Wasted 14 Years

   In my opinion, there can be no lost 14 years if they were happy. Only the unhappily spent 14 years are lost. Maybe your partner also thought so - I'm wasting my time with him and decided to think for myself. Yes, maybe the other one has more money, but I don't think that's the reason - it's convenient for you to say it is. The reasons are always in the marriage, in the fact that there is no happiness and love. No normal person would choose money over love and happiness. That's exactly what you want to make your wife - mercantile, abnormal, and you the victim. If it's convenient for you - Ok, but you're lying to yourself. You better end your marriage at last, take the good emotions and memories and move on. You are young, you have a lot of time to find happiness, but be as honest as possible in front of you. Lie to others as much as you want, make your ex what you want, but if you continue to lie to yourself, it will turn against you, because you will repeat the same mistakes and you will always be a victim and you will not only waste 14 years, but a whole life and yes - it will be yours, not someone else's friend. Others will ultimately always choose happiness and love over being with someone out of pity.

   I support № 1. Why, whenever your relationship falls apart at the woman's request, do you not think about where you went wrong, but throw the blame entirely on the woman, calling her mercantile? Because it is more convenient and more sparing for your ego than to admit, at least to yourself, that a significant part of the reasons for this to happen is with you? And another thing - if one person seeks benefit in the other, no matter what, it becomes clear quite quickly. You haven't felt like that for 14 years, now all of a sudden - she preferred money. She didn't prefer money, she preferred the other man. But you don't want to admit it. Years ago, when I broke up with a boyfriend, after we met by chance on the street, he asked me if I was happy now that the current one had money. I passed him with contempt. Because the current one did not have money and wealth, but it gave me an attitude, the feeling of a wanted, wanted and loved woman. Instead of going to bars, he would hang out with others after he sent me home. But this did not point him to a reason even in front of him, because his ego could not accept that there was another who surpassed him. And it was easier for him to accuse me of mercantilism. Well ... after so many years, he's still alone. Because everything is the reason in women.

   I completely agree with the opinion of number 1. Read it well! Accept that sometimes it happens. I guess it hurts, you start all over again, it's hard ... But it's time to take matters into your own hands. Go out with friends. Diversify. Now the weather is nice and allows walks and excursions. By doing pleasant things, the joy of life will gradually return. You can also meet a nice babe, who knows ... :)

   no one chooses only because of the money, but let's be realistic when the relationship is over sex is routine and you don't have 2 levs to get her and 1 coffee and she will feel like a person what do you expect of course she will look for something new!

   It is normal to be like that at first. But, calm man is so arranged that he overcomes everything. And that will pass.

   I am the author. Hey, you women are very understanding, only women have written here ... The family has never been deprived of anything, I have a child. I think that with a salary of BGN 2,400 there have never been any problems with anything. I also have my own apartment. For 14 years I have 14 years of experience and I have never stopped, her ex is not even two years old, let alone worked and her ass hurt. Number 4 no one chose because of the money, how did you know that. I have not made a mistake, I do not drink or smoke and I do not go to women, because I loved my family and it never crossed my mind that this could happen. No one is 100 percent insured, but I found out later.

   Turning the cart roads a lot! Forward and up! There is no way! You can also pray, if you can, if it happens, but ... there is no way ... there are many reasons, not only money .... a combination of many things iiiiiiiiiiii end! It will pass .... I'll tell you! Need Time However !!!!

   And why did she choose you think she chose 'money' instead of love? Why can't she be in love with him? I doubt she abandoned 14 years of marriage because of someone's wallet, but if that's the case, she'll soon regret it because she'll miss love.

   I'm sorry about what happened to you. My relationship is 10 years old. with a child. I recommend you to look at what is written in http://www.izneviara.com/parvite-10-dni.html Depression is terrible ... I can say that I am still struggling with it ... And do not blame your wife ... give her opportunity to live as she wishes. I don't think she's an object to stand by you for the rest of your life. I also think that the blame is not in you, there is simply no guilt, only feelings and desires. I wish you success and a speedy "recovery" ...

