Hello, Lately I've been thinking a lot about what a relationship should be like, what should and shouldn't be done to be successful. I recently lost my father and there is hardly a day that I don't think about how short life is and how vulnerable we really are. And how important it is to find the right person. Not just a person to start a family with, because children grow up and take their own path, but our partner stays with us. A person with whom you can feel comfortable with each other, be friends, have at least one hobby in common, love to spend time together, generally such things. Seemingly simple but important. Last year we broke up with my boyfriend after 3 years of relationship, due to poor communication, differences. However, we heard each other on the phone almost all the time, we saw each other but without sexual contact. We have always been close. At the beginning of this year, a year had passed since our separation. A month before that, my father left, and then he helped me a lot to get out of the state I was in. Shortly afterwards, he took the initiative to talk about us. He admitted to me that for this one year since we have not been together he has not had another. Me too. We talked a lot about the reasons we broke up because we still had feelings, and we soon got together. It's been two months, everything was ok until two weeks ago. Here are the reasons: We were out for Sofia for a weekend, we took a nice photo walk, then I said I would upload photos, and he asked me terribly if they were with him, after I told him that he was not in the photos, he sighed with relief. I was very upset, although at this stage I would not like to upload general photos yet, but I still felt uncomfortable, I don't know why.
Then, watching TV, they ran an ad in which you could win a trip around the world, and he said, "I'd leave everything right away, and I'm leaving. Nothing is holding me back." It hurt me a hell of a lot, I didn't give up and we changed the subject, obviously he felt it too. I'll tell you how we spend time together. We do not live together, we never are. We see each other 2-3 times a week sometimes 4. During the rest of the time he prefers to see his friends, respectively I do the same. Not that we don't have mutual friends. We have but we don't always get together. When we are together we are either at home or at home, cuddling, watching TV, or going for a walk somewhere for a weekend. For me, the problem with describing these events is that I'm not sure about it. I feel neglected again, and somehow by the way. That was one of the reasons we broke up. He was always busy, he always had an appointment to see his friends, he still didn't have the time and energy to do something together.
I had little hope that this would change, but I see that everything is repeating itself little by little. Look, I'm not one of those people who want to be non-stop with my partner, I respect personal space and I'm in favor of keeping it. Everyone needs it. Well, that's basically it. It's weird that I do it in a forum, but I needed to pour out my soul in front of people I don't know. I went through a lot and maybe my assessment of things is exaggerated, I don't know anymore. I don't know what to do. So what do you think of a stable relationship? but I see that everything is repeated little by little. Look, I'm not one of those people who wants to be non-stop with my partner, I respect personal space and I'm in favor of keeping it. Everyone needs it. Well, that's basically it. It's weird that I do it in a forum, but I needed to pour out my soul in front of people I don't know. I went through a lot and maybe my assessment of things is exaggerated, I don't know anymore. I don't know what to do. So what do you think of a stable relationship? but I see that everything is repeated little by little. Look, I'm not one of those people who want to be non-stop with my partner, I respect personal space and I'm in favor of keeping it. Everyone needs it. Well, that's basically it. It's weird that I do it in a forum, but I needed to pour out my soul in front of people I don't know.
I went through a lot and maybe my assessment of things is exaggerated, I don't know anymore. I don't know what to do. So what do you think of a stable relationship? I went through a lot and maybe my assessment of things is exaggerated, I don't know anymore. I don't know what to do. So what do you think of a stable relationship? I went through a lot and maybe my assessment of things is exaggerated, I don't know anymore. I don't know what to do. So what do you think of a stable relationship?
Answers 7
I don't want to get flies in, because I may be wrong, and it's not good to put movies in your head, but also to be naive, but the incident with the photos ... makes me think that in the end this year there was someone next to him who didn't know you were together yet. This would explain why you "ignore" and go out more with your friends.
