My daughter is 34 years old. He graduated and later went to work abroad. Everything was fine until he met a boy. They came home on vacation for about two weeks. We talked in the evening, but I didn't like some things in it, such as taking out a loan of 7,000 to buy clothes. It struck me that he didn't leave her for a minute to be just the two of us as mother and daughter. He lied that he was from another city, that his father was a construction contractor, that his mother was a business lady, and a bunch of other things. We heard he stole her money. Two years later, my daughter found out that she had a family with two children. She left him, but later we found out she was with him again. We talked every night that he had to make a decision and end the relationship. He has been coming to BG for two years now and is with him again. She lies that she doesn't meet him, but she lies again and again. I talked to her many times, but she didn't want to talk about him until she once admitted that she didn't love him and that she was in the habit of dating him. She is very responsible. He has achieved many things in his life. I want to help her a lot, but I don't know how anymore. Her father and sister also speak, but all the same. He says he will make a decision, but we have been in a vicious circle for 9 years now. If anyone has fallen into such a state please help me. I sincerely want to organize my life. As a mother, I don't want to turn my back on her, I want to help her recover. Please give me advice !!! that he will make a decision, but until then we have been spinning in a vicious circle for 9 years. If anyone is in such a state please help me. I sincerely want to organize my life. As a mother, I don't want to turn my back on her, I want to help her recover. Please give me advice !!! that he will make a decision, but until then we have been spinning in a vicious circle for 9 years. If anyone is in such a state please help me. I sincerely want to organize my life. As a mother, I don't want to turn my back on her, I want to help her recover. Please give me advice !!!
Answers 14
She's 100% with him for sex, but she's ashamed to tell you.
If she is with him, she doesn't love him at all, she told you to calm him down, but if she continues to love him, and it's not her first youth, she will hold the branch. And for the man, if he no longer has a family and does not make mistakes as before, why should you be against him. From what you have written, it is clear that you are strictly patriarchal, and we are no longer in the 20th century. Leave your daughter, she is not small, if you get along with the gentleman in question do not interfere, at this age she must make her own choices in life, not you parents
Again, female nature in action - no logic, only feelings.
Do you want me to tell you, but often? There is no father in place, this has happened ... As a man, I tell you, your generation of men are absolute travelers who allowed women to get on their heads. Your generation allowed feminism, and the illusion that the woman you see was equal to the man. That she had to choose her partner on her own, and if she didn't hit - to rely on the state for money ... That's why your daughters go with such outspoken simpletons. I am a healthy man of 35, with a salary of 5 vouchers, abandoned by my father, I achieved everything on my own. But many like me are without women, 1) because they are too boring for your daughters, do you see we study, we fight, we fight in life, we have no time for dramas, intrigues, dumps 2) we ourselves do not see the point in having spoiled princesses , who in 2-3 years will tell us that "the chemistry is gone", or did not have it at all, and they were with us only for the money. Women are so stubborn in their relationships only when they are trampled on, and believe me, not all men are naive and stupid, they know a lot and use it. Most often just for sex, but as in this case - for money. Such is their biology. If he tramples her, then he is a dominant man. If you look at it as a painted egg - then it is a rusk, beta, tired and is up to a year or two. So in time, you as a father choose a husband for your daughter, or at least you have to approve it first. If you don't give your word - either she calms down, or the road and to manage on her own as she is very smart. It may sound cruel, but it is to be a man, and to live on a physical planet where if one has forgotten, everyone eats the other, and our job is to survive. I know women don't believe us, but as men, we all want women to be those fairy angels, with wide hearts, appreciating valiant and quality men. The reality, however, is that they are biological beings like everyone else who operate on a certain primitive program to survive. And it is a fight to be respected, and if they can't fight, they are looking for someone who can .... However, the laws of the jungle do not work in a civilized society. That's why your fathers used to teach you different things, didn't they? Which everyone decided were "obsolete" ... You thought you were living in a very modern and easy time. Not so. A man must always be at war, even in peacetime. There has never been real peace on this planet, everything is apparent ... At this stage you can do nothing but itch. I want to tell you something more, but it will be - you better bang your head with it than I do. A woman can be very smart, conscientious, but when it comes to sexual relationships, she is more uncontrollable than a man. Because no one taught her to be careful, you know. Your generation created the illusion of this "free love". There is nothing special about your daughter, she is just part of the social trend ...
Yes, she is your daughter, but you can't interfere in her personal affairs!
He totally obsessed her and manipulated her. Until she realizes that this person is unsuitable for her, no matter what you do, she will not understand. Try to spend more time together if possible. Me
It can be an emotional addiction, it creates contradictory strong feelings, an "emotional elevator", in these cases logic and reason do not function adequately.
What business does an old basket have in the relationship of its 34-year-old daughter? Tell me, grandmother, what is your job, how does your daughter live?
