I have been with my boyfriend for more than half a year. He used to be wonderful, kind, even when we were arguing, he found a way to get along. However, since he started studying, his attitude has completely changed, it has become the exact opposite of what he was. At the very least, he erupts and starts insulting me, sometimes even for no reason. He claims that he loves me and so on, but I don't seem to believe him anymore ... He hurts me terribly and I told him, and he just sat and looked at me with a terrible malice in his eyes. When he comes home, I want him to call me so I know he's OK and he's home, but sometimes he doesn't do it anymore and he makes a crazy scandal out of me if I call him. I can't figure out what's going on. I'm not one of those women who cheats, I didn't do it, I never lied to him about anything, I wouldn't do it. I just want things to be good between us and I do my best to make it so. I swallow the insults, I hide the tears, when he shouts I am silent, I am even forbidden to show my jealousy. He claims that I am to blame for his attitude, I did it myself, but I do not know how I deserved it. Yes, I have raised my voice, but say it doesn't happen to everyone. And now, when I'm nervous about something and if God forbid I say something, I get "Are shut up there!", When I call to ask how it is, I get "Were you normal" and there are constant similar insults. I don't know what's going on, what to do and what else to do to keep him from insulting me and behaving well, yes, he loves me and shows it sometimes, but I just don't know how to get this horrible behavior out of him, what to do about it to treat me like a man .... when he shouts I am silent, I am even forbidden to show my jealousy. He claims that I am to blame for his attitude, I did it myself, but I do not know how I deserved it. Yes, I have raised my voice, but say it doesn't happen to everyone. And now, when I'm nervous about something and if God forbid I say something, I get "Are shut up there!", When I call to ask how it is, I get "Were you normal?" and there are constant similar insults. I don't know what's going on, what to do and what else to do so that he doesn't offend me and behave well, yes, he loves me and shows it sometimes, but I just don't know how to kill this horrible behavior from him, what to do about to treat me like a man .... when he shouts I am silent, I am even forbidden to show my jealousy. He claims that I am to blame for his attitude, I did it myself, but I do not know how I deserved it. Yes, I have raised my voice, but say it doesn't happen to everyone. And now, when I'm nervous about something and if God forbid I say something, I get "Are shut up there!", When I call to ask how it is, I get "Were you normal?" and there are constant similar insults. I don't know what's going on, what to do and what else to do to keep him from insulting me and behaving well, yes, he loves me and shows it sometimes, but I just don't know how to get this horrible behavior out of him, what to do about it to treat me like a man .... I made it myself, but I don't know how I earned it. Yes, I have raised my voice, but say it doesn't happen to everyone. And now, when I'm nervous about something and if God forbid I say something, I get "Are shut up there!", When I call to ask how it is, I get "Were you normal?" and there are constant similar insults. I don't know what's going on, what to do and what else to do to keep him from insulting me and behaving well, yes, he loves me and shows it sometimes, but I just don't know how to get this horrible behavior out of him, what to do about it to treat me like a man .... I made it myself, but I don't know how I earned it. Yes, I have raised my voice, but say it doesn't happen to everyone. And now, when I'm nervous about something and if God forbid I say something, I get "Are shut up there!", When I call to ask how it is, I get "Were you normal?" and there are constant similar insults. I don't know what's going on, what to do and what else to do to keep him from insulting me and behaving well, yes, he loves me and shows it sometimes, but I just don't know how to get this horrible behavior out of him, what to do about it to treat me like a man .... when I called to ask how she was getting "were you normal?" and there are constant similar insults. I don't know what's going on, what to do and what else to do to keep him from insulting me and behaving well, yes, he loves me and shows it sometimes, but I just don't know how to get this horrible behavior out of him, what to do about it to treat me like a man .... when I called to ask how she was getting "were you normal?" and there are constant similar insults. I don't know what's going on, what to do and what else to do so that he doesn't offend me and behave well, yes, he loves me and shows it sometimes, but I just don't know how to kill this horrible behavior from him, what to do about to treat me like a man ....
Answers 23
So I can't tell you what to do, only you can decide. I will tell you about me: if someone tells me one of the things you quoted here, it will disappear from my eyes and from my life forever. Even if I have 3 children, even if I work for little money. There is no chance for me to stay with one, even if I last and swallow my tears. I don't know how you talk about "love," love, and at the same time you say things like that. I don't know how you even associate such a hateful attitude with any love. It is very difficult for me to read such things. The outcome - I say again, for me - is not to tolerate such inferior types and not to have a relationship with them.
Leave him. It will not change. You are not on a desert island with only one man. you will find a soul mate.
As long as you are a dumb duck he will continue to crush you as he wants. And if you think he loves you in his cruel delusion. When a man loves, he would hardly hurt his partner in this way. It's just your fault that you keep sitting with this scum, but it's like you don't have the dignity for 2 cents. I am very annoyed by such weak-willed women. Still, with or without him, life goes on. Come on, I guess, and come to your senses! : @
dump him. if you are so sure that he loves you, he will beg you to get better and promise you not to behave like that anymore, if he doesn't, then he doesn't love you and there's no point in being with him. show him that you have dignity, character, opinion and that if this does not bring him to be saved somewhere ............................ simba
lest there be another and he wants to be with her, and he can tell me to separate
There is no smoke without fire, there is always some reason for such illogical behavior, try to clarify it and if it is correctable - well, if not - everyone in their path. Half a year is a short time to get to know each other well enough. Winnie the Pooh
I don't know if it's possible to love without respect, but your friend obviously can. (ironically, for those who do not understand)
Well, I advise you to back off, totally. Don't call him, don't communicate with him in any way, just as they say, hide for a while. And watch ... if he does not seek contact with you in any way after a certain period of time / but not a day or two, but at least 2-3 weeks at least / then know that it does not make sense no matter how difficult it is for you step back forever and continue your life. You obviously deserve more than his insults. maybe somewhere you will meet your real man. I wish you success!
