I have a colleague from the university. I finished my higher education, but now I am studying for a master's degree. At 25 I am. She also. I am married and she lives on a family basis with her boyfriend. We started to understand each other a lot and, accordingly, to go to exercises together, to go outside the university. We became a little closer and I realized that she also wants to have a baby. My husband and I were just trying. She complained to me that they were not doing well and she really wanted to get pregnant. I tried to give her advice and empathy. A month later, I found out I was pregnant and told her. She rejoiced, but pulled away from me. He didn't look for me, he sat next to me again during lectures, but he ignored me and didn't talk to me. A few days ago I wrote to her on Skype, but she didn't answer me, then I unsubscribed and later I went in again and saw that shortly after I wrote she came in - we missed each other and she wrote on her profile "Hey, dirty garbage!" and never wrote to me again ... I thought we were friends, and now such an attitude. I wonder what to do ... Please advice.
Answers 12
She's obviously very jealous and she's jealous that you're pregnant. You don't need such a girlfriend ..
I fully support number 1. Forget it, as if it doesn't exist.
One question - you don't have much experience with Skype, do you .... I don't know if you are aware that after you unsubscribe and she is not online - SHE DOES NOT receive your message .. She only receives it when you are online , but if it's the next day or there are other messages it may go unnoticed. It is clear that "Dirty Garbage" is on a political basis, given the current events - she wrote it on her profile, not on you, moreover, at this time she has not seen your message and is not related to you at all. I suspect that she withdrew not out of envy, but because she is not comfortable giving her advice on this sick topic. You can even insult and embarrass her by guiding her. I myself have 2 children and many of my girlfriends have a problem conceiving, so I am very careful and the topic of children is taboo between us, unless they have something to tell me. They only told me that over the years they have been overwhelmed by this general expectation of when pregnancy will finally happen - and this traumatizes them so much that it can provoke infertility, only from tension and stress. Because now you have something very beautiful ahead of you - be condescending and do not be afraid of your girlfriend. It's just that now you care about one thing and she cares about another, but don't make each other bitter, talk about other topics and things will get better, you'll see.
Very easy - you drop it too. I don't understand what you are and it's your fault that she can't get pregnant after you've succeeded. This is pure envy. I tell you from personal experience - run away from such people. They may be with you when you are worse than them or you are on the same level, but the moment you have something more than them, malice and envy and ignorance begin. I have suffered from many such friends - exactly the same pattern of behavior. I later dumped them and I feel much better. Such people are a great evil and make you feel guilty when you have something and they don't. In this case, you should be calm because of the pregnancy and you do not need someone to blame you and make you feel bad - cut off all contact. How do you know if this "girlfriend" of yours hasn't had an abortion and can't get pregnant? and now she envies you because you are pregnant. You will really save yourself a lot of trouble if you remove people of this type from your life.
Yes, there is some envy. This happened to my daughter as well. Her friend, who shared many of her innermost things with her, found a way to quarrel with my daughter when she (my daughter gave birth).
For example, I did the same thing when my close friend got pregnant - I withdrew. And not because I envy her, but because I knew I was losing her. I lost two of my best friends after they got pregnant. Both simply got lost when they gave birth. They didn't want us to go out anywhere, they didn't invite me to them, etc. And this almost a year after the birth, not to mention that I harassed them in the first months. Then I gave up trying - apparently people when they give birth and give themselves completely to the children and forget about their friends, at least that was my experience. So when my third girlfriend got pregnant, I just didn't want to go through the same thing. It is better to end our relationship now than to suffer later. And I know that probably not all people are the same, but for me it was a defensive reaction.
Number 3, you're wrong. When the person you are writing to is not online, he does not send him the message, but at the moment he logs in, he sends it to him, if you are also online. but just envious ...
Number 8, I said exactly the same - 1. The author sent a message while the friend was not online. 2. When the friend has logged in to Skype - the author is offline and the message has NOT been received or seen. 3. My friend wrote a status of Dirty Garbage - obviously related to something that excites her at the moment - she wrote it while the author is still offline and her message is still NOT received, so it makes no sense to be connected exactly with her! 3. The author enters and sees the written status, thinking that it is addressed to her! ??? 4. At the same time, her message becomes visible, BUT !!! Let's not forget that she does not live alone, and the computer is shared, the message was received and seen by the person who turned on the computer with automatic logging in to Skype. This man may be her husband. 5. From now on, the signal disappears, showing a new message and the woman may not have seen it at all. I write these things with the full awareness that virtual communication leads to huge misunderstandings and intrigues. Countless times it has happened to me that someone sat at my computer and did not tell me that they had written to me - and so various messages sink forever. I see others by chance with great delay. Who wants to communicate - not to rely on the Internet and not to believe his eyes to the end! PS - I hate someone on Skype lurking to see if I will answer, as if he does not know that anything can happen and I'm not fused with the computer, for God's sake! For example, I went out for 2-3 hours, I leave the computer on, and someone writes to me stubbornly and they line up: where are you, and write two lines, it was a man, anger, insults, mistrust, etc. :( It is forgiven only for people who are from yesterday on the Internet.For mature people it is incomprehensible.
It's the same for me as for number 7. A friend of mine, with whom we were very close, got pregnant 2 years ago and I felt how little by little she started to get excited about other things, to seek the opinion and company of other pregnant or already born women. . It was almost the same with my other girlfriend. She wasn't looking for me to see or go out, and of course I got into a situation, but there are more important things than me. Several times we agreed to go out when the weather was nice, but it always happened that I would go to them and stay there, because either the little one would fall asleep or cry or something else. It never bothered me, I just realized that we no longer share anything, we don't talk about anything but her child. It will be even more painful for your girlfriend, considering that this happiness is not happening to her yet. . However, now,
As long as you are jealous of newborns! Your girlfriends have enough problems and stress with the new motherhood. It's a big change in their lives, though. Show a little understanding and find a hobby, or call another friend when your recently born friend refuses you to go out ...
I have a colleague who is pregnant. I'm glad for her, they still wanted her with her husband for a long time, BUT, there is one BUT I DON'T WANT TO LISTEN and we constantly discuss her pregnancy, EVEN WHEN WE EAT. I'm disgusted, I don't want to hear about births, tears, pain, babies. I have a sensitive stomach plus it's damn annoying to have every conversation revolve around her. It's as if I don't exist and I'm some kind of psychiatrist, trash can, etc. Women, after they get pregnant and then change, think about whether you're acting like my colleague and that this will push her away from you.
Number 11 - no one is jealous, the whole point is that the girlfriend has withdrawn from her and we try to explain to the author that there may be reasons other than envy. It's stressful, that's right, but in the end, friends are there to help each other in difficult times, not to avoid each other.