For starters, hello. I've read stories here, I've given advice, but I haven't written before. I have some things I want to share. I live in not much city, if it matters, I'm 27. I lived with my father, aunt and grandmother. My mother left my dad when I was 3. And since then not a word, not a bone from her. I don't know anything about her, where she is alive, etc. When I was 10, I lived with a woman. He was happy and she always treated me well, took care of me, helped me with homework and what not. She was my mother in the true sense of the word. I was glad that my father was happy, and I was by his side. Like I said, I lived with my grandmother and aunt. In a two-storey house. Grandma and aunt downstairs and me with dad and mom (as I called her already) upstairs. Everything began to line up little by little. And suddenly everything changed. When I was 17 my mother died. Injured in an accident with a minor driver. From then on, Dad shut himself in and cursed the day he was born. It worked, but I could see it wasn't good. We talked about many other things. I got him out of this state, and he got me out. I remember the summer when I enrolled in university. I got home and told Dad. He hugged me with the words: “You are my pride and happiness, son, I will remember this day forever. "An unforgettable day ... A few days later he had a heart attack at work. I was on my way and my aunt called to tell me. I don't remember how I got home. I fell into a serious condition, apparently my aunt and grandmother were not well. I gathered strength. My aunt fell ill a few years later and she left. She was unmarried and had no children. I survived and I stayed with my grandmother, I traveled 3 times during the week so as not to leave her alone, I worked to support myself and followed. I met a girl when I thought there was no happiness for me. We were boyfriends for 1 year, we lived together in my hometown and we signed. We both worked. We started thinking about a child, after a miscarriage and a lot of grief, after 2 years she got pregnant again. We would have a boy to name after my father - Preslav. My wife died during a premature birth 1 year ago. The little one survived only a few days and he left. I've been at the bottom ever since. As long as my grandmother is alive, she takes care of me as a small child. I get up, go to work and home. Nothing else. I don't talk to anyone, I don't communicate with my friends. It may sound funny and pathetic, but I cry often. I would like you to give me purely human advice. Should I go to a psychiatrist, Grandma says to help me. But I don't think the pills he will eventually prescribe will help. I do not know. I read a lot of loss stories here and that's how I get sick. You are not alone, we all bear the losses. Be strong, which I am not. Thank you for listening to me.
Answers 14
I hope your story is true, you have experienced so much grief and loss of your closest people that ... I have no words. Be strong and healthy, I wish you, once you have gone through this, nothing will stop you in the future. Hopefully from now on everything will be fine for you and the sun will rise for you. Hold on!
No matter how much you don't believe and it will pass, be strong!
Go to a psychologist just to talk and do not isolate yourself from so-called friends and acquaintances. Everything happens with people in this world, use them to get out of the hole.
A psychologist would help you.
No, not a psychiatrist! If you are going to someone, go to a psychologist, they can not prescribe medication. As in many other topics, drugs do not solve problems, but silence them. That is, they act temporarily and are a double-edged sword. Load up with a lot of patience, it is difficult to find a specialist with whom to work well together. There are many psychologists, but a large part of them are such only by diploma, while their real skills are not there at all. I speak from the experience of my relatives, I myself have not gone to a psychologist, but I have waited for relatives in front of different offices and I have an idea of how things are. Another important thing to say is that you have to help yourself. It makes sense from the experts, but they can't help you if you don't want to help yourself. The effort is as much of the psychologist as it is of your own. Second tip. Don't post in forums like this, man! If you are going to share, let it be to relatives or a psychologist. All kinds of individuals roam here, some of them are well-meaning, but others will harm you. You should take care of yourself! Look at yourself as if you were your own parent, look at yourself from a side perspective. In your situation, certain statements can seriously affect you. Beware, do not allow strangers in your personal tragedies. You open your heart to us, thank you for that, but this ostentation can bring you pain, because you care, the wound is still open. Finally, I'm sorry for your loss. Life is hard, it takes away our loved ones. I think it is right to continue living. It's hard, I know, but don't shut yourself up in this gray everyday life. Go out, socialize, play sports, pursue goals. You used to live for your loved ones, now live in their honor. Your father would not want you to be lonely and sad. Your girlfriend wouldn't want your life to end. These people loved you, they wanted you to be well. Now you suffer so much from their loss that you forgot to see the beauty around you. Now you just exist, but your time on this Earth is fleeting, snatch with full hands, give and take when they offer you good.
