Hello! How are you? I hope you are well. However, I haven't felt well for a while. My friend and I broke up and I will tell you the story from the very beginning to get a full picture of the situation. I hope you can help me. We met one night, more than 2 years ago, at a gathering with mutual acquaintances. We have known each other for 1 year when we started writing to each other. It was obvious that he was as interested in me as I was in him. He wanted us to start a more serious relationship, but then I pulled away. I had broken up with my ex-boyfriend and I wasn't ready yet. We did not maintain any contact for several months. During this time he had a girlfriend, whom I found out later, I was also dealing with another boy. But nothing serious. I didn't keep in touch with the boys for a while to get some rest. A few more months passed and one night, I really don't know how, I just decided to look for him, to see how he is, to start keeping in touch again. It was as if he was missing me. He is very happy. That's when our relationship began. Everything was perfect. When we were together, we shook off all the problems and somehow we didn't bother with anything. The problem, however, is that he is in the military and we have to keep in touch from a distance. This is very stressful for him, because he is the most sensitive of the two of us and at times he gets depressed and tells me that he wants us to separate. I tried to help him and not to cause him unnecessary problems. I was just next to him in every way, and he was next to me. He kept telling me that he had never seen another girl like me, that no one else had treated him so well, and that I was the best thing, which has ever happened to him. One day he just stopped looking for me and started acting like I didn't belong to him. We had not quarreled, nor had there been any change in our relationship.
Then I realized that there was something, but I'm still not quite sure what exactly and I hope with your help to come to the answer. He kept telling me for a while that he was busy and had no time. He didn't answer my messages. At one point, he called me and told me that he was sorry that he wanted us to break up because things weren't working out for him and that he couldn't be in a relationship right now. I asked him if he had cheated on me or if I had done something. The answer to both questions was no. He continued to ignore me as I searched for him until I asked him if we were finally ending the relationship. Then just confirm everything to me, what I wrote I read as soon as I sent and I did not receive any answer. I know I shouldn't press him and I shouldn't bother him, but I'm not feeling well. I can't sleep, I can't eat normally. I never wanted to break up. I don't think he felt appreciated enough by me and that eats me up on the inside because I care a hell of a lot about him. I don't know what to do. Please help me.
Answers 10
Quite simple! He met another who is "the best thing in his life"! He put you in the column: "read newspaper", and her - in "top secret". What to do? Get used to it!
Is he in the military? !! Run away !!! The fame of the military is not recent, they are great women, precisely because they are still somewhere far from their families. They diversify, with people like you. No wonder if he is married or with a child, and the "best" case is seriously tied.
From the author: I know his closest people, as well as mine. People we've known since we were kids. We became something like a larger joint company. He is definitely not married with a child, but I don't think he has found another. I found out that he hasn't talked to almost any of his friends lately, he's busy and has some problems with the military institution he works for. I just don't know what to do.
There is nothing you can do for now. If he told you he didn't want a relationship, then he didn't. Beauty cannot be forced.
If he has problems at work, it is probably easier for him to cope in this way so that he is not burdened by the fact that you are not close to each other. Ask him what the problem is and how long it will take, consider if you can / want to wait for him and tell him that. If he still wants you to be together, he will be happy for your understanding and support.
I think you have to accept separation, because otherwise you will continue to harass yourself with these issues. She doesn't have to have another to not want to be with you. Sometimes there is simply no chemistry to a certain person and his closeness begins to weigh, to feel like an unwanted and forced presence. He may feel that way about you. There is nothing personal in this regard. He probably understands that you are beautiful, appreciates all your virtues, maybe he is considered a fool to repel a person like you, but he has no choice - that's how he feels, and this is not controlled or subject to logical explanation. That is why you are not looking for a logical reason, but respect his choice. You need two for love. Keep going to your real partner and leave this boy.
Many thanks to everyone for the answers. We made contact with him and it turned out that he had serious problems in which he did not want to interfere and to protect me, but to protect himself, it is better not to be together.
Author: At the beginning you say that you rejected him because you soon broke up with your friend and at the same time you were dealing with another boy. How to understand it, I quote: "I had broken up with my former boyfriend and I was not ready yet. We did not maintain any contact for several months. During that time he had a girlfriend, whom I found out later, I also did something else. boy. But nothing serious. "Supposedly you weren't ready for a serious relationship, but for sex with someone you don't feel anything for - NO PROBLEMS. Come on, it doesn't matter. Let me ask you, how are things in sex. And don't see if you're happy with it, vice versa. Do you think he is happy too. I say this not because of anything else, but because many of the problems start there. It's one thing that you're at a distance, but even if sex is zero, what's left to connect you then. There may have been a thrill at first, but for example, your "refusals" about this or that have repelled him. For example, he asked for fellatio, but you withdrew and this happens regularly. I'm just wondering!
№8, the author wrote a comment that they had established contact with the boy and he told her that he had some serious problems at work. And for what you asked her, about having sex with another boy. She did not tell us what their relationship was like. There may not have been sex there at all.
Author: We talked, clarified some things and decided that it was better to separate. This is not the right time for him to be in a relationship. We will maintain some kind of relationship and maybe in time we will try again.