I broke up 4 months ago with someone I still love, and I thought we might be right. He is 33 and I am 27. He is not married, he has no children. He was living in an apartment with other people at the time, and he wanted to move so that he could be alone, and when I came, it would be more convenient for us, and not to consider others. He took me to look at rooms together, consulted my opinion, we discussed advantages and disadvantages. In the end, he settled on the one I approved, because it is close to my home. And he insisted on being the one so I could be closer and come whenever I wanted. Straight 5-10 minutes away, even the same number of rooms and layout of the premises. We became kind of neighbors. I can practically see his block from my balcony. He even gave me a key and made me feel at home. He would throw it at me if I wanted to bring something of mine. But at the same time, he didn't introduce me to anyone, except for the people I live with - some colleagues from work. I didn't know his mother or a friend. There was always time, and somehow he wasn't in a hurry to let me in. I, for my part, met him, but he did not. Otherwise, he had our photos on his profile, and many people had liked them. And we started arguing because it started to weigh on me.
He kept postponing this, and almost 7 months passed, and I was still not introduced as a friend, or anything. We met, but somehow he did not want to officially acknowledge our relationship. Our last quarrel was quite big. He called me shallow, and other ugly things. He unleashed all his anger and malice on me, as if I were not the man he had been kissing until yesterday. I just couldn't believe that this was the same person who couldn't spend a day without me and called me at least 3 times a day. We wrote to each other late at night, early in the morning we heard about good morning and wished each other a good day. We also had glasses with our photos. He promised me holidays with his relatives, going to huts, some beautiful promises that still did not come true. I didn't want any big guests, at least to know his family and a friend. He was not from the city and went every week, and he did not invite me. He lived only with his mother and was his home there. His mother stayed in his care and tried to help her.
He made a division between his world and me. It was as if he was barely pushing the workweek to get home to his mother. He once mentioned to me that his mother was afraid that a woman might forbid him to see her, and so wrap him up so that he would forget her. Because his other brother was married a long way off, and he rarely came home. Before he met me, he worked until Friday and came home on Saturday and Sunday. It's like he's a student, not a 30-year-old man. I never stopped walking, but he never invited me. He never told his mother that he couldn't come this week, for example, because we were going somewhere, for example. And I had so many ideas .... After we quarreled so fiercely, he didn't look for me at all for weeks. Even if I wrote him a hello, he would cut me off because he was busy.
He didn't pick up the phone at all when I called. In the end, I insisted on at least returning the key to him, and he agreed. He didn't dare look me in the eye. Bill vowed not to offend me, but it has already happened and he is sorry. I was terribly hurt by the words and told him he had to change his attitude. He stumbled that he did not accept ultimatums and left. It would not change for anyone. Remembering now, after a while, I wonder what went wrong and did I misjudge the person in front of me? I will be glad to hear your opinions as well.
Answers 12
He put up with you for too long, and you don't write if it was his insistence that you introduce him to your parents. It is right for a person not to rush to introduce you to anyone before he is sure that you are the MAN. Apparently he judged you well, because you are capricious, you like to impose yourself and you are obsessed. No man can tolerate someone like you, every man seeks peace in a relationship, not tension. It's good that he doubted you and didn't hurry to advertise you, even these photos on Facebook are much more than you deserve. Do the same with the next one and I won't be surprised if I read here ... why no man wants me. By the way, I've been a man this way, but I haven't kept the miracle to myself for too long. Each person decides for himself when, whom and to whom to present, each insistence has understood where it leads. Good luck with the next one.
I fully support number 1, and the author, how do you know that it is convenient to introduce you to your mother? Imagine that the woman was ill, for example, and now was not the time. And don't expect him to give up his mother for you or ignore her. In any case, this relationship is doomed. Draw your own conclusions and do not make the same mistakes again in your next relationship. - scorpion.
To number 1 How did you know from a story what kind of person I am and what I deserve? Have you known me for 27 years? That some photos were too many for me, not to be in kindergarten? It is normal for the person I am with to let me into his life. I met because I thought so, and because I wanted to. I didn't keep the other one away like he did. He knew a lot more about me than I did about him. And it's normal to know someone's family, or at least a friend. It is normal to have plans. It is normal to wonder why this man never took me with him once. It's normal to wonder why we never went somewhere with his company, and he went alone. Where did you see whimsy and imposition? Did I want him to move out, or did I choose his accommodation? No, he consulted himself. And for my acquaintance - it is not OK for me to be in the dark for the life of the other, and to be isolated. It's not OK for me to be friends just in words, or for sex. I'm not OK. Sumati promised me who did not fulfill. I'm not for vacations, guests and the like. If only I had felt that this person accepted me, and that his environment knew and accepted me. If I had heard at least once - this is H., the girl I'm dating. If that's super abnormal these days, then so be it. But I love people who rate a story about a person's character and say it doesn't. Behind every story here sits a real man, not something to pour your anger on if you see the woman guilty. I'm not for vacations, guests and the like. If only I had felt that this person accepted me, and that his environment knew and accepted me. If I had heard at least once - this is H., the girl I'm dating. If that's super abnormal these days, then so be it. But I love people who rate a story about a person's character and say it doesn't. Behind every story here sits a real man, not something to pour your anger on if you see the woman guilty. I'm not for vacations, guests and the like. If only I had felt that this person accepted me, and that his environment knew and accepted me. If I had heard at least once - this is H., the girl I'm dating. If that's super abnormal these days, then so be it. But I love people who rate a story about a person's character and say it doesn't. Behind every story here sits a real man, not something to pour your anger on if you see the woman guilty.