He who has not experienced it, easily gives advice - be strong. Yes, everyone wants it, but it's not just wishes. I read the whole topic and from the point of view you have, I don't think you are a psychiatrist. Psychiatrists are for sick brains, you are not sick, but depressed by life. You have the strength, you need a little peace and support from loved ones. If you go to a psychiatrist, he will prescribe you strong antidepressants that will completely confuse your life. I would recommend you try herbs, lots of mint tea, apple cider vinegar (homemade) and honey. In my youth I was in a similar condition and I was able to help myself with herbs. And if the tea doesn't work quickly, you can try the very mild antidepressant Deanxit. Small pink pills that increase serotonin in the body and relieve a person. Rather talk to a psychologist, but not a psychiatrist. Time really heals, but only the victim knows his situation.
I wish you health and strength to overcome the difficulties.
You have experienced a lot, but your grandmother has experienced even more - she has lost both her children (your father and your aunt), her husband, 3 daughters-in-law (your father's 2 wives and your wife) and a great-grandson. Only you are left. No matter how difficult it is for you, you will have to change your lifestyle - diet, habits, everything. They wrote you well to try to help yourself with herbs and mild antidepressants. To go out among people and find activities that bring you pleasure. Either way, you're a healthy, young man and you can't give up living. You also need to understand that the soul is eternal and your loved ones actually watch over you regularly, only you do not see them due to lack of sensitivity. If you have to read "The Way of Souls", it is freely available on the net. It helps a lot to realize some universal truths and to look more philosophically at our short earthly journey. You also need a new wife. One can always love, as long as one wants to and is not afraid that it will hurt. And even if it hurts, it's still good to love. You have two options - to sink into self-pity and move cowardly or to live fully, despite the pain that life brings us. I wish you luck and strength.
What a sad story! I knew a man with a history like yours ... now he is happily remarried (his first wife and child died in childbirth) and has two children. So do not lose hope! Someday you will be happy too! Until then, your grandmother needs you.
Yes, as you were told go to a psychologist! Don't go to a psychiatrist. You do not have depression, but you have experienced an awful lot of events and normally, you have fallen into a very serious condition. But you don't need pills, you need someone to tell you how to experience grief.
If you are not strong, start strengthening. Don't think you're punished by someone else's decision. Life is a collection of coincidences and deliberate decisions. We have no control over coincidences. We have to accept them as we accept that we are human, that there is night and day, that we were born with two hands with one foot, with deafness ... this is just our world. And we have to plan our future for him. Unexpected major changes should change our plans, but not end them. It is sad if someone decides for himself that he no longer wants a future. Much sadder than doing it without his will. Do not read other people's sad stories, but find out how to cheer up your own. Read about things you want to happen to you.
From the author: Hello, yes the story is completely true, unfortunately. Thanks for the advice and support of all of you. I will try as one of the commenters had written with herbs, I hope they relax me. I talked to the personal, prescribing herbal pills. I hope it helps, and I will help myself. Maybe I'll visit a psychologist, as you said. Thanks again.
Number 9 This acquaintance of yours is a big idiot and probably didn't love his deceased wife after he married another and had 2 children. Don't praise him. I will give Keanu Reeves as an example, although he is rich and famous, he has not been able to overcome his deceased wife and child for 20 years and has not started another family. This is a man of example, not your broken friend, who does not respect his dead wife and child.
I'm so sorry, man, for what happened to you. What first crossed my mind while reading your story was FILM: its name is Collateral Beauty 2019