   Well, author - there was no problem with the money, so she did not prefer money. And the other man. And most men tend to pretend to be innocent and claim that they did nothing to make that happen to them. In life, however, there are cases of pain in which it turns out that there was a reason to hear the other side.

   Author, you have worked hard. Historically, since the dawn of time, women have chosen the safest party for life, which includes the best possible security, the calmest possible temperament. Of course, this does not mean that when she marries you, she will not meet anyone else. In fact, I think she dumped you for someone else, you can be sure of that. No woman spoils her marriage if she is not in flight, as I like to say. On the other hand, I'm sure you're a good person because of the way she left you. She is sure even now that you will always look at her and your child like painted eggs, even after divorce. Simply put, she has decided how to live in the future, she is probably even in love and wants to grab a handful of life. It is up to you to decide what to do and how to get back on your feet. I would not give you advice on this, because a lot depends on character, a sense of justice, etc. I can tell you that when I was divorcing (more or less the same symptoms as you), I recovered very hard because I chose to see the truth rather than be I turn my head. Then I searched and found out about another man, I realized that this had been going on for several years and after all this, I decided not to whine, but to deal with everything on my own. What's worse was that as you can see the women's answers blaming you anyway, it was the same for me from my ex-wife, girlfriends and others. After accepting all the guilt of everyone, I started from the beginning, I even left them our common apartment. I took a new one, settled down decently and started living according to my new code. So it wasn't long before I found a much younger girlfriend, I noticed that all these years, in which I have tried to please in one way or another all have been undisturbed lost to my experiences. It turned out that I was quite popular among women, I have a nice car, I have a home and things have returned to normal. Then, when the ex played with the one for whom we divorced, she decided to try again with me. Of course, she did not expect that it was one thing for someone to want to have casual sex with her, it was quite another for him to have to live in the house and have to take care of them and understand each other. Of course, I mockingly sent her to go to the apartment I had given her and told her that whatever it was, and that I had no intention of meeting her. Then there were accusations that I didn't want to keep my family, that I didn't take her hand, which wanted to come back, that I was a monster, that I had been dating almost teenagers, but I responded to all this with a smile, because a friend, no matter what you do, you will always be guilty, and if you are guilty, you better do the best for yourself. if they don't respect you. So don't worry, the day is coming when the rules change. Make sure your child doesn't miss anything, but never give money other than your wife's support. If she needs something, you go and buy it yourself without giving money to her. Don't look for her, don't bother her, don't be interested in her, at this age you have the chance to even go out with a 20-year-old, have fun and everything will fall into place :) So don't worry, the day is coming when the rules change. Make sure your child doesn't miss anything, but never give money other than your wife's support. If she needs something, you go and buy it yourself without giving money to her. Don't look for her, don't bother her, don't be interested in her, at this age you have the chance to even go out with a 20-year-old, have fun and everything will fall into place :) So don't worry, the day is coming when the rules change. Make sure your child doesn't miss anything, but never give money other than your wife's support. If she needs something, you go and buy it yourself without giving money to her. Don't look for her, don't bother her, don't be interested in her, at this age you have the chance to even go out with a 20-year-old, have fun and everything will fall into place :)

   The women's answers do not blame anyone, they only point to the other point of view. Because it's very easy to say "but she dumped me for money" and come out of the water dry and innocent like an angel. Most men never admit guilt about something in a relationship with women, even if it's obvious. And this is their biggest mistake. Their other mistake is that they imagine that all women will be abandoned by the new one and will return to beg them to take them back. In many cases, this is not the case, and unfortunately for men, the new relationships of their ex-wives are much more successful. If someone comes back, she must be completely lazy and incompetent so that she cannot cope in life alone. And if they were, why did you choose them?