I have no clear idea of a stable relationship. It is enough for me to have love and harmony. Listen to how I imagine things. The man speaks Spanish, for example, and the woman Chinese. They are learning to speak English - this is a stable relationship. My boyfriend and I are very different. We have no common hobbies. I like the chaos in my feelings, and he is very tight there too. He is correct to the point of going crazy. He's smart, but he doesn't listen to anyone. I listen, but that's it. It's weird, but we live well together. Differences make us understand each other. There was a period when we spoke different languages, it took us time to find a balance between each other and to speak a common language, only our language. Sometimes we argue about things that are not in the heart of any of us. I'm not interested in him or him. We fight because we need to get our emotions out. We do it and we are not angry. We understand that we just had to fight to pass. Sometimes we are as sweet as sugar. Kisses, hugs, drooling. None of us fall in love with sweet relationships, but we also have periods in which we pamper ourselves. We understand without words. I know when to give him the water. He understands my mood in the morning, before I even speak. We don't have a perfect relationship. On the contrary, we are terrible, chaotic, illogical, stubborn. A'be, we are far from perfect. But we are good together, we speak a common language and no one else is able to understand it. Our relationship will not win a quality award, but it is definitely stable. Stability comes with an understanding that has grown into harmony. You may not agree with each other, but you need to understand each other. You can get angry sometimes, but you must respect the other's opinion and priorities. Sometimes differences cause us pain and separation, but it's great if they are overcome. You can only have a stable relationship with someone you love, respect and understand. Even if you don't agree with him, even if he makes you angry at times. As long as you find a way to understand each other, your relationship will be strong. You need to be able to live with your friend's bad qualities, they are part of him and you will have to endure them on the days when you are not patient at all.
First, how can you believe a man that he was alone and dry for a year ?? Ha ha, impossible, it's a hell of a long time !! Second, what did you expect to change and live happily? Men do not change, much less those with many friends. Believe me, I speak from personal, bitter experience. For a third or one year you have suffered from an obviously doomed relationship, I don't see you having any hobbies, things to do together ... Just walking and sitting at home seems hellishly depressing to me. And I think of you as antisocial ..
The relationship is of two people. As romantic and cliché as it sounds, it's like being kindred spirits. To know what the other wants without words. Sex and kissing can with anyone. But only one will be the sweetest for you and you will feel like you are flying when you hug him. Conversations go smoothly without anyone being embarrassed or twisted. To feel that it is as if it is most pleasant for you to communicate with him. Many people have forgotten to communicate today. They are buried in the phones, on Facebook, the tablets. Notice how many people in a cafe, for example, do not look at their phones or chat. Very little, right? Well, it's the same with relationships. If there is no communication, there is nothing. You are different with this boy. He preferred to be with his company more than with you. No people are too tired and busy! There are priorities and you were not a priority for him. Remember it from now on, when a man comes out with the excuse that he doesn't have time and is tired. He's lying to you! Men find time for friends, colleagues, football, other sports, hobbies of some kind, but not for you, because they do not want and you are not their priority. Everyone has commitments, but no one is so busy as not to take an hour or two to see each other. Don't accept this excuse anymore, because you will only teach the person next to you that he will get away with it and will abuse it. By no means do I want to convey that I recommend for the mother to be inactive all the time. Just don't let anyone learn that you accept all excuses and that you put yourself behind everyone else in his life. A stable relationship is made with compromises and mutual desire. You have been separated for a year, you have become alienated. It will take time to get closer again,
I am married, I have children, I had a long relationship with my husband before that, without living backwards and I can tell you one thing - there is no security. Stability is a temporary state, like everything in this world. Do not burden the other with your expectations and requirements for him, if you can not accept him as he is, end the relationship. If you want to change something in a situation, you have to change yourself first. Personally, I do not see a perspective in your relationship, according to what you write. If you do not feel happy and satisfied, what is the point of continuing it?
I no longer know what it's like to be in a relationship. I've been with girls for years. We shared our bite. Trouble. Sadness. Happiness, warmth in bed in winter :) And we hugged them like that and watched movies and went out. One of us traveled around the world, and I saved her life and she looked at me sick, and with a broken leg and argued with the doctors because of me ... The other was waiting for me from the barracks and in '90 we went for potatoes and compote from the village in Student City. The third one and I traveled Europe by bicycle on a journey for 6 months, during which many things happened to us ... I really don't know what it's like to be in a relationship anymore. I think I've tried enough and I'm extremely disappointed with the women. Everyone lied to me all the time. All three have cheated on me. Not just those three ... and the other 5 we tried. It hurts a lot, I'm sorry. Enough. I have a lump in my throat that reminds me of myself for 15 years ... that I only go to work aimlessly, I don't know where I am and I get drunk after seeing my father crying at the table, that he didn't expect me to remained an old bachelor. Author, I would be lying to you about the relationship, but now I see that it is a utopia and a children's tale that children seem to only believe in.
To number 3: I'm a 34-year-old man and I haven't had sex in a year and a half since my wife and I broke up!