Hello, many of you have probably asked yourself this question. We have a three-year-old boy. Until six months, he and I slept together on a big bed - I was breastfeeding. From six to nine months I slept next to him in the same room on another bed, he in the cot. And at almost ten months, I left him alone in a room with the doors wide open. Of course there were restless evenings, teething and unpleasant waking stories. I was always there for him when he needed me. Around the second year, the drama ended and he slept completely alone until recently. He went to the garden, he is cheerful and happy, one hundred percent there is no harassment there, but he is obviously afraid of leaving him. He constantly wants to hug me in the evening and sleep together. My husband doesn't want the three of us to sleep, he wants either me to be with my son in the nursery or he to be with him, but not the three of us in the bedroom; or to sleep together as a couple and our son separately. I don't know what is right, the son is obviously in a period of need for a hug, a period that I realize he will never return. At the same time, I don't want my husband to be alone. I also hear criticism from the grandmothers that I left him alone early and wanted to catch up. That I had to hug him now. Not that I don't want to suffocate is the best thing in the world. But please give ideas what is right for a three-year-old's sleep ...
Answers 19
Why doesn't your husband want the three of you to sleep?
Read a little psychological literature on the net about how harmful it is to sleep with a child. You are not doing him or your marriage a favor. And you will feel the consequences in time, but it will be too late.
It is right to be with your husband. How much longer will you beat the little one, you have already created habits for him, do not change them.
I think he should sleep alone. Maybe in your room in your bed.
Your poor husband ...
Hello. My daughter is 4 years old and she still, from time to time, wants us to cuddle and sleep with me. Of course, I don't refuse, but once she falls asleep deeply, I just move her to the crib. So no damage :)
Of course you have to sleep with your husband. Grandmothers I will simply forget to comment on them. Sit down and read a little about Freud and the Oedipus complex and you will understand why the place in your bed should be for your husband and not for your son. At the moment, he wants to replace his father, and if you let him, you will harm his further development. If you push him away, he will understand that his father is the man in the house and he must imitate him. This is how men are formed. Really read Freud and you will find the answer to the question.
Leave them to the grandmothers and their opinion. You can hug the child during the day, play, etc. It is normal to sleep with your husband.
Can't you stay with the child until he falls asleep and then go to bed?
You stay grandmothers and think about your husband. The child is a child, cuddling, games, fairy tale and every kilometer there is a room and a bed. My acquaintances at the age of 10 have a child sleeping with them. She gets up by night and goes to the other room. Madness. They rarely have sex.
She must sleep with her husband, the little one is in a period of self-identification and wants to displace his father in importance (the so-called Oedipus complex or maternal complex). Unfortunately, this happened when growing up with most men in the Western world, and there are two options: either they become mother's sons, or they become aggressive "bad boys." In both cases, they have unrealistic ideas about women, have difficulty with stable relationships, emotions, and so on. Hug him, but not too much. It is VERY important to be close to your husband and demonstrate it to the child. Like him hugging him and playing with him. The goal is for the child to know that he is loved by both of them, but to realize that you are intimately occupied by your husband.
If you teach your child this way from now on, he may want to sleep with you until he is 18 years old. Move to your husband's room before it's too late.
It's right to be with your husband ...
The best thing for a 3-year-old (and older) child to sleep is to sleep on their own bed in their parents' bedroom. How come your husband slept sweetly separately for so long, how will he make you choose now? !! While your son is small, especially then, give him all your love, cuddling, etc. !!! Don't traumatize him for anything in the world! Those with Freudian stories you may not read at all!
Your place is with your husband. Now is the time to build habits for your son, and if you don't, there will be great drama. I'm not saying don't hug him, on the contrary, but he does it when he's awake and while you put him to sleep in his bed. Then you quietly return to your husband's bedroom. This is the best for everyone. Otherwise, your son will get used to sleeping only with you and if by chance you are not there sometimes it will be scary. Not to mention that if you teach him like that now, then at 6-7 or even more years you will wonder what to do, because he will refuse to sleep alone. Even here there was a story some time ago from a girl who shared that she was 15 ... and she was afraid to sleep alone in a room! Do you think this is normal? That's why she taught her child from now on that yes, mom loves him very much and will always be with him if he needs to, but he just has to sleep alone. And last but not least, this will be good for your marriage. Because if you drive her like that and sleep with your son, at some point your husband will not only grumble, but will also seriously become estranged from you. Remember that in addition to your mother and wife, your husband also needs time for just the two of you.