5, the author is a woman. And another thing - get to learn to respect the elderly, if you want to take 50,000 vouchers - you have no right to afford to keep such a tone of an adult! It is clear that your mother set you against men her age because your father abandoned you. Just imagine singing the same things, but you were born a woman - you would sound like a top feminist. Self-refer and just admit to yourself that you are a crazy and negative type, so you are not tied to women, but you are not guilty, most likely your mother has contributed a lot to this .. 7 and 8 are good comments, especially 8. Author, you really have nothing to do but be there for her when she needs you, in an emotional sense. If you oppose her relationship 100 percent, you will push her even more firmly into his arms. This is some kind of manipulative type, and in order for your daughter to give in and come to his senses, she probably has a problem with not appreciating herself enough, and he gives her the necessary july that she is cool and significant. In no case do not give money for any of their whims - do not be rude and do not react sharply, just say calmly that you do not have a point. The hope remains to meet another man who will be a normal person. One morning to wake up and believe that he deserves more in his life. who will be a normal person. One morning to wake up and believe that he deserves more in his life. who will be a normal person. One morning to wake up and believe that he deserves more in his life.
Number 5 made me think. I follow the topics on the site because of comments like yours. I'm sorry I don't know you personally, I'm sure you're an interesting interlocutor. F33 married
Dear lady, your daughter has been an adult for a long time and she and only she can make a decision about her life. I know that as a mother it hurts and you want to help, but you just have nothing to do with it. You have said many times what you think about this relationship, from now on it decides. At most, if you continue to bother her with the constant raising of the topic, she will turn her back and break off any relationship with you. I don't believe you want that! So just stop raising the topic. She is aware of your opinion, has a head on her shoulders, she will decide for herself. Just assume she's 34, not 14, and you can't tell her how to live or not. Otherwise you run the risk of losing it.
Why didn't she ask him directly, as there are such paralyzed parents, why he didn't take out money for clothes, but sat waiting for his girlfriend's mother to take out loans. 7000 for clothes - an absolutely funny story. Do they work abroad, that someone from a backward country has to take out a loan (!) To spend it on clothes (!). Your daughter is caught up in an absolute mess and I don't know what to think of her. Some time ago I knew indirectly such a poor man. He met in Sofia with a cashier or an accountant at a factory. He scolded her for love, islands and a great life. The one married at about 40, died for attention. She took 30-40 thousand official money, went with the filth to a casino to "play" them, she squandered them for one night and the duck went home to her husband. Then I don't know if they took a loan or divorced, but the picture is a classic. The stain naturally disappeared. In 1 minute I felt that he was not a commodity at all and I don't know what a naive fool can trust him with.
Comment number 5 is extremely accurate. Number 10 is either a woman or one of the so-called "cucks" in the USA (look for it if you don't know what it is): First: I'm very amused how you managed to extract a whole psychological profile from one comment, even if you describe your childhood past 5. Second: the fact that the author or anyone else, including an adult, does not automatically make her worthy of respect. Respect is earned. It is won with actions, correct decisions and a lot of work. Here, the only thing we see is a woman who raised another woman, who at 34 behaves like a 14-year-old. And what is the advice? To stand next to her and support her. Well, I don't agree. I have to let her beat her head and learn to take responsibility for her actions (something that the modern woman is absolutely incapable of in my opinion, but I hope I will be refuted someday). At 34, most women are torn between work, housework, and babysitting (some even send high school students to school) instead of riding emotional elevators and x ** s carousels. And one more thing: A person of 34 with a university degree who has traveled the world should be a little more aware of what is good and bad for him and when someone manipulates him. But of course, "she is not to blame and responsible in any way for the situation, others are to blame, she is a flower (although already withering) that needs support." she is not to blame and responsible in any way for the situation, the others are to blame, she is a flower (though already withering) that needs support. " she is not to blame and responsible in any way for the situation, the others are to blame, she is a flower (though already withering) that needs support. "
number 5 what would you say about your mother's father is interesting to me, also about your father's father? Aren't they travelers too? One - that he failed to choose and approve a decent man for his daughter, and the other that he did not raise a decent man .. Isn't your mother a 'feminist' because she 'didn't hit'? (Rhetorical questions are this) And by the way, I think that commentators 11 and 14 wrote n5. I'm so tired of spamming topics posted by people who really need just a little reassurance, such emotionally damaged individuals as number5. number 5, if you read my comment carefully (I'm 10) you will see that I advise the author not to oppose her daughter's relationship, not to react sharply to her, but what can I explain to you - your brain is so clouded by the resentment you have accumulated because of your childhood - here at first reading you didn't even understand, that the author is a woman, you immediately designed your film. As you go with this malice after a year or two and you will no longer be fit for your job, your brain will start giving more and more such fallacies there too ... It is inevitable. And yes, I am a woman ;-) But if I was a man I had to think like you, right? Otherwise I wouldn't be a 'real man', who ... (again a rhetorical question) I won't explain the respect for the elderly, I don't see the point. You are funny. (again a rhetorical question) I will not explain to you the respect for the elderly, I do not see the point. You are funny. (again a rhetorical question) I will not explain to you the respect for the elderly, I do not see the point. You are funny.