Half a year is too little to get to know. I have been with my friend for over ten years and sometimes I am surprised when he serves me a surprise and I doubt that I know him completely. Do not try to change it, it is impossible. Everyone is as he is. Do not be like a mother to him, he is not a small child, he decides what to do, and at the same time carries the responsibility for his actions. Accept it as it is, if you can't, then you are not for each other ...
Look at yourself - "I swallow the insults, I hide the tears, when he shouts I am silent, I am even forbidden to show my jealousy. He claims that I am to blame for his attitude, I did it myself, but I do not know how I deserved it . " Well, he's right, you're guilty, he didn't say you deserved it, but you're definitely guilty. I can't understand you women, you suffer insults and fights sometimes, and then what can I do to be treated like a tongue. Well, girl, you don't respect yourself, you want him to do it. By your behavior you show that no matter what he does, you are ready to endure and forgive. As long as you behave like that, he will not change. In general, I think you should beat his jester, because if you don't, he will soon. If he loved you, he wouldn't treat you like that. But
Get away from him. I'm not saying to leave him, but only to show a cooler attitude. If he has feelings for you, he will soften.
Behave with yourself as a person, so that he behaves in the same way. First of all, why do you tolerate such an attitude towards yourself at all? And you put up with it and do it yourself? You shouted, but just leave, hang up the phone and don't show up until he calls you and apologizes. If he pretends to be hit and doesn't know why you don't call him, explain to him, but stay cold ... And most importantly, behave like a queen, because if you don't, you have no right to expect others to do it. honey
Apparently you are very jealous, as you yourself admitted. Men like to be trusted, otherwise they feel offended. Trust supports a relationship. Stop looking for him on the phone for a while, do not "annoy" him, accept him as a CONTROL. And at a convenient time, when you are both calm, apologize to him for the jealousy, say that you do it because you love him, that it happens involuntarily on your part and not to think that you control him. "Pause" with the calls ... see if he starts to be interested in the fact that you don't "annoy" him. Look at his reaction, he will be glad that you have changed and calmed down. That's what I think. Calm the ball Greetings: Rosiros 49g.
I don't think he loves you anymore ... There's probably another woman involved. Otherwise, such a sharp change in behavior has no other explanation.
Well, I don't think there's anything you can do. Even if you influence him somehow, it will only be temporary and then he will regain his old behavior, unfortunately - once it comes from within, it's probably embedded in him and I don't think it's reasonable to you think you will change it. It is difficult but I think your relationship is over. Look for the person who deserves you. Good luck!
Talk calmly, predispose him, something may bother him, there may be a problem with learning something, there may be another, there may not be and you are too pretentious and make him nervous if you are used to walking on your ass and now to be busy and to study..it would be normal to get annoyed.Of course I do not justify his behavior, whatever the reason.There is no way to understand if you do not talk.Good luck Eva
Thank you all for the comprehensive comments and answers to my question. Well, after another quarrel yesterday, I texted him not to call me at least until the end of the day, that I just don't want to hear it. Only at 17:30 he called me with the words "Baby, I love you" and it sounded like he was sorry for his action. Of course, this does not mean that he will receive from me all the attention and love he received until a few days ago, he just went too far. I don't think there's another woman, she's not one of those men who finds it right to cheat
I think this man doesn't love you, you've annoyed him, he's nervous that he both wants you to break up and he doesn't want to because you're comfortable with him - you don't cheat on him, you cry from his insults, you don't answer him and you don't oppose him. He has made you a soft creature, ready to forgive the unforgivable. He has started to study, his self-confidence has increased, he has met new people, probably a new woman and you just become superfluous. He wants to have fun with new ones. people around him, he came in more control over the phone and erupted against you. No, it's not your fault, it's just his new lifestyle. As if he wants to break the shackles of the past, including you .Don't call him for at least 1 week and wait for his reaction. If he calls and is intrigued, it's fine, but if he starts screaming again - put the line, there are decent guys on this earth!
Until 20: well, lately I haven't called him, but I let him call me, and he does, at any convenient moment. And it erupts, but only when there is a problem, but otherwise he calls me so spontaneously, just to tell me that he loves me and other nice things ... he just got up as they say "at times" 5 minutes is good and great, 5 minutes is nasty and great again and so ...
№ I'm 15th Rossiros. Well, in that case, if he continues to behave badly, talk seriously and tell him that if he continues in the same spirit ... you will leave him ... YOU ARE NOT FOUND on the street. Conscious boys and men as much as you want.
There is something called routine, find a way to intrigue him with something for yourself - a new language course, some new activity ... Make him a little jealous - put a dose of intrigue in the relationship, let him think that he may lose you. is sure of you and that's a problem!
He met another woman after he started studying and that's why his behavior towards you has changed so drastically. Except he doesn't have the courage to tell you and is harassing you hoping that you will leave him so that his conscience doesn't hurt. Realize Tell him in your eyes that you know about the other, improvise that you saw him and he will confess.
I understand what's wrong with you, but the story is very old already. It's been almost 7 years, but I can tell you to dump it completely. With what right will he insult you, this is not a man at all, but an absolute mold - sorry, but he does not love you. I will never say something like that to my love, I have always been attentive to women. Miro