Last night I had an argument with my husband and he hit me. I am very ill and confused. I don't know what to do.
Answers 50
Just know that if there is a first time, there will be a second and a third and ..... until you have enough patience. So respect yourself and run until it has ruined your psyche. If you also have children - just don't let this person near you anymore - the suffering will be double or triple.
If he hit you once, even if he swears he won't touch you again, DON'T BELIEVE. This will be repeated three times. If you want such a life with such a husband - continue with him, if not immediately end your marriage at all costs. My husband started 15 years ago with 1 slap and 3 years later he attacked me again and again and again .... and every time he swore that he was sorry and would never touch me again. I couldn't stand it and left him. I'm sorry I didn't do it earlier. A man who is powerless to refute 1 woman with words and reaches out is a complete unfortunate .........
Whatever you said, it's not good that he hit you. Fuck, you're a woman after all, not some dog or other dog .. He did it in a moment of weakness maybe, or because you caused it, he said it in a moment of weakness, but it sucks .. I don't know what to do you do, wait and see if he will apologize to you and then take measures what to do next. I just hope the maxim is not true: that once he hit, he will do it again .. move away for a while, try and find out what he did, keep your distance and do not hint that you forgave him for slapping him, because he is not right ........... and maybe look for some guilt in yourself ...
A lot depends, I'm a man, but no man should sit over a woman with a fight. However, sometimes you are so impossible that this is the only thing I can think of. If he did it with rage, I don't know, that's not good. If you're innocent, let him know he did something terrible.
Leave him! A man who "relaxes his hand" does not stop just once. Tell him to find someone of his caliber to fight. Whatever you do, don't let me hit you. Aren't you a punching bag? I know it hurts more from the insult than from the slap, so be proud, go somewhere for a few days - to your mother, to a friend .... just to show him that he acted horribly and to understand that if holding on to you can lose you. Whatever problems you have, they must be solved in an intelligent way - in conversation; after all, you are human, not beasts. I hope I am useful to you with this advice. Heads up, darling!
Nonsense that a person has missed nothing means as long as it is not systematic, of course, if it is the first time it is not so scary. After all, you hurt him with words, didn't you? It hurts a lot more than words than a slap. I had a mistress who literally told me "what kind of man I have as a slap did not hit me." You just have to combine the two things, both not to be hot-tempered and not to be a pussy. So it's your fault too. Talk and everything will be fine I guarantee you. That is why we are people to make mistakes and to forgive. Do not listen to the previous comment is clearly not familiar with views on life. I wish you success, listen to me and write.
Number 6 is very right! You know best what kind of person is next to you! You need to talk - at least that's what normal people do. Nowadays, everyone loses steam, so talk! On the other hand, you are a mature woman! You need to be able to judge the person next to you and make your own decisions, not based on someone else's opinion! Let others decide their families! This seems to be the most correct! Solve it yourself!
Regarding the comment of "6": I have a lot to tell you - one thing is - you had a very decent mistress, was she a masochist, or what? Yes - words can hurt a lot more, but we don't know why they quarreled and what words they said to each other. So - before our eyes only a slap is present. Whatever words she said to him - NOTHING JUSTIFIES VIOLENCE! And the maxim "once he has done it, he will do it again" is only true if she allows it. And what does that mean - "not to be a pussy"? In my opinion, a man who beats women is a "pussy" in the ugliest sense that you, "men" can imagine. What success you wish her, if she listens to your advice she will decide that a man who beats women is some "real man"; you doom her to harassment and misery if she listens to you .....
Now let me tell you a few things. It's not true that once he hits her, he'll hit her again. I am almost 100% sure that this man is currently sorry with all his heart, because I have happened once in my life to hit my girlfriend. She forgave me and I never touched her again, but I am kinder to her than ever. Let me just point out that you women have a habit of chewing on a man, irritating him so much that you make him touch you. As for the story, let the girl think about whether she really hurt him a lot with her words. Yes, a man who tolerates his wife commanding him is a "man under a slipper." What I said about the mistress, I said it in the sense that women don't like "male birds", they don't like "jealous men", and that's how things should be, that WE MEN ARE SOMETHING BETWEEN THE TWO and think that I am a real "MACHO" man because I did not allow a woman to command me. I have always considered women.
Don't you know what to do, or are you cowardly? Get out of there, what else are you wondering. It is clear, and the sooner the better.