Hi, I'm not a mother, so you may not take my comment into account, but I'll give you two examples that make me think it's best for a child to sleep in a separate bed, even in a separate room. 1. A colleague of my mother has a 7-year-old girl, to this day she sleeps between them! And when the colleague tells us, she admits to herself that she has slept with them since she was a newborn and that's how she leaves. He said that even at night, if he wakes up he cries and screams until he lies down between them! 2. My aunt did the same with her daughter and she was so used to them and became 5, her brother was born - horror and madness! And she wants to sleep with them and the little one is there ... my aunt had to buy the biggest bedroom so that everyone could sleep on it .. And how much sleep aunt and her husband take! It is no coincidence that in many countries a child sleeps separately in another room from birth. Personally, if I have a room, I will furnish it with a chair with a sofa / for the evenings when the child is restless /, but when the child becomes 6 months old I will leave him alone. We can cuddle and play during the day, but I wouldn't want my child to be so dependent on me and want only me! I think that because in Bulgaria we are used to sleeping together until the first grade, we cannot make a decision on our own and we still expect our parents to save us. I slept with my mother until 12-13, because it happened to us for a number of financial reasons and it was difficult for me to separate later. In a sense, I kept calling her, I was sad, etc. Not that it's bad, but you have to be strong to cope with life. but I would not want my child to be so dependent on me and want only with me! I think that because in Bulgaria we are used to sleeping together until the first grade, we cannot make a decision on our own and we still expect our parents to save us. I slept with my mother until 12-13, because it happened to us for a number of financial reasons and it was difficult for me to separate later. In a sense, I kept calling her, I was sad, etc. Not that it's bad, but you have to be strong to cope with life. but I would not want my child to be so dependent on me and want only with me! I think that because in Bulgaria we are used to sleeping together until the first grade, we cannot make a decision on our own and we still expect our parents to save us. I slept with my mother until 12-13, because it happened to us for a number of financial reasons and it was difficult for me to separate later. In a sense, I kept calling her, I was sad, etc. Not that it's bad, but you have to be strong to cope with life.
Hello! My advice is to sleep with your husband and he wants you to hug him ... Leave the child in a separate room he may grumble at first but he will get used to it ... And you sleep with your husband because he can get bored and look for another one caresses ...
we overcame this period in my family in the following way - it is explained to the child that everyone should sleep in their own place, bed and room, and an exception is made only when he grows up and gets married. First - it is explained to him every night, no matter how annoying you are, in a kind and loving tone, without nerves, telling him that this way he sleeps peacefully and deeply and will feel healthy and strong. Second - read a fairy tale or tell a short story every night before bed, with mother and father alternating! If possible, the light is dim or missing if you are telling stories. The story should not be scary, but rather instructive and relaxing. Like the Franklin movies. The important thing is to overcome the fear of the dark and to have a ritual that the child observes and in which the mother and father participate, alternating! If you have to play hide and seek or adventure in the dark to get used to the lack of light. The ritual calms the child's psyche and creates a sense of security. Third - the child should know that after him and you go to sleep in your bed, in your place, so that you feel healthy and refreshed. Third - in no case do not give in to children's pleas and big eyes, you just have to be gentle with him and explain to him every time that you love him very much and want to sleep widely, to be comfortable and that in the realm of dreams Adventures await him and he hurries to sleep. It is. Third - in no case do not give in to children's pleas and big eyes, you just have to be gentle with him and explain to him every time that you love him very much and want to sleep widely, to be comfortable and that in the realm of dreams Adventures await him and he hurries to sleep. It is. Third - in no case do not give in to children's pleas and big eyes, you just have to be gentle with him and explain to him every time that you love him very much and want to sleep widely, to be comfortable and that in the realm of dreams Adventures await him and he hurries to sleep. It is.
At the neighbor's! What a stupid question - your place is with your husband. Otherwise another will take it. Without sex, marriages fall apart, remember.