Hello! I read the stories on the site with interest and decided to add my own. I'm 28 years old. For years I have been in a closed circle from which I cannot get out. I like men who ignore me or just want sex, and I fall in love with people I don't like. I went to psychologists, fortune tellers, I tried to behave well, badly, I tried everything. There is no result. I am interested to hear your opinion on the possible reasons. I divide men into two types - cool and desperate. I see the world in black and white. I can't fall in love with a person who is constantly looking for me and giving everything for me, mostly because this type of behavior often seems to me like a desperate person. I will give just one example, although there are dozens of them in my life. Once I fell in love with a good boy who gave everything for me and carried me in his arms, and he turned out to be almost impotent. There is always something serious stopping me from being with seemingly valuable people. I look forward to your advice.
Answers 4
Change your views. You can't divide people into such and such, let alone men. Each person is an individual. It is possible that you came across a person who gave and did everything for you and was really desperate. But don't rule out the possibility that sometimes people do everything for you because they want to do it, not because you would like it. Strive to accept the person as he is and to be with him not because of what material benefits he can offer you, but because of how he would protect you if necessary, how he would treat you, how he would behave in difficult situations. moments in your life. Don't look at men as a source of sex, money, gifts and ostentation and how cool they were. They are people and just like you they have feelings, emotions, perceptions. It doesn't stop a man from being cool but desperate. Some men feel when a woman seeks the material and divides them into cool and desperate and this repulses them if they want something serious. "Cool", as you call them, may not be just for sex, but when they see that you are inclined to do so, they cannot offer you anything different. And the "desperate" just don't see your true nature.
I agree with No. 1. You gave us very little information, but I have seen similar behavior from other friends of mine. First, you have some unrealistic expectations of men in the sense that you don't find meaning in your life and you want a man who is this and that to make your life the way you are - to give you everything in life and in bed. The problem is that men are people too. They also have their expectations, desires and yes - they also want the woman next to them to make them happy. When two people have any relationship, such a conflict arises. The problem of women waiting for a man to do things for them is that they repel strong men who have demands on themselves - exactly the men the Author is talking about - men who have found themselves do not hide under their skirts. you and they don't call you every hour. Such men also have success in life, work, social life in general, but such men have a choice and are attractive to many women. They have requirements in themselves and when they feel that a woman is waiting for them, they do not engage at all ... except for sex and for a short time. However, only women are allowed in their lives, who in themselves can give a lot to a man and do not have high expectations for him. The boys they carry in their hands AT THE BEGINNING are exactly the boys who do not have much success with women or have another problem (for example, your impotent one) and think that by pretending they will finally win a woman. They manage to win exactly the girls like you, because you think that you have come across a man to "carry you" in his arms, but after a month or so such a Prince turns into a frog and shows his problems and you are left alone or do it at some point. compromise with yourself and drag yourself with such a man for years, wasting your time. Always, Author, the problem is in you, not in the others, because there are hundreds of thousands of men outside, and if the problem was not in you, you would have met the right one by now. However, many girls have the wrong approach and expectations of men because of their upbringing and talking to Princes. The more a man takes care of you, carries you in his arms in the beginning, the more likely he is to be a kind of "frog". The more independent a man is, with self-confidence and not basma at the beginning - the more likely he is to be a normal man, with whom you can build your life on an equal footing, but yes - there are no princes. You will not find a man who will fix your life without any negativity for you, make you happy, satisfy you in bed and you just stay and profit. Such sweets are only available to parents, and only if you come across parents.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oi3QwACzeS4 This video helped me a lot to clarify things. It's been a long time, but I'm sure it will be useful to you. :)
At 28 and yet, you don't realize that all people, including men, are individuals, not two types - cool and desperate. At a primitive level, somewhere in the reptilian part of your brain (limbic nervous system), things may seem to you like alpha males that attract you, and beta males that are indifferent to you, or worse (omega males) - they repel. But we are not primitive, and we have lived in civilization for tens of thousands of years. You gave a "chance" to a beta male who didn't fuck you well, and now you've drawn some general conclusions. Well, you're obviously not high enough to keep a high-ranking man by your side. So you either lower the requirements for men or raise the rank (given your age is impossible). But it's best to start looking at men as PEOPLE.