Hello, I am 28 years old, married without children, with a successful and lucrative career. My husband and I have been together for 7 years. In the last 2 years. everything between us began to change and now I'm not sure if it makes sense to continue. He tells me he loves me, but I don't feel that way. Lately he does what he wants without considering me, I have the feeling that I am part of the decor of our home, not a person. When I come home from work, apart from making remarks to me that I haven't cooked and cleaned (I clean every other day), we hardly talk. No matter how hard I try to start a conversation, in the end things keep coming to me and how I don't do anything like people. My self-esteem was so crushed that I began to think that I was really useless. Please, people with more life experience to advise me how to act, what to change in myself. I want everything to be the same as before we loved and respected each other. Thanks in advance.
Answers 7
It seems to be something like that for everyone, men always grumbling, they still don't like something. I get along with mine, at times there are some remarks. We have two small children, he used to go home and grumble about toys on the floor, how could he. That day, the baby without socks, what kind of mother are you? I think everyone has irritating words. Let women say if they have men who drink once have no such attitude. Maybe he has an ideal man in his dreams.
And why it does not include cleaning, why mothers have not taught their sons, they can not cook, clean, stretch. The mother's maids, the woman and she need. If only these remarks are not so bad. You can tell him you don't like it.
Man, you work and clean at home, and he besides working eventually, what else does he do at home but remarks? Does it help with something or is it the next one to get a free maid for a woman? It is of great importance. If so, there is no point in talking at all, he is a complete egoist, he will not perceive anything.
Doesn't anything pick up your husband at home? Or did you come home from work and jazz on the couch with the beer and in front of the TV, waiting for you to feed him? Without asking you how your day went, how are you or something else? To help you with something, because when I look, he seems to be one of those who are waiting for everything to be ready. Have it cooked, cleaned, and what does he do? Don't become a servant woman. After so many years, it is already showing its essence. I think he is selfish.
G67 He has taken you for granted and treats you like a servant. You have no children, you are young, you have a profession and income. Don't put up with it, it won't get better, it will get worse when you have a child and worries increase and incomes decrease. I taught my sons to be housewives, they helped at home, in their families one shared the responsibilities, the other considered his wife a servant. I tried to talk to him 10 years ago, he told me that he was married and not to give him free advice. Property and possessions are easily divided when there are no children, you have time, a lot of men and most want commitment, family and children. Don't be afraid of freedom. My husband of 82 years is an assistant, a gentleman, he still earns very well and we have lived talking all our lives. Every day I wait for him to come home, we sit down for coffee / wine / car to talk about the day.
Tell him to hire a maid for the days when you don't clean. You work, clean and cook. What does he do after work other than find fault with you? Not that anything, but we live in the 21st century. There are people for everything. Here is an alternative solution to his problem.
From the author Hello, the day before I wrote here we had an argument and I told him that I could not continue like this and I started sleeping in the guest room. So 2 days without paying any attention to him. On the third day after work, I found him cleaning. Cleaned from to the whole house. Again, I didn't pay any attention to him and went straight to the guest room. On the fourth day I came home late. I went for a yuanicure, saw a friend. I didn't touch anything at home all the time. On the fifth day he called me that he would take me from work and so we went home without much talk. I saw that he had cooked. He set the table and invited me to dinner with him. After dinner before we raised the table, he apologized and admitted to the mistakes I had mentioned above. I told him everything I had to tell him and now he gave me a bunch of promises. I hope he really keeps his word. And I keep being cooler, to let me know I'm serious. Thank you all.