Hello! I am a girl of 24 years. I want to share something very interesting. I have had a sexual relationship with a man who has a girlfriend for almost a year. It all started quite spontaneously, there were arrangements for something serious. I thought it would be a one-off, but it's been going on for so long. I have no feelings for him, and I see that he does not. Everything between us is based only on sex. It doesn't matter to me that he is bound, because I am a free man. Let him think. It is clear that if it is not me, it will be different once he has decided to look for a mistress. His girlfriend, of course, didn't know. A month ago, however, he found out. She rummaged in his phone and found some text messages in which we make appointments. He called me, shouted at me, called me all sorts of things (the normal reaction of a not very smart woman - he curses his mistress, and her husband doesn't drink holy water). She caused him a scandal and he confessed everything in detail. From there I concluded that he cares a lot about her. But on the other hand, if she cared so much, he wouldn't cheat on her, knowing that if she found out she would be hurt. And the strangest thing is that she forgave him everything, with the stipulation that he would not cheat on her again. There were a few hysterical days, but it passed, she calmed down and forgave him. I thought this was the end of our story. But a few days later he looked for me and continued as before, asking me to be more discreet, and accordingly he would be more careful. So, tell me, what kind of relationship are theirs ?? Does he really hold on to her after he doesn't stop ??? Obviously, he doesn't care about me either, but theirs is very strange to me. It doesn't matter to me, I just find the situation as such strange. Can they lie to you for a year, sleep in your bed, to eat at your table, to have sex with you and to behave in cold blood, and you still have to beg? You obviously care about the other person, but does he care about you? And do you want to be with such a person? Well, I look from my own bell tower - I would not forgive such a thing. Come on, it happened once, but a whole year several times a week ... It's too much! I, as I said, have no problem with that. He didn't give me promises of fidelity, and I didn't make promises to his girlfriend. In her eyes, he must be "black," not his mistress. But, tell me, what kind of connection is theirs ??? Please do not turn the topic into another arena of vicious outbursts against lovers and poor girlfriends and wives. It's just hellishly illogical for me to have this kind of relationship. I don't see why he's with her and why she's still with him ... All the best and strive to be positive in your daily life! :)
Answers 15
"But, tell me, what kind of connection is theirs ??? "I'll tell you - a relationship of addictions, habits. They haven't loved each other for a long time, nor have sex ... (which the man lacks), but they just have mutual friends, environment, live well, the woman feels safe with him and they are on their toes to make a family and children. Just observe such and draw conclusions. Don't fall asleep when you have no feelings. Scratch where you need to and let them get better. Otherwise - warn him that you will not tolerate such excesses and problems - or he will control his hysterical girlfriend, or you will abandon him. I don't blame you otherwise - what are you guilty of? The rules are clear to you, you are a strong and independent wife and YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. You are not dependent - emotionally and financially on a man. Purely and simply out of scientific interest, I advise you to reveal the exact dependence of the future lady. I am 70% sure it is something material. (apartment, high patch, stroller) The remaining 30% may be a sense of security, a common past, acquaintances and plans. And learn a lesson - WHAT YOU SHOULD NOT GET UP AND BE. Good luck and keep being who you are. Watch your seira and this is the situation, and when you meet your boyfriend - a jester about this and the end of the hysteria on the phone by his fiancée.
You pay too much attention to something that doesn't seem to interest you. I will not turn the topic of the arena for attacks to lovers, but let the topic not turn to the topic of praise and compliments to the lovers, because the fact that in someone's misunderstood ideas it is very dignified and prestigious does not mean that it is so in reality. Very interesting number 1 where did you read that the participants in the story live together, have a common home, and even a child? And the fact that she is not emotionally dependent on this man (which I strongly doubt) necessarily makes her successful, strong and independent, only 24 years old? You speak with such conviction about someone's relationship, as if you know the people in it and the details that the author shares. Otherwise, I will not turn to the author, as I will probably be kicked out of the site for good. I'll just answer the question of how you can edit what - Maybe, maybe, in time you'll see for yourself that you can - from your own bell tower. Bad
That it's weird - it's weird. His girlfriend is a woman without dignity. But I don't see exactly how you differ from her. You both humiliate yourself, but in a different way.
Author, instead of wondering about the life and existence of people, think about it one day when you are in the place of this girl and your boyfriend arranges meetings with a 24-year-old muffin several times a week how you will feel .. you say you would never allow it .. is this the love for you .. the first obstacle and to give up .. must there be something material that will keep you with him .. the girl can love him .. quite often the feelings do not allow you to give up no matter how much it hurts .. !! stop thinking so superficially ...
