Hi, I am a girl of 21, I am writing here to ask you something that bothers me a lot. I met a man, something great started happening between us, I think we're falling in love, but that's not the reason he sold, I'm worried. The thing is that he is 10 years older than me and that is the reason why I somehow withdraw, I do it subconsciously, I tell myself that he is too big for me and the fact that we are having a good time now does not mean that and then it will be so. I'm afraid she's already at an age where she's supposed to ask for a family, children, and I don't know if I'd be suitable for something like that. Besides, as banal and silly as it sounds, I'm afraid I'll fall in love and end up abandoned and disappointed. I don't know if it's because of the age limit between us, but I'm very worried about what he'll think of me, what will it take me for, etc. I think I have outgrown my years and maybe that's why I can't do it with my peers! How do you think 10 years is too big an obstacle and maybe my question is focused mainly on the male part, how would you feel about the relationship with 10 years younger than you, when you obviously have more experience, work, independence ... while the other side, so to speak, is still on this path?
Answers 23
He who is afraid of bears does not go to the forest !? You are both looking for a man and you are afraid of being abandoned later. No one can guarantee that. What if you find someone better than this one, won't you leave the older one, won't he be fucked? Isn't it more important that you understand each other well now, and what will happen in time is God's work. Live for the moment, life is short and while you think, just look and your years are over. You are at an ideal age for a family and a mother, and if the donor is of good quality, don't be surprised but act!
I am 19 years old. If I have a relationship with someone 10 years younger than me, I will be a pedophile ... But if I am older, and the girl is at least 18 years old, I would not have a problem.
I didn't understand what your problem was - are you afraid of being abandoned in love or that it's time for you to be a man, not a commitment? Or maybe both? Yes, he may just want fun. It is quite possible and common. But keep in mind that the opposite is possible - he wants a family and "invests" in you, and you disappoint him. 10 years is a big difference - yes, but there are many successful families with such and larger. If they were 20 years old, I would be skeptical, but if everything else is fine, those 10 years are not the reason for the "veto". Think, feel, decide! And a good life - it's in front of you! F31
Problems almost never occur in men's minds, but in women's minds. They are the ones who are influenced by other people's opinions and hate those of their own sex. Tell us what your goals in life are and what your family is like, and we will answer your question: what is likely to follow for you. It is normal for a 31-year-old man to want to have a wife and a generation in exchange for his voluntary "enslavement". After marriage, the woman receives everything, home, family, a man on hand for hormonal fullness, security and envy of other girls, due to her status as married, and the man only family obligations, shortening life and if the woman can cook-delicacies. In general, this is a deal for the continuation of life.
He has to deal with his peers, not 10 years younger, because you still live, and he already wants to get married. It may work, but he has to be very patient and not spur you on.
If you feel that this difference is an obstacle, then it is most likely. Trust your female intuition, she never lies and do not deal with this one. It seems that you are not close to your family yet.
Hi, I don't think it's worth dealing with, because the difference is quite big. In my opinion, you need someone who is 3-4 years older, not 10. And it is not known in the end that he does not turn out to be married, has children, etc.
Yes, I have a problem, man. 5, at 30 you no longer "live", right? At 30, we're getting ready to die. And yes - "living" meant getting drunk, shaking and fucking different.
Much depends on the people themselves. My husband and I have a difference of 8 years. I'm 20, he's 28. When we met I was 17 and we've been together ever since. It is not necessary to ask to have children in the first month. My wants to wait, this is already an understanding between you. Of course, I also want to live my years, now I'm studying. We have family friends with a 17-year difference: e, but they have a child and live together, they love each other.
According to my observations, when a girl describes herself as "outgrown", it usually turns out that she simply does not fit in with her peers. (one hint to insert only - you don't have to smoke and drink to be able to fit in) Now this man seems attractive to you, but after max 5-6 years he will resist you. You will grow up, so will your peers, and he will be approaching 40. But if you are already so shocked to become a mother and you really think of yourself as "more mature" than your peers - well, take advantage and give birth to one of these . No matter that I and many other people think that at this age you are too young to be a parent - to be a quality parent requires wisdom, which is acquired through life experience. But number 1 thinks differently and even encourages you. After all, you have your head on your shoulders - make your own decisions, because only you will live your life, no matter what opinions we have, some people. Still, think about whether this man is really mature enough for his age. Usually people like him have had unsuccessful relationships with girls their age for years, who have rejected them because over time they have understood how complex and crazy they are. Well this may be an exception, of course. Good luck. because over time they understood how complex and crazy they were. Well this may be an exception, of course. Good luck. because over time they understood how complex and crazy they were. Well this may be an exception, of course. Good luck.
About 8 out of 5 A man of 30 is already more mature, he already has experience in work, love, he will know what he wants. He will go to restaurants and other things again, but maybe a little more moderately. He may prefer home comfort more. It all depends on the person. And the girl is 21 and is still facing some things. She won't be as playful as he is. There may be a difference in worldviews, desires, etc. 10 years is not a small difference.
