Hello, I want to share my story and the pain I am feeling and I hope there will be no reproaches and insults, thanks in advance. We have been together for 12 years, my husband changed radically after our wedding. He constantly found occasions to go out, he always had to travel somewhere, but I, in my work, did not pay attention. We were abroad and one day he told me that he was returning to BG, but alone because our relationship was exhausted and he no longer loved me, I had a hard time accepting him, but somehow I moved on. But the nightmare started again, because a year later he came to me in England and told me that he was wrong and could not live without me. I succumbed to my emotions and feelings and forgave him, but he convinced me to return to BG together to be a family. I agreed. When I got home, I found out that he had been in a relationship with a girl that year, with which he lived in his parents' house. When I told him, he called me "crazy" and that people were talking nonsense to separate us. I got pregnant and it all happened again, he was arrogant with me, he didn't care, he came home when he felt like it and I couldn't stand it. Pregnant at 7 months, I followed him and saw that he had a relationship with an unknown woman. When I told him I knew everything, he hid and left me, 7 months pregnant. He came at the birth of the child, but he did not live with me, and he denied the other woman and told me that he had left me because I had offended him that he had a mistress. We divorced and our relationship deteriorated, he began to take revenge on me and blame me. He teased me that my parents were urging me to divorce and that I had deprived the child of a family. He continues to live with the woman in question, and the child and I are his hostages in BG because without his consent we cannot return to England with the child. It only threatens and hinders me, what to do, please advice. Thanks.
Answers 22
What does the title have to do with the topic ???
My ex-husband imagined that he had caught me by ... the ovaries, until I sent some boys to advise him a little. He called me after that, he said that he was waiting for me in front of a notary's office to sign my power of attorney. He didn't care about the child, he just wanted me to "keep" me there, a kind of as you say, as a hostage. Well, every master has a master. Send him an adviser to your handsome man, you will see how quickly they get smarter.
I can't give advice, but your ex-husband is total rubbish!
What happened, the option is a divorce, anyway you are not and you were not a family. But even after the divorce, his consent abroad will still be required, so you can ask a lawyer how you can ask for full parental rights. Please don't lie so easily and believe fabricated lies, you had the facts after all! Now all you have to do is get your life in order and start fresh, it's not that hard if you don't tie yourself to your husband's games! Think about how this would affect the child and if you decide to go to England again, whether the change of environment will not have a negative impact.
You want advice when it's too late. Such are the laws, no one can break them. He gave you so many markers that he is not serious, and you even gave birth to a child for him !? Now carry your cross, no one can help you. When the child becomes an adult, then you will have complete freedom. Until then, you will lick the wounds caused by your carelessness. He pretended to be a Syrian refugee (without documents), only they have privileges in this country and easily go abroad.
It is too late for advice, you should have assessed the situation adequately a long time ago. The more you sit next to him, the more problems you will have. I advise you not to blame men in general, the fact that this is a consumer and has problems with himself, does not mean that all men are like that, I know many women with a similar character, as the common denominator between them is running away from responsibility, always someone another is to blame for their actions or inactions. Such people, even if they are with the ideal and perfect person, will still be wrong, out of place and never happy, because they do not have time to rejoice in searching for the fevers in other people's eyes, without seeing their crowds.
Oh dear! I'm so sorry for what you went through! Apparently this one is really big and doesn't deserve to have a family! What can I tell you, look ahead and believe that everything will be fine and the less contact you have with this person, the better. Have a child and sometimes you have to be in a relationship, but otherwise avoid a relationship with him. Only one thing I did not understand, how does it stop you to go to England? Problems with the child's permit or? This only confirms my opinion about him, but sooner or later he will find his master, and now you take care of the child and let him break his head and run among various women. That's it for a while.
And with 20 more to go out and try, and to be the bastard on the other side, he will end up alone, empty inside and unhappy ..
Honey, you're in this situation yourself. Just go to court and tell that there.
He has tied things up and you will suffer for it. Go to court.
Abe to run away from such a mold like the devil! Ok you did it, you went back to him, you made a child and now you're separated again, and he's behaving disgustingly. My advice is to consult a lawyer to see if there is any way to go abroad? If not, you move as far away from him as possible, he can't go up and down and then have claims. If this is not possible, because he has to see your child, then act neutrally. Without any conversations, without any agreements between you. You just exchange a few stories during the child's visits and that's it. Find another man girl, let him protect you from that mold. I can't stand men like that and I get very angry reading what they do to some women. I wish you success and seek your happiness, it is not with this man!
I thought about this option, to intimidate him, but whether the hatred will not cause even more hatred. I hope there is some legal and honest way to take the child out, because I think about his future, and he thinks only about himself. At least he is guilty of lowering his head and allowing us to leave with the child so that we are not ashamed of his actions. Regarding the fact that I have titled my story "Everything Returns", I want to say that there is a Lord and I hope that one day my sorrows will be relieved and I will achieve my dream. I do everything for the child, and he tells me that one day the child will understand and forgive him. I should go where I want, but the child stays here, because "As much as is yours, so is mine," he told me. I am desperate, I hope someone will encourage me with an adequate answer. I keep thinking there's a way to go with the kid,
Author (12) and what else caused hatred ?! Where else can your life ruin for you and your child, huh ?! He is in the thing and arrange things in such a way that you and YOUR child are well, he has lost the right to be called a father. Consult a lawyer first, tell us what happened here, but keep in mind another loophole. It is very easy to sign a general power of attorney, to contain not only the permission to travel, but also to live there. Make it so that you never have to look for it for permission again. If he doesn't confuse you, you can take away all his parental rights. I wouldn't feel sorry for him, some people just have to be ... inclined not necessarily to talk. Success!
