheat on you (: I love you a little more than that and appreciate yourself a little more than that. ". And don't say anything more on the topic, don't let him talk - answer briefly and clearly so that he stops interfering between you. Be the only one, be in the first place.
I did the same to my friend. A big mistake on my part, I constantly compared him to my exes in order for him to surpass them in everything. Believe me, I have no feelings for them, maybe your friend doesn't either! Just tell him it hurts to talk about the lady in question and he will comply!
I was in a similar situation and left. I don't know if I was wrong or not, but I know from friends that now he doesn't stop talking about me and that his new girlfriend was jealous of ... me. Apparently some men are like that - or out of stupidity, very open, they don't remember hurting us with these comparisons. Or they really think about the past all the time. But this is more of a feminine quality. In the end, it didn't matter to me if she really had feelings for her ex or not. It was just humiliating to keep hearing about her. But you talk to him first. tell him that you are you and she is her, ask him without judging why he thinks of her so often. it may turn out that he simply did not forgive the insult of infidelity ... Good luck! Bottom line everything will still be okay :)
He doesn't love you, how can you allow him to compare you to another? I mine, when I ask him about ex-girlfriends he says "I don't remember now I'm with you"
I agree with number 2 COMPLETELY!
Watch the movie "My sassy girl" you will find yourself there .. Sad but the first ones stay forever first, the worst thing is that they have created an illusory profile of the perfect woman / man and whatever she / he will do before in you .
It is not right to compare you. So either she doesn't like something in you and wants to make you fix it or he has NOT forgotten her. Or he purposefully wants to make you feel more humiliated, jealous, etc. Tell him not to compare you to her, because when he tells you "she did it and you do another cell" she reminds him that she too so she cheated on him. Does she want you to support her? Eventually it will push you there! A serious conversation will do the trick. Or you should. Tell him not to talk about her, because if she was a closed page, he wouldn't mention her. It's not respectful of you. If he wants to be with you, he has to stop. If he continued, I personally would be a jerk to him soon, if he continued and did not realize his stupid mistake.