To 6 and 7 What does it mean: "She is to blame?" I read somewhere that the biggest killers also blame their victims. Bray that upbringing, bray that value system. Like my husband's mother, if I don't listen to fight. Only where I can't stand monsters who are still innocent.
At 10 Ha, your wife wants to command you or you do not comply with her wishes. Sometimes some do not comply with their wives, so as not to seem to command them. However, this was a weak character on the part of the man. To me, you're a real macho. With health!
I am a 19 year old girl. I don't know how or if you will take advice from me, but I would like to tell you what I think. I support with both hands those who tell you "is there a first time, will there be a second and a third and ..." There is no excuse for a person who attacks someone, there is no uglier picture than seeing your father reach out to your mother, there is no greater trauma for a child ... and I have always wondered about these women who, in my opinion, try to convince themselves, but they themselves do not believe "that everything is for the sake of the children and will be better to keep their marriage. " This is not true! We are not stupid, we understand what is happening. I don't want to be cruel, I don't know what I would do if the person I love hit me, but I know you can't swear that you love someone and hurt them at the same time. I'm not talking about physical pain - it subsides, it passes and is forgotten - I am talking about this pain from the disappointment that a person feels at such a moment. So I beg you to make the right decision, to talk, to understand each other, but I think that if I were you, if I have children, I would explain to them - they will certainly support you and I would leave this person. .
Women are strong in words, but in deeds they are bare water. So who are you 19 and 20 year old paws to judge people. When it comes to your head, then you can give some advice.
To 16: How do you know how old they are? I'm 48 years old. I would not tolerate such a thing for a day.
Remove it!
It will be very difficult for you to make the right decision if you truly love your husband. In fact, what is the right solution? And I think that once there is a first time, it will go on and on. Be strong, don't give in to him, show firmness !!!! success
Do you understand the family as a field for the supremacy of the spouses? - "" Be strong, don't give in to him, show firmness !!!! success "". I slapped my wife for the first time after 1 year of marriage. The second - after 25 years. In my opinion - fully deserved! She's unlikely to write to you, but I'm sure she hasn't had any thoughts like "Take it off." I wish I could do without it. But as a friend of mine says - the fight is not pedagogical, but it helps. In general. Don't get me wrong, I'm not for violence, but when dialogue doesn't help? I wonder how you managed to draw such profound conclusions from two sentences written by the victim. Someone, think about it, deserved it or not, was this slap without knowing the specific situation. The woman may owe an apology. Or here most of the comments are written by very proud, emancipated women who do not tolerate any interference in their personal lives? I'm not a misogynist, but I liked comment 4. Unfortunately, life is full of compromises. Give more than you want to get. I am referring to both sexes.
Number 20, here's what: first we are people and then men and women. It seems that people like you divide it into "men" and "women", judging by what is written ... For me, men who show violence, as well as women who tolerate it, are lowly primitive cowardly drummers. Don't tell me that there was reasons. By that logic, I can beat you tomorrow and say: he deserved it ... How will we live if we do that, think!
No one deserves to eat a fight. It doesn't matter what. I think there are many more civilized ways to understand each other. When it comes to fighting for me, he is no man. If you do not have a solution yourself, none of us will give you the right advice. You will judge for yourself what your relationship is. Is it worth living this way. Will you be afraid that there will be another such slap. I wish you much success in making this decision of yours.
Darling, I am 28 years old, my friend adored me, but for a while. We had to separate for 3 months, during which time he had cheated on me. He told me and I experienced it very hard. Until then, I thought I would never forgive such a thing and that everything would fall apart for me after that, but I loved him blindly for too long. I forgave him. but since the woman in question was his secretary, I continued to harass her constantly, every second. In one of our conversations, he told me that they had an emotional relationship with the lady in question that had never ended at that moment, the ground opened beneath me, my heart broke and I decided to just leave the room. At that moment he attacked me and started hitting me with all his might, for 3 months I could barely breathe from my cracked ribs, he was forcing me with whatever came to hand. And this was the man who adored me. I left him despite my feelings, which after that moment turned out to be just nostalgia for the good old days. Even if you continue to know one thing, you will never be the same, fear will begin to arise in you and this will kill your love, you will not dare to share anything with him because you will not be sure how he would react, he will agonize .... My advice is: GET OUT AN HOUR SOON, next time it will be more cruel.