   I am the author. So today something happened that I did not expect, my ex-wife called on the phone, she was roaring, she was upset, she wanted to see me for a coffee. We sat down, we ordered coffee and when a roar started with crocodile tears there was no stopping. He began to explain to me how much she cared for me, how much I missed her, what feelings she still had for me, she couldn't stand it anymore, she called me I don't love him this other I don't feel anything for him, I didn't want to live with him . And I call her, there's a lot of money and she buys everything for you, she looks at you like a doll, and she calls me poor money doesn't do happiness, she wanted us to get together again after 7 months of separation. Oh I don't know what to do? Why are you such a woman? I don't understand you honestly. Give some advice to the crazy made me already. thanks

   Make sure your child doesn't miss anything, but never give money other than your wife's support. If she needs something, you go and buy it yourself without giving money to her. Don't look for her, don't bother her, don't be interested in her, at this age you have the chance to even go out with a 20-year-old, have fun and everything will fall into place :) I fully support it! I am a woman, 29. And although it is a bright holiday, although I believe deeply, despite everything, I support men who think that way. I'm upset. Bulgarian women are accustomed to separation, divorce only after securing a lover. And don't explain to me, dear ladies, that not money, but something else was missing. My mother can divorce and be a plus for me, she can live without a man to help her, and you can't? !! Amy, I don't respect you! I'm sorry! If you were a little more familiar with psychology - the castration complex, with religion - don't let the bad do it, you would understand! But! The only reason I don't bother with you is - you're too ... come on mercantile! And the author, dear, find your way! You will be happy, because at least I see that you are intelligent - at least mentally. Be happy and you will be, just don't let yourself be cynical and avoid cynical people. I think you will understand me! And move on, because we need normal :)))! just don't let yourself be cynical and avoid cynical people. I think you will understand me! And move on, because we need normal :)))! just don't let yourself be cynical and avoid cynical people. I think you will understand me! And move on, because we need normal :)))!

   You know that a woman and water go - there is no stopping ... Do not regret, but continue forward with your head proudly raised!

   Well, author, you obviously want to get back together. Do it, but my advice is not to give up right away. He pretends to be a little crazy, stay tuned. Tell her you need time to think things through .... Then sit down and talk nicely. What didn't work, who missed what, why it got there. And only then decide if it makes sense to fix your marriage. But if you love each other, it will always make sense.

   17, do you read at all? where did you see him write about child support? author, it is up to you to make a decision. that your wife doesn't deserve much, doesn't deserve. but if you still want it, why not give it a try. take your time and think well. if you feel you still love her, give your relationship a chance. however, if you think she wants you to get together just because her other one was a jerk and so she doesn't stay dry, cut her off. In any case, do not rush, observe the details and its behavior. The advice not to talk about your marriage is also good (if you get there). Success!

   I don't want to be a bad prophet, but she will probably do it again.

   Well done, 14, I support. I am a woman, but I think that in this case and in many other similar commented ones there is no place for the formation of camps on the basis of gender. One of the partners in the relationship has acted dishonestly towards the other, he has preferred himself to the family and the child - regardless of who he is. He didn't even warn of a problem. This is ugly and shameful. Every family is different and I don't know what the author will decide to do, but I would also move on. The child belongs to both of them, he should receive care and attention from them, but it is not necessary to live in a pantomime at home between two people simulating a good relationship until the mother's next whim. In my opinion, it is possible that such a thing will appear, I do not know.

   Yes, that's right. I agree somewhat with 14. I am a woman of 29 and I am already, to put it mildly, "repulsed" by an awful lot of such women. Why? Something similar happened to me. I lived on a family basis with one .... I speak rudely because I no longer feel any respect for him, many years, family stories and so on. At work, one who flirted terribly with everything she encountered before and during her marriage, because she deserved "more". She was underestimated, but it did not prevent her from later marrying the gentleman, and getting pregnant, and giving birth, and not stopping to slander him for cheating on her. Where am I sure from? Because at the moment when her infidelities, hers, and those of my former "gentleman" became public, I was also awarded the title of infidel. There is no such woman stop. Unreasonable, not very smart, but with a very high self-esteem. And the only way to get a high grade is obviously to be graded from at least 2 places at a time. So without setting you up, without hurting, forget about her. It doesn't make sense, it doesn't matter, there is nothing there. Really look after your child, but ... even if it sounds nasty, let his mother know what you think of her. Not the child, his mother. And look at him, and let her fly her flag, since the only happiness for her is sex. When she gets tired of having sex with him, she will change him anyway. Again and again :) Don't be afraid. There are many conscious people. And she is not one of them. :) That's life. So without setting you up, without hurting, forget about her. It doesn't make sense, it doesn't matter, there is nothing there. Really look after your child, but ... even if it sounds nasty, let his mother know what you think of her. Not the child, his mother. And look at him, and let her fly her flag, since the only happiness for her is sex. When she gets tired of having sex with him, she will change him anyway. Again and again :) Don't be afraid. There are many conscious people. And she is not one of them. :) That's life. So without setting you up, without hurting, forget about her. It doesn't make sense, it doesn't matter, there is nothing there. Really look after your child, but ... even if it sounds nasty, let his mother know what you think of her. Not the child, his mother. And look at him, and let her fly her flag, since the only happiness for her is sex. When she gets tired of having sex with him, she will change him anyway. Again and again :) Don't be afraid. There are many conscious people. And she is not one of them. :) That's life. And she is not one of them. :) That's life. And she is not one of them. :) That's life.

