Hello! I am a 23 year old girl and my 5 year relationship ended a few days ago. I don't know if I did the right thing. He is the person I love and will always love: kind, caring, good, intelligent and everything, BUT he has bad drunkenness. When he starts drinking, he pours himself alcohol, glass after glass, becomes aggressive and touches me for no particular reason, which is why we were separated. Then he "changed." He went to the doctor and his tests were very bad (almost cirrhosis). And he stopped, for himself and for us. After so much time, he did it again, in the evening, when I went out with friends. By bad drunkenness I mean: he sits down to drink alone when he's not with anyone, he chases me in the middle of the night, he touches me (once he even hit my head in the mirror), he doesn't remember anything he did or said, he dropped out is in bed he has fallen asleep in every possible place, even on the street, and he always regrets afterwards when he sobers up is my man, my being, in whom I fell in love and who loves me more than anyone. I know how contradictory and stupid it sounds.
My question is, is there any chance that I can really help him, because when you claim that you love someone, you are not left alone, but you help them, right? Or I just have to go on with my life and try not to think about it that much, because even now I'm worried about it. Did I do the right thing by refusing to fight? are you helping him? Or I just have to go on with my life and try not to think about it that much, because even now I'm worried about it. Did I do the right thing by refusing to fight? are you helping him? Or I just have to go on with my life and try not to think about it so much, because even now I'm worried about it. Did I do the right thing by refusing to fight?
Answers 6
M29 I think you did the right thing by leaving him. I'm not a doctor but I know what cirrhosis is. This is a condition in which the liver works at a capacity of 10% or less. There is no cure. Don't deal with alcoholics, find yourself a good boy.
Don't help people who don't help themselves! A crooked tree and a drunkard can't get better! Drunkenness damages the brain and genes of the generation! Even Russian drunks do not drink alone. YOU love him and he does NOT love himself.
You did the right thing by breaking up with him. He cannot control himself. And he is an adult. You can't change it. Only he can change if he wants and if he receives professional help. Don't deal with him anymore, he just killed you on a drunken night. Run away from him. His salvation is his job. There is nothing you can do.
In general, I also think that you should help the person you love in trouble, but especially the case of alcoholism is quite different. I will not go into details, but my father is like that and I know from personal experience that you can't help such a person even if you want to. It is best to run away, because if you try to help him, you will go to hell with him. You can only save yourself, but not him.
I understand you and I sincerely sympathize with you. I do not know why this terrible disease happens so often to smart, intelligent, good and wonderful people! You will think about it a lot and it will hurt you a lot, but everyone has an instinct for self-preservation and you have to protect your psyche and your life. The same thing happened to me years ago and I blamed myself. I blamed the doctor we went to for a consultation, who instead of offering help, spoke rudely, as if to say, "You've done impossible things!" Now this man is no longer alive. Darling, you have no choice but to at least save yourself!
Only he can help himself. I think the only chance for him is to go to an alcoholic commune. But he must want it ... With attempts at "self-control" the effect will be temporary. Only if he really takes such measures is there any chance of a happy future together. Otherwise, I don't see what you can do but move on. Do not torture yourself. It is not in your power to change things. F28