After another quarrel over infidelity, my husband hit me. I pulled it off, of course. It happened again a few months later. He hit me on the back of the head, I fell to the floor and broke my knees. In front of the children. I didn't wait a third time and got divorced. I think once he touches his husband, it becomes a habit. And if the woman tolerates being beaten, she is to blame. She can be a masochist, love a fight and then have sex.
And it was women, I've been reading this comment for a long time and I don't dare to intervene because I don't know what the problem is. The man may have been furious at the time - he hit her. It's not nice, but she certainly knows what kind of man she's dealing with: 1. A tyrant who has no opinion but his 2. The typical BG MAN whose wife didn't shut up in time 3. A man who, despite his principles, has lost his temper . I personally managed to stop after grabbing my wife by the lapels. I just felt like I had a wife in front of me. However, if there was a man in front of me and he was so persistent, I guarantee that he would not think and stop. My respects dear, but just realize if you provoked him enough, if you stopped the argument in time / after all, this world is still male / and if this is the way he usually communicates with you. Once you answer these questions, the answer will appear on its own.
Are you normal? How can some justify even one slap? After him always, but always follows a second (and of course again deserved). The question is how long you will endure and live in anticipation of the next one. After a while it becomes a habit !!! In addition, you begin to weigh each of your words or actions - lest he decide that you are asking for it again. A person who is accustomed to misdeeds repeats and repeats them. There is no other development of things, the rest is a stupid delusion ...
While reading the speeches, I became very angry with the people who spoke positively about the fight. Abe, realize what you're talking about. Do you think that when you slap a woman, she already hates you so much that she never forgets it. My father beat my mother, even in front of us, he is no longer alive, but the insult remains after so many 20 years since he died. I'm 32 and I still remember it. My mother too. Such men are complexes who want to show something, but they do not know what. Run away from such men, they ruin your self-esteem, and they think that by stepping on someone, they become taller.
So. Don't worry nothing happened! Now it will be justified and why. What are the duties of a man: 1. When he gets up in the morning, he should hire his wife first, so that he is sure that he is the first for the day. 2. To take his money safely and go to work. 3. On his way, if he sees a small child smiling at him, because it is not known - he may be his father. 4. If he sees an old man smile at him, because that old man may be his father. 5. If during the day he has a chance to sleep with a woman, he will do it, because the sea throws fish once. . When he returns from work to eat, to stare. 6. Before he goes to bed, he slaps his wife - there's no way he can't!
I really liked what was written by №28. But seen from the comic side of the situation. It is a pity, however, that there are people in life who cover what is written 100%, and it is hard and miserable for women who live with such men. However, everyone decides for themselves how to proceed.
Unfortunately, we live in a world of violence and insults. I was personally raised in a very good and close-knit family, but I married a male abuser. A man who thinks the world revolves around him. A person who takes you for granted, for some of the furniture at home. I loved him too much, but over time it all ended beautifully. I am with him now out of fear and for completely different reasons, but I am sure that there will be "tomorrow" and everything will end someday. I admire people who have decided to put an end to it. I hope I will be so brave someday.
To all of you who tolerate the abuser next to you. Please take your hands as soon as possible. Leave the abuser. For the good future of yourself and especially of your children. Believe in yourself! Rely on yourself! Maintain both your physical and mental health!
Well, as trivial as it sounds - once he has done it I will repeat it three times - do not be afraid and run. It is better for people in the mouth than for people in the feet and some people sprinkle their heads with ashes just to throw dust in people's eyes-believe-I've witnessed-the wolf changes his fur but his temper does not ... Use as long as you have a choice.
Hello! I also want to support the opinion that after the first slap follows another and another and ... The bad thing is that every time the slap gets stronger, it turns into kicks, hitting the head in cabinets ... And this will not stop, even if there are then excuses and words like "Never again!". And from personal experience - leave the man immediately after the first time of violence, because then the fear will cover you more and more, and the resistance on your part will decrease, because the only thing you will think about, bent in the corner, is "When will stop? '
Send him to the traumatology and tell him that if he wants he can come back, but if he does, he will be in the morgue again: D
My friend hit me and kicked me and I left him. It's his first time in 5 years ..... and I'm afraid I made a huge mistake, because I love him very much and I know that he is not an aggressive person, but everyone says that if there is a first time, there will be a second. Not to mention that now I have to swallow both the insult and the separation ...... I insulted him, but he could also insult me, not push and hit me.
Do you want to be worshiped? You are not goddesses, and ordinary women are nothing less than us men. You have some unrealistic expectations of men. Otherwise, I'm against violence, but when she hits you first, shouldn't I respond? If a man has no right to hit a woman even with a flower, the woman must not humiliate him or hit him.