Well, if it doesn't concern you, what do you care about their relationship. And don't say you won't forgive that nothing is known in life. And if you feel good without feeling, what are you worried about, look at yourself.
I don't think like number 1. There are men who cheat even if they have sex and love and everything. They just are. She probably loves him very much, especially since she forgave him. Apparently he loves her in some way, as long as he doesn't break up with her. He knows. If you are so curious, ask him. So what
Somehow you unnaturally repeat many times "I don't care", "I don't care", etc. It's like trying to justify yourself, that's how it sounds to me. I think after the scandal you expected them to separate and be yours alone. And I don't understand how such a relationship can be maintained - I don't understand him, you or his girlfriend. I advise you to find a boyfriend just for you.
Have you not thought that it is better to enjoy every moment spent with him? And not only. In each situation, extract only the positive and from the accumulated positive energy you will not have to think and bang your head with nonsense. Happiness on his part will charge you with a slight form of nepotism. In the sense of whether the good or the bad will flood you with false morals. Sex unlocks the hormone of happiness and if you really have quality sex that satisfies you, believe me, you will not be interested in someone else's routine. I wish you luck and less unnecessary negativity. R.
I join number two. He said it very correctly. You're trying to convince us you're cold-blooded. But on the other hand, their relationship was not worth it. In other words, why not dump her. And when he dumps her, who will he go to? Emmy with whom? Of course, with you, there is no other at hand. It's worth their relationship, they live. And you are the one waiting to be signaled. And for what? For a shaking of the bed.
"Can they lie to you for a year, ..." - maybe, darling, Bad told you in the end. You need life experience and you won't be so surprised. For now, consider whether you export such a relationship, because nothing in it will change, at least until one of you takes action. Winnie the Pooh
Bad once again is very right. In general, it summarizes everything I think. Even with your first sentence you are in a big mistake ... what you share is not very interesting at all, but a common phenomenon under the road and over the road (unfortunately, of course). What do you think that if a man cheats, then he does not necessarily love his wife and the question of why he is still with her in this situation, in your opinion, is worthy of scientific research. And how do you know how things really are with them, do you shine on them ... rather, I think you believe in the hot-tempered people that the man speaks to you. Do you think he will tell you "But we love each other very much, for me she is the greatest woman ..." what incentive will you have to give him some pleasure if he speaks to you tenderly about his wife. He manipulates you with stories, and you have obviously taken it too blindly to believe. Well, darling, there are many things that would incite a man to physical infidelity, but at the same time they would not let their partner find out about anything in the world. I was rather obsessed with an intrusive but rather unconscious jealousy of the other woman (actually you are the other, but I had to use some definite one). You don't care about your relationship with this man, nor about his relationship with the woman next to him, but you post topics but how could you, but this and that. When a person really does not sleep for something, does not dig and does not bother anyone (even a little himself) with it. And believe me, I don't write these things out of malice, at least because I neither know you nor share anything with you, but rather I give you advice ... you're 24, haven't you thought that at that age it is better to orient yourself to a free man,
After some of the above comments, I have almost nothing to add. People have said it better than I can. You don't care about people's relationships, that's why you think you're innocent, but the mistress is also guilty, because infidelity is committed through her. You seem to care about him, though.
I support number 3, which says that you are both without dignity - but I don't think you are humiliated in any other way. On the contrary, you are both absolutely stunned - you allow him to take turns according to your pleasure, and in my opinion you are not even the only participants in his harem. It will hardly make any impression on you if you find out about the others. You will just keep saying on the forums: "if I were in her place I would go" :)
Well, that's the habit, the time you spent with this person, the affection. And I think he saved her the whole truth. She hardly knows how long and how often you have sex with her boyfriend. I would not forgive in such a case either. But on the other hand, I would never fall into your situation. So much for no one that you caught up with this one. I'm very interested in the psychology of girls like you.
You were ashamed, you turned 24, let me ask you - what kind of relationship do you have with this man? As he is bound, what work do you have with him? The woman was very right, and she doesn't think her husband will get away with it. Of course he'll pick you up and yell at you, even that is small, my girl. Don't try to figure out that it's not your fault because her husband is a whore. You're as guilty as he is, and the woman not only had to yell at you, she had to crack you in a fight to learn not to stick your nose in there so you wouldn't get in the way. Another time to know ... You don't care about such questions as 'what kind of relationship do they have'. Watch your life, and don't deal with men tied with bibs. Free men aren't done yet, so take it easy.