   Apparently something was wrong with you, as long as she lightly chooses the material that will only deceive her that she is happy. Otherwise, you should not give up and destroy yourself. Keep going boldly and everything will be fine.

   If you're a man leave her!

   Brother, get away from one now - you got rid of it. After 7 months, she remembered that she missed you. there is no such film, I tell you from experience. I experienced the same as you. After 10 years, I blew it the same way. If a woman starts cheating, write her off. It doesn't make sense, she doesn't love you, but because things aren't going well with her now, she pretends to be remorseful. This type of women just look after their interest and until they catch the new branch they don't let go of the old one. How will you trust her. Do not listen to the commented women, for whom the man is always to blame. In general, it is so ridiculous for an adulterer to exonerate himself and look for a calf under an ox. You must have made mistakes, that's okay, every marriage is a burden, where there is a house and smoke, but to blame yourself for being guilty, as various women here suggest, just forget. Bad thing it happened to you in those years, but you're not too old yet, there are also normal women who don't cheat, who don't think with their pussies, so you'll find. I have written on the subject many times. Read me the stories "infidelity and divorce", "infidel women", don't let this scumbag manipulate you with tears, because these are the most dangerous women. They are actresses who have no shame or shame and are cruel and ruthless.

   Author, if you really love her and want to be together, get together. If not - no. Just put it on the scales and see which will weigh. But if he makes such a crack again, that's it. I am a woman, but there is no "we, the women" and "you, the men" - above all, we are people.

   Author, I will be as brief as possible and tell you my story. My child's father and I broke up 3 years ago. There were quarrels, shouts, ugly emails, text messages and so on. In our country, however, the reasons for the separation were not another man / woman, but the intervention of mothers, fathers, fiancés, etc., lack of money, frequent business trips, his absence from home and other problems. It was only last year that we slowly began to melt the ice, to talk and for him to see his child, after 2 and a half years we had not said a word to each other, and on top of that I had sentenced him for alimony. And on Christmas the miracle happened ... he reached out, hugged me, kissed me ... he still loved me, I loved him too ... We discussed our mistakes, we talked a lot and for a long time ... I think we corrected them as far as is possible. Today, 5 months later, we live together again as before, the child got used to his father, we love each other as before, only we don't have enough time, now I work too, but we try to set aside an hour for ourselves. My mother-in-law has become softer than cotton ... and my heart is trying to get greasy after all the evil it has ever done to us ... even my husband himself limits his contact with her. Our only concern is that he is now a little in trouble with his health, he has vascular problems / with his legs / and I am very worried about him, I suffer from all his pain ... I take him back and forth to the doctors because he can't walk because of pain. .. Sometimes it takes a small gesture, compromises, tenderness, a lot of love, if you still have it, an outstretched hand. Here at Christmas ... if he hadn't reached out to hug me, I would hardly have dared ... My husband took the first step - with kindness and love. Health is priceless - then everything else seems white kahar. I'm thinking, that we were able to reunite because there were no jealousies, infidelities, other people in our beds. It is much harder for a man to accept such a fact. But why not try a good one ... if you still love her, why not? !! It takes a little, but from the heart. Life is not endless and if we have a second chance, why not? !! This year marks 11 years since I met my husband.