The answer is very simple - not much 10 years difference, but you're just small in age
My friend and I are 12 years apart and this has never been a problem. I was 19 and he was 31 when we met and we have been together for 3 years. I've been with peers and 2-3-5 years older, but that doesn't mean we've been for each other or will grow old together. He was married before me and when his child was born, his ex was a whip, which of course did not stop me from staying with him as long as the man deserves it and we are like kindred spirits. Now he and I are thinking about a child and working on it. I wish everyone such love and a person next to me. In general, for each other, are these 10 g a drop in the ocean? Success!
Hello. I'm your age and I think you really have reason to think that he will want children and a family now. At 31, he is already alive and ready for such a step, perhaps. There are exceptions, of course. However, I have a friend who is with a man 10 years older than her, she caught up with him when she was 18. They have been together for several years, she is studying at university and considers when she finishes to have a child. He is waiting for her and has never used her, I can even say that he is like a puppy on her. However, she is with him because she wants something really serious - they are almost always together, thinking about a common future, she does not go out without him, nor he without her. He is part of the family already. However, the difference in age will at some point begin to become very apparent - when you are in the prime of your strength, his will weaken more and more and it can really happen, that you want to live, and he has no energy and wants you to sit only at home or not to pay attention to you. He will grow old a little earlier than you and imagine getting sick and having to be a real caregiver. And now, if he really wants children and a family, you yourself do not feel that you are ready, there was even such a topic here - "I'm 19, he's 32". I think it's best to see FOR YOURSELF where your relationship will go and judge then. But don't do things you're not ready for!
8 Yes!
The best relationship in my life was with the last one, which was 17 years younger. I was ready to marry her (I was never married). But she, like you, was insecure. The opinion of her equally insecure friends prevailed the most. All but one were vile whores. While we were together, everything was great. We lived together in one house for 2 years. We traveled around the world, we were constantly on an adventure. As he says but. 3 (rarely a smart woman) I invested a lot in her. In the end, I returned to BG and while she was preparing the documents for her to come (she was from another country), three months passed without us seeing each other. She gave a lot in favor of her lazy, slutty sister and her friends (where they gave whistles to strangers in the kenefs of the clubs). I don't know how, but he kept getting to know the biggest bastards and losers. Now 1. I can't take it in my hands for 5 years. She has changed several since then and each one simplifies more and more. She has become a super complex squirrel, an infinitely simple "wannabe", for which it is fashionable to write with abbreviations and want to be at the top of fashion and money. None of this was happening between us. He leads a life that other people think is right, but for which he has no heart. I know where she studies and she is currently a few hundred kilometers away from me. I could go and see her, but I know what a monster I will see. I'm sure her legs will shake and she'll start stuttering, but I don't want to be together again, she just doesn't deserve my trust anymore. So author ... NEVER listen to the women around you. Listen to your father, listen to your male friends. They can see things more objectively. The Encouragement (I deliberately emphasize the quotes) the women around you are misleading and you will ruin everything wonderful at the moment. In such times we live that at the moment morality is the least interesting to perceive. And without it there can be no CONNECTION. Please! Promise yourself that no matter what happens, you will hold this person. If he has been with you for more than a month, then his intentions are serious and he will not let you down.
I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 29. Together we are almost from him and I can't describe how happy I feel. He is a wonderful man, firmly on the ground, he knows where he is and he knows what he wants. Even for a moment I was not bothered by the difference because he is all I want. It has nothing to do with boys my age who are super frivolous. And the fact that he will soon think about his family rights, we are also considering.
Number 8 That's right! I am a man of 39. And if I go with a woman aged 18-19 or 30, I'll see what's under the hat. I have been with a woman 15 years older than me and younger. The difference is huge. The younger one was wondering how to pluck someone for money to buy a branded tank top. While the older one was trying to guess my wishes. Author! If you want to be 20 years younger than your friend, clear your head. If you want to jump in the chalgoteks and pour yourself alcohol to faint; you don't need a man. Do not think that when the mind comes to your head and you will get pregnant. Family is the only thing left for us in this cursed life. Don't look for a solution on the net, but think about whether you deserve each other. Get rid of the cliché "to live - and then children and family". A woman at first pregnancy carries a higher risk of advanced age for one child. After the age of 33, the rate for Down syndrome rises. Do you want to give birth at 35, a child with malformations? !! Clear your head. Your boyfriend is not that big for years. The important thing is to find the person who will love and appreciate you. You are 21! You have a head on your shoulders.
10 years is not much, don't worry. Better a stable man than a kid.
If the person is good, there is no problem, although your difference is really big. At some point, this can lead to misunderstandings. And yet, it's all up to the person. He may be 30, but with a soul like yours, so be brave if you see qualities in him, not just love.
Number 18 wrote it right for you !!!
'he was trying to guess my desires,' just like my mother. Author, if you want a family, it would be best to create it with a person your age, because it is more profitable for children for their father to be alive and positive for as long as possible. These 30-plus-year-olds are mostly depressed with a sick ego, or in other words 'beaten by life', which is why they see it as 'rotten', and this has a very serious effect on the child's psyche. Now some poop will call that she has a rich uncle and is very happy, well, it may actually be so, but how rich are the uncles. Men also live shorter lives than women. Thoughts.
Do not deal with such pensions! You are a young girl, why bother like that, it is very clear that she will want a child soon, and you will waste your youth! Do not.