If a woman hits, will she be stronger than a man? Hardly ... Not to mention that the insult can be returned with an insult.
Please? ? !! !! Did he hit you? This is a crime ... Leave him ..
Hello again in 6 months :) Let me tell you quickly the outcome. After talking to my friend, we came to the conclusion that there is no point in continuing if I think he is likely to hit me again and live with fear. He was disgusted that he had done so, and he was aware of his action, all the more so because he was an intelligent man and despised people who hit women. That's why I wondered if I wanted to continue without him, because I believe that one day he will hit me again, or to return to him calmly, that the incident was some nasty exception to the aggression from which he learned a lesson. So I decided to be with him again. So far, thank God, nothing bad has happened, .... we fight and argue and reach our conclusions without having to slap thank God! I told myself that one day, God forbid, I would leave, I'm not stupid, but I found the good in the incident - he learned his lesson and knows that if he touches me, he will lose me forever. So better for me, if he is ready to be without me and cross the border, then I will not cry for such a person :) I hope I was useful!
Unfortunately, I also know about the insult after the blow, I don't know what to do ..., we have a 6-month-old son, I can't just get up and leave ..., but I can't live with the person who hit me. We've been together for three years, it hasn't hit me for the first time ... My thoughts are confused, even though I'm not
I appeal to all women who have been hit more than once by their husbands, seek psychological help, because each case is individual, in principle, and I know that once a man beats he will not stop, but still everyone is different, and if the bully belongs to the common denominator of garbage, at least there will be someone to help you overcome any separation and trauma from the incident. I know that a consultation is expensive, but in my opinion it is enough to orient a person in his soul, what he wants and how to achieve it, as long as of course he is not too confused.
You don't need such a "man"! So I'm smaller than everyone who wrote before, and I've experienced my friend "slapping" me. It's good that everyone is wrong, so I forgave him and for several months now I've had bruises on my hands. I advise you to leave him, there is no point in being with him, and after a while things can get out of control, which I hope I'm wrong about, and if you have children, you shouldn't think about it at all, imagine what it would be like if he repeated this "mistake" in front of them!
If that calms you down, I'll tell you that at least 70% of women are like you. It is clear that once he reaches out, there will be times to come. You don't have to put up with him and become his punching bag, but on the other hand, finding another one is not insured by the same, and staying alone is still not the best option. The solution is very difficult, you have to choose the least evil from the options listed so far. Success!
My advice: If it happens again, run for a second and no arguments will stop you from divorcing. Once a person makes a mistake to lose his temper, but if he repeats ... it is no longer a mistake, but a system.
No one is ever entitled to violence (consciously or not, mentally or physically) for any reason. If he still intervenes due to uncontrolled aggression, he must bear the consequences. However, there are cases when it is less unacceptable - for example, man against man, woman against woman. But when it is aimed at the weaker physically it is just disgusting and unforgivable. Such a person not only does not deserve a second chance, but does not even deserve to live. Below are all the freaks who attack or systematically beat their wives and children! Low and cowardly creatures who seek solace in meaningless excuses. Instead of suffering and blaming yourself all your life for what you have done, you still have the audacity to even belittle and justify your actions ?! Did she challenge you ?! What a pathetic road ... Shame on you.
Dear women, I have the same case. I love him with all my soul, more than anyone else, but once we were together he got drunk and asked me something about my ex-boyfriends and after he didn't like an answer, he slapped me. After a while I cried and he allegedly apologized, then after a second tease on his part a second slap followed and he said to me: 'this is nothing, I'm the man if I want and I'll kill your tooth' and I told him afterwards that he did not know that this was the end. What happened hurt me a lot. I wonder if because he was very drunk because in principle he is a very good man he will help the poorest and most unhappy and he is a very believer, he told me: 'after Jesus you are in second place' - he really loves me but he has terrible curves understandings of love. He thinks that as a man he can do whatever he wants and if I really love him I will understand him and swallow him. The strangest thing is that I realize that this is unacceptable and wrong and I tell him, I am proud but my heart is empty without this person. I have had enough men in my life and he is above them with all his qualities, but this is the thing that humiliates him and pushes me away from him. But after what I experienced with him and then this pain, there will hardly be another man I can give myself to like that and that kills me ...