To number 2 The woman is completely healthy and working quite normally. She even takes care of the yard and animals. At least I know that, and I've seen pictures. Quite a healthy woman. When did I expect him to give up his mother? Does anyone want to include you in their plans? He seemed to be making plans to take her this week, the next. And he still found excuses not to let that happen. It's like I don't know what. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to take all the blame that I just need someone for fun.
With so much grumbling, I don't know how he put up with you for so long. Quite annoying, sorry to say that. But in what is written you repeat the same thing 100 times. You yourself have broken the bond between you. I don't know what it's like to meet my parents.
Up to 1 and 2 Admirations for passive male solidarity. And can you play it on an active one? !? Because many Bulgarian men fill the diaper in front of a serious prospect And if you need 1666 years to decide on one action, sorry, women are not like that and do not have to put up with anything
Author, you are right. Good thing you got rid of this man. He obviously has something to hide from you since he does not want to introduce you to any of his relatives and friends. He can be married for nothing. A person who has nothing to hide does not behave like that. If he had any worries, he should have shared them with you, not ignored you. In a relationship, the most important thing is trust, ie to share your joys and worries with your partner, whom you love and to whom you have serious intentions. You are not capricious at all, you make an impression of a reasonable and dedicated person. Too bad for the one who didn't appreciate you. Or he may have realized that the end of a trouble-free relationship is approaching because you don't accept keeping you in the dark, and the truth may be that if he shares it with you, you'll leave him.
This is called emotional dependence on mom. Usually, when the father is missing from the family, the mother clings to the son and expects him to be her support in life. I guess she manages to make him feel guilty because she's alone and he has a girlfriend. At least that was the case with me. I overcame this dependence very hard. I can talk a lot about this, but that's not the point. If you want your friend again, just love him and be with him, for example, meet and talk to him, tell him that you love him. Of course, if you can, so do you. I guess he loves you too, but his mom is talking nonsense. I managed to cope with the help of my wife. Male, 44
He lied to you. "Mom's a fur coat, because someone's fucking her, ripping through her pants" is a classic symptom, the diagnosis is cerebral p * derastia. Okay, I'm a little helpful - it's my mother's cake. Mom's not afraid, she feels ugly female jealousy. She knows it, he knows it (consciously or not) and he lies to you. She's lying because maybe Mom's been bad to other women before. He doesn't want you to spoil your idea of him, but someone has to bring her haldola and iced tea. And he will not compromise. I'm sorry, but there's obviously only room for one woman in his life. But I'm not really sorry, because it's good for people like that not to breed.
Do not feel sorry for a person who has not shown that he wants you to be together. There is no point in pushing for such a relationship.
BLA blah. This is not an emotional dependence on mom. And is there a dependence on your friends? He just doesn't take you seriously. What to look for under the ox calf. Men are such geeks now that women have no choice but to deceive themselves. Yeah ... There were good guys too. I immediately reassure you that there are more decent than yours - bald, fat, desperate, bad in bed. A man, even the smallest option to have something better, uses it. In this case, the truth is so nasty that you don't want to believe it, but you see it yourself. He's caught you, he likes you, but if he finds a cool chick, he'll change you. Why introduce you to everyone, tomorrow he may meet a thinner, sexier, better in bed. Otherwise he loves you very much ....
The above colleagues have told you, but I as a woman will give my opinion. It is inherent in a woman to be obsessive, to want to learn every single detail about her partner, in which there is nothing wrong, but ... 1 - Every man is different. 2 - Men do not want to suffocate them. 3 - The fact that you are an adult is not an excuse to get acquainted with the parents of both in the beginning. - Age is no excuse that your relationship will be long and serious. - Age is no excuse that a 3 or 7 month relationship is serious enough. I also have a relationship, not for months, but for years, but I don't like to be suffocated, I don't like to hang out with me all the time, to want to know my friends and my family. Everyone chooses when to reveal himself to you completely. I think you think as a teen girl who thinks this and that have to happen. Everything happens in time, when you don't want to wait - find someone like you. F, 23