13, "If he doesn't confuse you, you can take away all his parental rights." - 13, do you write from the moon? How do you see this happening? Have you heard of laws? With stubbornness and perseverance, nothing will be achieved, no one will put their head in the bag. Everything must be done legally. Her mistake is that she gave birth here. Why, when she realized what an idiot her husband was, did she not go and give birth in England, as was her goal? There were no obstacles then. Whoever grinds everything, she will eat it, she has crushed everything herself. It's too late to whine. When he wants England, he stays with his father's child and leaves unhindered. Subsequently, the child can withdraw to go, but much later.
Please, without reproach, I know it's my fault, but what can I do when I'm good and this was the only man in my life. I am too conservative and I do not think about other relationships, I plan to give my life to my child, but I want to leave, because the decline of Bulgaria does not seem to stop. I have a job there, relatives, friends, everything has remained there since I've been in BG every day, and after what happened I have no good memories from here. I want to leave so I don't see him, because every meeting with him is painful. I can't wait until the child turns 18, because I think that there he will be given a better foundation and become a better person, and the farther away from his father the better for him. I don't want my child to be spoiled, like most children of divorced parents. By the way, my ex wanted to get along, but this time I refused, that's why he's so angry with me, because he's used to always forgiving him, and now he's hitting a rock. He started threatening and accusing me, completely selfish, he feels no guilt, no conscience, no morals. Ohhhhh I don't know, I hope to succeed and I believe that sooner or later things will work out.
Well, to some extent he is right - as much as it is yours, so much is this child his. Why do you want to leave so much, can't you start your life fresh in Bulgaria? So maybe it will be better for the child. I didn't understand, do you have an older child?
"I want to leave so I don't see him," - you can leave and you won't see him, but you can't leave with the child, it depends on the father. "And the farther away from his father the better for him." - This is the main reason why the father does not agree to the child to leave Bulgaria. You choose one of the two options. Either you leave, but without the child, or you stay here with the child, you choose. You have no other option, at least up to 10 years.
You find the best family law lawyer and file a family lawsuit. rights only to you. There is nothing else. The lawyer will teach you what is being done so that it is, if not legal, then at least unpunished.
After all the pain I'm feeling, I didn't expect such offensive comments. I hope no one reaches my position, to be a hostage of the person I loved and to be powerless to fight for the future of my child. So I will do 19., I found a good lawyer in Sofia, who told me that the father's consent to permanently leave the mother with the child outside Bulgaria can be replaced. I hope we succeed, although I know it will be very difficult. And I thought it was impossible, but they are trying to convince me that we should try and that maybe we will succeed. Wish me success, thank you.
I think differently. Author, you yourself say that all comments are offensive. Really, what was your problem with you and your husband? Don't tell me, answer these questions yourself and not with some abstract concepts, but with REAL facts. The man has even come to you again, to get along. Do you know what the truth is? The truth is that we live in a consumer time, in which we are not the children, but the adults, we are spoiled and we want everything to happen in a second. And a relationship is built with a lot of patience, forgiveness, and compromise. It seems to me that both you and your husband are very impulsive and make an elephant out of a fly. There is no trust on your part, which may have given rise to his infidelity (if any). Think about it ... think about whether this bad picture you create in your mind is REAL. I only on the comments of PEOPLE UNKNOWN about you, I can see how they only embellish your story, it's all a fabrication ... please go back to reality and talk to your husband like a man, not an adversary. If you truly believe in God, you will understand me. Give you love first to get it back. And just by complaining, it doesn't make sense ... you see for yourself what's going on, if you start creating artificial problems, they only set you on fire and it gets worse from bad. The same with the 'smart' ideas above to intimidate him with some men ... is that a worthy act in your opinion? To intimidate the father of your children ... I just have no words for people's thinking ... they have great ways to solve problems, so they are in this situation. By the way, that's why he holds you, as you say as a hostage, because he also acts impulsively and out of fear of losing you, does nonsense.
girl, 16 years old. Everyone will criticize you until they fall into your situation, so do not worry or despair. There is always a way ... on the subject .... This is a manipulator. "A dog that barks doesn't bite" Oppose him, show him you're stronger than he ever suspected. Keep your head up. He relies on your kindness and fear. I had come across such a manipulator .... You made mistakes ... you realized them, you keep going !!!! There is no point in living in the past and your mistakes, so you will not climb up again. Yes, you are already stuck, but once you realize it, what prevents you from standing up and fighting ?? I took a quick look at some of the comments and liked one that mentioned "lawyer." And now listen to the plan: 1- stop complaining. :) 2-you regain your faith. 3-you set a goal. 4-you succeed. :)
Thanks 22, and regarding the comment of 21, if I forgave 2 times and decided not to say the 3rd, if you want to be trampled for life, let me, but I'm tired of being replaced with garbage. And I don't know what you are, but I'm not spoiled at all, because if I were I wouldn't be able to look after my child alone, and I would go to the first person I meet to use it, but I'm not such a person. And my mistake was that I trusted him not 100, but 1000%, but he is an ungrateful person who does not want to have commitments and commitment. Why, since I am so ankle-deep, do you think I have endured 13 years and now he decided to betray me after I gave birth to a son. Because when a person does not realize what he has, he loses it, but forever, so many tears, forgiveness and humiliation are always on my back. If you can tolerate your success, I withdraw from such garbage and I am sorry that he is the father of my child.