47, go and light a candle of Christ that you got rid of .... with all your teeth in your mouth. As for men - he is a false follower - no true Christian beats women or drinks like a dragon. Forget it and enjoy your life !!! (with all his teeth !!!)
Maybe you're right no matter how drunk he is and no matter how much I tease him, if he thinks like a normal man he would never do it ...
So. Let's now see another point of view. I am a man. Years-37. I got married young green, a child-little. My wife calls - go sailing to earn money. Well, I abandon the civilian profession and go to sea, I love I don't want her to miss anything, the child too. I have been sailing for 2-3 years, I haven't looked at a woman, I haven't been to any mess. I understand that she is cheating on me, I catch her. What now? First I beat my lover, so I don't think about touching anyone else anymore. The second thing I did was watch her sit with her head down, I just thought I was shaking while she fucked up, I think, I think I finally slapped her hard, from the one where he sent her straight to the bed with a pirouette where he was cheating on me until 10 minutes ago. Well, am I a scumbag? Am I? family, sex to make money,and she - from absolutely nothing. Well, I'm not sorry that I hit her. She deserved it. We divorced, by the way, she was roaring against the divorce and begged me not to do it. She is currently alone with a big child, men come in and out of life. I have remarried, I have another wife and another child and I am happy, she does not make me drown in the oceans and so far she does not cheat on me, which proves that the garbage need slaps.Women, men-garbage is-slaps and fights.that the garbage needs slaps. Women, are men-garbage-slaps and fights.that the garbage needs slaps. Women, are men-garbage-slaps and fights.
I am a woman, but I congratulate number 50, still based on the assumption that it is left only with this well-deserved slap. I am the second wife of a man whose wife made him work abroad and did not allow him to go to bed for ... years .... on the other hand, she had a lover. Good luck
51, I would have respected you a lot if she had said the same thing from the position of the (ex) wife of 50. And I would like to express an opinion on the subject from a male point of view: There have been a few cases where I hit a woman. Sometimes the slap was deserved, sometimes - I admit - no. I'm sorry for everyone. I specify that by "hitting" I do not mean from these slaps as at number 50, where you fly 5 meters back. More like the slaps that a (benevolent) mother hits her child when she has done something wrong. The "problem" for me was that I never perceived this as a form of aggression towards the woman, maybe because if someone slapped me lightly, I wouldn't take it too far, even if I had fun I would grin. It took me a while to realize that this is not funny for women and that they find it extremely offensive and humiliating. Which is a point of view that would never have crossed my mind if someone hadn't told me. Eventually, my wife found the strength to "open" my eyes and tell me (rather write) these things so that I could see the situation through her eyes. At first I was shocked ("What is this nonsense, why are you slapping yourself ?!") and it took me a while to realize that this is not a joke and that the situation is serious. I haven't hit her since. I also want to point out that as a child there was never any violence in my family - neither my father assaulted my mother in ANY way (even slightly), nor was I beaten by my parents. The strongest form of "violence" I have experienced is having my ears pulled by my mother. My father "punished" me with words, not hands. I'm not saying all this to justify violence or anything like that, I'm just saying it so that you women can see things a little through men's eyes. And to understand that it is not so obvious for every man how much inwardly you accept aggression and in general what trifles you take for "aggression". And that not every man who hits you does it to hurt, humiliate, insult you, or because he doesn't love you, or I don't know what else. There are certainly some, I do not deny. But there are others. I say this as a counterexample to persuasive statements such as "if he reaches out once, he will reach out a second time", or "throw it away now" or "you can't change it", etc. For some men, it really is them is "incurable". It is possible that most women have happened to such people and that is why they are so convinced. But there are others. If you are sure that your husband loves you as much as I love the woman next to me, be sure that you CAN change him. How - you need to know yourself, to know your men. Mine succeeded.
№50: You stayed with one slap, I got most of my rage on the pishman Romeoto. It's not something I'm proud of and I mention as a masculine achievement, but by no means do I regret it. In general, I am a peaceful person, good-natured and smiling, but I think that when one person acts extremely dirty and makes fun of another, he deserves a fight. You're right, humans are not animals to be beaten, but by behaving like animals, they are. One philosopher said that the tragedy was not that man descended from the ape, but that he did not go beyond it. Do not overestimate people, especially women, but men are the same - there are extreme scoundrels, extreme scoundrels, those whose deeds can make you vomit your insides from disgust. What to do with them? Dostoevsky said that crime meets punishment, and I agree with that.