Hello! I am a boy of 20 years. Last summer, I started dating a 15-year-old girl. We went out for a long time, maybe about 2 months. And all this time I did nothing or kisses or anything more (due to health problems). Somehow we stopped talking, or rather we just wrote to each other for the holidays. It took 2-3 months until the beginning of March, when we met one night, another 2 weeks passed, and we started kissing, etc. I had just started to become attached to her, and at one point she started behaving. withdrawn. I asked her if there was anything she said we should talk to. (for those 2 weeks only kisses, because I still have a health problem) We went out one night, I quickly asked her if she wanted to be with me, and she told me that she didn't want anything from anyone. Of course I felt very bad. But I understood that their ex-boyfriend called them, and that's why it happened. All this time I was very nice to her, etc. Now: 1. I think their boyfriend only uses her for sex because they haven't seen each other for a few months and he's obviously bored and having sex and that's why she looking for. She doesn't even want to see me right now. Now I think she used me to forget her ex, but that's not so important. 1. I know she's 15 years old, and I'd better not get involved, but I'm still in a period where I like her. 2. Exactly, 2 years ago the same thing happened to me, with another girl she pulled my jerk so she didn't want to see me, and she was very emphatic, and after 2-3 months she called me, started writing to me, I felt where things were going, even one evening, during a disco, he came to my car and started roaring in front of me. but I was adamant. This makes me think that this one will look for me, too (but I don't stick to this thesis in general). I want to ask you, why does this always happen? Why, when I treat women well, do they always pull my jerk, and then try to come back?
Answers 9
Exactly that he is 15 and does not know what he wants is the problem. Today is you, tomorrow is another. They are on highs and lows, today I can tell you that you are everything to her, and tomorrow that things are not going well between you. And what can she give you? What has she seen in life to tell and show you? You will ask her important things from life and she will say "Nz", "I don't know", you will tell her about important life events, and she will say "mhm". And you will enjoy the gossip on the phone and such "childish" things.
You don't attract her physically, but she wants attention.
Did it ever occur to you that they wanted you to fuck them instead of holding hands? Two weeks of going out, hugs, kisses without the slightest hint of sex or at least a desire on your part ... well, should they stand on the front stand ?! Or do they have to rape you ?! Deal with health problems first and then go out with girls. It affects a woman's self-esteem very badly when she sees that you don't want her.
I have the same question as the author. Why does this happen? !? !! After all, no matter how much they don't want to admit it, women subconsciously love "bad" boys / men. Apparently they have the thrill and insecurity that drives them crazy. I can't explain such behavior in any other way. When you're good, they make you a monkey - they complain about ex-boyfriends and they roar on your shoulder. After a while they beat your jester. If you cut them, behave badly, arrange them - it's as if they act like a magnet and like little "puppies" run after you ... M. 32.
The answer to your question lies in the topic itself. It doesn't work that way with women, it works that way with girls. When dealing with 15-year-olds, you should be extremely aware that there will be similar cracks, and worse. This one at least told you directly that she doesn't want you to keep in touch and didn't bother to decide what she wanted. Two months is not going out for a long time. You've met, nothing more. Then you kissed for two weeks and nothing more serious. You did not go, you did not have the opportunity to stay with a really broken heart and deceived by vain promises. The little evil has happened to you.
You shouldn't have chased the other girl. For girls, it's a little more complicated with emotions. That's why they chase first, and then they come. They themselves are not sure if they like it. As for the 15-year-old, she is very small and her thoughts are even more complicated. At the moment, her ex is the love of her life, and you are a person who simply raises her self-esteem by liking her. In a year or two, he may think of you. Tip - be tolerant and do not close your doors, if they apologize, accept yourself and see what happens ... no one has slept with you and you can communicate with others!
I wish you all the best!
Look, you men need to realize that nothing is what it seems. We women think a lot about all kinds of risks, but at the same time we do not remain indifferent to our own mental states. I'll tell you about an example so you can understand me. I was extremely in love last summer, the man wanted nothing more from me than a non-committal relationship, which I refused because it did not coincide with my moral code and beliefs. After about 1-2 months I met a man who really managed to impress me. We saw each other, we communicated almost without interruption, even I began to feel a certain amount of attraction to him. Just to get things done, the boy told me in plain text that he liked me and ... guess what! My previous love interest from a few months ago suddenly appeared and he expressed in messages how disappointed he was with my behavior, how shameless I was to immediately rush into a meeting with another, he started threatening me. That I was only for "him", that he would find the person with an interest in me. Accordingly ... I was worried, breaded, completely startled. In all my panic (since nothing like this had ever happened to me), I blocked them both. From fear and at the same time from a feeling of perverted guilt (which was literally imposed on me without right). I stopped contact and closed, knowing that the second boy was really worth it, as he was behaving well and respectfully towards me. About 9-10 months have passed since then. I didn't stop to think about the boy I really threw out of my life for no reason. I decided to write to him recently to apologize. Unfortunately, however, I could not tell him about everything that happened because it was not appropriate. His demeanor reminded me of yours, devoid of a second chance, bordering on deep insult. This is perfectly normal. I just wanted you to keep in mind that there are such frightening cases in which it seems that a person has no choice but to leave two types of relationships, for example. That doesn't stop him from thinking about you, feeling sorry for him, and trying to go back, correcting the mistake. People, learn to forgive without judging. No one is perfect, for sure you were "confused" in someone's similar story! - 20, Ž I just wanted you to keep in mind that there are such frightening cases in which it seems that a person has no choice but to leave two types of relationships, for example. That doesn't stop him from thinking about you, feeling sorry for him, and trying to go back, correcting the mistake. People, learn to forgive without judging. No one is perfect, for sure you were "confused" in someone's similar story! - 20, Ž I just wanted you to keep in mind that there are such frightening cases in which it seems that a person has no choice but to leave two types of relationships, for example. That doesn't stop him from thinking about you, feeling sorry for him, and trying to go back, correcting the mistake. People, learn to forgive without judging. No one is perfect, for sure you were "confused" in someone's similar story! - 20, Ž
From the author: Thank you for the comments, everyone. To n10 you could not explain to the boy who holds on to you for your former friend, I can not forgive (or rather I can not look at the man in the same way as before). P. S 2 days ago I received information that she saw her boyfriend with someone else with whom they went to the apartment. So I was pretty sure that's how things would sound. Anyway, unfortunately one person disappointed me, somehow I stay, only in friendly relations with this person! All the best!